An enormous thanks to one of my favorite authors, steelneena, for agreeing to beta read for me!
CHAPTER 1
"Yeah, go on and grab me another."
Neal acknowledged Emma's request with a nod as he stood in front of the open refrigerator door at her parents' loft. Snow and David had headed out for a night away - though Emma was about skeptical how "away" you could get with a newborn in tow. Neal dug a couple of bottles out of the back of the fridge, carrying them to the table. "Your parents - not so much with the drinking, are they? All I could find was a couple of Bud Lights."
Emma shrugged. "My Dad kicks back occasionally. At this point, it'll be as good as any." She took a long swig, looking off into the distance. "I just don't know what to do about her."
"So you've said." He flashed her a grin. "About twelve times."
Her smile was tighter, much less sincere. "She almost burned Henry alive today."
"I know."
"She can't just keep lobbing fireballs at me every time she sees me walking down the street. I know she's pissed about the Marian thing -"
"Not that she has a right to be."
"—-but I thought we'd gotten past this whole vendetta against my family." She took another swig of her drink, looking at the pile of bottles on the table. "I don't think there's enough alcohol in the world to fix this problem."
"Never is, Em."
"And the town hall meeting was totally useless. Nobody had any ideas to get through to her and stop the madness - it was just 'Fear the Evil Queen!'"
Neal stared back at her, an eyebrow raised. "Did you expect something different?"
She sighed. "I'd hoped."
"Got some of your mother's optimism after all."
Snorting, Emma shook her head. "I just don't get it. She was doing so well. I mean I know I brought her boyfriend's true love back from the dead and all, but still-"
"You thought she'd changed enough be okay with that?"
"I thought she'd grown enough to not endanger Henry. Not after last time."
Neal grunted, picking at the bottle's label and studying the floor as he shook his head. "Guess I wouldn't have shared your optimism."
"You weren't here to see it, though - she was so great during the second curse. Totally understanding of Henry not having his memories, of my mother running the town. I wish you'd been around, maybe you'd get it then - if you'd been here and not -"
"Dead?"
She closed her eyes, willing the memory away. "I mean at least my trip down a time portal gave your Dad the opportunity to fix that... even if it did start the whole Regina mess all over again," she said, pushing down her discomfort at the memory.
"Because you saved someone she was planning to kill, Emma - that's not something you should feel exactly guilty for."
"I don't." She put her finger inside the aluminum bottle cap that sat on the table, spinning it idly. "I just feel guilty for what it's done to Henry. Even before today, just watching his mother give in to all that hatred again. He came to me to save him from her in the first place. And now he's watched her descend back into that, and it's gotten him almost killed. Again."
Neal lifted his eyes, watching the cap spin on the tabletop. "So how do we keep him safe?"
"We could take him back to New York, I guess," she said, sounding unconvinced.
"Separate him from his family? Let Regina tear you away from your parents yet again?"
She growled in frustration. "I mean, I don't regret rescuing Marian, but maybe I should've just left her in the past or something - instead of bringing her here and disrupting everything."
He chuckled, a bitter, humorless laugh. "You want regret? How about if I'd never left, if I'd told August to beat it... she never would've raised Henry. We wouldn't have to see the hurt in his eyes every time he asks why his Mom doesn't love him enough to stop being the Evil Queen. I'd do anything to take that back."
She fixed her eyes on a bit of nothing in the corner, thinking. "I mean, you could, I guess," she said, knocking back another drink of her beer.
"What?"
"Might be a good idea, actually."
"What might."
"Going back and changing it. Shouldn't be hard, just intercept August..."
He sat forward, elbows on the table, looking her in the eye. "What are you talking about, Emma."
"Your Dad... he's got that wand. It lets somebody cast a spell they've used before. So, time travel? Totally do-able."
He looked up at her, and after staring for a moment, he reached over to pull the bottle out of her hands. "Oo-kay, I think it's time to cut you off there."
"I'm not drunk, Neal."
He gestured to the group of bottles on the table. "We've gone through the beer you picked up and gotten into your Dad's Bud Lite. Now you're talking about time travel. I beg to differ."
"I'm no drunker than you! And you said you'd do anything to save Henry from what he's going through."
"Yeah but Em, I meant-"
She rolled her eyes, huffing out a breath. "You didn't mean it, I get it. Still think leaving me was the best thing to do."
"Of course I don't! If I could go back and change it, you know I would."
"Would you? Because I just told you we can do that, and you told me I was drunk."
He stared her down for a minute, studying her before continuing. "You're serious."
"As a funeral."
"So you're thinking... what. We just zap back to Portland-"
"You find August, tell yourself not to leave. Tell yourself about what it does to me, about Henry. Whatever you have to say to get yourself to show up at that parking garage."
He shook his head. "Think about what that does, Emma. I go through our whole life together knowing I'm keeping this giant secret from you, about your parents, about your 28th birthday. It would eat me up inside. What kind of life would we have if I knew where it was gonna go - but not able to say anything about it for fear you'd have me committed?"
