Chapter 5: Jude's Secret.
Disclaimer: For the 25th time, I do not own the Fosters. Also warning for talk of disturbing topics in this chapter. You have been warned.
AN: We're only five chapters in to then new story, and I'm already running out of new ideas. If anybody reading has an idea they could let me use, leave it in a review or send it to me in a message.
This chapter is the longest one I've ever written as of yet, and skips ahead a week to the weekend, and features a summary of the week's events and background on a few new characters.
I also decided to give you another reason to hate Liam (and maybe a reason to hate me after you read it), as well as put in something that will explain why there will be no smut in this story. I've become known to throw in really shocking twists in my stories, but never one this bad before. So I would like to ask ahead of time that no flames be left in the reviews.
Also, kudos to anybody who catches the small reference to Sherlock Holmes in this chapter. Anyway, PLEASE REVIEW!
Connor's POV:
The end of my first week at Anchor Beach post coming out had finally arrived and I was on my way to Jude's to spend the night for the first time since I got shot. The week had turned out to be eventful and full of change. Jude and I planned our first date for Sunday (tomorrow). Our group had swelled, and people had jokingly taken to calling us "The Mafia", something that I find pleasing, and Jude finds laughable. The other players on my baseball team came up to wish us luck throughout the week. The day after Ritchie and Wynston joined our group, on Tuesday, two other people joined us. One of them was gay and one of them was straight.
The first was a football player on the Junior Varsity squad, named Colin Morgan. He was a year above us and acted like a typical jock. He stopped dead in his tracks by our table after seeing Jude and I kiss, and made a beeline for us. He congratulated us on being brave enough to be open about our relationship. We found out that his older brother was the victim of a hate crime that he barely survived, and he offered us his help if we ever needed backup of the physical variety. We accepted.
The second was a guy who was in the drama club, named Austin Beverly. Also in the year above us, he is probably the most flamboyant guy I have ever met. Wears some pretty ostentatious outfits just for the hell of it. He is incredibly silly. I've taken to calling him Joker because he's always cracking jokes of the inappropriate variety. Also, he enjoys engaging in boy talk with Daria and Taylor like nobody else I've ever met.
He and Colin have been best friends since they were little kids, since their moms were best friends. They grew up together, and as a result they were really close. On the first day they sat with us, Austin made several filthy jokes at lunch that made Jude squirm in discomfort, made Jax nearly choke on his roast beef sandwich, and made Colin snort milk up his nose before cackling exuberantly. Jude turns red and squints a little bit if he's uncomfortable. Then he rolls his eyes and shakes it off.
He's cute when he's uncomfortable.
Also, Jax asked Daria out on a date on Tuesday morning. She accepted after thinking about it until lunch. From what Jax was saying the next day, it went very well. He took her out to see a movie and then they went to dinner. They make out at every possible opportunity, as well. It's kind of irritating, but I'm also kind of glad that Daria has moved on from me without holding a grudge. She found somebody who could love her properly, and it really seemed as though Jax was as smitten with Daria as I was with Jude, which is a feat in itself. If I had a dollar for every time I've heard somebody say that Jude has me whipped, I'd probably be rich... no matter how true it probably is.
Taylor and Castor had started dating. It wasn't nearly as showy as Daria and Jax's relationship. They didn't spend their lunch period making out, they spent it making snarky comments about Daria and Jax making out. Their first date was Thursday afternoon, and they went paintballing. Apparently Taylor is ridiculously good at it. She spent the day destroying everybody that challenged her. Afterwards they went home and spent a couple of hours talking, getting to know each other better.
Alex and Carson were still single, but they didn't really seem to want relationships at the moment. They see perfectly content to sit by and watch the other happy couples mingle, while they make snarky comments about needing to get a room, or their impending need to visit a dentist to fix the cavities undoubtedly caused by the pure sugariness of our relationships. The idiots even labeled mine and Jude's relationship as "Jonnor", a name made by putting together our first names. I roll my eyes every time it's said aloud, which is a lot, since the whole school uses it, much to my annoyance. Jude likes it though, so I bear it.
Ritchie and Wynston were kind of shy at first, but once we got them to open up we learned a lot about them. We asked them how and when they had started dating, and we all learned that their evolution to boyfriends was once a nearly laughable thought.
Apparently on the first day of preschool, they had gotten into a fight because Wynston had spilled a small pot of finger paint into Ritchie's lap. Ritchie proceeded to tackle Wynston. They became archrivals. According to Ritchie, they "engaged in fisticuffs" (his exact words) at almost every available opportunity from preschool to the last couple of days of sixth grade. They constantly strove to outdo each other in grades and everything the other did.
Basically, nobody hated each other more than Richard "Ritchie" Holmes, and Wynston John Adler.
