Ok story chapters are all fixed. With the chapter 36 we are back on tack :) Really sorry for the blunder guys for anyone who did not notice I accidentally posted chapter 35 with 34. Now I have them separated and am posting 36 as my way of saying sorry for any inconvenience to you who are reading it. Thanks and best regards Janie(MJ)
Chapter 36: Thinking of Darcy
During her time in Paris, Elizabeth found herself feeling down. Try as hard as she could her mind kept going back to Will and the email he sent her while she was still at Rosings. As they visited the Eiffel Tower, she kept thinking how it might have been to visit there with Will. With his love for history, he probably would have been able to tell her all about how it was built. "Is this a good spot Lizzy?" Kitty asked as she posed near the base of the tower. "Or should I move over there?"
Elizabeth smiled, her sister's enthusiasm more than made up for her somewhat downcast spirits. "No, that's perfect, stay right there," she called out as she took the picture.
Once she was done taking the photos, Kitty ran over to her. "I sent another text to Lydia. She will never admit it, but I know deep down she will be so jealous," she told her as they walked up the stairs to see the views from the tower.
Kitty looked out over the city of Paris. "Lizzy, do you think tomorrow we could spend the day with Jane while she works?"
Elizabeth smiled, "Yes, I think so," she told her. "I know that's the part you have looked forward to the most, isn't it?"
Kitty smiled, "Yes it is," she admitted. "Don't get me wrong, I have loved everything we've done so far, seeing the Tower, Notre Dame Cathedral, and the Palais du Louvre, but you know how much I love fashion. Spending time with Jane will just make this whole trip perfect," she told her.
They stopped to sit and have some lunch in one of the cafes. Elizabeth kept thinking about how romantic it would be to be here in the evening with Will, sipping wine and taking in the lights of Paris. She wondered what he was doing in that moment, could he still be at Rosings with his aunt? Of course, if he were still at Rosings, Lady Catherine would do whatever she could to poison him against her. As soon as she left, she was sure Lady Catherine spent the entire day reminding him of her lack of status and wealth. Thinking of Lady Catherine reminded her of the things Darcy wrote in his notes about her family. As much as she thought about spending time with Will, the truth was she was equally angry and frustrated with him for the things he said to her. How could he be such a snob, and so completely wonderful all at the same time? She took in a deep breath and tried again to clear her thoughts of Will Darcy. She told herself she didn't care what he thought of her and forced herself to think of other things. "Kitty have you heard from Lydia since we have been here?"
Kitty shook her head, "No, not really. She talks about the boys and the parties but little else."
"Has she mentioned any one boy in particular?" Elizabeth asked her.
Kitty shrugged her shoulders, "She talks about Denny, but I don't think she likes him as anything more than a friend. She hasn't mentioned anyone else. I know she's not having half as much fun as we are."
Elizabeth smiled, "I'm glad you are enjoying yourself," she told her. She was surprised at the difference in her younger sister, now that she was out from under the influence of Lydia. Kitty was a very calm person, with wonderful insights and had a truly creative side to her personality. As their conversation turned to Lydia, Elizabeth tried to keep from thinking the worst was happening in Brighton. Of course, once she started thinking about Lydia, her thoughts progressed to George Wickham and how he had hurt Georgiana, which brought her thoughts full circle back to Will. She sighed, she felt so conflicted about him. On the one hand, she felt awful for what she said to him concerning George Wickham, but she was also still angry with him for what he said about Jane. She let out another small sigh, "How is it possible to feel so completely conflicted about another person as I do about Mr. Darcy."
Darcy was standing near his window in his study when he heard Georgiana knock and call out to him, "Come in."
She opened the door and smiled, "William, Richard and I are going to be leaving for our trip to the coast," she told him. "There is still time for you to reconsider and come along with us."
He turned toward her and shook his head, "I'm sorry Georgie, I just don't think I would be very good company right now. I have a lot on my mind and a lot of work to catch up on. I promise though that I will have it all done and ready for our vacation when you get back."
"William, are you sure that work is all that's keeping you from going along with us?" she asked. "Are you sure nothing else is going on?"
He walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her, "No, there is nothing else wrong with me," he lied. "I'm fine."
"All right then, I will text you when we get there," she told him as she left. She knew he wasn't telling her everything that was bothering him. She had gotten enough information from Richard to know William and Elizabeth had a falling out but nothing more. As she walked downstairs, she decided to give him time before she wrote Elizabeth.
Darcy didn't like lying to his sister, but he didn't want to burden her with his thoughts. He walked back over to his desk and opened his laptop. He went through his email, but he still had not heard from Elizabeth. He kept hoping she would write to him. Even if it were just a small note, letting him know she had read his letter and that she now understood the danger George Wickham was and why he couldn't be trusted. As his thoughts drifted back to her, he thought about the kiss they shared and how it felt to hold her in his arms. His thoughts turned to that night at the cabin when he held her in his arms and how completely perfect it felt to wake up the next morning with her there with him. He thought again about all the things she said to him that last day at Rosings. He knew that she was hurting for her sister and he realized how arrogant his attitude had been in thinking that he was doing her a favor by asking her to marry him. He imagined she would be grateful for the chance to be separate from her family. Of course, she wouldn't feel that way; she loved her family that was clear. As he considered the situation before him, he realized he wouldn't really want it any other way. Elizabeth's love for her sister was just as it should be, unlike Caroline who had no regard for how Charles felt. Everything she said to him about his involvement with Jane and Charles was true; he could see that now. He pushed his computer away from him and sighed. "If only she would respond," he mumbled out loud.
"Lizzy, do you think I should really go through with this promotional campaign?" Jane asked her as she came back into their hotel room.
