Requiem for the Living

By Jinxd n Cursed

Disclaimer: This is a work of fanfiction. I merely play in the world of J.K. Rowling; she still owns the characters.

Kyrie, eleison.
Christe, eleison.
Kyrie, eleison.

Chapter Eleven

The next letter from Hermione Weasley came as he was preparing his dinner. Though he was infinitely curious, the letter would wait until after supper was over. His meal was almost done and would produce superb leftovers for lunch the next day: cheesy ham and leeks with an onion cake. He had picked up a good loaf of bread and a few bottles of ginger beer whilst he was in town. He had just finished setting the table when he heard a knock on the door. Taking up his wand, he walked slowly to the door, not making a sound.

Another knock sounded, this one accompanied by a voice. "Open the door Severus!"

Wand still in hand, he opened the door to see an impatient Minerva McGonagal waiting for him.

"I wasn't expecting to see you until tomorrow evening," he said, finally lowering his wand.

"Yes, yes, yes," she said irritably, stepping into the house. "I had a meeting at the Ministry this evening and after that frustration, I decided to pay you a visit. I hope you've made enough for two."

"As always," he said, following her into the kitchen. He took another place setting from the cupboard and set it across from his own place at the table. "Would you prefer ginger beer, wine, or something stronger?"

"Something stronger," she said. "Do you have any scotch?"

He nodded and took the bottle from the cabinet closest to the table. He poured two fingers into a glass.

"You'll have to do better than that," she said.

He poured another finger before returning the bottle to the cabinet. He then added two whiskey rocks from the cold storage cabinet. "Does that suit better?"

"That will do for now," she said. "What's for dinner? Please tell me it isn't cottage pie. They serve it at Hogwarts once a week now and I am sick of it."

"Cheesy ham and leeks and onion pie," he informed her. "I was planning to go into the village to the pastry shop this evening for a chocolate torte. Perhaps you will join me?"

"Only if we can go to the pub as well," she told him.

"What happened at this meeting that has driven you to consume mass quantities of alcohol?" he inquired, checking on the food in the oven. The ham and leeks were perfectly bubbly but the pie needed a few more minutes. He carefully levitated the main dish from the oven.

"The Ministry is trying to take over Hogwarts," she said. "Wants to poke their noses into our curriculum and have a say on who we hire. You know, the same things they've been trying to do for years that they never could get away with when Albus was in charge."

"So the usual frustrations then," he said. "Which curriculum are they attacking this time?"

"Which do you think?" she asked.

"Potions, if it's anything like usual," he replied.

"Of course. They wish to eliminate first and second year Potions for music and art class. Art class! At Hogwarts!" she told him, throwing up her hands.

"And what is the justification this time?" he queried.

"The same as usual: Durmstrang and Beauxbatons don't start potions until third year, letting eleven and twelve-year-olds mess with boiling cauldrons and flames isn't very safe, the usual load of rubbish. Never mind that our safety record is better than either of those schools," she told him. She completed her statement by taking a long pull from her scotch.

"Lovely," he said. "Are you still employing both Wendell Bruckhorst and Horace Slughorn?"

"Yes," she replied. "Wendell is almost done his mastery and then Horace can officially retire. Really, Wendell is doing all the work at this point. Horace just enjoys the salary, warm quarters, and proximity to Hogsmeade."

Severus snorted. "I believe that was always his desire."

"You are not wrong," she told him. "I suspect the only reason it wasn't worse when you were teaching is because Lucius liked you so much. He kept the rest of the idiots in the Board of Governors at bay."

"He asked me regularly what I wanted in regards to policies at Hogwarts," Severus replied mildly. "One of the only good things born out of my time with Voldemort."

Minerva mumbled something completely unintelligible but Severus chose to ignore her in favour of checking on the onion cake. It was done so he pulled it out of the oven and carefully turned it over onto a plate. That done, he brought both dishes to the table along with the bread and a crock of butter.

Minerva had never been a shy dinner guest. She served up large portions of both dishes and cut off a thick piece of bread, spreading it with butter. He served himself and then began tucking in. Both of the dishes were ones he had picked up during the last ten years in Wales and after ordering them in the pubs a few times, he learned to make his own. He'd learned a lot about cooking in the last few years, having to take care of himself rather than letting the house elves do it for him. It wasn't that he didn't know how before, it was just that he hadn't really had occasion to do so beyond the rare weekend trip to Spinner's End where he would subsist primarily on eggs and toast with the odd addition of sausages.

