A/N: Unfortunately number 96 has already been written. So there is already a super hero story. Sorry ZaleTribal. However, if everyone would like me to write another one, let me know and I will see what I can come up with. It actually starred Mori and Haruhi's oldest son, Akio. Since that number has already been done, here is another one of your requests. Enjoy!
#91… Pretend you are a Japanese samurai – because they used to use them in practice.
During Haruhi's first year in college, her intro to Pre-Law class was interrupted by a student who seemed in a panic to find her. His shirt was only half tucked in, his hair was disheveled, and his face was red like he had been running all over campus trying to locate her. Her professor seemed less than pleased that his class had been disrupted, but allowed the intruder to deliver his message to the brunette without too much of an argument since the interloper looked so distraught. When the professor called her name, she stood and waited.
Running up to the brunette, the stranger pressed a note into her hand and said, "You need to hurry. I was told it was a matter of life or death."
This did not panic Haruhi or even cause her heartbeat to accelerate ever so slightly. Maybe she had been around the Host Club too long, but she had learned long ago that an emergency in their eyes was not a true emergency in the eyes of anyone else in the world. Smiling at the newcomer, she said, "Thank you." With that she dismissed him and opened up the missive, and then promptly returned to her seat.
"Miss Fujioka, do you not need to leave?" The professor asked as the stranger left the classroom with as much gusto as he had entered.
"No sir."
This was a slight shock since the other student made it seem as if someone's life was on the line. "Isn't it an emergency? I believe he said it was life and death." Normally he wasn't one to pry into his students affairs, but he had to admit that this time his curiosity had been piqued.
Muttering to herself, she mumbled, "The only life or death situation will be when I get my hands on those guys."
"What was that?"
"Nothing sensei. It is not life and death and it is something I can take care of after class." She hated to be put on the spot and she felt like all eyes were on her, much like they were her first day of school when Tamaki insisted everyone arrive at school together. Under her breath she grumbled, "Damn rich bastards."
The professor wanted to know more and his curiosity was getting the better of him, but he couldn't press it any further and continued with class. In the back of his mind he kept wondering, who was the note from and what did it say? (Dear reader the professor was tempted to follow his student after class, however, he reasoned that he might look like a stalker or pervert if he did so.)
After class ended, Haruhi slowly gathered up her items and then marched out of the class with purpose… purposely wanting to murder some of her friends. How dare they send her a note in the middle of class! How dare they interrupt class for something so stupid! She stopped suddenly and took a deep breath in an effort to calm herself and then felt the note in the palm of her hand, that set off her ire once again and she started to rush towards her destination, her stride purposeful and determined. Her mission was to murder her friends… or at least maim them so that they learn their lesson.
And then something else stopped her in her tracks. She had received a missive from Tamaki saying, "Come quick. We are in our samurai costumes and need help! Urgent! This is an emergency!" Her question was, how did he sneak the note out past Mori, Hunny, and Kyoya? None of them would have approved of such a thing. Well they probably didn't know he sent it, but Kyoya being Kyoya, how was that possible? Unless something else was wrong… could it be? Shaking her head, she decided that Tamaki being Tamaki was able to pull a complete stranger out of a crowd and give him the letter imparting on the stranger the importance that it make it into the hands of one Haruhi Fujioka. She was going to kill Tamaki.
Arriving at the room given in her note, Haruhi stopped outside the doors completely out of breath. Why did they have to pick a room on the complete opposite end of campus from where she was? She really wasn't made for long distance marching. A casual walk might have left her less breathless, but she was angry and that emotion alone forced her feet to storm quickly towards her destination. Not quite a jog, but much more than just a casual stroll.
"Haruhi, what are you doing here? Are you alright?" Mori noticed his fiancée bending over with her hands on her knees trying to catch her breath and he rushed to her side.
"Takashi? I thought… you… would be in the… room," Haruhi answered breathlessly. She was slowly composing herself, however, her breathing had yet to even out.
"In the room? We weren't scheduled to meet until now."
"That's right, Haru-Chan!" Hunny smiled as he bent over and looked at his friend in the face.
Smiling, Haruhi straightened up and noticed Kyoya was also with her fiancé and his cousin. The thought struck her, "The three idiots got impatient and did something they weren't supposed to and needed help!" Face palming, she groaned, "I bet they either hurt each other or did something that they can't get out of."
"What are you talking about?" Kyoya questioned. He had noticed that they were missing three members of their party, but figured those three either arrived early and were waiting for them inside, or (and dear reader he believed this was more likely) they were running late.
She thrust the note into the bespectacled teen's face and said, "Tamaki sent me that note and said it was a matter of life and death. The poor guy who delivered it looked like he was terrified that if he didn't give it to me soon someone would be on their death bed."
"So dramatic, Haruhi."
"No, I'm being serious. I haven't seen anyone that disheveled and upset looking since… ever."
"What did those idiots do now?" Kyoya snapped after a moment of reflecting and reading the note. There was only one way to find out. Pushing past Haruhi, he opened the door and found three bodies lying on the ground, shinais lying next to them.
Peering around the former cool host, Haruhi took in the scene and noticed what all three were wearing, "Why are they wearing those costumes? And what exactly are they supposed to be?"
"Samurai," Mori answered simply.
"Samurai? Why do the costumes look funny? I've seen you dress up for a festival and it looked completely different."
