Requiem for the Living
By Jinxd n Cursed
Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction. I merely play in the world of J.K. Rowling; she still owns the characters.
Rex tremendae majestatis,
qui salvandos savas gratis,
salve me, fons pietatis.
Chapter Twenty-One
Severus had had little cause in his life to spend time with children under the age of eleven, and up until this point in his life, he had preferred it that way. If there had been a way to avoid children until they reached the age of fourteen, he would have been a happy man.
Perhaps Hermione's children were the exception. Rosie could not be older than three and was burning with curiosity. She asked him constant questions. Ordinarily, he would have considered this an annoyance—Rosie's mother's constant questions certainly had—but he didn't mind them from the toddler. She was an innocent, totally free of the horrors of the war.
Well, perhaps not totally free. Her father, after all, had been killed by a leftover Death Eater. Rose Weasley was young enough that she would not remember what it was like to have a father. He wasn't willing to speculate about what kind of father Weasley had been. If the once-prolific Weasley and Prewett lines were any indication, there was some level of parenting aptitude present. He doubted that Weasley would show the same propensity to violence his own father had, though if he had inherited his mother's temper, he would be prone to fussing and carrying on when his children fell out of line. He would be nothing like that. He didn't yell; his anger was a quiet one and his children would know that he was disappointed without the need to yell.
Severus's heart stopped for a moment as he gathered his things together for the trip to Hermione's house in Hogsmeade. Was he really thinking about his own theoretical children? He snorted. That was highly unlikely to happen. He was forty-seven which was still fairly young for a wizard for whom it was commonplace to live past 120 years. The problem was not his age but rather his temperament. He had long since given up on finding a woman who would love him. He spent many years dedicated to a woman who would never love him, and once she was gone, he threw himself into his work. During the second war, he was unwilling to put another person at risk, even if there was a woman who could tolerate him. By now, he was thoroughly stuck in his ways and certainly would not be bending his routines and attitudes to accommodate another person.
As he laid on the floor of the Shrieking Shack, near death, Lily had visited him, along with James and Sirius.
"Hello Severus," she said, embracing him as she had always done when they were children. "You've done well."
"Lily," he breathed, stepping back to look at her. She was as beautiful as she had always been, her long red hair loose around her shoulders.
"You've done well," she said. "You've done more than anyone had a right to ask of you, and I'm so sorry for the part I played in it."
"I did it all for you," he said.
She shook her head. "I did nothing to deserve it. One comment in the heat of the moment, and I tossed you away. I am so sorry."
"I'm the one who is sorry," he said. "Please, Lily, I beg of you. Forgive me. Release me from all these years of enslavement to the debt I owed you."
"Severus, I forgive you. I forgave you a long time ago," she replied. She held his chin so she was looking directly into his eyes. "But any debt of mine is not what has kept you. You enslaved yourself."
"No, that is not possible," he said, sinking to his knees.
"It is," she said firmly. "You have spent the last twenty years dwelling on what you said as a fifteen year old boy. Don't you think it's time to move on? You need to live your life."
"I don't know how," he said.
She shook her head. "Yes you do. You will find a way. But before you do that, these idiots have a few things to say." She gestured at James and Sirius.
Severus straightened and regarded the two men warily. James spoke first.
"Thank you, first, for protecting Harry when we could not."
"I didn't do it for you," Severus snapped.
"Regardless, thank you," James continued. "But more importantly I think, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I was an idiot enough at eleven to make a snap judgment about you. I'm sorry for the years of teasing and pranks. It wasn't funny, it was abuse. I'm sorry for any part I played in sending you to Voldemort."
Severus swallowed, and nodded sharply, unable to respond with his head swimming.
"I'm sorry for sending you to Remus that night," Sirius began. "It was stupid. It never occurred to me until much later that it was actually dangerous. I was a prat. And I'm sorry for all that I antagonized you as an adult. We are on the same side."
Severus nodded once more, still unable to speak.
"There now," Lily said. "Boys, go away. I have a few more things to say to Severus before he leaves us."
Potter and Black nodded and walked away into the fog and Lily turned back to him, patting his arm. "They really do mean it," she told him. "They insisted on apologizing themselves instead of me carrying the message."
Severus nodded.
"Unfortunately, that's only half the work, dear Severus," she continued. "You need to forgive them as well."
He considered for a moment. They had all been foolish children. Perhaps it was time. No, not perhaps. It was time. "I do," he said finally.
"That is step one of the rest of your life," she said. "You'll wake up in a few moments with years ahead of you. Voldemort is gone but you are not. Live your life. Be happy."
