Dear reader; My bad yesterday I posted chapter thirty four and five together. SO I am fixing it today. I will post chapter 36 (my way of saying sorry for the goof) and the story will be back on track . Sorry about the issue but think of it this way three chapters this week:) Best regards Janie(mj)

Chapter 35: Home Again

Elizabeth was happy to be home. It felt good being near familiar things and those she loved. Upon seeing Jane, she pulled her into her arms, and they had a good cry together.

"Lizzy, I feel so much better having you here," she told her as she got up and walked over to the window seat. She pulled out some tissues and dried her eyes. "Thank you for coming home so soon."

Elizabeth smiled as she wiped her own eyes dry. "Jane, you know I will always come when you need me," she reminded her.

"Now that I have had my cry I will be able to move forward," she told her. "Let's not talk about Charles any longer, let's talk about something else."

"All right, what would you like to talk about?" Elizabeth asked her.

"Well, some things have been going on here while you were away," she told her changing the subject. "Dad is going to let Lydia go spend the rest of her summer break with Sara Forster in Brighton and Kitty is very upset about it. Lydia isn't helping matters; she keeps going on about all the parties there will be and boys that she will get to be with."

Elizabeth couldn't believe what she was hearing. "What can Dad be thinking to let her go?" she said out loud. Knowing what she did about George Wickham and that he would be there, she had to speak with her father at once. "Jane, I need to go and speak to Dad," she told her as she walked over to her door. "We can talk later."

"All right Lizzy," she said surprised by her sister's reaction to the news.

Elizabeth went to her father's study, to try to get him to see reason. "You cannot seriously be thinking of allowing Lydia to go along with Sara Forster on this trip without a chaperone."

"Chaperone?" he almost laughed, "Lizzy you sound more old fashion than I do," he told her.

"Surely you realize that Lydia cannot be trusted to go alone," Elizabeth told him. "She will get herself into trouble, and we will all end up hurting because of it."

Mr. Bennet looked at her. "You are worried about the tabloids, because of Jane's career," he told her. "Mr. Forster is a good man, and he will keep an eye on Lydia so you and Jane can rest your fears."

"It is not the tabloids that I'm worried about," she tried to get him to listen. "Sara Forster is only three years older than Lydia, and was herself a very flirtatious girl before she married, she hardly qualifies when it comes to being a responsible adult. Mr. Forster gives into her every whim, he's not going to watch over Lydia the way she needs!" she told him. "She's already talking about parties and all the college boys that will be there." Mr. Forster being a professor will be busy getting ready for the next term, and Lydia needs monitoring. She behaves wildly, and it will get her into trouble. You can't let her go."

"Lizzy, I have made up my mind. It's only for a month until school starts back up. She will get all her silly behavior out of her system, and I will have some peace and quiet around the house." he told her. "I have made up my mind, she will be miserable if I tell her she can't go and she will make everyone else miserable too."

Elizabeth knew he wouldn't listen to her, she felt frustrated and left the room. She went straight up to see Jane. "I can't believe that Dad is so naïve. This is a huge mistake, Lydia should not be going!"

"Lizzy, he had no choice. Both Mum and Lydia complained and cried until he gave in and let her go," Jane told her. "She really was unbearable and relentless until she got her way."

"I don't care how much she cries or complains. Dad should at least have better sense," Elizabeth told her as she began pacing back and forth. "Someone has to use some common sense when dealing with Lydia. She's a wild flirtatious girl who is going to end up pregnant if someone doesn't exercise control over her," Elizabeth told her, not holding back any of her frustration.

Jane's mouth dropped open, "Lizzy!" she cried shocked at the frustration in her sister's voice. "How can you say that?"

Elizabeth took a deep breath in and let out a heavy sigh. "You know it's true, Jane. She hangs all over these older boys, dressing as she does, putting everything on display. Without someone there to keep her in line, she will go off with the first guy who tells her how beautiful she is."