Then, they landed themselves in detention for the last week of sixth grade. The first day, they sat in opposite corners of the room, glaring at each other. The second day, they got tired of the silence and started talking to each other from across the room to relieve the boredom. The third day, they sat next to each other and talked the whole time. The fourth day was much the same, and they realized that not only could they get along, they also had a ton of stuff in common. On the fifth and final day, they decided that they were gonna try and be friends.
They spent the whole summer hanging out, and over the course of their hangouts, they became inseparable. They confided in each other about their suspected sexual orientations. They became as close as two boys could get, and on the first day of seventh grade, they entered the school, tossing jokes back and forth, laughing uproariously at each one.
Jude and I asked Lena if she remembered any of this, and she said she was the one who sat in to supervise the detentions. She also said that when they walked into school at the beginning of the year, she had nearly fainted from the shock at seeing them acting so chummy with each other.
They told us that they had gotten together on Ritchie's fourteenth birthday, May 23rd. Wynston had realized a month before that that he had feelings for his best friend that weren't platonic. He spent the night that night and confessed his feelings to Ritchie, nearly bursting into tears in the process. Ritchie hugged him tight and told him that the feelings were mutual. They had been dating for about a month, but only had the courage to come out into the open with it when they saw Jude and I knock Jeremy on his ass on Monday.
I smile to myself as I think of how many friends I have gained, and I snap out of my musings as we pull up to Jude's place.
I turn to dad.
"I'll see you tomorrow." I said him.
He nods.
"Yeah." Adam said, "I'll be driving you and Jude on your date, and we'll be here for dinner tomorrow too. Tomorrow's father's day, so Stef and Lena invited me to dinner tomorrow night."
"Oh." I said, shocked, "Jude said they invited you. I figured you would have said no."
"I told you I would try harder." He said, "Besides, Jude's been over every day this week after school, and I have to admit, he's not... the MOST unpleasant company to have around."
I stare at him in open shock.
"Has hell frozen over?" I deadpan.
He snorts.
"Maybe, kid. Maybe." He mumbled.
"I'm glad." I said, "I'm glad you're trying harder. These last few days are the best we've gotten along in months. It's starting to be like it used to, even if you get a little awkward when Jude is around."
"You're my son." He said, "Lena was right. You being g-g-gay shouldn't change that."
Again I stare at him in shock. That was the first time he has ever acknowledged my sexual orientation aloud in front of me.
"Okay, now I KNOW hell has frozen over."
He reaches over and tousles my hair.
"Get going brat."
"Yes, sir!" I salute to him jokingly as I get out of the truck. I get my bag out of the back seat and close the door, stepping away from the truck.
I turn around to watch him drive away, honking his horn once in goodbye. I wave once, smile to myself, and turn to walk up the pathway to the front door. I knock on the door three times, and Lena quickly answers it. I quickly notice that hard rock music is blaring from upstairs. I furrow my eyebrows in question, which Lena quickly picks up on.
"Brandon and Jesus got Jude hooked on Guns N' Roses." She explains exasperatedly, "They've been blaring that crap for three hours, sitting up there playing poker on the floor of Jude and Jesus's room. The only silence we've gotten today is the short pause in between switching the albums."
I shake my head fondly. If Jesus and Brandon were betting real money, Jude would probably have cleaned them out by now. I had taught him how to play Texas Hold 'Em about a week after we first became friends, and it turned out he was really good at it. On the one occasion he played against me and my dad, he bankrupted us both. Since then I taught him to play five card stud, which he also excelled at.
"The music may be partially my fault. Thursday, when we went shopping with my mom, I made the mistake of taking Jude into a music store." I tell her, "He spent his whole allowance on copies of all of GN'R's albums, plus a couple by Aerosmith and AC/DC."
"Why Aerosmith and AC/DC?" She asked.
"He heard Walk This Way and You Shook Me All Night Long on the radio and decided that he just had to have the albums they come from."
"Great." She said, "At least Mariana and Callie managed to resist the pull."
"Why? You don't like rock and roll?" I asked her jokingly.
"I grew up listening to the stuff they're blasting. I've listened to those songs so many times, I got burnt out on them."
"Oh, yeah that makes sense." I concede. "The poker is completely my fault, though. I taught him how to play when we first became friends. Turns out he's a shark."
Lena snorted.
"Yeah, he is." She agrees, "Every few minutes, you'll hear somebody swear. That means Jude wins again. Brandon and Jesus are really competitive, so they don't know when to quit. Anyway head on up. Jude's been anxious for you to get here."
She didn't have to tell me twice, and I bolted up the stairs as fast as my thrice be damned foot would allow me. The door was open, and I could so Jude with his back turned to me, sitting beside his bed. I could see a mountain of poker chips sitting in front of him. Brandon and Jesus sat facing me and saw me coming. I held my finger to my lips, indicating for them not to say anything. I got down on my knees and kneeled right behind Jude. I lunged forward and wrapped my arms around him, hugging him from behind. He let out a started yelp and flailed for a second before turning his head to see that it was me. A grin stretched across his face, and he turned in my arms and wrapped his arms around me, knocking me backwards onto my back. He kissed me for a couple of seconds before Jesus cleared his throat.
