Dear Readers by way of celebrating the publishing of my second book of Through The Window series I decided to post another chapter this week. Thanks everyone who has written to me and to those who have given the series a chance. Also for those who are interested and have asked I am working on the sequel to "How Darcy met Elizabeth." As always you guys are truly wonderful in your support, as someone who loves to write stories I really appreciate all the reviews and messages :) Regards Janie(mj)
Chapter 33: A Broken Heart
Thinking about Will made Elizabeth smile. So much had changed between the two of them that she could hardly believe it possible. The thought that she was going to seek Mr. Darcy out for help was a strange one. She let out a small sigh, "But he's not Mr. Darcy anymore, he's Will," she reminded herself. Will was so wonderful; she couldn't believe how kind, and gentle he was with her the night before. He spent the entire time seeing to her every need. He wasn't at all arrogant, argumentative, or controlling as he had been in the past. "Is it possible that I judged him unfairly?" she mumbled out loud. She had been rather sensitive to his comments before and quick to think badly of him. The way she felt with him when they were together was so different now; she enjoyed his company so much she hardly wanted the day to end. "It's all so confusing," she said as she closed her computer and headed for the bathroom door. A long hot relaxing bath would help take her mind off things. She was just about to go into the bathroom when she heard Charlotte knocking at her door. "Lizzy, Richard is here to see you," she called softly through the door.
Elizabeth opened the door, "Ok I'll be right down," she said as she followed her friend downstairs into the front sitting room. "Hello Richard," she said a bit surprised to see him.
"Hello, Elizabeth," Richard greeted her. "I know it's late, but I wanted to make sure you were doing all right."
"Oh, that's so kind of you. I'm fine thanks," Elizabeth told him as they sat down.
Charlotte smiled, "I will let you two have your visit. Collins is waiting for me in his library; he said we need to discuss his budget plans for the house," she explained.
"Good night, Charlotte," Elizabeth told her as she left the room.
Richard turned his attention back to Elizabeth. "I'm glad you are all right. That stream can become very treacherous when it storms," he told her. "I think Darcy will demand my aunt fix it, so there is better run off now."
"I was really shocked by how fast it flooded. It made the road completely impassable," Elizabeth told him. "Seeing how calm things were this afternoon, you would never know that just last night a terrible storm passed through," she told him. "I wanted to thank you too for going out in that storm to look for me. I'm sorry that I caused so much trouble to everyone's evening."
"Don't think anything of it," he assured her. "I was more than happy to help out, and I'm very glad that Darcy was able to find you before anything truly awful had happened."
"I will be more careful to heed warnings in the future about impending storms," she told him. "Although this one seemed to come in rather fast."
"The weather does change quickly here," he told her. "It's actually one of the reasons I have always been fond of Rosings."
"You and Will spent a great deal of time here when you were both younger he said," Elizabeth commented.
"Yes, most of our summers were spent here," Richard told her. "I see you are no longer calling him Mr. Darcy. So, the two of you have progressed past sir names now," he teased her.
Elizabeth laughed, "Yes we have finally moved past that point," she told him. "It did seem silly to continue to be so formal after he saved my life."
Richard smiled, "So what are your plans for tomorrow?" he asked her. "I was thinking of going riding with Darcy, but something has come up, perhaps the two of you could go instead," he suggested.
Elizabeth told him, "I do hope to speak with Will first thing in the morning, but I'm afraid something has come up at home, and I'm going to be leaving tomorrow afternoon. I haven't even told Charlotte yet because I wanted to speak with Will first."
"Is everything all right?" he asked her.
"Everyone is fine, but something has come up, and I think Will can give me some insights and understanding in the matter," she said. "I don't mean to be secretive, but I really only feel comfortable talking to him about this right now," she explained.
Richard smiled, "Don't worry about it, I understand. Darcy has always been of immense help to me, and I'm sure he will be to you," he told her as he stood up. "Well it is getting late, and I imagine you're tired, so I will say goodnight," he told her. "I will come by tomorrow before noon to see you off."
"Thank you, Richard," she told him before he left.