Jane could tell that something else was upsetting her younger sister. She smiled and patted the end of her bed. "Lizzy, what is really bothering you? You have been upset since you got home this morning."

Elizabeth spent the next half hour explaining in detail all that had happened between herself and Will. She told her all about the files, the fight they had and about his letter telling of Wickham's past. When she finished talking she sat down at the end of Jane's bed. "Was I wrong to share all this with you?" she asked hoping that she didn't just reopen hurts by bringing it all up again.

"No, Lizzy. I'm glad you told me. At least it all makes more sense to me now," she said softly as she pulled her pillow up to her chest. "As much as I wish things were different, I must admit that what Darcy did was out of friendship for Charles and I can't fault him for that. He cares about him too."

Elizabeth couldn't believe her sister's generosity in the situation. "Jane, he destroyed any chances you ever had with Charles, how can you not hate him?"

"Because Lizzy he didn't do it to be mean or because he dislikes me. He did it because Charles is his friend and he cares for him. We both know how Mum carries on about money. Of course, he thought that we were all out to catch a rich husband. It's what anyone would think," Jane said sadly. "It's what everyone thinks."

"But you do love Charles! Just because he couldn't see that didn't mean he had any right to say otherwise," Elizabeth told her. "He should have stayed out of it; he should have..."

"Lizzy, there were times when Charles and I were together that I think even he doubted how I felt and I was too afraid to tell him," Jane admitted. "So, you see I'm just as much to blame as anyone because I allowed my fear to dictate how I behaved instead of just telling Charles the truth."

Elizabeth let out a small sigh. "Maybe Will was only acting out of friendship based on what he knew," she mumbled to herself.

"Who is Will?" Jane asked her.

Elizabeth hesitated not sure how much she should tell her. "Will is Mr. Darcy. It's his first name," she said. "Actually, his first name is Fitzwilliam, but I called him Will."

Jane could tell there was more to this story than her sister was letting on. "Lizzy, how did you and Darcy come to be on a first name basis? I thought you disliked him and could barely stand to be around him. I didn't think you would ever stop calling him Mr. Darcy."

"It was while I was at Rosings. He was very different toward me, and I think he was even developing feelings for me," she confided in her sister.

Jane was shocked, "Are you serious?"

Elizabeth almost laughed at her reaction. "Yes...thank you very much. You don't have to sound so surprised."

"Oh, Lizzy you know that I didn't mean anything by it. I'm just shocked, you have to tell me what happened," Jane demanded. Elizabeth told her sister everything. She told her how kind Darcy was and how he took an interest in her photography. She told her all about being caught in the storm and how he came out in the worst of it to rescue her. Elizabeth even went into detail about the kiss they shared. "And then he pulled me into his arms and kissed me."

"You let him kiss you?" she asked hardly able to believe it. "Darcy, the same man that you thought was arrogant, rude, and proud?"

Elizabeth got to her feet and began pacing. "Yes," she admitted. "I did more than that; I returned his kiss."

Jane didn't know what to say. "But I thought you didn't even like him?"

"I guess the truth is I didn't really think I liked him either until..." she thought for a moment. "Until I spent time alone with him and really got to know him. He was so different, so thoughtful and caring."

Jane asked her, "What are you going to do about it?"

Elizabeth almost wanted to cry. "I don't know," she told her. "It's all so confusing, at first I was sure I hated him. Then after Netherfield, I thought maybe I could tolerate him for your sake. You know, try to get along with him because he was Charles's best friend," she explained. "Then when we spent time together at Rosings I began to think that I could like him very much..." her voice trailed off for a moment. "But then I saw that file and read those horrible things he wrote about you, and we had that terrible fight, and I was sure I hated him again."

Jane walked over to her sister and hugged her. "But then you got his email, and now what do you feel?"