He pulled away, a small blush adorning his face.
I placed a kiss on his nose, making him blush even more.
"Did ya miss me?" I ask him in a teasing tone
"Could have done without the heart attack, to be perfectly honest," He responded in the same tone, "But yeah, I missed you. Even though we saw each other yesterday."
We sit up and I wrap my arm around his shoulder. Brandon got up and turned the music down, as I took a look at the monstrous stack of chips that Jude had amassed, compared to the tiny stacks of chips that Jesus and Brandon had managed to cling to.
"I probably should have warned you guys that he's a shark when it comes to poker." I said apologetically, "Or any other card game for that matter. The only card game I've been able to beat him at is Go-Fish."
"Yeah, that would have been nice to know earlier." Jesus grumbled.
"Just be glad you don't play for money like my dad did when we played against him a few months ago." I told them, "Jude cleaned him out of every penny he had. Jude would have had a couple hundred bucks if he hadn't given it back afterwards."
Brandon snorted.
"I'm so taking you to Vegas when you turn eighteen."
Jesus let out a bark of laughter.
"Dios mio. I can see it now." He said, laughing, "Jude sitting at a poker table with ten grand worth of chips in front of him. He'd probably give the casino owners a heart attack."
"That sounds like fun actually." Jude said, jumping in on their train of thought, "It'd be a nightmare convincing moms though."
"That is true." Brandon agreed, "Anyway, we are gonna leave you two lovebirds alone, don't do anything X-Rated."
Jude made sure to stick his foot in Brandon's walking path as he and Jesus exited the room, causing him to stumble. He wasn't blushing, though. Actually, he looked a bit pale at the thought of doing anything like that, and then he started to look a little green.
Oh god. That can't be good. He only does that when something connected to his past comes up.
"What's wrong, Jude?" I ask, "You look pale."
'They've been making jokes like that all day." Jude grumbled, "It's getting on my nerves. I'm not ready for anything beyond kissing, and I won't be for a long time. No matter how many times I say that, they won't stop."
"You look like you just saw a ghost." I deadpan, "Tell me what's the matter. I might be able to help."
He sat there for a second before sighing and turning to me.
"It's a long story. It's from when I was in the foster system before I got to Stef and Lena."
"You can tell me anything, you know." I assure him, "You're my boyfriend. If something is bothering you, you can tell me."
"I don't want to unload all that on you." He answers.
"Why? You afraid it'll scare me away or something?"
He answers me with nothing but deafening silence. I sigh and wrap him in a hug.
"Jude. You are my boyfriend. Nothing you could do would scare me away. You could kill somebody, and I would go on the news and tell everybody you didn't do it... even after I help you hide the body."
He snorted, and the corner of his mouth quirked.
"Fine," He said, "I'll tell you. I'll be right back."
He got up and walked to the door and went downstairs, returning a minute later, shutting the door behind him.
"I had to ask the moms for permission to shut the door," He explained, "So that we don't get disturbed while I explain this."
"Okay." I said, nodding for him to start talking.
"And try not to interrupt me, okay?" He asks, and I nod in agreement. "This is gonna take a while. How much have I told you about my time in the foster system? Because one of the things I'm about to tell you, I've never told anybody. Not even Callie."
"Uh. Not much. Just that you went into the system when you were six, and it was not pleasant." I answer him.
He took a deep breath and started talking.
"When I was six years old, my mom and dad want out on a date night, leaving Callie and I at home with a babysitter. They said they would be home by the time we went to be. Callie and I's bedtime was ten o'clock. We always waited up for them. Ten o'clock came and went, and still no mom and dad. At about three o'clock in the morning, we get a knock on the door. The babysitter answers it. It's this guy in a suit, escorted by a couple of policemen. He was a social worker. Bill was his name. He is the sole reason why Callie and I were never separated, and I will be forever grateful to him for that..."
He paused to draw a breath before he continued.
"He explained to the babysitter what had happened, completely unaware of us eavesdropping. My dad, Donald, was drunk and tried to drive them home. Ended up passing out at the wheel, drifting into another lane and crashing into another car. My mother was killed instantly, and the driver of the other car died at the scene. Dad was taken straight to jail, and they took Callie and I straight to a Foster home. They were nice, but we only stayed there for about a month. We moved around a lot in the first few years. Some good homes, a lot of terrible ones. We both ended up in the hospital for malnutrition and injuries a couple of times. Eventually we arrived at the Olmsteads. The parent's had a son named Liam. He's in jail now."
Jude shuddered violently.
