A/N: This story is now in the home stretch and heading toward its conclusion. I appreciate those who are still with me. By my estimate, this story, after this chapter, should have possibly another eleven chapters, maybe less. And a big 'thank you' to catjenkins for her help with this chapter.

Chapter 49

When Doctor Carson walked into Aaron's room later that same day, she found a different man waiting for her from what she was used to seeing. She couldn't be sure, but the agent almost seemed glad to see her, and appeared eager to talk openly. After she glanced at both of the agents standing guard, the two agents nodded at her and left the room. She then sat down in the chair Rossi had vacated, and crossed her long legs. She folded her arms over her chest and studied the agent.

"Aaron, I managed to reschedule another appointment because I sensed it was important for you to talk to me. So tell me, am I right?"

Hotch hadn't looked at the doctor from the moment she walked into his room, and didn't now.

"Aaron, look at me."

Hotch lifted his head and slowly turned his eyes toward the doctor and looked at her.

"Aaron, if you've changed your mind I can leave and we can reschedule." Carson started to get out of the chair.

"Don't…I don't want you to leave. Please. And I…I'd like to continue." He observed the doctor lower herself back down in the chair.

"Talk to me, agent. What's happened since we last met?"

"I…I had a long talk with Agent Rossi," Hotch said so softly that Carson almost missed hearing him.

"Wonderful!" she told herself happily. "Is it all right if I ask what the two of you discussed?" The question was met with silence.

"Would I be wrong to assume one of the things you discussed was the fact that your friend chose a woman to help you?"

Hotch shrugged and looked away.

"Agent Hotchner?"

"All right…yes," Hotch looked up again. "I told him he had no right to choose a woman for me to talk to about what happened. That…that it would be too embarrassing for me!"

"And how did he react to what you said?"

Hotch breathed out his mouth. "He said…he said he knew you would be able to help me, and that he…he overlooked the fact that you were a woman because…" He swallowed hard and licked his lips. "…because you were the best, and that I deserved the best." He brushed away a lone tear making its way down his cheek.

"Anything else?"

"He said I've convinced myself that you would find me a disgrace as a man because of what happened. But he pointed out that the only one who thinks that is me."

"Good for you, Agent Rossi!" Carson told herself.

"Agent Rossi sounds like a very good friend willing to risk his friendship with you by telling you the truth," Carson stated calmly, her eyes never wavering.

A small smile appeared on Hotch's face. "He…he's like a father to me."

Bingo! Carson now tried a different tact as a realization came to her. "Agent Hotchner, I read in your file that your father is deceased. But if he were alive, how do you believe he would have reacted to what happened to you?"

Aaron's eyes narrowed into slits and he ground his lower jaw as if struggling with his emotions.

"He...he would have considered me a pathetic excuse for a man to let somebody use me like that, and...and he would never have let me forget it. Would have said it was my fault."

"So he would have blamed you for the attack."

"He blamed me for everything that went wrong in his life," Hotch murmured.

"And how did Agent Rossi react once he learned what happened to you?"

"He…he was angry."

"How did he show his anger?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, in what way did Agent Rossi express his anger toward what happened?"

Hotch shrugged. "I'm not really sure. I mean…he voiced his anger at what happened. That's about it, I suppose."

"I need you to think about it some more, Aaron. I need you to examine it in terms of your relationship with Agent Rossi. You said you consider him a father."

Hotch chewed his lower lip as he reexamined his relationship with the older man other than as a co-worker. It wasn't long before a light bulb went off in his head. He looked at the doctor as the realization came to him.

"He is…Dave is protective of me. It's always his hand that reaches down to pull me back up when I fall."

"What else?" Carson asked with a smile.

A warm, affectionate smile appeared on Hotch's face. "He's always there with a strong shoulder for me to lean on when things become too much, or when I need it. I guess in a way…Dave wants the parents' privilege of seeing me surpass what he himself has attained in life…." He hung his head and chuckled softly. "I sometimes get the feeling he sees me as his legacy as well as a friend."

And how does that make you feel?"

Aaron looked up again. "Like a son whose father is proud of him in every way. Like I matter." His smile widened a bit and it didn't go unnoticed by Amanda Carson.

"Aaron, just one more question about Agent Rossi, and then we will discuss Aaron Hotchner. Based on what you just told me, Agent Rossi sounds like he is someone you wished had been your father."

Hotch wasn't surprised by that statement, nor did he expect it, so it caught him a bit off guard. Mainly because he had never realized just how deeply Rossi's presence in his life really meant to him. Many times the young agent had wished the older man had been his father. But even a surrogate father was better than what he had. And reexamining it now, he realized whenever he had a personal problem, Rossi was always there for him. In fact, no matter what was going on in his life, Rossi always checked on him. Made sure he was alright, made sure he ate when he was supposed to, and that he basically took care of himself. All the things he wished his birth father had done when he was a child but hadn't.

"Aaron?"

"I…I sometimes forget how he's always been there for me, even when he doesn't need to be there. I guess you could call him the godfather of our family."

"And what about the rest of your team?" Carson decided to pursue her line of questioning after catching the word 'family.'

Hotch was confused. "What about them?" he asked.

"How did they react hearing about what happened to you?"

"They're angry as hell. Garcia, JJ, and Rossi are the ones who've visited so far, but I've been told the others are angry, and will visit as soon as they can."

Amanda tilted her head to the side slightly. "Tell me, agent, are you disappointed that not everybody on your team has visited?"

Hotch shrugged. "Maybe just a little. But I understand why they haven't."

"Tell me."

"Let's see…Reid and Prentiss don't do well in hospitals. Morgan on the other hand, hates hospitals with a passion. And if you consider the work we do, can you blame them?"