"I don't know what to think..." she let out a small sigh. "I was wrong to believe those evil things that Wickham said about him. I would have continued disliking him for what he did to you and Charles, but then I find out that you don't even fault him as much as I did."

Jane hugged her sister again and let out a small, sad laugh, "We are a fine mess and very inept when it comes to love aren't we Lizzy." Elizabeth nodded her head in agreement, Jane was right. They were both very inept when it came to love.

Jane let go of her sister and climbed into bed. "Lizzy, should we tell Dad about Wickham, he will be there with Lydia?"

"I don't think we should say anything to anyone..." she told her. "I wouldn't want to do anything to cause Georgiana more pain. Bringing any of this up now would only bring back painful memories for her. You know how Mum gossips, she would never keep this to herself and Lydia would tell everyone. I can't think of any reason George would mess with Lydia anyway, she has no money, hooking up with her gains him nothing."

"That's true," Jane said. "Are you going to email Will?"

Elizabeth bit her bottom lip, "I wouldn't even know what to say at this point," she told her. "Jane, you are so good and kind, but I still feel this hurt very deeply. I trusted Will, and now I just don't know what to think about him. Knowing he hurt you as he did, I just don't know if I can get over that."

Later that night as she curled up in her bed all she could think about was Will. She said terrible and unkind things to him. After all that he said about his friendship with Charles was true, he didn't act out against Jane in anger or hatred. His motivation was one of concern and loyalty, a quality she prided herself on. She thought about the things he said about her father, mother, and sisters. Why should she or Jane have any real understanding of love, having never seen it demonstrated in any meaningful way? She thought about her father's treatment of their mother, how he always distanced himself from her and left her to make a fool of herself. He would often laugh at her behavior instead of trying in any way to help her or guide her. For her mother's part, she was completely spoiled and selfish. Although she was very beautiful in her youth, she was not very intelligent and often said the stupidest of things. "Still he shouldn't have written those things," she whispered softly.

Elizabeth pulled the covers up closer to her chin. She thought about her relationship with her mother or rather lack of one. She and her mother were always at odds. The distance between them had always been there. She had no doubt in her mind that after having Jane, her mother desperately wanted to have a son and when Elizabeth was born, she was a disappointment to her. If it weren't for the attention that her father gave to her, she would have had no connection or bond with either of her parents. Her father ignored her three younger sisters, probably because they were more like their mother. Perhaps if her father had taken the time to spend with Mary, Lydia, and Kitty, they wouldn't be so ridiculous and wild. She hated to admit it, but much of what Will wrote in his notes was true. These were the thoughts that stayed with Elizabeth as she drifted off to sleep.

Darcy laid in bed unable to sleep. He kept replaying his argument with Elizabeth over again in his head. He couldn't stop thinking about what she had said to him. Was there truth to her words? Had he behaved as a snob when dealing with Charles and Jane's relationship? Was it possible that the thought of his best friend marrying into the Bennet family had repulsed him? Did he allow his feelings to sway his judgment in the matter? Until he realized how deeply he loved Elizabeth, he had to admit he had hoped that Charles would end his involvement with Jane. The thought of spending any more time than necessary with Mrs. Bennet made him cringe. When Caroline came to him, he didn't even question what she told him. He jumped at the chance to speak with Charles about ending his relationship.

Darcy got out of bed and walked over to the window. The sky was clear, and the moon was full. He couldn't help but look down the lane at the little cottage where Elizabeth stayed. He let out a small sigh; it was clear how Lady Catherine felt about Elizabeth. She did nothing but berate and criticize her during dinner. Darcy listened to his aunt carry on about how ungrateful and rude Elizabeth was for as long as he could before he excused himself and retired to his study. He couldn't listen to his aunt tear apart the woman he loved so mercilessly and say nothing. He thought about the things his aunt had said about how beneath them in standing that Elizabeth was. It made him feel sick inside, was that how he sounded when he spoke to her about her family? Had he allowed his own pride and prejudice against her family to cause him to lose the only woman he had ever loved? He took in a deep breath, "I would spend a thousand dinners listening to Mrs. Bennet ramble on if it meant I could spend those same nights holding Elizabeth in my arms," he mumbled softly his voice filled with regret.