Darcy was up early the next morning as he waited for his package to arrive from Pemberley. He planned the entire morning out, once he got his mother's ring he would go and see Elizabeth. He planned to ask her to come riding with him and take her for an afternoon picnic in the meadows overlooking the ponds. It was one of his favorites places at Rosings, and he would ask her to marry him there, he decided. It would be perfect, and Georgiana would be thrilled for the two of them. He was going to speak with Richard about his plans, but he didn't see his cousin the rest of the evening so he would just have to hear the good news after the fact.
Elizabeth found sleep difficult for most of the night. She kept trying to relax and not worry, but she couldn't stop thinking about Jane. For that reason, she was up and walked to the main house before Collins or Charlotte were even up. She took in a deep breath and breathed out slowly to calm the nagging feeling she had been struggling with again. She stood staring out the window in Darcy's study; she was sure coming to see him was the right decision. She glanced down at her watch again and then over toward the door. She hoped that it wasn't too early for him, but she really wanted to talk to him about Jane before she left. It was clear the butler was annoyed at being asked to get Mr. Darcy so early in the morning. He commented about how no one was even up at that time. But she insisted, and he showed her to the study to wait. She knew Will wouldn't be upset with her once she spoke with him. He had changed so completely from the person he was when she first met him; she knew he would understand and want to help. The sound of someone coming into the room interrupted her thoughts and got her attention. She turned and walked past Will's desk accidentally knocking off his briefcase in the process.
Harris stepped into the room. "Mr. Darcy asked me to tell you he would be right down and to please make yourself comfortable while you wait," he told her. Then he asked, "Can I get you anything, Miss?"
Elizabeth shook her head, "No thank you, Harris, I am fine." She waited for Harris to leave then she knelt behind the desk to retrieve the files that fell from the briefcase onto the floor. She couldn't believe how careless she had been; she began picking up the papers and placing them back in the briefcase when one file caught her attention. It was labeled Jane Bennett. She was surprised to see her sister's name on one of the files in Will's things. She looked inside; there were notes about Jane, her family, friends, employment, everything. She searched through the entire file, and came across some handwritten notes as well, she sat down at the desk and began reading.
I have observed Jane Bennett and her family on several occasions. While she seems to be a sweet enough girl her family is completely undesirable. Her father is inept and seems to pay very little attention to his daughters. He has neglected his duties as a father, and the wild behavior of the two youngest sisters is the result. The mother is obnoxious and overbearing; her constant emotional outburst grate on one's nerves in such a way that makes any kind of conversation with the woman impossible. Jane Bennet doesn't seem to show any overly emotional attachment to Charles. Although her mother has continuously presumed that Charles and her daughter will become engaged and gossips to everyone she meets about it, Jane does nothing to stop her. Elizabeth couldn't believe what she was reading. She shook her head in frustration, "No that isn't true." She whispered, "Jane loves Charles." She read on until she came to the most recent date. The note was dated a week before they came to Rosings.
Caroline came to speak with me today and shared with me how Jane blatantly disregarded Charles request that Wickham not be invited to the party at Netherfield. She shared with me in confidence her concerns for her brother's future and his involvement with such a family. After our meeting, I felt compelled to meet with Charles and dissuade him from taking his relationship with Jane Bennet any further. She's a lovely girl but I pride myself on being a good judge of character, and she doesn't seem to be in love with him but rather fulfilling the wishes of her mother to marry wealthy.
I had dinner with Charles and his sister, and he reluctantly admitted that neither he nor Jane had expressed love for one another so I advised him that now would be the best time to end it before anyone was hurt. Charles needs to see that marriage to Miss Jane Bennett would be completely out of the question, his family name, his position both require that he choose someone from the proper background. While I don't accuse Jane Bennet of being after Charles's money; it is clear that her mother's design is to marry her daughters off to wealthy men. Since Jane had done little to oppose her it is safe to assume she's following her mother's orders in her relationship with Charles.
Elizabeth read further on. Her heart was racing as she clinched the file in her hand.
Heard from Charles, he has ended his relationship with Jane Bennet.
F. Darcy
Elizabeth slammed the file shut, "That insufferable, arrogant, overbearing man," she shook with anger. How could he write such things, how could he ever dream to know what true depth of feelings Jane holds for Charles? She was a fool, a fool for ever thinking he was anything other than a selfish, self-centered, rude, prideful man. How could she have been deceived by him so easily? He flattered her, he said things to her that she wanted to hear, but all along he was plotting to destroy any chance Jane would have with Charles. She was so angry tears formed in her eyes. She had been so stupid to let her guard down and to be captivated by his smile and good looks.
