Chapter 29: First Kiss
Darcy didn't say anything more to her. He waited until he heard the door click shut then he turned back around toward the window. He clenched his jaw shut and tried not to think about Elizabeth and Richard, who he assumed were probably out dancing at that very moment. He wanted nothing more than to go upstairs and turn in for the night but he couldn't risk Elizabeth see him leaving his study after he just told her he had work to finish. He decided to use his time and write an email to Georgiana. He walked over and sat down at his desk and began typing, but after twenty minutes the only sentence he completed was, "Hello Georgiana how are things going there?" he took in a deep breath and sighed heavily, then he erased the words he had typed. He couldn't even get his mind off Elizabeth long enough to write his sister an email. He glanced over at the clock again. Thankfully it was getting later, and he was sure that the party would be ending soon. His aunt didn't like late nights. She would be sure to have all her guest out the door no later than eleven o'clock, and it was now ten-thirty. His thoughts returned to Elizabeth, and how completely incredible she looked in that red dress. The red dress he was sure Richard was probably admiring at that very moment. He closed his eyes and forced himself to think about something else, but every thought he had brought him back to her. He was just about to give up in frustration when he heard the door open, he looked up and saw Richard standing there.
Richard drew in a deep breath and shook his head. "Well, cousin the party is over you can stop hiding in here."
"I wasn't hiding in here. I had work to do," Darcy told him.
Richard didn't believe him. "Really, you had work to do?" he asked him sarcastically. "Tell me what work was so vital that you would treat Elizabeth so rudely?" he asked him.
Darcy's head shot up at the mention of her name. "I wasn't rude to Elizabeth at least it wasn't my intention to be," he told him.
Richard took in a deep breath, "Well whether it was your intention or not, I do think her feelings were hurt. Not to mention the embarrassment she had to endure after Aunt Catherine made it known you wanted to see her in front of Collins and her friend Charlotte."
"I'm sorry for that as well. I didn't ask Aunt Catherine to say anything to Elizabeth, but you know as well as I do she takes it upon herself to do as she likes," Darcy told him.
"That's an excuse, and you know it," he said to him. "You still owe Elizabeth an apology for the way you treated her," he snapped at him before leaving the room.
Darcy sighed, Richard coming in to confront him for his perceived rudeness to Elizabeth was more proof that his cousin was in love with her. He waited awhile longer then he made his way upstairs to get some rest. Once in bed, he closed his eyes and tried to sleep, but each time he did, he imagined Richard and Elizabeth together in the moonlight dancing, and he grew more irritated. When he finally did drift off to sleep, he dreamed that Richard and Elizabeth planned to run off together, to elope and marry in secret before anyone could object to the marriage. He was so tormented by his jealousy that he woke up early the next morning, skipped his breakfast and sat down in his study to compose a note to Miss Bennet. He wanted to know exactly what her feelings were for his cousin and what happened last night between them while they were alone in the moonlit gardens.
Elizabeth finished her breakfast with Charlotte and was just about to go upstairs when Collins came running in. "Elizabeth, I have a note for you," he said as he handed it to her. He stopped as he tried to catch his breath.
Charlotte quickly got up and gave him a glass of water. "Did you run the entire way?"
"Yes, Mr. Darcy was very adamant that I make sure Elizabeth got this message right away." he told her as he drank the water and caught his breath.
Elizabeth opened the note and read it over,
Miss Bennet,
Something has come up that I must speak with you about. I will be waiting in the study I use as my office and would appreciate you coming at once to see me.
Thank you
F Darcy
She tucked it away in her pocket and smiled, "It seems that Mr. Darcy would like to speak with me," she told Charlotte.
"Well, then we must hurry back. I'm sure Mr. Darcy is waiting," Collins told her. "Perhaps it has something to do with what Lady Catherine spoke about last night."
Elizabeth smiled, "Yes, it may have something to do with that," she agreed.
Collins waited for her to come. "Then we should be on our way to see him," he told her. When she made no move to go with him, he said, "Elizabeth, he's probably waiting for us even now," he told her again.
"Yes, he probably is waiting," Elizabeth told him as she got up and walked over toward the stairs.
Collins shook his head in confusion, "Where are you going?"
Elizabeth turned to look at him. "I'm going up to my room. I have some emails I need to finish writing."
Collins took out his handkerchief and wiped his brow. "Elizabeth, I don't think you realize, he's waiting in the study to talk with you..."