"This is good, Severus," Minerva said. "I love onion cake."

"As do I, which is why I prepared it this evening," Severus said.

"What have you been up to in the last few weeks?" she asked.

"I continue to brew on a contract with St. Mungo's," he said. "Recently, I've been corresponding with a representative from their research department."

She looked up sharply. "You've been writing to Hermione Weasley?"

"I did not say that name," he replied mildly.

"You didn't need to!" she said. "I know all about Hermione's project. They've been looking for a Potions master."

"Healer Weasley has made me aware of this herself," he informed her. "She must be quite desperate as she has shared a good deal of information with me. Or rather, with Jack Hier."

"She is indeed. The work she has showed me is quite advanced and while she has done good work on her own, they need a potions expert," she told him. She eyed him levelly. "I don't suppose this is a project you would like to take on?"

"While I have been considering some of her work, I'm afraid it will not tempt me to give up my quiet life here. I doubt Wizarding Britain would be kind if they knew I was alive," he told her.

"You were exonerated posthumously," she reminded him. "You cannot serve any time in prison."

"Be that as it may, I doubt society will ever forgive me for Dumbledore's death." He pushed his plate away, suddenly no longer hungry for any of it.

"More importantly than that, Severus, have you forgiven yourself?" She leveled him with an intense stare.

He sighed. "Minerva, I have been responsible for the deaths of my two greatest friends. I have forgiven myself for Lily's death but to have done it a second time? Well, even a man as cold as I is affected by that."

"Codswallop," Minerva pronounced. "You are far from cold and I know better than to assume that you ever forgave yourself for the death of Lily. What's more, Lily was not your best friend. While she was a nice girl by most accounts, she was vain and held onto a grudge like no one I have ever known before. You made one mistake and then she refused to resume your friendship."

"And what of Dumbledore?" he asked.

Minerva shook her head. "That man always had 'the greater good' at heart. You were a pawn in his hands. He cared about you, of that I am sure, but not so much that he would sacrifice his plans to save your soul. He had you kill him because doing so fulfilled his needs, not yours."

"What other option was there?" Severus asked.

"To let the Malfoy boy kill him? To force Tom to do it himself? To die of natural causes? There are any number of options he could have taken but solidifying you in Voldemort's inner circle served his purpose the best."

"Again I ask, what other options were there if we wanted to win the war? He predicted Voldemort would give Hogwarts to me and I would be able to protect the students and staff," Severus argued.

"If he had not forced you to proclaim loyalty to Voldemort through his death and had instead let Mr. Malfoy kill him, he would have preserved your position in the Order and as a spy. I would have become Headmistress and both of us would have protected the students here and assisted Potter in his quest. He cared more for Draco Malfoy than he did for you, his own spy, colleague, and friend." Minerva was now standing. "There are a thousand ways it could have gone, Severus, but there was only one way he wanted it to go so you were the sacrificial lamb."

He had no reply to that. Part of him knew that she was correct: Dumbledore was the chess master and used all his pieces however he thought best, whether they liked it or not. "I cannot argue against that."

Minerva gave his shoulder a maternal pat. "I want you to stop blaming yourself for things that were beyond your control. The past is passed and I am far more concerned with your future happiness than your past sins."

"I'm afraid I will never escape those," he said somewhat morosely. "They are far too numerous."

"Balderdash," Minerva said. "Have you heard nothing I said? You have been forced to commit atrocities for people other than yourself in the name of the greater good. You grew up in a loveless home and saw more horrible things before you were eleven than I saw in the first war. No one can blame you for that." She smiled thinly. "The only person still blaming you is you."

She started at him for a long moment, her eyes boring into his. He turned away when he couldn't take it anymore. This evening was supposed to be peaceful, not dredged up in horrors from the past. He stood and began taking the plates over to the counter.

"Now," Minerva said brightly, "Let's get this cleaned up. I believe you promised me a walk and some chocolate torte."

The chocolate torte they got in the nearby village was delicious and after returning to the cottage, Severus gave Minerva a large portion of his recent wages from St. Mungos to exchange for Muggle currency. When she left, he finally turned to the letter from Healer Weasley.

Dear Mr. Hier,

Thank you for your prompt response to my latest correspondence. My colleagues and I have been steadily working to get answers to your questions and many more but we are still in the preliminary stage of research. I have been corresponding with Hestia Jones in an effort to secure more information on her theory that lycanthropy is a pathogen rather than a curse as previously assumed. She will have a preliminary report tomorrow, which I shall forward to you upon receipt.

