Dear Reader; Happy Friday, Hard to believe it is already nearing the end of September. Best regards Janie

Chapter 34: The Letter

Darcy sat down at his desk once Elizabeth was gone. He reached into his front jacket pocket and took out his mother's ring. It arrived just before he came downstairs to see her. He carefully opened the box and looked at the two intertwined gold bands and diamond studs that adorned it. "It would have looked beautiful on Elizabeth's hand," he thought to himself. He picked up the box and closed it shut. Darcy sighed as he slipped the ring back into his pocket. He glanced down at the file on the desk in front of him. "Apparently, I gave better advice to you Charles than I thought of for myself," he said sadly. "Well, at least I spared myself the indignity of proposing to her. Judging by her feelings she would have rejected me to my face," he mumbled. He stood up and walked over to the window. He never saw so much anger, or so much hurt as he saw in her eyes today. He knew it didn't matter what he said to her now; she wouldn't listen to him. She believed him to be the worst person in the world. She believed that he betrayed her.

Darcy spent the rest of the morning thinking about what she said about his pride and arrogance. These were not adjectives he would ever have thought applied to him. He was confident, determined, and protective, but never prideful or arrogant. Hearing her say those things to him, hurt more deeply than he would have imagined. As hurt as he was by her words, he was also angry. There was truth in what he said about her family and her sister, deep down inside she knew it. She was behaving stubbornly and refusing to see what was clear to everyone else.

He ran his hands through his hair, as his thoughts turned to George Wickham. He was another matter that he felt compelled to deal with. Darcy couldn't let Elizabeth go on believing the lies Wickham told her about him. Even if she never spoke to him again, he at least had to set the record straight where Wickham was concerned. Elizabeth needed to know the truth about the man she so willingly defended, especially where Georgiana was concerned. He took in a deep breath and sat back down at his desk, he cleared away the files and opened his laptop. "She may not be willing to listen to me, but maybe she will read what I have to write," he mumbled to himself and began typing.

Elizabeth's head was still aching as she finished her packing. Her heart still ached inside over the things she had read in Darcy's file. Now more than ever she was determined to go home to be with Jane. She was so thankful both Charlotte and Collins were still sound asleep when she came back after arguing with Darcy. At least she didn't have to explain her emotional state to them. She glanced over at her clock; it was just past ten. She had already told Charlotte she wasn't hungry when she came to the door to offer breakfast earlier. She was just about to gather up her laptop when she saw she had a new email. It was from Darcy. She hesitated, trying to decide if she should read it or simply hit delete. In a moment of unexplainable weakness, she found herself wanting to know what more he had to say to her. She sat down and began reading.

Miss Bennett

I regret that our discussion this morning ended the way that it did. There were many things said, and accusations made in the heat of the moment. Some of the things said against my character, by George Wickham demand that I must respond. For many reasons that I cannot go into now, words failed me when we spoke before, but I hope that you will show me the same consideration you gave to him and allow me to tell you all that transpired.

Some of what Mr. Wickham related to you was true. As is with any gossip there is usually just enough of the truth mingled in with the lies and slander to cause injury. George Wickham was the son of my father's friend and sometimes business partner, Harold Wickham. Their friendship was a long one that I believe my father valued very much.

Because of the close ties our fathers shared, George and I were thrown together often as boys. When Harold died suddenly, my father helped to support George, and he set up a trust fund to pay for his college tuition and living expenses. George was also left with a life insurance policy from his father, in the sum of £85,000 which was given to him on his 18th birthday. After graduation George left Pemberley. For several months, I didn't hear from him personally. Although there were reports of his womanizing, his drinking, and gambling that followed him around where ever he went. I did my best to keep the gossip away from my father as it would have only caused him pain. My father thought very highly of George, and I wanted to protect him from ever discovering what he really was.

Despite my own personal feelings, I did contact George when my father grew ill, but he responded that he was too busy to come and see him. He sent his regrets, but he would not come. My father died a short time later and soon after George showed up wanting the money that had been promised him for school. He was too busy to visit my father when he was dying, but he remembered that my father promised him money for his school and he wanted to collect. I inquired if he planned to attend university. He made some rather ugly remarks and informed me that he would do whatever it was he wished with the money since it was his. I wrote him a check for the sum of £150,000, to which he scoffed that it should have been more and left. I didn't hear from him again for several years, and truthfully, I counted it as a blessing.

