I'm sorry - that's all I'm gonna say

Lu xxx

The wind was fully howling outside the window, slamming into it and shaking the triple glazing. The rain was also lashing down in icy sheets, making it impossible to see the New York skyline. It was early evening, the light beginning to fade from the sky, and Alec and Magnus were standing in Izzy's private room, Will clutching to Magnus and Max to Alec. They were all soaked through from the rain, and shaking from the cold, Alec more than the others. He de-latched himself from Magnus and Max, who humphed but didn't make any complaint, and moved to sit next to Izzy's bed. She looked very peaceful. The blue veins on her eyelids were very prominent; the paleness of her skin was whiter than paper and her lips were very cracked. They barely moved as she breathed – the only thing that indicated that she was still was the machine attached to her.

Alec placed a red rose between his sister's hands, which were clasped on her chest, and then drew back and sat down in the chair next to her.

"You look like Snow White now." He smiled weakly at her. "Remember when we were kids and used to watch it on video, and you said you'd be a princess like her one day? That you'd find a prince to sweep you off of your feet, that would make you feel like the most important person to ever exist? You found your prince, didn't you? We've both been so lucky. I just wish that Simon's kiss would wake you up."

Izzy breathed a little deeper, but that was it. Nothing else. Alec closed his eyes.

"Iz, I'm pretty sure you can't hear me. But I still need to say these things just one more time. I'm sorry that I've had to make this decision. But it's standard procedure after three weeks. You have to understand, if there was any other option I would take it. But there isn't. And I know the doctors say that you will still have a couple of days after they switch you off, but… but I think this is going to be the last time I see you, because I can't bear to see you like this, with the wires stopping the worst of it. So I think it would kill me, too.

I want you to know Iz, you were the perfect sister. Even if you didn't realise it. All those nights, the ones where you would make sure I had disinfectant and bandages just in case, the times you would call when I was living with Magnus, you thought you were pestering, being nosy – you weren't. You were perfect. You were just what I needed. And I really wish that I had told you that at the time. But I didn't. So I'm saying it now.

And when I left New York, when I flew thousands of miles from you, you and Jace, despite everything, you were there beside me every second. Every second. I never forgot any of you, at all, and I think that was why I decided to go for the job here, because I knew I couldn't bear to be away from you any longer. Iz, I'm so sorry I left you too. But I never really did, and I hope you know that. I hope you know that I was by you every second as well. You may think I missed all those important things, but I promise you, I've always been here."

Tears had begun to steadily fall down his face, and he had to hold back tears. His words began to crack as he looked at her lips parting to let her breath. The light had completely left the sky outside.

"Iz, there's just one more thing I think you should know before… before you… before you leave. Me and Magnus… me and Magnus… we're getting married."

The evening was lit by the moon up high in the sky, casting its luminance through the thin layer of clouds, the stars shining brightly. Alec and Magnus were sat by a pond in the park, just talking about things, this and that, the pointless stuff that matters more than anything else in the world at the time. Eventually, these things ran dry, and they just sat there in each others company, sharing the silence.

Alec's heart was beating fast in his chest, the blood pumping so hard that he was surprised Magnus didn't hear it too. He grabbed the other man's hands, and he looked up startled into Alec's eyes.

"Alec…"

Alec took a deep breath and stared right into Magnus's eyes.

"Can you remember the day you nearly married Camille?"

Magnus sighed and looked away.

"I thought we agrred not to talk about this, it's one of my worst memories…"

"What if I could make it the best?"

Magnus's eyebrow raised slowly.

"Okay, Alec, you know those little pills in your dresser aren't cand, don't you?"

"I'm not on drugs, Magnus, I'm serious."

He looked sceptical. The eyebrow stayed raised.

"Go on."

"Well, I…I was kind of in a bush…"

"So I wasn't going mad."

Magnus looked away as he said it, more to himself than anything else.

"Yes, but anyway, you lost something that day, and I found it, and now I want to give it back."

"You can give me back my dignity or the last eight years?"

"No. I want you…this."

And he drew out of his pocket the silver ring, the diamond still sparkling as if it was knew. Magnus's mouth fell open just a little bit.

"I know for a fact that when you gave this to Camille, it meant nothing. But it means everything this time. Magnus Bane, will you do me the honour of becoming my husband?"

Magnus nodded, shoving the ring onto his finger, tears streaming down his face, and then he flopped onto Alec, and they just sat there, embracing, and laugh-crying with each other.

Magnus wove his fingers with Alec's.

"It's time to go, Alec."

He stood trembling, his face stained with the tears, and leant down, kissing Izzy on the forehead one last time. She sighed, but her eyes stayed deadly still. He drew back, his knuckles white with amount he was clenching Magnus's hand.

"Good…goodbye…Iz. See you later, yeah? I love you."

He stumbled out of the room, blindly letting Magnus half drag him out, and then as soon as the door closed there was nothing that could stop him from collapsing against the wall in a fit of tears.