Elizabeth was up early the next morning. She and Jane were leaving for their trip to Paris in a few days, and she had so much to get done. She thought about her younger sister Lydia; she would also be leaving soon to go and spend the rest of her summer with her friend in Brighton. She tried again to speak with her father about keeping Lydia home, but it was of no use. Elizabeth decided she would have to come up with a way to keep her sister as far from George Wickham as she could.

She thought again about telling him what she learned about George Wickham. She felt certain if her father knew the truth about his character he would never let Lydia go. But if her mother and sister found out they would gossip to everyone who would listen. Elizabeth didn't want to chance the news getting out and Georgiana being hurt. She could just imagine George Wickham loving the idea of having someone else back up his stories to the tabloids. No, she had to think of another way to keep Lydia away from him.

She headed downstairs to find her sisters sitting in the front room chatting. She had one other idea that might tempt her sister and convince her not to go to Brighton after all. She cleared her throat, "So, I have an idea to share with you both," Elizabeth told them.

Both Lydia and Kitty were too busy chatting about her upcoming trip to notice that she had come into the room. Elizabeth waited to see if either of them would acknowledge what she had said. After a few minutes passed she cleared her throat, "I have an idea to share with the two of you," she told them again.

Kitty looked up and smiled. "I'm sorry Lizzy, what did you say?"

"I said, I thought it might be fun if the two of you came along with Jane and me to France. Jane will only have to work in the morning hours," Elizabeth told them. "That would leave the afternoon and evenings free for us to go sight-seeing and shopping."

Kitty jumped up at once. "Oh Lizzy, do you really want us to come along?"

Elizabeth smiled, "Of course."

Lydia shook her head and let out a snort. "Dad would never agree to pay for the trip," she told her.

Elizabeth tried to be patient with her. "No, he probably won't be able to do much more than give you spending money. But since Jane and I can help cover the cost, I would love for you to come along. It will be such fun, Paris in the summertime," she tried to encourage her.

Kitty was so excited. "Oh Lydia, just imagine the shopping and sight-seeing we can do."

"Well I don't want to go," Lydia told them both. "I'm going to stay with Sara, in Brighton and go to parties and have so much more fun than you will sight-seeing," she told Kitty. "Just think while you are off watching Jane work in France, I will be meeting lots and lots of new boys."

Elizabeth was just about to say something when Lydia jumped up and ran after their mother complaining about how she needed to be sure their father was giving her plenty of spending money. Elizabeth sighed, her plan didn't go as she hoped it would, but at least she tried. She was just about to go upstairs when Kitty asked, "Lizzy, may I still come?"

Elizabeth nodded her head, "Of course you can," she told her. "I will make all the arraignments for you to stay with Jane and me."

Kitty smiled, "Oh I have to go pack," she told her as she turned to leave then stopped. "Lizzy will you speak to Dad for me, ask if I might have an advance on my allowance to take with me?"

Elizabeth smiled, "Yes, I will speak with him for you," she told her.

Kitty rushed up and hugged her. "Oh, I'm so excited. I have always wanted to go to Paris," she told her. "Do you think I might actually get to meet some of the fashion designers?"

Elizabeth nodded her head, "Yes, but you must remember to keep calm. I know several of them because Jane and I have worked with them before and I will introduce you."

Kitty's heart was pounding, "Oh Lizzy this is so much better than going to dumb old Brighton!" she said as she ran out of the room and up the stairs to get ready.

Elizabeth went to their father's study, she knocked on the door and waited for him to call her in. "I have decided to take Kitty along with Jane and me to Paris."

He looked at her and narrowed his eyes, "Why on Earth would you want to do that?" he asked her surprised by the idea.