George Wickham had warned her, she thought back to what he had said to her at their first meeting, "Darcy is a very good actor, he lies and deceives to get what he wants, but in the end, his actions do best to serve himself." She was angry, angry at him, and angry with herself for being so foolish.
Elizabeth was still shaking as Darcy walked into the room. She was sitting behind the desk, and he noticed the file open in front of her. She held up the page with his hand-written notes, "How could you?!" she demanded to know, her voice filled with the hurt she was dealing with.
"Elizabeth, let me explain..." he started to say as soon as he realized what it was.
She got to her feet and walked past him. "Explain what?" she snapped at him. "Yes please explain how you single handily broke my sister's heart. Explain to me how you influenced Charles to break off their relationship, and how you crushed all her hopes for a future with the man she loves?" she accused him. "How could you do such a cruel and horrible thing?"
Darcy could see that she was angry, but he knew if she would just allow him to explain, that she would understand. "Elizabeth, if you will just calm down and listen to me for one moment..." he began, but again she cut him off.
"Why should I listen to you? Just so you can lie to me, so you can try to trick me into thinking you're someone that you're not," she snapped at him. She took in a deep breath; she struggled to hold back the tears in her eyes.
Darcy looked into her eyes, she was hurting, and he felt terrible. "Please, it's not what you think…"
Elizabeth's eyes flashed with anger. "Not what I think?" she half laughed, half cried. "How can it be anything else?" she accused him. "You actually had me fooled. I really believed that I had misjudged you. I told myself that you couldn't be the horrible, heartless man George Wickham warned me about. I should have listened to him, but I was so stupid, so blinded by your charm that I truly believed you to be different!"
Darcy's own anger flashed at the mention of his name. "George Wickham, what does he have to do with this?" he demanded.
Elizabeth glared at him. "When he stayed with friends of our family, we had a chance to spend time with him. He shared with us how horrible you were to him and that you were the cause of so much heartache for him. At first, I was shocked and wasn't sure it was true, but now...now after reading this, there is no doubt. Knowing what you have done to Jane I can believe that you did those things to poor George too."
"You seem very concerned for his welfare. I didn't realize that you had become so close with him." Darcy fists clenched. "So tell me, just what horrible things is it that I'm accused of by Mr. Wickham?"
Elizabeth could see that he was angry, but she didn't care. "He told me how the two of you were raised as brothers after his father died. Wickham said that you became so jealous of your father's attention toward him that you betrayed him and your father's memory by not giving him what your father wished for him to have."
Darcy shook his head in frustration. "Please go on, do tell me what it is that I withheld from him? What was is that he was so deserving of?" he demanded.
Elizabeth wanted to scream, but she struggled to control her anger. She hated his mocking tone and condescending attitude. "He told me how your father wanted you to share your fortune with Wickham to bring him in as a partner and a part of the family, but you refused. He said that after your father had died, you even refused to give him the money that was left to him in your father's will for his college education."
"Of course, I'm to carry the blame of all of his painful struggles and heartbreaking sufferings," he told her sarcastically.
She was furious with him. "How can you stand there and mock him after all that you have done?" She demanded to know. "If all this was not enough he told me how you refuse to allow Georgiana to see him."
Darcy shook with anger. "You don't know what you're talking about Miss Bennett!" he snapped at her. She had pushed him too far.
"I know that he loves and cherishes her as a younger sister. That he considers her the only family he has left and yet you have denied him even some small happiness in sharing in her life," she told him bitterly.
Darcy was stunned, he couldn't believe that she of all people would believe him capable of these things, "And you believed this about me. You believe me capable of all these things that he has accused me of? You believe I would deliberately hurt my sister like that?"
Elizabeth stared into his eyes for a moment. Her breath caught in her throat as a wave of emotion washed over her, tears formed in her eyes and she struggled to hold them in. "I believe you are capable of being cold, hard of heart and completely unfeeling and uncaring for anyone other than yourself, Mr. Darcy. Your insufferable interference in my sister relationship with Charles Bingley proves it."