Amanda chuckled. "Not really. But regardless of that, you are their boss and their friend."

"I know…and they will after they solve this case. The cases we handle are more important than any one individual on the team. I've always stressed that to them. No exceptions." Aaron hid his mouth behind the back of his hand to hide a yawn.

Doctor Carson took notice as they had been talking for a while. "Do you need a break, agent? We have been talking for a while…or if you prefer, we can stop right here for today. Or we can continue as you seem to be making great strides today. It's up to you."

"I am a little tired, Doctor Carson, but if it's all right with you, I'd like to keep going."

"Excellent! So let's now talk about you. Are you still blaming yourself for what happened to you?"

Hotch opened his mouth to respond, but before a word left his mouth, Amanda interrupted him.

"Hold off on answering that right now. Tell me, did Agent Rossi give you some other things to think about today?"

Hotch nodded his head. "He pointed out that I was denied the chance to defend myself against my attacker." He noticed Carson looking at him waiting for him to continue. "He…he also pointed out because I was drugged, I wasn't able to defend myself. And that my attacker knew that the only way he could attack me was to make me incapable of fighting back."

"And what do you think about his observation?"

Hotch bit his lower lip wishing he were anywhere other than where he was at the moment. "He uh…he made several good points." He didn't admit some of them were a bit unsettling to hear. He noticed Amanda was looking at him waiting for him to continue. "I was surprised yet not surprised by his words. Unlike the others on my team, Dave has always been the most direct with me. Morgan is also, but not as much as Dave."

"What did he say?"

"He uh…he said I can either wallow in my anger and self-blame, or do something about it while I have the opportunity."

"Good advice. Anything else?"

"He apologized to me. He apologized for not staying with me in the office that night, or going with me to the bar. He didn't need to do that. He didn't do anything wrong, but yet he still apologized."

"You didn't do anything wrong either, Aaron," Carson explained.

"I know that now. I…I was so intent on blaming myself that I lashed out at everybody else. I guess I was stuck in a black hole telling myself I should have prevented the attack, when in reality, I couldn't have prevented it because I was drugged."

Carson smiled. "Aaron, can we assume you no longer blame yourself for what happened?"

"We can," Hotch stated. "I was just thinking though."

"About what?"

"I don't know exactly…but I suspect…no, I need to take back my life. The longer I wallow in self-pity, blaming others, and not dealing with what happened, he wins. It's time I take my life back so I can again be the leader my team expects, and the father my son deserves."

Carson's smile widened. "Aaron, you've come a long way today, and I'd like to discuss this further with you. But we can do that at our next session. Right now you need to rest."

Hotch only nodded and sighed. "Thank you, doctor. Thank you for everything you've done for me. I mean it."

"There's no need for you to thank me, agent. You are the one who's done all the work. We've come a long way today, and we've not quite reached the finish line yet, but we're getting there."

Amanda got to her feet and started to turn around when she suddenly paused and looked back at her patient.

"Aaron, I have one more thing to say before I leave."

"What's that?"

"You already are the leader your team expects, and the father your son deserves. You only need to look into the faces of those who love you to see that." That said, she walked out of the room leaving Hotch alone with his thoughts. A slow smile appeared on his face.

Spencer Reid stopped the black SUV outside the Foyet house; Prentiss seated beside him in the passenger seat. Behind them were several detectives, uniformed officers, and a SWAT unit. All vehicles, once they were close to their destination, turned off their flashing lights and sirens so as not to draw attention. Emily glanced at the dilapidated wooden building with its white paint peeling, its windows broken, and by all appearances, looking as though nobody had lived there for a long while.

"I'm willing to bet nobody's been here for years from the looks of this place," Emily explained as she climbed out of the vehicle. "But once before we were fooled." She pulled out her sidearm from her side holster.

Reid pulled out his weapon as well. "How do you want to do this?" he asked.

"Why don't you and a few others take the back, and I'll take the others and go in the front."

"Be careful," Reid said.

"You too."

Reid nodded and gestured to several SWAT members and several uniforms and made his way around to the back of the house quietly, everybody sticking to the shadows. Then Emily and the remaining SWAT and uniforms made their way to the front door.

"Nathan Foyet…FBI! Come out with your hands up!" she shouted. There was no response.

Prentiss knocked on the door and waited. Again there was no response. She knocked again louder this time. No response. Grabbing the doorknob she turned it finding the door opened easily. She stood in the doorway peering into a darkened interior, her weapon pointed in front of her.

"FBI, we're coming in!" she announced. Her announcement was met with silence.

Grabbing her Mag-lite from her belt, Emily shined the light into the darkened room followed by the others.

It took about fifteen-twenty minutes to clear the entire building. Emily and Reid met in the center of the living room. She grabbed her cell phone, pressed a button, and then put the phone on speaker so Reid could listen in on the conversation.

"Morgan…" a voice said answering after two rings.

"There's nobody here, Derek," Emily explained, disappointed. "Then again, we really didn't expect to find anything or anyone here. But it had to be checked out regardless. How about you? Find anything at the factory?"

"We're about ten minutes away. I just hope this bastard is there, because I have no idea where we're gonna look next if he isn't."

"You can't think like that, Derek. We're gonna get this scumbag, save that little girl, and make Hotch feel safe again," Reid said. "Also keep in mind, Nathan Foyet is not The Reaper."

"I know that, kid. It's just…."

"It's just what?" Emily asked, worried. She didn't like the doubt in her friend's voice. "Talk to us."

"It's just that we're dealing with another Foyet. And if we learned anything from dealing with The Reaper, it's that you can't trust a Foyet. Because no matter how predictable you think he is, you find out he's more unpredictable than you originally realized."