Hey guys... I would bore you with excuses but I'm sure you'd rather read, so enjoy!

I'll do the reviews at the end.

Lu xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Alec couldn't quite remember crashing through the corridors of the hospital, or the painful minutes that had in fact been seconds searching up and down the right hallway for Izzy's private room. He could barely recall how he had pushed right past the doctors in the room to the bedside, demanding to see her and shouting that he was her brother. He couldn't quite retrace the slow steps he had made to Izzy after he had seen her laying there, her face a contrastingly ghostly white to her ebony hair, he eyes gently closed, the shock reverberating through him every time his feet hit the floor. He couldn't summon up the memory of slumping in the chair beside her, grasping her limp hand and watching and squinting and seeing that yes, her chest was ever so slightly rising and falling. He didn't even know what the time was.

Just that he was with Izzy, and he wasn't going to let her out of his sight until she woke up.

The doctors had no idea when she would – for now it was just a waiting game – but Alec had all the same demanded to know something, anything. One by one they had shaken their heads and left, leaving him alone with his sister.

He stroked the back of her hand calmly and looked down at her through gradually glazing eyes, at the features that even in this uncertain sleep were still beautiful; beautiful and familiar. She had always been there.

He was about two, and he'd had to go and stay with the Penhallow's overnight because Daddy said Mommy needed to go into hospital because he was going to have a little sister. It was all very exciting.

Daddy had just picked him up in the new shiny car and now they were driving to the hospital to see her. Mommy had said that he would have to be very careful and very gentle because she would be very delicate and fragile, and if he did anything too silly he might hurt her, and then Mommy would be very cross and Daddy would be very cross and it wouldn't be very nice. His feet were tapping against the back of Daddy's seat he was so excited, and then Daddy shouted very loudly because he was distracting him and if he didn't stop there might be an accident.

Then they were in a room, and it was all white white white, and he was very tired, clutching his bunny in one hand and Daddy in the other, and Mommy was there, lying on the bed, and she looked like she was fast asleep but then she sat up. She had something white and smothered in blankets in her arms, and she offered it to Daddy again when they got close, and then she gave him a hug and it was warm and soft and Mommy and then Daddy was showing him the little bundle. There was a small little hand peeping out, and a small little face which was screwed up with its eyes shut tightly, and it was all tiny tiny tiny, and then Mommy was saying meet you new baby sister Isabelle, and he said hello Iss-ee-bear because he couldn't say Isabelle, and then Iss-ee-bear had squeezed his finger and he had giggled and she had squeezed harder.

Mom and Dad were out and it was dark, and the babysitter hadn't turned up. He was lying in bed, tossing and turning and trying to get to sleep, but there was a thunderstorm outside and there were booms echoing through the massive house and he was a bit scared. Besides, it was too loud. He turned over again, burying his face into the pillow – and then, in a lapse in the thunder, he heard the door to his room creak ever so slightly open, and a small face peek around it.

It was Izzy. She couldn't have been more than about four or five, and she was hugging the toy rabbit that used to belong to him to her chest tightly. She whispered to him that she was scared, and then he beckoned to her and she hopped on to the bed beside him and cuddled up to him. He felt her relax, and after a few minutes she was fast asleep. The bed was massive, so he scooted over quietly and fell asleep on top of the covers.

He was sat in the car on the way to the hospital, Izzy sat nervously next to him wondering if he was going to snitch on her. He'd managed to break his wrist after she had gotten herself stuck up a tree in the back garden. He'd climbed up the tree and grabbed Izzy's hand and half pulled her down onto the branch just below him. And then as a joke she had yanked down on his hand – but he'd been pretty unstable, and had fallen a good ten to fifteen feet and landed funny – cue shouting and Izzy quickly scrambling down the rest of the tree.

A few hours later, once he'd had an x-ray and a cast fitted, his Mom had sat them both down on the couch and had asked what had happened, and he'd seen Izzy brace herself for the inevitable fit of rage when she discovered that it was all her fault, and then he had almost – almost – smiled at the quickly concealed look of surprise as he explained that he'd been climbing the trees and slipped and ended up landing awkwardly, leaving her almost entirely out of the story. Afterwards she had asked why he had covered for her and he had simply said that she was his younger sister, and it was his job to look after her and protect her, even if it was her fault that there had been trouble.

Izzy must have been about fourteen. It was a summer night, and both Robert and Maryse were away on business for the week with Max and Jace was on a date. Since he was sixteen or seventeen he had been deemed responsible enough to be in charge for a few days, which was why he had felt compelled to raise both eyebrows at her attire.

To be fair, she had been dressed in a way that even Magnus may have been shocked at – and he had worn some pretty shocking things to school and even more elaborate outfits on all of the times that he had dragged him to clubs – with a black dress that left very little to the imagination, excessive makeup and heels so high that it was a wonder that she hadn't toppled down the stairs.

"Iz, you can't go out like that."

"Yes I can."

"You can't and you won't. I absolutely forbid it."

"You can't do that, you're not…"

"Not what? Not your father? Not Robert? Maybe not, but I am in charge. You are not going out like that."

"Jesus, why are you being so like this? Just because Mom and Dad forbade you from going out with Magnus…"

"That was different!"

"How?!"

