Chapter 8 – Titanium

It had been a few days since Connie was admitted to hospital and she had been moved upstairs to another unit. She was physically recovering, but the mental and emotional healing was going to take a lot longer. Connie was sleeping when Cal was finally persuaded to leave her side for a little while. Nobody had seen Cal that caring for someone before, not even Ethan, but at the same time nobody suspected that there were feelings running as deeply as there were.

"Hey Cal, can I talk to you?" Zoe stopped him as he was walking through the ED and started towards the staff room. When Cal walked in he noticed that a few of the staff had gathered in there as well as one of Connie's oldest friends Elliot. He had been around a lot more recently to help out with caring for Grace. "What's going on?" Cal turned on his heel to face Zoe who was warmly smiling. "Nothing, we just want to help."

Turns out that everyone there; Zoe and Max, Lofty, Charlie, Elliot, even Rita all wanted to help Connie return to normal. They'd decided to swap sitting with Connie during the days to keep her company in their breaks, and also between Zoe, Max and Elliot they would pick Grace up from school each day and bring her to the hospital until Connie could be discharged. Zoe also spoke about all of them helping when Connie got home. She was happy to spend some evenings with the clinical lead, as was several others in the room. Cal couldn't believe the amount of people around trying to help her.

As everyone was about to leave the office Cal bumped into a busy Ethan. "Cal, sorry I was supposed to be in there too… I was just caught up with a patient-" "It's fine nibbles, seriously. I know that you'd help me out." Cal smiled before deciding he needed to go home and shower as he'd agreed to pick Grace up tonight.

Upstairs Connie had woken up to see Zoe sitting by her bedside. "To what do I owe this pleasure?" Connie looked over to her colleague and a small smile played at the corners of her lips. "Well I thought I'd be the one to offer you the hard truths because I know Cal won't." Connie's smile soon faded and was replaced by a calm expression which just stared off into the distance. "You need help Connie, but the only way things are going to change is if you let them and let us help you."

Zoe had been speaking to Connie for a while now, and there was never any sign of her listening until she mentioned someone that changed it all. "Cal's gone to pick Grace up from school now and bring her here to see you." She turned to face Zoe. "He went… She's coming here? I don't think I can-" "Yes you can. Do you know why." Connie just looked at Zoe "Because you have so many people here to help you. Everyone downstairs wants to help however they can… Coming to see you, occupy Grace, Christ giving you paperwork to do… whatever it is you need, tell us because we want to help. You just have to let us." Connie wasn't sure what to say, she thought that everyone hated her.

A few hours passed and Zoe had stayed with Connie the whole time. Although she hadn't opened up about everything, she had told Zoe herself exactly what had been happening over the past few months. Strangely Connie found that it helped her, being able to say everything to someone who wouldn't judge her for it. "Thank you Zoe. I want to be how I was before and I know it's not going to be easy, but I need to do this for Grace." Connie nodded as there was some noise at the door. "I mean it, anything you need tell me." Zoe squeezed her hand before standing and leaving the room.

"Mummy!" Grace came running in the room but stopped at the side of the bed when she saw all the wires and tubes attached to her. "It's okay baby, it's better than it looks. Come round this side…" She patted the bed as Grace wandered around the other side and jumped up immediately leaning in to hug her mother. This she had missed, holding her little girl in her arms. She was supposed to protect her at all costs, not be the one to put her in danger. She felt the tears begin to sting her eyes when she noticed Cal was still leaning against the doorframe not sure whether he should stay or not.

After a few minutes Grace sat up. "I made you something…" She pulled out a piece of paper that had been folded several times. What she saw when she opened it shocked her. There were several photos, old and recent cut up and stuck on this piece of paper with some writing in the middle. To Mummy, I love you lots and lots and I'm sorry for what I said to you. Love your little girl Grace x x x "Gracie it's lovely, thank you baby." Connie looked towards Cal and saw him smiling.

Connie looked at the paper again and noticed that there weren't just photos of her and Grace. There were pictures of her with Elliot, and several of her old colleagues. There were pictures from the few times Connie had gone out with the ED staff and there were a few, the most recent ones, where she was with Grace but also some with Cal. It was this, the little things that she needed to let her guide her back to where she used to be. This was a constant reminder of everything she once had and everything that she could have again, if she just let people in.

It was almost dinner when there was a knock at the door. "I believe that there is a young lady in here who is waiting for something to eat?" Max appeared at the door smiling towards Grace who immediately got off the bed and ran to the door. Connie looked to the door and noticed that it wasn't only Max, but also Lofty, Robyn and Ethan. She smiled kindly at them all realising that that was there way of offering to take Grace out for a while. "Thank you" she mouthed the words silently but Max smiled and took hold of Grace's hand. "So I was thinking pizza?" All Connie heard as the door shut was Grace talking excitedly which made her smile.

Cal sat down on the bed next to Connie who tried sitting up straight. "Cal, thank you. I know that you helped her with this and I…" Connie felt the familiar lump rise in her throat which came before tears. "I just, I know I need to accept help and I know that you've done so much for me already… But I need-" "Hey, you don't even need to ask. I'll be there through all of this, no matter what okay?" Connie nodded as Cal turned his back to her and rested against the pillow next to her, allowing her to rest her head on his chest and relax a little.

It had been an hour or so of the pair lying quietly before Connie decided to say something again. "I just wanted to say that I know this is going to be hard, and at times I'm probably going to push everyone away… But please don't leave me on my own because when you're around it feels like I really can get through it." Cal didn't answer but just pulled her in closer, as though it would protect her from anything else that was thrown her way.

Titanium by David Guetta feat Sia