Hunny bounced into the room and picked up one of the shinai and started to poke his friends, "That's because most of the costume is on backwards. It looks like they got tangled in some of the cords too." Unable to stop it, he started to laugh at the spectacle before him.
"Haruhi help daddy!" A moan came from one of the lumps on the floor. From the wording he used, everyone knew the middle one was Tamaki. Which mean the two bodies on the outside of him were the twins.
"What the hell happened here, Tamaki-senpai?" Haruhi bellowed. She was irritated by the trio. They had interrupted class, embarrassed her, and clearly did something they weren't supposed to do (dear reader, she believed it was an accomplishment that she didn't grab a shinai and start beating them with it like a dirty rug).
Mori and Hunny helped the trio to their feet, and then the three pretend samurai almost fell to their feet. The tallest host then started to strip the trio of their costumes which left them only in their t-shirt and boxers… they were even wearing the wrong clothes under the armor, which irritated Mori, but the only way anyone knew he was peeved was because he said, "You are not worthy to wear this." He took the costumes as far away from the trio as possible.
"MORI-SENPAI!" Tamaki whined and tried to reach out for his armor.
While Mori was stripping the trio of their rights to wear a samurai costume, Hunny was putting his costume on the proper way. Once the shinai was strapped to his side, he exclaimed, "This is how an honorable man wears his samurai armor!"
"Hunny-senpai, why are you using a shinai? When Takashi dresses in his gear, he has katana," Haruhi asked.
Pushing up his glasses, Kyoya inquired (dear reader, his tone of voice suggested he thought Haruhi was a complete and utter idiot for asking such a question), "Haruhi, would you really trust those three with a katana?" He pointed to Hikaru, Kaoru, and Tamaki.
The brunette sweat dropped and realized the error of her inquiry, "You're right."
"HEY! That's not fair!" The trio cried out together, insulted by the assumption that they could not handle a real weapon. Ok, they might injure someone, but still. They would attempt to be careful.
"That's right! So that is why we are using a shinai. Look I'm a samurai!" Hunny pulled out his sword and swung it at Hikaru who fell to the ground afraid, but there was no need to worry, with his expert control, the martial arts master had stopped his swing an inch from his foe and sheathed it once again.
Kyoya walked up to his best friend and asked, "Tamaki, what time were we supposed to meet?"
"Noon," the blond answered looking down at his feet. He felt like his mother was chastising him for something he did wrong.
"And what time did you arrive?"
"Nine?"
"Are you asking me?"
"No… but mommy…!"
"No buts. Why did you three arrive so early and try to put on these costumes yourself? Mori-senpai said he would show us how to do it. You three know nothing about the samurai armor!"
"We thought it would be easy, but it wasn't."
"And then you had the audacity to flag down a complete stranger and attempt to pull Haruhi out of class."
"We thought she would help us," Hikaru piped up.
"That's right!" Kaoru agreed, however, a raised eyebrow from the Shadow King had him grabbing his brother and both of them squeaked in fear.
Kyoya pushed up his glasses again and crossed his arms, "Did your attempt look anything like Hunny-senpai's?"
"Well no. We couldn't see," Tamaki sheepishly answered.
"Your helmet was on backwards," Mori told him.
Scowling, Haruhi asked, "How do you put on a helmet backwards?"
Looking over his shoulder, Kyoya stated, "You really need to ask that question when we are talking about Tamaki, Hikaru, and Kaoru?"
"Well, I would have thought even they could tell when a helmet was backwards or not considering it is longer in the back and there is a face guard in the front," she grumbled.
"We thought it was like the medieval knights!" Kaoru explained.
"Yah, and that there would be holes for the eyes in the longer part of the helmet," Hikaru added.
"But there wasn't!" They cried together.
Mori, Hunny, Kyoya, and Haruhi face palmed at the same time.
"Why are you guys dressing up as samurai anyway?" The brunette wondered aloud.
Coming to stand next to his fiancée, Mori ran his fingers through her soft hair and said, "The school is hosting a festival and Tamaki wanted everyone to dress up as samurai. I told him I would show everyone how to put on the uniform, but it seems he was impatient."
"Not to sound rude or anything, but you should have expected that. It is like a kid with a new toy. If you didn't want them to get into things, you should have locked the door or stored the armor somewhere else."
"We did lock the door," Kyoya deadpanned.
All eyes turned to the twins, and finally Hikaru confessed, "Well the boss said he knew what he was doing, so I picked the lock."
"Apparently none of you knew what you were doing!" Kyoya snapped and then took in a deep breath. "What do you want to do now Mori-senpai?"
"They can be the vassals!" Hunny proclaimed.
When the focus was on the tallest host, Mori nodded, "Hai. They can be the vassals until they learn their lesson. As with a true samurai, they need to learn the way of the samurai and work their way up the ranks."
Three jaws hit the floor and souls flew out of them. They had just been contracted to be the servants to their friends… that is if they wanted to be able to wear the samurai costume at the festival in two months.
Two months later, their costumes complete with shinai (dear reader they still didn't trust Hikaru, Kaoru, and Tamaki not to injure someone), the six original members of the Host Club attended the festival dressed in full samurai regalia. Haruhi was dressed in a beautiful kimono that Mori had given her, and everyone had a great time. Tamaki even got into a "pretend" sword fight with the twins, which his shinai broke and the twins won (they would probably lord that over the blond for a long time to come). They were samurai… or at least pretending to be. The only real samurai in the group was Mori, at least in Haruhi's eyes.