Elizabeth looked up from what she was doing, "Are you having doubts?" she asked her. She could see that Jane had been distracted for most of the week. It was clear that something was bothering her. Elizabeth guessed that she was probably still thinking about Charles even though she kept denying it.
"I'm not sure it's the best time to do this," she told Elizabeth. "They want Brent and me to pretend as if we are in love."
Elizabeth smiled, "Jane the perfume is called 'Young Lovers' so having the two of you portrayed as a couple does fit with the campaign," she told her. She knew deep down Jane was worried about Charles seeing the pictures and thinking they were real. The perfume campaign did have the two of them working together, and the photo shoots were to be of the two of them visiting some of the more romantic spots around Paris.
"Lizzy, I just can't help but worry what Charles will think when he sees the photos," she told her. "I keep thinking I should just back out."
Elizabeth shook her head, "No Jane, you can't do that," she told her. "First you would be breaking your contract, and second what reason would you give?" She walked over and wrapped her arm around her, "We both know if you back out now that would only cause the gossip rags to dig deeper into your recent breakup with Charles."
"Yes, I know you're right," Jane said. "Do you think I should send a text to Charles letting him know that it's just an ad campaign and not real?"
"Has he been in touch with you at all since ending things with you?" Elizabeth asked.
Jane shook her head, "No."
"Then I don't think you should send anything to him," she told her. "Besides if he has regrets for ending things with you, perhaps it would not do him any harm to feel it," she told her. Elizabeth realized that Will influenced Charles to end things with her sister, but in the end, Charles was the one who took that advice. Perhaps if he saw a few pictures, and suffered a few sleepless nights it wouldn't be such a terrible thing, she thought to herself. Maybe it would do Charles Bingley some good to really see how wonderful a girl he let slip away.
Jane took in a deep breath, "Maybe you are right."
Elizabeth knew she wasn't really convinced. "Jane, please don't worry. I know the photographer, and I know what they are going for with this campaign. It's all about young love in Paris; it's about the romance of it all. You know those stolen looks and magical moments when love is first being discovered," she assured her. "There won't be anything too over the top."
Jane let out a small sigh, "All right Lizzy, I trust your judgment, so I won't worry."
The very last day they were in Paris, Elizabeth and Kitty went to visit the gardens at Luxembourg Palace, as they walked along she kept thinking about the gardens at Rosings and spending that day with Will. She very much regretted the things she said to him about Wickham and wondered if he regretted what happened between them as much as she did. She had almost broken down twice and sent him an email response, but ended up hitting the delete button both times. Even now as she thought about it, she couldn't find the right words to say. How do you tell someone you're sorry for believing the worst about them and at the same time tell them off for thinking the worst about your family? Again, she found herself feeling conflicted, if only she could have all of Will, and none of Mr. Darcy she would be very happy. She almost laughed out loud at the thought, "You do realize of course they are the same person." She mumbled softly as she held up her camera to take another photo of her sister.
Kitty was completely smitten with Paris. Elizabeth couldn't get over the change in her sister. It was so surprising and wonderful to see how Kitty had blossomed into such a lovely person without the negative influences of their younger sister Lydia.
"Oh, Lizzy do you think I could come to Paris after I finish school and work in the fashion industry. I would be the happiest person alive if I could do that," she told her as she leaned over and smelled the roses.
Elizabeth nodded her head, "Of course you can Kitty why would you ever doubt yourself. I've seen your sketches, and they are beautiful. Honestly, I thought some of your designs were so much better than what we saw from some of the new designers this past week."
"Oh, Lizzy did you really think so?" she asked her voice full of enthusiasm.
"Yes, I did," she told her. "Don't let Mum's doubtful attitude influence you into thinking that you must marry a rich man to be secure or happy. You have real talent, and you can make your own way in this world if you want."
Kitty smiled, "Oh it's not Mum that makes me doubt myself, Lizzy, it's Dad that does," she told her honestly.
Elizabeth was surprised, "Really, why would you say that? Dad has never pushed you or tried to urge you to marry the way Mum has."
Kitty walked over to the fountain and sat down on the bench, "No he hasn't, but that's probably because he doubts I could even accomplish that. Dad thinks I'm very stupid. He's forever lumping me together with Lydia even though I always got better marks in school than she did, and I do very well in my design classes at the university."
Elizabeth didn't know what to say, "Kitty I'm sorry, I didn't realize," she told her as she took several photos of her before they moved on.
Kitty got up and joined her as they walked on together. "Don't worry about it, Lizzy. I know in his own way Dad loves me, but we all know you are his favorite. It does mean a lot to me that you like my work. You are always honest with people, and I know you wouldn't say my designs were good if you really didn't think so."
Elizabeth smiled, "Kitty will you do me a favor when we get home?" she said. "Will you put together a portfolio of your work for me. I have a friend I would like to share it with. I don't want to get your hopes up, but I believe she's looking for an intern, and I think you would be perfect for the job."
Kitty was stunned, "Really Lizzy, do you really think so?"
"I do, seeing you away from Lydia's influence I realize you really are capable of so much more than any of us has given you credit for," she told her as they walked on through the gardens. "I'm sorry if I have lumped you in with Lydia at times. I know firsthand how painful that can be," She said thinking about how Will had done the same to Jane.
Kitty smiled as she wrapped her arm around her sister, "Don't be Lizzy," she said quite thoughtfully. "I realize that there have been many times when I have deserved being called silly and wild because of my behavior. There were times that I have gone along with Lydia because it was just easier to do so. But from now on I have decided I will make my own way. I love Lydia, but her actions don't need to dictate my own."