Mr. Boot's work as an Arithmancy master has been invaluable to our success. Just today, he was able to analyze the breed of winged horse hoof shaving needed as well as the quantity, stirring patterns, number of stirs, and its effect on other ingredients. I have enclosed the specific calculations but I shall summarize them here: two ounces of Thestral hoof shavings are required, and those shavings replace not only the powdered horn of bicorn, but also the jobberknoll feathers and the kava. It eliminates both stirring sequences following the additions of the feathers and kava and instead requires seventy-three stirs in a figure eight pattern with a rosewood stirring implement. My colleague was able to determine all of this utilizing three equations in the span of half an hour, a task that would have taken a lesser expert more than a day.

As for our next steps in ingredient substitution, I have compiled a few potential replacements for all but the enchanted Belladonna. That will require more research, as enchanted ingredients are notoriously difficult to replace. Here is the short list of ingredients we intend to research:

Griffin feathers- Augery, cockatrice, fwooper, or Hippogriff feathers

Thunder God Vine- sarsaparilla, yucca, chlorella, and green tea

Flesh Eating Slug mucus- garden slug mucus, leeches, and flobberworms

These substitutions will require more research and likely many calculations from my team members. We are hoping that we will gain a Potions master for our team soon, as that expertise will surely streamline the process. I do hope you are still considering the idea of joining our team. I would be interested to hear your opinions on which, if any, of the previously mentioned ingredients could work as viable substitutes.

Best Regards,
Hermione Weasley

So, she wasn't entirely unintelligent. The enchanted Belladonna would be extremely difficult to replace in the potion, as both the ingredient and the incantation for the charm would need to be appropriate. He could not think of a single ingredient off the top of his head.

He had already determined the appropriate substitute for Griffin feathers. Perhaps he would throw her a bone and share that tidbit of information. Then again, perhaps not. He was not as familiar with Thunder God Vine as it originated from Chinese medicine, but if its primary role was to calm the immune system, then the presented options were viable. Lastly, her idea of garden slug mucus, leeches, or flobberworms to replace the Flesh Eating Slug mucus also had potential. He sat down at his desk to pen a reply.

Dear Healer Weasley,

Congratulations on determining an appropriate substitute for the powdered horn of bicorn. Perhaps you are not quite the dunderhead I first assumed. I wish to see the report from Ms. Jones as soon as you read it.

It appears you are finally utilizing your colleagues' talents to their full potential rather than doing inferior work for yourself. No doubt you will be further utilizing his talents for your calculations on the other ingredients you propose to replace. I would suggest first looking at Hippogriff feathers as a replacement for the Griffin feathers. I believe the correct amount is five feathers. I find they usually require anti-clockwise stirring.

It is somewhat pitiable that you cannot think of a replacement for the enchanted Belladonna. That is the single most expensive ingredient in the Wolfsbane potion and if you cannot find a replacement for it, you will never be able to make the potion affordable to the greater population. I am sure you have considered this. What is your research plan for this particular ingredient? Do you have an expert on Herbology and Charms at your disposal or are you going to attempt to figure it out on your own?

I await your speedy reply,

Jack Hier

He sent his reply off with the owl that continued to wait in the tree outside the kitchen window. Though it was not exceptionally late yet, he found himself oddly exhausted. He made his round about the house, making sure the doors and windows were locked. With a wave of his wand, the candles were snuffed and his light spell was dimmed. He made his way down to his bedroom, changing into his night shirt and climbing into bed. With a whispered "nox," all light was gone.

It took him a while to fall asleep, his mind reeling at his earlier conversation with Minerva. Perhaps she was right about some things. Perhaps it was time to forgive himself for the role he had been forced to play. The last thought he had before falling asleep, though, was not about his conversation with Minerva. Rather, it was about Hermione Weasley and his hope that she did not find a Potions master any time soon.

So I am posting this on a Friday because I am thinking ahead about the fact that I will be busy tomorrow. I get married in three weeks! Ahh! In other news, I am recovering from bronchitis that struck suddenly and fiercely and put me out of work for a day and a half. Fortunately, the doctor gave me half the pharmacy so I am feeling better and dug out some writing time when I wasn't busy sleeping and watching netflix.

And because I'm a terrible tease, a preview from chapter twelve:

And that was when her heart stopped.

Her eyes stuck to the word "dunderheaded" in the very first paragraph and she knew exactly whose handwriting she had been looking at: Severus Snape.