The reports of his behavior were always the same, women, alcohol, partying, and gambling. It wasn't until last year that his presence darkened my door again when I discovered he had secretly made an alliance with my sister's companion Mrs. Younge, to get close to Georgiana. Mrs. Younge had arranged for George to spend time with Georgiana. Unlike his tale of brotherly love and devotion that he told you, he had plans for her of another kind. Georgiana was just barely sixteen at the time, and Wickham convinced her that he was in love with her and wanted to marry her. He played off a young girl's emotions and attempted to seduce her. They made plans to run away together, but I returned from a business trip earlier than expected and discovered what George was up to. I knew he was out of money and his only real interest in my sister was her inheritance, so I convinced Georgiana to let me test him. While she waited in the room just off my study, I invited George over for a visit. I told him I knew what his plan was and that I would cut Georgiana off if the two of them were married. He doubted that I would do such a cruel thing to my own sister or that I had the power to withhold her trust fund from her. I convinced him that my father had in fact left the disbursement of Georgiana's funds to my discretion and that I was to decide at what age she would be allowed to have access to her money. I produced a document that I had my lawyers draw up, stating that my sister was to receive no inheritance if she should marry him and that she would be completely cut off. He became angry at my interference with his plans and stormed out of the room without a word to Georgiana.

As you can imagine, she was crushed beyond words. To this day, she doubts her decisions and still second-guesses her choices because of his abuse of her. I realized that none of what had occurred would have happened if I had been a better older brother. I should have been there for my sister, and I was not. It is a regret I shall carry for the rest of my life. I'm just so thankful that his plans to marry her failed and that he's now out of her life completely. All that I have said about George Wickham is true. He's a vile man with nothing, but selfish and self-seeking motives behind all that he does. He's not to be trusted. I hope you will at least take what I have shared with you to heart so that you don't fall victim to his deceitful nature as my poor sister and numerous other young ladies have. If you doubt my sincerity or honesty in this matter, Richard is aware of all that transpired as he is my constant confidant and would readily make himself available to answer any questions that you might have.

As for the matter of your family and what you read in my files, I stand by what I wrote. I pride myself on being a good judge of character, however after hearing your view of things I readily admit that my assessment of Jane's true feelings for Charles may not have been correct. Still, it doesn't change the fact that others in your family have behaved both inappropriate and without regard to others or to what is proper. I gave Charles my best advice based on the information I had at the time, and I don't regret it. He's my friend first and foremost. What you have seen fit to call arrogance and interference, I believe to be loyalty. I do regret any pain that your sister has undergone through all of this. I hope it will be of a short duration, but I did have Charles's best interest at heart. I realize that it is useless for me to try to speak with you any further in these matters since you have made your feelings and dislike of me all too clear. I will close this with my greatest regret being that things between you and I might have been different.

Regards

Fitzwilliam Darcy

Elizabeth read the email over several times. She felt sick inside, his comments about Jane and her family still angered her, but she knew he wasn't being deceitful in what he wrote about George Wickham. She knew that he would never say such things about his sister unless there was absolute truth in it. She had been a fool, a fool for listening to Wickham. She realized she had allowed him to sway her thoughts and opinions about Will Darcy without really trying to see if what he said was true. It was the very thing she had accused Will of doing with Caroline, where Jane was concerned.

She sniffled in trying to keep fresh tears from falling. She thought about how Darcy ended his email, "My greatest regret being that things between you and I might have been different." Was he hinting that he had some deeper feeling for her? During the time, they had spent together she was able to get to know him better and had seen a different side of him. Perhaps he was feeling the same about her.

She got to her feet and crossed over to the window; she stood there for several minutes. "Should I apologize to Will about Wickham?" she mumbled softly. She let out a small sigh; she did attack Darcy character without any real proof that what Wickham said was true. "Still he made all those terrible remarks about my family and his insufferable interference in Jane's relationship can't be overlooked." She felt herself get angry all over again. "He truly believed himself justified in his actions!" she shook her head in frustration. "He cares little about the pain he has caused Jane, to him she nothing!" she said as she walked back over closed her laptop. "I won't write to him," she decided. "I know I was wrong about Wickham, and I could even overlook the things he said about my parents and younger sisters, but for what he did to Jane I just can't let it go." She packed up her laptop and went to speak with Charlotte. At that moment, all she wanted was to go home.

"Lizzy, how is your headache? Is it any better?" Charlotte asked as she came down the stairs.

"It's still lingering," she told her. "I know I had planned to stay until the beginning of next week, but I received an email from Jane. She and Charles have split up, and she's devastated by the whole thing. I really need to go and be with her," Elizabeth told her.

"Oh Lizzy, I'm so sorry," she said. "I understand completely."

"I knew you would. I'm going to leave within the hour, do you mind terribly giving my regrets to Richard when he comes by?" she asked.

Charlotte smiled, "Of course I will let him know," she told her. "Did you want me to speak with Darcy also."

Elizabeth shook her head, "No," was all she said as she headed back toward the stairs.

Charlotte called out to her, "Do you want to eat something before you go?" she asked concerned for her friend.

Elizabeth let out a small sigh and placed her hand on her stomach. "I'm too upset to eat. Jane's letter just has me worried for her, she was so heartbroken," she said truthfully.