"They all seemed nice, but I never trusted Liam. He and Callie grew close, and they eventually started a relationship, despite the age difference and the fact he was our foster brother. We stayed there for two years, and he always acted weird around me. One night, he snuck into Callie's room and tried to convince her to have sex with him. She pleaded with him not to, because she wasn't ready. He forced her. He... he raped her. Then he claimed she came onto him and we were thrown out."
Both of my fists clenched in anger. Jude took a shuddering breath and continued.
"Three days before he raped Callie... he came into MY room while I was sleeping, and..."
My breath caught in my throat and tears leapt to my eyes as Jude spluttered to a halt, his eyes slightly glazed over.
"No." I whispered brokenly, "He didn't..."
Jude stared ahead blankly.
"Please god, tell me he didn't..."
I waited for his answer.
I hoped, and I prayed to God that he wasn't about to say what I feared he was about to say.
His answer confirmed my worst fears.
"Yeah. He did."
My mind went blank.
The first thing I felt was disbelief. Then I felt sadness, grief, and anguish. Then I felt horror. All those feelings coursed through me during my five second silence, before melting and giving way to something new. Something I had never felt before in my entire life.
Rage. Pure, murderous rage.
I leapt to my feet, whirled around and placed a overpowered punch into the side of the dresser.
"THAT MOTHER FUCKER!" I punctuated every word with another punch.
"CONNOR!" Jude screamed, leaping to his feet and grabbing me.
I turn back to him, and look into his haunted eyes. He's crying softly, and my rage melts in an instant. I pull him into a hug. I held him tight, and I start sobbing into his shoulder.
It's not fucking fair. Jude is the nicest person I know. He doesn't deserve that. How could somebody be so cruel, to do that to somebody as sweet and innocent as Jude? He's been through more in his short thirteen years of life than most adults ever even have to think about going through.
"This Liam guy better hope to God that he never comes face to face with me," I choke through my sobs, "Because if he does, I'm gonna fucking kill him."
"Calm down Connor. This was a long time ago." Jude said, trying to calm me down.
He sounds so calm. After about ten minutes, my sobs calm and my crying ceases.
"How are you so calm about this?" I ask him, my voice hoarse from crying, "He RAPED you Jude."
"And I've had years to get over it." Jude answers, "I hated him for it. I still DO hate him for it. I was just a kid. That bastard is gonna rot in hell for what he did to me and Callie. I wanted him dead for a long time, but I realized that dwelling on it wasn't going to do me any good. It happened. I accepted it and I moved on. I got my closure when they sent him to jail a couple of weeks ago."
"You're a better man than I am." I said to him, "I would have waited till he was asleep the next day and then lit him on fucking FIRE!"
"Connor!" He rebuked, "Keep your voice down, dammit."
"Sorry." I said sheepishly, "I can't help it. I'm pissed. I can't believe you had to go through that."
"It's fine." Jude said, turning around and opening the door.
"It does explain why you can't stand the thought of sex, though."
"I'm sorry."
"Why are you sorry?"
"Well... it means that when the time comes," Jude explains, "And YOU are ready... I don't know if I will be."
"I don't care about that!" I assure him urgently, "I won't be ready for sex for a long time either. We're thirteen, and I've only been out of the closet for ten days, so sex is the last thing EITHER of us should be thinking about. As long as I can still hug you, and as long as I can still give you kisses, I couldn't care less."
We fell into a comfortable silence, sitting next to each other. I stared at my hands, still shocked and a little depressed at what I had just learned. I also couldn't believe nobody came up to check on us after I swore so loud.
"Connor?"
"Yeah?"
"I... I love you, Connor."
My head shot up to meet his gaze.
"What... what did you just say?" I stuttered, hoping I hadn't misheard him.
"I said... I said I love you."
I couldn't stop the grin from splitting my face as I wrapped him in a hug. I couldn't stop myself from laughing.
"I love you too, JJ." I whisper into his ear. I pull back and I give him a kiss. He responds immediately. It's slow, and sweet.
We spend the next few hours before we go to bed talking, kissing, listening to Guns N' Roses, listening to Jude try to imitate Axl Rose while listening to Guns N' Roses, kissing some more, then shutting the music off and playing Star Wars Commander together. We ended up falling asleep together on the floor, wrapped in Jude's bed sheets.
Before I fell asleep, I made a promise to myself.
I would never let anybody hurt Jude like that again.
Anybody who tried to hurt him, would be sorry they were ever conceived.
AN #2: Told you that the twist would be bad, even for me. I hated writing it to be perfectly honest.
On a lighter note, Ritchie and Wynston's story is partially based on the a friendship I once had when I was young. We ended up in in-school suspension and bonded over Yu-Gi-Oh cards.
The next two, three, maybe even four chapters will be up within the next day. I wrote two pages of notes for one chapter and only ended up using the first half of the first page, so I decided to split it up.