I stopped the tape as soon as I could.

That was Lila's voice.

The thought was spinning around in my head as I replayed what I had heard over and over again.

When I finally calmed myself down, I pressed the play button once more.

"More specifically, why my life ended.

And if you're listening to this tape you're one of the reasons why.

I'm not saying which tape brings you into the story.

But fear not, if you received this lovely little box, your name will pop up."

I could feel my blood freezing in my veins. Lila Sawyer was dead and from the beyond, she was telling me that I was the reason why.

Part of me wanted to listen to these damn tapes. Part of me wanted to run for the hills. Part of me was replaying every single time I had ever talked to Lila and wondering what I did wrong. How did I, unknowingly, cause the death of the girl that I loved?

The only real choice I had was to continue listening.

"There are only two rules. Rule one is to listen. Rule two is to pass it on. When you have listened to all thirteen sides, because there are thirteen sides to every story, rewind the tapes and pass it on to the next person. Oh, and the box of tapes should have included a map. I'll be mentioning several spots around our beloved city. I suggest going to them if you want to get a little more insight. Or don't. However, if you try to break the rules, know that I did make a copy of these tapes, and I left them with a trusted individual who, if this package doesn't make it through all of you, will release those copies in a very public manner. This was not a spur of the moment decision. Do not take me for granted. Not again. Our first destination will be at C4."

I stopped the tape once again. I pulled out the map and examined it closer. It was in a grid labeled A-J across and 1-10 down. In the C4 square was a red star.

Without saying anything to my grandparents, I ran out the boarding house and got on my bike.

This was Lila's damn suicide note, and I was going to do what she said.

"You've arrived at my first house in this shitty town where I threw my first and only party and where I met Sid Gifaldi, the subject of our first tape.

You were in love with my friend Ruth. Well, she was kind of my friend. She was more like the only person I knew since I moved to Hillwood that summer. But she was nice enough.

She was moving away, and wanted to help me meet new people before she left. The only other person that I knew was Arnold, whom I met just a couple of weeks before at work.

Arnold was a nice guy through and through. He had a habit of rambling when he talked, but that was kind of sweet. He was also a huge dork, but at least I felt comfortable around him.

But I'm getting off-tasked here. We're talking about you right now, Sid.

Ruth wanted to introduce me to your friend Stinky who she called "the sweet kind of dumb" and while he was not too ugly to look at, the moment I saw your radiant smile, I was doomed.

It was the kind of smile that could convince a girl that you were a nice guy. That maybe you were different than all the boneheaded idiots high school had to offer. That maybe you could treat a girl right. And for a short while, that was true.

We lost touch with Ruth rather quickly and you also lost your interest in her. I wondered if I was a bad friend for liking you, even though she never thought of you that way. If only I had stayed away. Maybe, things would have turned out differently and I would still be alive. Oh well. Back to the story.

Before my mom passed away, she told me that the key to a boy's heart was to give him a chase. So when you tried to talk to me in the hallways, I pretended not to see you. Sometimes, I would even pretend I was too busy talking to someone on the phone.

Looking back, it seemed kind of dumb to play games. Why can't girls and guys just tell each other that they liked each other without it getting all weird?

But it worked. You were hooked, interested, and wanting. You chased after me and I ran away. We played our game for about two weeks before I gave you my number. And then I snuck out of the house to meet you at the park late at night.

It was my first date ever and it was everything that I could want. I dreamed that our first kiss would be at a park. I would be on top of the slide while you would be waiting for me down below. As I slid down, you would catch me at the bottom. And then it would happen.

I know what you all are thinking: Lila Sawyer is a slut.

Oops, did you catch that? I said "Lila Sawyer is". I can't say that anymore.

We kissed.

That's all that happened. But I know that you all heard something else.

Well sorry to disappoint you, but all we did was kiss.

And you... You, Sid, took a magical night, what should have been the best day of my life, and tainted it with lies and humiliation.

The next morning as all of you listening would know, a certain photo went around. In that photo, I was wearing my usual green skirt but it was riding up my thigh from riding down the slide. I admit that the photo was risqué. If I was someone else, I might have thought the same thing.

Did you know what happened after you sent that photo around? Did you know how many people began to whisper behind my back? Did you know how many boys tried to get me to sleep with them because they thought I was "easy"?

I bet you didn't. You didn't know that what you had done would have changed everything for me. You were the start of what would be the end of me.

But I'm not done with you yet, Sid. Keep listening and turn the tape over for more."

"Arnold? Are you okay, man?"

I turned around and found myself face to face with my old childhood friend, Gerald Johanssen. It was only then did I notice that my face was wet with tears. I wiped them away with my sleeve and gave him a nod.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine. Just... " I was stammering. I didn't know what to say to him. I wasn't sure if I could tell him about the tapes.

"So it's your turn with the tapes?" he asked, as if he could read my mind.

"How.. did you... Are you on the tapes?" I returned his question with my own. I didn't even realize that Lila talked to Gerald at all. "Am I one of the reasons Lila Sawyer is dead?"

"Arnold... We all are the reason for Lila's death."

Author's Note:

Thanks for the reviews guys! To answer fictionlover94's question, I haven't read the book yet so I'm sorry to say that it does not follow the book.

Also, I've decided to do a spin off of the show with Lila in Hannah's shoes because in the episode of Hey Arnold where they introduced Lila for the first time, all the boys liked her while all the girls hated her and bullied her a lot. I felt like she would fit into Hannah's story fairly well.

I'll admit that the pacing of this chapter was kind of weird. I felt like the show did a good job of overlapping scenes and I just realized how hard it was to translate it back to words. Maybe I'll read the book for inspiration on how to do it better haha.

Thank you all again for the reviews and reading. I'll hope to see you all soon.