"How can I be happy when you are not there?" he asked.
"You will find happiness," she said. "And though I can't tell you when, I can tell you that someday there will be someone you care for much more than me."
"That is not possible," he said.
"It is, dear friend, it is," she assured him. "Only a few minutes left before you wake up."
"Will you stay with me until then?" he asked.
"Of course," she replied, taking his hand.
Severus wasn't really sure if he had actually talked to Lily or if it had been some sort of dream. What happened after a wizard died or suffered a near death experience was still the great unknown. Never the less, he derived some comfort from it and had carved out as close to happiness as he could muster.
His life in the woods of Wales was quiet and isolated, but for his occasional ventures into the nearby villages and his visits from Minerva. Well, it was isolated until Hermione and her children invaded his life. Then his quiet peace was destroyed. In some ways, he longed for it back but mostly, he had no regrets.
With a sigh, he got up from his favorite arm chair in the study to get ready to leave for Hogsmeade. He had already gotten the silver cauldron from the basement, along with his knives. Much like a chef, a Potions Master was very particular about cutting tools. He doubted Hermione had anything up to snuff. When he was sure that he had gathered everything he needed, he apparated to Hermione's front step.
Her front door was purely Gryffindor. It was a brilliant scarlet with a brass knocker, knob, and kick plate. Smiling wryly, he gave the knocker a hard rap and waited. Almost instantly, he heard the scurrying of little feet followed by louder footsteps.
"Rosie," Hermione's muffled voice protested. "Mummy will get the door."
"Do by self!" The toddler exclaimed.
He couldn't hear Hermione's sigh but he could imagine it. When the door swung open, Rosie was perched on Hermione's hip, hands reaching feebly to the knob.
"Good evening Miss Rose," Severus said.
"Mr. Sevus!" The toddler exclaimed, reaching toward him with her chubby toddler arms.
He took a small hand and shook it but the child frowned.
"She wants a hug," Hermione explained, turning to her daughter. "Rosie, I don't know that Mr. Sevus wants a hug."
"But Mummy! Everybody wants hugs," Rose protested.
Severus was oddly touched by the young girl's desire to give him a hug so he set the cauldron on the floor of the foyer and reached toward Rosie. Rather than merely accepting a hug, however, Rosie practically launched herself into his arms. He stepped back to keep from falling over.
"Rosie," Hermione admonished. "You can't launch yourself at every person like you do to Uncle Harry."
"It is fine," Severus said.
A cry sounded from the next room. "And there's the baby," Hermione said with a huff. "Make yourself at home. I'll be right back." She turned and walked away through a doorway.
Severus followed, Rosie still clinging to his neck. He watched as Hermione picked up the crying baby, tucking his head into her neck and making shushing noises as she bounced him up and down. He calmed quickly but the moment Hermione tried to put him back down, he began fussing again.
"I'm afraid we will have two small observers," Hermione told him ruefully, as she bounced the baby.
He nodded. "Shall we begin then?"
"Yes. Feel free to put Rosie down. She's perfectly capable of walking herself down the steps," she said, turning to walk down the hall. Severus ignored her and balanced the toddler on his narrow hip while leaning down to pick up his cauldron.
Hermione led him through the kitchen and opened the door to the cellar. A small fenced area was set up in the corner and brimmed with toys.
"Rose," Hermione began, "Mr. Severus and I will be working on a potion. I've brought you down your favorite toys for you to play with while we work."
"Can't I watch?" Rosie protested.
"You may watch from here," Hermione replied, "but truly, my dear, you will be bored in five minutes or less."
Severus watched the girl's chin wobble and had the bizarre urge to kiss the child on the forehead. He resisted and set the child down within the confines of the play pen. Despite her apparent desire to watch, Rosie almost immediately grabbed a stuffed unicorn and a soft doll in a pink dress. He set the cauldron on one of the work tables.
"Would you mind holding Hugo for just a moment? I want to put him in the sling so I can at least have my hands free," Hermione requested.
He took the baby she thrust at him. As Hugo began to cry, he did what he'd seen Hermione do and held the baby to his chest, bouncing him up and down. Hermione was tying a length of purple cloth around her torso. She took the baby from his arms and tucked him into a loop of fabric so that he rested against her body.
"There now," she said with a small smile at him. "Shall we get on with it?"
"Indeed," he agreed. "Where do you store your ingredients?"
"In the cabinets on the wall," she told him. "I took the liberty of portioning out what we would need for tonight." She summoned a collection of jars from the cabinet and they came to rest on the table in front of him. He picked up a jar and regarded the lemongrass within, minced precisely and perfectly preserved. Apparently, she had not only portioned but prepared all the ingredients.