She made a sour face. "Fine then, Debbie Downer... How would you go about it?"
He stared at the floor again, contemplating. "I'd derail August. Just keep him out of the way so that I can fence the watches, let things go as they should've. Our lives would've been better without all of that magical crap rearing its ugly head."
"All right."
"All right what?"
"I like that plan better. We'll go through, you'll distract August -"
"Emma, you can't be serious."
"Our son was almost killed today because his maniac of a mother can't deal with things like a normal human being and he got caught in the crossfire. It's not gonna get better. It's only been getting worse. It's only gonna keep getting worse. The last time she had a vendetta this big against someone, it was against my mother. And we all know how that ended up: bandit, curse, little baby me through a magical wardrobe. She doesn't have the ability to stop until her enemy is annihilated, and as evidenced by cursing an entire kingdom, she isn't put off by collateral damage."
He blew out a breath. "I don't know."
Leaning her chair up onto the back two legs, she crossed her arms and set her jaw. "You don't want to take it back, then."
"I didn't say that!"
"You're certainly acting like it. Someone hands you the opportunity to correct the 'biggest mistake you've ever made,'" she said, putting mocking air quotes around his words, "and you're coming up with every reason in the book to not go through with it."
"I didn't say I wouldn't, Emma. I just think we should think this through is all."
"What's to think through? You wanna save Henry?"
"Of course I do."
She slammed the front legs of the chair down, giving him a face that - even after a dozen years of separation - he knew better than to argue with. "Then let's go."
"You sure Henry's okay to stay alone?" Neal asked as he rushed down the building's stairs, hustling to keep up with Emma's hurried steps.
"He's twelve, Neal, he's not a baby. He's sleeping. We'll be back before he even knows we're gone."
Emerging from the building, they took a left, sticking to the shadows that ran along Storybrooke's main drag. Neal matched his steps with Emma's. "So how're we gonna get in to steal this wand?"
"You're gonna do it."
"Lockpicking skills rusty?" he asked, shooting her a crooked smile.
She scowled at him. "I'm sure your Dad'd sealed it with blood magic. It's gotta be you."
Neal replied with a soft 'ah' as they stepped up to the door of the pawn shop. "You know, we could probably just ask him-"
"You want to ask your Dad to give us a wand that he's got squirreled away somewhere so that we can hop through time. Yeah, like that's gonna go over well."
"Em, the fact that you think he wouldn't approve should maybe tell us something."
She glared at him. "Are you seriously trying to back out again? Just open the damn door before somebody sees us already."
Neal rolled his eyes as he crouched in front of the handle. "And calls who? You?"
She grumbled a concession, watching as he picked the lock and turned the knob with ease. "All right, we're in," he said, gesturing for her to slip through the door ahead of him. He reached for the light, only to have Emma swat his hand away.
"Don't turn that on! Don't you remember anything? I brought a flashlight."
"It's my Dad's shop," he said, exasperated. "No one will think it's weird we're in here!"
She shook her head, a firm no, and moved behind the counter. "You know you'd think for something so important, he'd keep these things locked up tighter," she said, examining the rack of wands sitting on the glasstop.
"I mean I'd think locked door sealed by blood magic is fairly secure," Neal replied with a shrug.
"Well, his oversight is our gain. C'mon," she said, grabbing the wand and slipping it into her jacket. "Let's get out of here."
"Leave your coat on," Emma said, following Neal back into the loft.
"What?"
"It was chilly that night. You'll want it."
Neal eyed her, suspicious, but shrugged back into the jacket he'd begun to slip off.
She looked at him expectantly. "You ready?"
"Emma, I don't know about this," he said, looking uneasy.
"Don't be stupid, Neal. We talked about this. We decided it was the best thing for everyone."
"I know. It's just... It just feels an awful lot like my father's 'use magic to fix everything' crap. Every time someone I love has resorted to magic out of desperation, it's caused me to lose everything."
"You said you'd do anything to take your decision back that night. Anything," she said, leaning heavily on the last word. "You said if only you could go back and change that decision, you'd do it, to save Henry - and me - all of the heartbreak that caused. You said you wished you could take it back," she repeated, growing more agitated with each passing moment. "You don't want to take it back anymore?"
"Of course I do! Em, it's just-"
"No. We talked about this. This is the only way to get him away from her, the only way to stop him from being hurt by this madness. If we can go back and change it - you never leave, we never give him up - then he'll never need to suffer from a parent choosing 'all of this crap' -" she mimicked his words back to him "- over him. Isn't that worth it?"
He sighed. She had him trapped, and from the look on his face he knew it... damned if he did, damned if he didn't. Because she was right, of course. He never should have listened to that puppet. It would have saved them all so much heartache.
Finally he nodded. She lifted her arm, the Nolans' living room rug giving way to the foggy green tempest of the portal. Tucking the wand back into her jacket, Emma raised her voice above the chaos of the portal and gestured to Neal.
"After you."