Elizabeth couldn't hold back this time. She laughed, "Yes I know he is and I'm going up to my room to work on some email," she told Collins as she climbed the stairs. She went into her room and closed the door. "Who does Darcy think he is sending a note like that," she mumbled. Elizabeth thought about the party and the way Darcy behaved. Things started out so well, but by the end of the night, he seemed different toward her. He was agitated and aloof. She wondered if it was the party itself that changed his mood or some of the gossip she had overheard. It wasn't as if she eavesdropped on people on purpose. It was clear that there were some who thought very highly of themselves and that she was beneath them. Of course, Lady Catherine did her best to make everyone think that Elizabeth was her own personal pet project. The way people were talking to her and treating her, it was clear that Lady Catherine told them she was a poor relation to her lawyer just struggling to get her life on track. Lady Catherine played herself up to be the savior who came to Elizabeth's rescue. Elizabeth sighed, it took every ounce of patience she had not to correct people's misunderstanding of who she really was, but in the end, she decided against it. What did it matter what they thought of her, she probably would never see any of them ever again anyway?
She pulled out the note and reread it again. Why would Darcy be writing her and why would he be ordering her to come speak with him as if he held power over her to do so? She hated that he behaved like that. If he had simply asked to speak to her, she would have gone. Elizabeth got up and went to her bedroom window; she looked out toward the main house. If Lady Catherine spoke to him about her then perhaps he regretted using her pictures, after all. Seeing the way people from his circle of society reacted to her may have been enough to cause him to change his mind. That would account for his mood last night. She took in a deep breath and walked over to change her top and let down her hair. If she was going to go into battle then she was going to do it on her terms, she wouldn't be ordered around by anyone. She would go for a walk and then go and see Mr. Darcy when she felt like it and not before.
Darcy waited impatiently for Elizabeth to arrive. It had already been over two hours since he sent Collins to her with his note requesting that she come speak with him. He glanced down at his watch, where could she be? He grew more frustrated as time passed. He repeatedly tried to focus on his work but was unable to. If she was unwilling to come, perhaps it was because there was some truth in the things his aunt said. Maybe she really was developing feelings for Richard, and it was too late for him. What really happened on the terrace last night after he left he wondered? Did Richard take her in his arms and kiss her? Did she respond to his kiss? The little green-eyed monster raised its ugly head once again. He found himself struggling with keeping his anger under control. He glanced down at his watch again just as a knock came at the door.
Darcy stood behind his desk. "Come in."
Elizabeth came into the study. She was trying very hard to keep her temper under control, but she didn't like being summoned to the house by him. Seeing him stand there behind his desk like an angry boss, or disapproving schoolmaster made it that much more difficult. She cleared her throat and attempted to keep her voice even. "I got your note, what is it you need to see me about Mr. Darcy?"
Darcy gritted his teeth. Of course, he was still 'Mr. Darcy,' with him she was all formality, always keeping him at a distance while she willingly called Richard by his first name. He was irritated, this was more proof he thought to himself. "I sent that note exactly two hours and ten minutes ago. I said that it was important that I speak to you, why is it that you are only now coming to see me?"
She smiled and tried again to keep an even tone. "Yes, I know when you sent the note, and I was aware that you wanted to speak with me, that's why I'm here now, so what is troubling you?"
"You couldn't do me the courtesy of coming sooner?" he snapped at her.
"You showed me no such courtesy when you sent Collins running down to demand that I come here to see you. What is it you want Mr. Darcy?" she asked again trying to keep her temper under control.
"Well for starters I'm not accustomed to being made to wait!" he told her. "I expected you to come when I asked you too."
"More like ordered me to come!" she said sarcastically. "And for the record, I'm not accustomed to being ordered about like a servant or an employee," she snapped at him.
Darcy walked around to the front of his desk. "Well, you are in fact in my employ Miss. Bennet, so technically you are my employee," he reminded her.
Elizabeth was about to protest, but instead, she took a deep breath and smiled, "Fine what is it you want Mr. Darcy?"
"I wanted to speak with you about your recent behavior with my cousin," he told her.
Elizabeth was not sure she understood. She furrowed her brow. "My behavior with your cousin?" she repeated what he said. "What about it?"
"At the party last night. It was observed by several of my aunt's guest; myself included that you and Richard slipped off together. That kind of behavior opens us all up to gossip and speculation that I pride myself on not allowing to happen," he told her.
Elizabeth couldn't believe her ears. "My behavior was perfectly fine and acceptable Mr. Darcy!" Richard and I didn't slip off as if we were having an illicit affair. I was having trouble hearing him, the room was crowded and stuffy, so we went out to the terrace where there were fewer people, and I could better hear him and get some air."
"So then you did go out to the terrace to be alone with him?" he accused her.
Elizabeth wanted to scream, but she didn't. Instead, she turned to walk away. He quickly grabbed her arm and pulled her back to face him. "I'm serious about this Miss Bennett. I want to know if you have feelings for my cousin. Were you attempting to spend time alone with him last night?"