"Well then, we shall begin. How should I set my cauldron flame to begin?" he asked.
"Low, but hot," she said. "The flames should be bright blue."
He nodded, charming a burner to light and setting the silver cauldron on the base. "And how much water should I add to the cauldron?"
"None to begin," she said. "The fenugreek seeds need to warm in the dry cauldron first so they will release their oils."
"Very good," he replied, pouring the fenugreek seeds into the cauldron. "How many drops of spearmint oil?"
"None. You require peppermint oil. Two droppers full," she said.
They went on in much the same manner, as if she were still his student. He would ask a question about an ingredient or step in the process, often trying to trick her. Just as she had as a schoolgirl, she answered perfectly. Unlike her younger self, however, she was much less prone to offering way more information than he was actually asking for. It was surprisingly pleasant.
As Hermione had suggested, Rosie was quickly bored with watching them work and was playing with a toy Hippogriff, the unicorn and doll abandoned. Severus watched as she would wave her hand over the toy and make its wings flap or beak snap. Her power at such a young age was astounding.
"Any toxicity in the fumes at this stage of brewing should dissipate after another minute," Severus said, turning to Hermione, "if you would like to show Rosie."
Hermione nodded. She patted the head of Hugo in his bubble head charm. "Rosie is used to sitting here with me when I brew and loves to see the finished potions."
"I'll take the baby if you want to get her," he said.
Hermione smiled softly. "I never pictured you as a baby person."
"He is... tolerable. As is Rosie," he replied.
She rolled her eyes and carefully extracted Hugo from his sling, passing him over to Severus's arms. The baby looked at him with solemn brown eyes before breaking into a smile and grabbing onto his tee shirt. He shifted him to one arm so as to dislodge the tiny hand from his shirt and the child latched onto his finger instead. The baby continued to giggle as he tugged on his finger and flopped about with this other hand.
Hermione returned with Rosie, lifting her to stand on the stool and look at the bubbling cauldron. The red haired little girl oohed and ahed at the potion before asking her mother for a biscuit. Hermione shook her head before producing a tube of McVitie's from her pocket and giving two of the digestives to her daughter.
"Oh sorry," she said, turning back to him after helping Rosie to the ground. "I'll take the baby back then." As she reached for the child, her hands brushed against his arm and chest. His arms felt oddly cold at the absence of the child.
"As I recall," Hermione began, "the potion needs to simmer on a low flame for twenty-three hours which would mean that we will resume brewing at seven o'clock tomorrow."
"Indeed," he said with a nod.
"I cannot claim to be as good of a cook as Molly, or even as you, but I do make a decent prawn curry if you'd like to join us for supper," Hermione offered as she bounced her son.
"That would be... tolerable," he agreed. "When should I arrive?"
"Six or so if you don't mind," she answered. "But for now, I need to get Rosie her bath. We're running behind schedule, I'm afraid."
"So you have inconvenienced both of us in your insistence that I brew the potion in your presence," he sneered, not really meaning the bite in his voice.
She smiled wryly. "I suppose I have. You can apparate directly from here if you wish."
He nodded. "I will bid you good night then."
"Good night Severus. I will see you tomorrow for dinner," she replied.
"Good night Mr. Sevus!" Rosie chimed in.
The next evening, he arrived at five of six on Hermione's front step and rang the bell. "Come in, we're in the kitchen!" he heard a voice call through the thick wood door.
He obliged and arrived in the kitchen to the picture of domesticity: baby Hugo sat in a booster seat at the kitchen table with a tray full of blocks as Hermione held Rosie up, allowing her to sprinkle something in the hot pan of curry on the hob.
Clearing his throat, he said, "Good evening."
"Mr. Sevus!" Rosie called, jumping from Hermione's arms to launch herself at his legs. He set the bottle of wine on the counter before allowing her to crawl up his slender form to cling to his chest.
"Rosie!" Hermione admonished, before smiling at him. "Good evening, Severus. I hope you like your curry hot. Rosie insisted on extra spicy tonight."
"I prefer my curry as spicy as possible," he informed her.
"So we have something in common for once," Hermione answered. "Rosie, what did I say about launching yourself at others?"
The toddler frowned, her lower lip sticking out. "But Mummy!" she protested.
"But Mummy nothing," Hermione said. "Apologize to Mr. Snape."
"I'm sorry Mr. Sevus," Rosie said dutifully.