Darcy was struggling to control his temper. But it was in vain, standing there being accused of these horrendous acts of betrayal toward his father, having to defend himself against the words of George Wickham, it was all too much. "When I spoke with Charles I told him I thought he should slow down and reconsider proposing. After the party at Netherfield, Caroline came to me. She told me how Charles had specifically asked Jane to be sure that Wickham wasn't at the party, but she did nothing to stop her younger sister from inviting him anyway. It was clear to me then that she..." he started to say, but she interrupted him.
Elizabeth glared at him. "Did you ask Charles if this conversation Caroline said he had ever really happened?" she demanded to know when he didn't answer she continued. "You didn't ask him, you just assumed!" she accused him.
Darcy stood his ground. "I had no reason to doubt Caroline."
"Oh, but you had every reason to think the worst of my sister," she told him. "Just admit it you wanted to break them up from the moment you first met her."
Darcy's anger had reached its boiling point. "You are only angered by what you read in that file because of the truth that's in it," he told her. "I have watched you as well; you don't sit idly by as your mother carries on. It's not pride that you feel when you see your mother or younger sister's behavior."
Elizabeth clenched her fists until they went white with anger. "How dare you try to speak to me of my family, you don't know anything about me!" she snapped at him. "You think you can stand in the corner of a crowded room and watch me. You think by doing that you know me!?" she said. "You know nothing of my family or me, Mr. Darcy. You judged Jane's heart by what you saw, but did you know that she's painfully reserved at times or that she struggles with a lack of self-confidence? Did you know that she wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of her life with Charles Bingley, that she was too afraid of being rejected because of our mother, so she kept her emotions in check and held her feelings in reserve wanting to know his heart before revealing her own?"
Darcy would not allow her to vilify him in this. "Can you deny that Jane is persuaded by your mother and submits to her wishes?" he demanded. When she didn't answer, he went on, "Can you deny that your mothers only motivation in having Jane marry my best friend is for no other reason than money?" again he demanded. "We both know if he were poor your mother would not be so eager to have Jane married to him!" "So yes, knowing what I do of your family's behavior, I acted according to my conscience and gave Charles the best advice a friend could, considering the situation he was in!"
Elizabeth lowered her gaze. There was truth in what he was saying about her mother, but it didn't change the fact that Jane was in love with Charles. "If you weren't so blinded by your own pride, and false superiority to everyone else Mr. Darcy, you would have seen that Jane does love Charles. Jane would have married him no matter what his background regardless of what my mother's wishes were," she said her voice breaking as she tried to hold back the tears. Seeing him standing there it was all too much, the tears spilled over her eyelashes and rolled gently down her cheeks. She quickly brushed them away and sniffled in.
Darcy moved toward her; he felt overwhelmed suddenly with the realization that he was losing her forever. "Lizzy please..." he tried again to speak to her. "Please listen to me," he started to say, but she cut him off.
Her eyes flashed with renewed anger. "Don't you ever call me by that name again! That name is reserved for only those people closest to me. People that I love, and you Mr. Darcy could never fit that description," she told him coldly.
"You're angry. I don't believe what you're saying. I know that you feel something for me," Darcy told her, "What we shared over the past few days, it meant something to the both of us."
This was more than Elizabeth could stand. Darcy was telling her how she felt and in his arrogance, he believed her to be in love with him. "Mr. Darcy, if you misunderstood my gratitude for saving my life as anything other than that, you are once again sadly mistaken," she told him. "I could never feel anything for you," she told him, her heart pounding wildly in her chest. "You are a snob of the worst kind, prideful, arrogant, and completely heartless!" she bit out each word, "I could never love you!"
Darcy was taken aback at the intensity of her anger. "I believe you have said enough, Miss Bennett. Perhaps you should go," he told her coldly.
Elizabeth headed for the door, slamming it shut behind her. Once in the hallway sobs overtook her as she ran back to Charlotte's house, thankful that they were still not down from their room. She went straight to her room and spent the better part of the morning between anger filled rants and heartbroken sobs. She had allowed herself to lower her guard to Will Darcy only to discover that he truly was the lying and deceitful man that Wickham had said he was. How could she have been so deceived into thinking they might have made a connection with one another. How could she have been so wrong to let him into her heart?