Elizabeth shook her head in disbelief. "You have no business asking me that question!" she told him as she struggled to pull her arm free.
Darcy held her arm tight. "I'm making it my business. Richard is my cousin, as well as my best friend. I don't want to see him get involved in anything that will cause him regret."
Elizabeth glared at him. "Oh, and of course if he and I were to get together that would have to be something he would regret one day because I'm so inferior to the great Darcy, and Fitzwilliam names," her eyes flashed with anger.
Darcy couldn't help himself, the more she protested, the more he kept picturing her in Richard's arms. He knew he was behaving irrationally. He knew he had no right to say these things and yet he couldn't seem to stop himself. "Are you saying you have feelings for him and that you have hopes of being with him?" he demanded to know.
"I didn't say that. I said you have no right to ask and I'm not going to answer your insulting questions any further," this time Elizabeth did pull her arm free from his.
"You will not continue this flirtation with him any longer, is that clear," he told her ignoring her last comment.
"I will not be ordered about by you or anyone else," she told him unwilling to back down. The truth was that she was not at all interested in Richard as anything more than a friend, but she was determined not to share that information with Darcy. Who did he think he was, ordering her to come at once to see him and then ordering her not to see Richard. "I will go out with him if I want to. And there is nothing you can do about it. You stand there pretending to be concerned for your cousin's reputation as if talking on the terrace is really going to cause so much gossip when the truth is you just think that I'm not good enough for him. I'm not up to your standard, not wealthy enough or come from the right kind of background for your cousin to spend time with!"
"That's ridiculous, and I never said that." he said as he took a step closer to her.
"Is it ridiculous, Mr. Darcy?" she asked him. She suddenly was very aware of how close he was standing to her, and the unnerving effect his presence was having on her. "If it's so ridiculous then why are you so upset that I spent one evening with him?" she accused him trying to keep her conflicting emotions under control.
Darcy wasn't sure why he was so angry, but he was. He was angry when he saw them dancing together, and he almost lost it completely when he saw them on the balcony. He tried to tell himself he was only concerned about the possible gossip, but that wasn't the truth at all. He finally realized he was jealous. He was so angry because more than anything he wanted it to be him that was holding Elizabeth in his arms in the moonlight. Without thinking about what he was doing, he pulled her into his arms and whispered softly. "I was upset because I wanted it to be me that you were dancing with. I wanted to be the one that you were laughing with in the moonlit garden, not Richard," he said just before he captured her lips with his own.
Elizabeth was so stunned by what he just said that she was completely caught off guard when he pulled her closer and kissed her. She knew she should pull back, but she wasn't ready for the effect his kiss was having on her. Her mind was filled with confusion, why was he kissing her, and why wasn't she stopping him. Without even thinking she leaned herself in closer towards him. As their kiss deepened all she could think about was how wonderful it felt to be in his arms kissing him. It was only the sound of a familiar voice from the hallway calling out that interrupted their moment together.
"Fitzwilliam, I wish to speak with you..." Lady Catherine said just before she walked through the open door. Elizabeth pulled her head back away from Darcy as he instantly let her go. Their eyes met and locked on to one another as she backed away from him trying to control the beating of her heart. Darcy too found himself a bit breathless; their kiss had a very profound effect on him as well.
Lady Catherine walked into the study, "I wanted to finish our discussion from last night to be sure you have done as I asked," she said as she entered the room. She stopped abruptly when she saw Elizabeth standing there. "Oh, I did not realize you were not alone," she said curtly.
Darcy forced himself to look away from Elizabeth and over to his aunt. "Yes, what did you want?"
Lady Catherine could see her nephew looked bothered. She thought perhaps he was finally coming to his senses and she had interrupted him while he was attempting to fire Miss Bennet. "I didn't mean to intrude if the two of you were discussing business I can come back at another time."
They both attempted to answer at the same time. "No, it's fine..." Elizabeth looked at him and swallowed.
He looked at her and took in a deep breath. "We were not discussing business Aunt Catherine," he said. "You are not interrupting anything, Miss Bennet and I were done talking anyway."
Elizabeth didn't say anything more as she turned to leave the two of them alone.
"Miss Bennet?" she heard his voice call out to her softly as she reached the doorway.
She didn't look back at him. "Yes?" she said simply.
"I look forward to seeing you at dinner this evening, perhaps if you don't mind, we can finish our discussion then?" he asked her.
Elizabeth just nodded her head without saying a word as she left the room. She could feel their eyes on her as she hurried out of the house as fast as she could and found herself walking back toward the cottage. She looked back at the house and tried to calm her racing heart, what had just happened between the two of them. One minute they were fighting then the next he was kissing her. She shook her head in confusion, how did they get from yelling at each other to kissing each other. It was all just too much to really contemplate.