A/N: I hope everyone is having a good week and will get a good laugh out of the next installment of this side story to my Bitter series. This is another request from LucyXHeartfiliaXFan. Enjoy!
#33… Lion taming – enough said. You only need a chair.
Halfway through Tamaki and Kyoya's final year at Ouran Private Academy, the Host Club decided they needed to do a circus theme for their cosplay that week. Everyone had a part assigned to them, and even the graduated members came back to participate. Hunny was a clown. Originally Haruhi was set to be a high wire act, which for the club's intents and purposes would only be six inches off the ground, but she kept falling, so they decided she would be a lion. Tamaki immediately decided he didn't want to be the ring leader and would be the lion tamer so that he could work with his "beautiful little girl". Kyoya became the ring leader, while Mori was a knife thrower (and yes dear reader, he was throwing real ones… at Haruhi who was doubling as the target after a quick change… or that was the plan). The twins were acrobats, Satoshi was a dancing bear, and finally, Chika was a sword juggler.
This was the plan. This is what was supposed to happen, but as with all things involving this group, things have a way of changing without everyone realizing it.
Days before the cosplay was supposed to take place, two identical second years decided to have a little conversation. If their words reached Kyoya, if they stood a little more closely to his table than normal, and if they planted ideas in the Shadow Kings head… well then they accomplished what they set out to do.
The day of the cosplay, Kyoya pulled Haruhi to the side and informed her that she would remain the target for Mori, but she would no longer need to dress up as the lion, instead she would dress only in a sparkly leotard the entire time and pretend to walk a tightrope which would be on the ground. When she needed to be a target, there was no longer a need to change her costume, especially since they were moving the knife throwing to the beginning and lion taming to the end.
Giving him a hard stare, the brunette asked, "What about the lion? Is Tamaki-senpai still going to be a lion tamer?"
"Yes, but I have arranged for something else to take your place," Kyoya remarked before leaving her standing in the hall as he walked towards his next class.
Her mouth agape, Haruhi could not say anything to that last statement and that made her worried. He hadn't said someone, he had said something. It was the something that made her wonder if she needed to light some incense and pray for the blonde's life. Surely Kyoya had not gotten an actual lion. Sure they had done crazy things in order to make everything more realistic, such as flying in flowers and plants from tropical islands, bringing in monkeys and snakes and birds that were not native to Japan, and making everyone dress up in top of the line costumes. Yes, all that had happened and more, but he wouldn't put Tamaki, his best friend, in a cage with a real lion… would he? She face palmed. This was the Shadow King, of course he would. Glancing at her watch, she didn't have time to try to warn her friend at this time, but she would try later.
Haruhi never got a later. When she tried to search out Tamaki, she had been unable to find him. The twins were no help and kept sending her on a wild goose chase. Satoshi and Chika just shrugged and said they were sure "Kyoya-senpai would never place his best friend in real danger". Did they know Kyoya at all? Ok, maybe he wouldn't do anything lethal, but that didn't mean he wouldn't do dangerous. There was a very real possibility that Tamaki had done something recently to piss off Kyoya. It might be time to light that incense.
Making her way to music room three, she found her boyfriend waiting for her by the door. She couldn't help but smile when she saw him and rushed to his side in order to give him a quick peck, "Hi Takashi."
"Hi. The twins said you need to hurry and put on your leotard and makeup. I thought…" Mori greeted his girlfriend.
Her eyes rolled of their own accord as she disclosed the conversation she had with Kyoya earlier in the day, "So I'm not sure what is going to happen during the lion taming bit."
Mori sweat dropped and then tried to reassure the brunette, "I'm sure everything will be fine, and if needed Mitsukuni and I can step in and help. Let's get changed before Kyoya says anything."
And that is what they did. When the doors to the Host Club opened to their guests, everyone was in place and there was an area that seemed to be hidden away.
The afternoon progressed and the customers seemed to love the circus theme and eventually it was time for Tamaki's act. When he realized that Haruhi did not change from her other outfit and did not start out as a lion, he started to sweat and dampen his clothes. Walking up to the covered area, he called everyone's attention towards him as the curtains lifted and there was a real lion in a real cage and it really roared. The blond squeaked in fear.
Hikaru and Kaoru seeing how afraid their leader was, put a chair in one hand and a shinai in the other and pushed him through the door of the cage. It was time for number 33 on Satoshi's list.
Petrified with fear, Tamaki squealed again and dropped to his knees. When the lion roared again, he jumped up and tried to squeeze through the bars of the cage, forgetting the girls could see him. At that point he didn't care, he was more afraid of dying. "Get me out of here!"
"Is Tamaki afraid?" "Did he not know he would be fighting a real lion?" "What is going on?" "Is this part of the act?" The whispers from the crowd started to gain in number. "Oh poor Tamaki. That lion looks terrifying. Someone needs to help him." "Is he going to be alright?"
Before anything else could be said, Mori rushed into the cage (and Tamaki flew out the moment the door was opened, which had been locked shut so he could not get out) and picked up the chair and shinai. Just as Satoshi had said was possible, the kendo master used the shinai in place of a whip and was able to get the lion to sit on a platform, jump through a hoop, and lie down on the ground. He tamed the savage beast.
Exiting the cage, Mori was met with a crowd of girls who wanted to gush over his performance. He scanned the crowd and found the only girl that mattered. Seeing her smiling face, he knew he had done well and he was happy.
Tamaki not wanting to be seen as a coward, spoke above the crowd, "Good job Mori-senpai. Just like we rehearsed."
Shaking his head, Hunny yanked on Tamaki's tie and hit him in the face with a whip cream pie before spraying him with a water bottle. He was a clown after all. After his job was done and everyone was laughing, he invited everyone over to his table for some cake. It looks like Hunny had the last laugh… or joke… or word.