A/N: Time for another fun filled installment of this series of one shots. For new readers, this is a side story to my Bitter series and can be read in conjunction or as a standalone. For that reason, the pairing will be Mori/Haruhi and will not change; however, you will see a mix of other characters since this is about everyone and doesn't focus on one person or pairing. This number was recommended by CyraHafise. Enjoy!

#22…To make one look cool in front of your crush – one must always look cool and manly in front of the girl you like; a shinai will give you that edge.

Ritsu Kassanoda walked up to the doors that separated the Host Club from the rest of the school. He was now in his third year of high school and had long realized that there was no way he would every win Haruhi's heart; not when it belonged to his idol and master, Takashi Morinozuka. No, it had long been time to move on; actually that time came in his first year when he had been horribly denied affections for the host he had learned was a girl in a most shocking way (dear reader, let's not forget how he just walked in on Haruhi changing thanks to Hunny unwittingly sending him in there in episode 22, hmm maybe I should show you what happened from Mori's standpoint one day, but first this chapter. If Hunny had thought about things, he really would have suggested Kassanoda wait, but alas it did not happen like that). Thusly after being told they could be good friends and the door was slammed shut with the force of a two ton tank, and then he learned that she was actually dating Mori, let's just say he was forced to get over his crush and move on to other fish in the sea.

Unfortunately no one ever really measured up to Haruhi. Yes, there were girls who had gotten over being afraid of them, but they were a little too… too… fake. Kassanoda wanted someone who would talk to him and be real about their feelings, aspirations, and thoughts. If a girl thought he was being a butthead, he wanted to hear about it. That was the thing he liked most about Haruhi, she didn't pull punches and she told you how it was; well, minus the big secret her first year in high school.

And then he was introduced to her, the woman that made him realize that maybe there were people out there for him, like him, who were real, and wanted to be with him: Rika Kawamura. She might not have belonged to a syndicate, but she was one tough girl and one year below him. Now the problem was that after Haruhi, he was a bit gun shy and unsure of how to proceed; which is what led him once again to music room 3. He had read the publication about the shinai and it said it would make him look cool, not that he already wasn't, but maybe it would catch Rika's eye; and since his mentor wasn't there, he would seek out the next best thing, this mentor's brother, Satoshi Morinozuka.

Gathering up his courage, he opened the doors and was stopped by a voice, "Sorry, but we aren't open yet."

Kassanoda whipped around and found the very person he was looking for and fell to his knees bowing in front of the younger man, "Morinozuka-san, please help me and impart your wisdom!"

"This again? This is déjà vu Bossanova," The twins declared shaking their heads. They clearly remembered the last time they heard this, but at least this time there was no spear or rice paper screen.

Kaoru walked up to the redhead, "So now that Mori-senpai has graduated you still think you need to be an apprentice?"

"You know that Satoshi doesn't have the scary reputation is
brother does, right?" Hikaru added.

"Or are you trying to learn our other secrets?" They asked mischievously at the same time.

"Eh? No, I promise. I just need help. Please help me Morinozuka-san!" Kassanoda begged the younger man.

A brunette joined the small group, "Hey Kassanoda, how goes it?"

The young man lying prostrate lifted his head, "Oh hey Fujioka. I am here to ask Morinozuka-san for help."

Crossing his arms over his chest, Satoshi realized he could finally get in a few words, "So what is it you wanted?"

Face turning as red as his hair, the teen hesitated and finally answered knowing that he would not be able to talk to the younger man alone, "I read the pamphlet you wrote about the different uses for the shinai."

"Yah, and?" Satoshi pressed.

"#22."

In that moment understanding dawned on the kendo captain while everyone else looked lost. A wide grin appeared on his face as he inquired, "Who is she?"

"You actually know what he's talking about?" Kaoru asked.

"Well yah, I wrote it," Satoshi snickered.

Bowing again, Kassanoda answered, "Rika Kawamura, class 2C."

"Well, she won't have to change her monogram," Hikaru teased under his breath causing his brother to join in his amusement (it wasn't like Kaoru wasn't already thinking it, dear reader). When the redhead had actually given a name, both twins figured it had something to do with a crush and after the elder twin made his comment they pulled out a copy of the pamphlet (not sure where they got it, it was pulled out of thin air) and scanned down to #22; and then it all fell into place. Ritsu Kassanoda aka Bossanova wanted to impress a girl and it involved a certain bamboo weapon.

Satoshi looked at the older teen bowing in front of him and shrugged, "I'll help, but you won't need to do much. Do you already have a shinai?"

"Hai!" Kassanoda quickly answered.

"Then the rest is just staging. I will give you a lesson in the court yard, where we will make sure she appears and watches and the rest will be history. She won't be able to resist," Satoshi smirked (yes, he actually smirked which could spell doom for all in his presence).

After a small discussion, it was decided they would be able to pull off their plan the next day. The twins were in charge of getting the girl to the courtyard; it would have been Chika, but the karate captain had refused (he hated getting involved in schemes and he had a club meeting set for the time of the plan… thankfully).

The next day, Kassanoda made sure he was in the courtyard on time with his shinai and listened intently as Satoshi gave him his lesson. They had captured the attention of a small crowd, which tends to happen any time one or more of the hosts was involved. Still the twins managed to make their way through the crowd escorting (read dragging) one Rika Kawamura through the mass of students and up to the front.

A small gasp caught the attention of Hikaru and Kaoru, and they looked down at the small, yet powerful, girl standing between them. Her eyes seemed to be drawn to Kassanoda, and in their minds it was further proof that a shinai really did make you look cooler. Could Satoshi be right and it would impress one's crush? Well they knew it wouldn't work on Haruhi, but maybe someone else? Who knew, but based on what they had witnessed, it was a pretty accurate list. Haruhi had been drawn to Mori after a kendo meet, and now Rika seemed to be drawn to Kassanoda as he held a shinai. How did a sword made of wood impress the ladies?

Rika had noticed Kassanoda before, but right now, her eyes could not leave his form as he swung the shinai around and listened to everything the other teen said. She vaguely recognized Satoshi Morinozuka, but her eyes were held by Kassanoda and she was thoroughly impressed with his form and ability… even if he was a beginner. After the lesson was over, she pushed her way through a throng of girls and approached the redheaded man, "Kassanoda-kun that was very impressive. I was wondering if you would like to eat lunch with me today."

"Uh, yah, I would like that," the son of a Yakuza leader muttered embarrassed as his face turned several shades of red. He looked over his shoulder at Satoshi and mouthed, "Thank you," before walking off with his crush and hopefully new girlfriend.

Once again the shinai saved the day and created romance. The list was absolute and accurate and no one could ever doubt how useful a shinai could really be.