"There is nothing to be sorry for, Miss Rose," he replied. "But, I would like my arms back." He set her on her feet and she hopped up in a chair beside her brother and began stacking a pile of blocks of her own.
"I'm afraid I did not have time to chop all of today's ingredients," she told him as she stirred the curry. "I was a bit late getting home from Molly's. Rosie mentioned Mr. Sevus today."
"And how did you explain?" he snarled.
"Don't get angry, Severus Snape. Rosie is a child. She isn't even three yet and didn't know she had anything to hide," Hermione snapped. "I knew it would happen eventually and had already planned a response. As far as Molly is concerned, you are a stove repairman."
"A stove repairman?" he questioned.
"Well, what other excuse would I have for allowing a man into my house on a regular basis?" she asked. "Unless you'd rather I tell her you are my lover, not even a year since her son passed."
"I supposed you are right," he conceded. "Don't you think Molly which think something is amiss if you constantly have a stove repairman at your home?"
She shook her head. "Molly has a deep distrust of muggle appliances," Hermione told him. "And no knowledge of their repair and upkeep. To her, it is entirely within the realm of possibilities that it could take three evenings to repair the stove."
"Arthur is a supposed expert in muggle artifacts," Severus replied.
Hermione snorted. "You should see what the supposed expert did to the blender I gave him."
"Dare I inquire?" he asked.
Hermione smirked. "You may."
"Well then, what did he do to the poor device?"
"He took it apart, to start off, and then enchanted the motor," he said. "Problem was he missed a few parts and somehow the blender became a magnet for cutlery with the tendency to turn on and off randomly. It would have been destroyed in a few minutes if Arthur had not enchanted the blades to always remain sharp. It pulverized all of Molly's silverware into dust before she incinerated it."
He laughed. "And what else did Molly say to that?"
"I've never seen her turn so many shades of purple," she replied, grinning at the memory. "And that is saying something."
"Indeed it is," he replied.
Hermione took the lid off the pot of rice and gave it a quick stir. "I believe dinner is ready." She began spooning rice onto plates, topping it with the fragrant curry. He took a plate from her and brought it over to the table as she brought overs hers and Rosie's plates.
"I brought a bottle of wine," he said, "A dry Pinot Grigio."
"Then we shall have to have it with dinner," she said with a smile, summoning the bottle and two glasses.
This perfectly domestic dinner scene was repeated the following evening with a plate of spaghetti bolognese and a fine Cabernet Sauvignon that Severus picked up at a wine shop in London that afternoon. He had finished the brew that evening. If he had been left to his own devices, it would have been done that morning as the changes in the formula had reduced the brewing time down to thirty-six hours but Hermione had placed a stasis on the potion so they could continue in the evening.
Wednesday marked the first night of transformation. Severus could not be present for obvious reasons, though he had briefly considered the merits of Polyjuice potion. As he sat down at his own kitchen table to his own pork pie, he felt a pang of loneliness, his thoughts drifting to Hermione, her children, and their evening brewing sessions from the past week. It wouldn't occur to him until later that what he really missed was the company, and not his inability to see their work come to fruition.
Author's Notes:
D'awww... Severus and the children. Who would have thought? Well, me, I guess.
I've been working pretty heavily on getting an official outline built for all future chapters. I had already done a rough outline but then Severus and Hermione decided that they needed this chapter and the next chapter that were not on the original outline. How rude of them...
I am beta-less currently so feel free to point out any mistakes for me to correct and if anyone wants to volunteer I'd be a happy little author. This was supposed to go up this weekend but, well, it didn't.
Time Line:
1998- May 2nd – The Battle of Hogwarts. Minerva spirits Severus away from
1998- May 4th – Hermione locates Parvati and later burns down the Shrieking Shack
2002- Summer – Hermione and Ron get married. Harry and Ginny also get marriend in this general time period
2005- September 18th – Ron is hit by Mulciber's curse that slowly turns his lungs to stone.
2005- October 19th – Rose is born.
2007- May 10th – Hermione tells Ron she is pregnant and he passes in his sleep.
2007- December 23rd – Hugo is born.
2008- March 3rd – Hermione's interview is published in the Daily Prophet
2008- March 4th– Hermione sends the first letter to Severus
2008- March 8th – Hermione drops in on Severus
2008- March 15th – Severus comes to Hermione's house to work
2008- March 22nd – Hermione and the children come to Severus's cottage to work.
2008- March 23rd – March 25th – Severus and Hermione brew the modified potion
2008- March 27th – The full moon comes (about a week late from the actual 2008 calendar but whatever)