Elizabeth almost laughed at his reaction, "Because she loves fashion, and besides she's older than Lydia, it is hardly fair that she must sit home while her younger sister gets to go on holiday."

He detected some frustration in her voice, "Now Lizzy you are not still upset with me for allowing Lydia to go, are you?"

"I'm not upset with you," she told him. "I did try to get Lydia to come with us to France, but she still insists on going to Brighton so she can be near the boys," she told him hoping he would see the need for his further involvement.

"She's too much like your mother," was all he said as he went back to his book.

Elizabeth tried to persuade him to take her warnings seriously. "Would you at least speak with Mr. Forster and tell him to keep an eye on Lydia?"

Her father smiled, "Yes," he told her. "I will speak with him, and I will remind your sister to behave herself," he promised her.

Elizabeth had to be settled with that. "Thank you," she said then remembered. "May Kitty have some advance on her allowance for spending money while she's in Paris?"

"Yes, I will give her some extra," he told her as he went back to reading his book.

Elizabeth spent the rest of the afternoon going over her photos from Rosings. She was thankful that she had taken enough for the magazine before things happened between her and Will. She let out a small sigh as she came across the photos she had taken of Will. She decided to have Michael proof them and then she would arrange to have them sent to Richard for his approval. She looked at the last one she took when they spent the day together. It came out so perfectly. She found herself staring at his picture and wondering what he might be doing. Was he still at Rosings, or did he return to London? What would he say to Georgiana? Would he tell her what happened between them and would she still be her friend once he told her of how she defended George Wickham. She shook her head as anger and frustration washed over her, never had she been so upset with herself for allowing her emotions to get the better of her than she was now. If only she could have taken back those things she said to him about Wickham.

The sound of her mother's voice calling her to dinner interrupted her thoughts. She went downstairs to eat but didn't feel very hungry. She noticed that Jane was quiet and didn't eat much either. Their mother carried on as usual, though, she was chatting away with Lydia about her upcoming plans to go to Brighton, but barely paid any attention as Kitty tried to talk to her about going to Paris. After dinner was over, she sat in the living room trying to watch television with Jane and Kitty, but her mind just wouldn't allow her to focus. She told them both good night and decided to turn in early, as she climbed the stairs to go to her room, she was just about to go inside when she saw her door was open and she remembered distinctly closing it. As she went into her room, she caught Lydia at her laptop trying to get access to her files. "What exactly do you think you are doing?" she asked her.

"I was just trying to use the internet," she told her as she tried to close the files and hide what she was doing.

Elizabeth hurried over and saw her client files on the desktop. She saw the jump drive that was still connected to her computer. "You were trying to get into my client files," she accused her.

"You don't have to be so dramatic Lizzy they are only pictures," she told her.

"Why were you in my files Lydia?" she demanded to know.

"I was just curious about who you have taken pictures of," she told her.

Elizabeth grabbed the jump drive away from Lydia before she could reach it. "Well, that's none of your business."

"It doesn't matter because I couldn't get any of your files to open anyway," she said then held out her hand. "If I could just have my flash drive back please."

Elizabeth shook her head no. "I will be keeping this."

"You can't that's mine," Lydia demanded.

"Not anymore, you lost all claims to it as soon as you brought it into my room and tried to steal my files," Elizabeth told her. "Lydia, I don't know why you would do such a thing, but I will be keeping my things locked up from now on so don't bother trying again."

Lydia stomped her foot and stormed out of the room in frustration. Elizabeth closed the door behind her and locked it. She walked over and laid down on her bed; she was so thankful that she put the added security on her computer. She knew it was Wickham that influenced Lydia to try to get the pictures from her. She thought about what the implications of that were. If it was George that asked Lydia to steal from her what else might he persuade her to do? Again, she was faced with how much she should tell her father concerning Lydia and her involvement with George Wickham. "There is no easy answer to this problem," she mumbled to herself.