"Because they didn't stop me from going out because they thought I was irresponsible or dressed like a hooker! Iz, you are FOURTEEN!"

"You've been clubbing since you were fifteen! What's the difference?!"

"I never said that I had an issue with you going out, just with what you are wearing."

"Urgh, fine. Fine, I'll get changed."

"Good. And Iz?"

"What?"

"Just…just be safe. And remember that you can call me or Magnus or Jace if you get into any trouble or want picking up at any point."

"Yeh yeh whatever. Bye."

He smiled as he watched her flounce out of the door, and then the smile fell. He hated watching her go. But at least like this she wasn't sneaking out behind his back, getting him into trouble, getting herself into trouble. She was going to destroy herself if she wasn't careful.

He was running about in his room, packing his bags, shoving everything he possibly could into them. His breath was very shallow and very rapid, and the red mark on his face throbbed painfully, but he wasn't letting it slow him down. In fact, after five minutes, he was completely finished, and was just lifting up his window to slip away into the night when his sister burst in, her normally perfect hair uncharacteristically out of place and a shocked expression plastered on her face.

"Where the HELL are you going, Alexander Lightwood?!"

"Magnus's probably."

"Okay, and why, exactly?!"

"Iz, I can't stay here. It's just giving everyone, especially Max, such trauma, and I can't do that to you guys anymore. And I can't really do it to myself either."

"But you can't just abandon us, please…"

"Iz, I'm not just gonna abandon you. I'll come back and look after you whenever Maryse and Robert are out, and spend some time with you, if I can, and I could still pick Max up from school if you really really want, but… I can't stay here. It's too much for everyone."

He opened the window fully and chucked his bags out onto the ground, and perched on the windowsill ready to jump out onto the tree and climb down.

"Wait…"

He turned around. Izzy had come up right behind him.

"Yeh?"

"I'm…I'm gonna miss you. You're like…the best brother I could hope for."

"Now you're just being sentimental." They laughed. "Don't say that to Jace. He is of course, the best brother." He said, mirroring Jace's voice exactly. They both laughed again, and then the moment stopped, and they were both crying again.

"I'm sorry Iz. But I have to go."

Izzy hugged him tightly to her.

"I'll miss you."

"You'll probably see me tomorrow, Iz."

"I'll still miss you!"

"And I'll miss you too."

And he jumped out of the window.

There was a knock at the door, and he slowly removed himself from the couch to open it. The place was a mess, with takeout covering the entire floor and several broken pieces of crockery – it appeared that the cat had gone on yet another bloody rampage and had smashed up his favourite mug, the one with the dinosaur on it, and several plates. He wound his way through the mess, swearing when he got a shard of glass in his foot, and then hopped the rest of the way to turn the key.

"Hey, um now's kinda a bad…oh."

The boy standing in the doorway was drenched from head to toe, having obviously been caught in the most recent thunderstorm. He held two massive duffel bags and it looked like he might have been crying as well – it was hard to tell the tear tracks from the rain drops.

"Okay, go sit on the couch, let me put a plaster on my foot and then…yeah. Yep."

Two seconds later he had plastered up and was sat next to the other boy, who was sat hugging his knees with his shoes off, and dripping water all over the furniture. Normally, he would have been disgruntled, but he could tell that this was no ordinary visit, and that something was wrong.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Can…can I stay here?!"

"What happened?!"

He shook his head.

"Please…just…can I?"

"Of course, biscuit."

And he pulled him in for a hug.

He knew almost immediately, as soon as he walked through the door, that something was properly wrong. Even the cat seemed to have sensed the gloomy atmosphere and was perched precariously on top of his favourite teapot – yes, he had a teapot – looking solemn. Cats could look solemn. He stood by that.

Then he saw his boyfriend, rocking backwards and forwards with his knees clutched tightly to his chest on the couch, a solitary tear running down his cheek, his eyes glazed over and his expression very very far away. He was scared to touch him and break his reverie, but at the same time he knew that he would have to say something or else... he just felt like he needed to help.

"Al...Alexander? Are you...what the Hell happened...um...God...Alec?"

"He's...God...God...he's...he's..."

"Alec?"

"He's dead."

"Wai...What?"

"Max. He's...yep. He's gone."

"Wha...Jesus, what happened?"

"Car crash. They said he died instantly."

"Oh..."

"They said it like it should have been a comfort. It wasn't. It doesn't stop the fact that he died!"

"No...oh God Alec..."

Magnus woke up in the forest drenched in cold sweat and hyperventilating and crying. It was all too much.

Just realised... chapter 20! Woop woop guys!

sarahps - hoping you have managed to survive waiting. sorry :( xxx

luvmusic - well, that chapter didn't really help Izzy... but yes, bye bye Camille. xxx

LondonRose - sorry for the wait xxx

l'amore - thank you so much! xxx

AsraStar - hold tight xxx

Nisandfeline - maybe...maybe this will happen. Who knows?

Hotlight - thanks for the advice, and thanks for your review becaus eit gave me the kick up the backside to get this finished. xxx

Guest - I am glad so xxx

DescensusAverno - you were, and great name! I do too, but we have to wait. Even I have to wait. My imagination is a bitch sometimes.

Love you all

Lu xxxxxxxxx