Charlotte knew there was something more going on, but she didn't want to invade her friend's privacy. "Tell Jane I'm sorry about how things turned out."

"I will and Charlotte, I promise to stay longer on my next visit," she promised her. "Would you do me one last favor?"

Charlotte nodded her head, "Of course Lizzy."

"Would you not go into too much detail about why I'm leaving, with Collins." She then continued, "For Jane's sake, I mean."

Charlotte nodded her head and hugged her friend goodbye. Elizabeth headed back upstairs to get her things. She didn't want to stay any longer and chance running into Mr. Darcy. She truly wasn't sure what to say to him at this point, and she didn't trust herself to be near him right now. What she needed were time and distance.

Darcy found himself pacing back and forth in the study while he waited for Richard to return from the Collin's. He had sent Elizabeth the email at least four hours ago. She would have had plenty of time to read it, but still, there was no response. He told his cousin everything that happened, and after listening to a long lecture, he asked him to go and speak to Elizabeth. He needed to be sure she understood the truth about Wickham's character. As much as he wanted to make things right with her, he couldn't stand the idea of George hurting her, or her family. He should have warned them sooner, but at least he was now able to rectify this one mistake. He thought over their conversation again. The things she said to him and accused him of still provoked anger and frustration. He was angry with Wickham, frustrated with himself for leaving his files out and upset with her for not listening to him. He was still convinced if she had only listened to him she would have understood why he did what he did. As he waited, he wondered if she were still angry with him, and did she really think him capable of such heartless behavior as she accused him of. It was the sound of Richards' voice as he came into the room that forced Darcy out of his thoughts. "Were you able to speak with her?" he asked him. "Did she read the email?"

Richard shook his head, "I don't know if she read your email," he told him as he walked over and sat down. "She left before I arrived."

Darcy looked stunned, he walked over and sat back down at the desk. "She left?" he said repeating his cousin's words. Was she so angry with him that she had to leave? Was the thought of possibly seeing him again so bad that she felt she had to run away? "When did she leave?" he asked. "What reason did she give?"

Richard could see his cousin was upset. "Charlotte said that she came home this morning complaining of a terrible headache. She didn't eat any breakfast and spent the entire morning in her room," he told him. "She said when Elizabeth did finally come down, she told Charlotte about the email from Jane. She said she was needed at home and was leaving at once," he told him. "Of course, you already know the email was Jane expressing her broken heart at the break-up of her and Charles."

Darcy looked annoyed, "Why does everyone keep expressing it like that. Heartbroken, honestly she didn't act like someone in love," he said sarcastically.

Richard shook his head, "And how exactly does someone who is in love act, Darcy?" he demanded of him.

He was quiet for a minute, then said, "Richard there were no opens displays of emotions, no declarations of love from her or Charles," he told him defending his actions. He thought about what Elizabeth had said. "I will admit she did seem to care for Charles, but that could just have easily been an act to get him to marry her," he told him.

"So, you think it's so easy to read people, and their emotions, do you?" he asked him.

Darcy nodded his head. "Yes Richard, I think I can read people pretty well. I have proven myself capable in the business world and..."

Richard got up and walked over toward the desk. He stood there and shook his head, "That's your mistake, love and matters of the heart don't make sense Darcy. You're looking at this whole thing from a logical business point of view instead of with your heart," he told him, his voice filled with frustration.

Darcy let out an exasperated sigh, "Richard I think I know what I'm talking about."

Richard rolled his eyes, "Of course you do because you have been in love so many times in your own life," he told him. "I dare say this is the first time that I know of."

Darcy looked intently at his cousin, "What are you talking about?"

Richard laughed. "Don't deny it, there is no need. I have known you were falling in love with Elizabeth for some time now. If I had known that you were going to work in collusion with Caroline Bingley to break up her brother's relationship I would have kicked you in the..."

"Fine, I don't deny it. I do care for Elizabeth, but honestly, Richard when I advised Charles I did so with only his best interest in mind. I didn't want to see him hurt or taken advantage of," he told him honestly.

"I know that, but Darcy he's a grown man you had no right to interfere in his life in such a personal matter. You know how close Elizabeth is to her sister," he told him. "You had to know once she found out she would be upset."

Darcy looked down at the desk, "I never thought about it," he told his cousin. "I was sure I was doing the right thing. Charles is my friend…"

"And Jane is her sister," Richard told him. He could see his cousin felt bad. "Give Elizabeth time, I believe she will forgive you if you show her that you're not the controlling, arrogant snob she thinks you are," he told him.

Darcy thought about how she looked at him before storming out of his office. "No, it's too late, she made her feelings very clear on how she felt," he told him not bothering to hide his heartache.

Richard walked over to the door. "Trust me, I've seen the way she looks at you," he told him. "You will get another chance and when you do," he warned him. "Don't blow it!"