Weiss Reacts to The Weiss List!

A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! I had the...ehem, "fortune" of reading the Die for Our Ship pages on TvTropes. For all of you familiar with my material, you already know how much I "love" that stuff. Hohohoho, nearly enough to write a chapter "devoted" to said thing and how a nice, smiling Nora with Magnhild and Gungnir would respond to it, instead of giving you guys a nice, fluffy chapter about Weiss reading a nice fluffy fic about Weiss getting what she wants. Course, I'm too nice for that~

Aaaanyway, rant over. A shout out to The Draigg, who wrote The Weiss List as well as a bunch of other awesome fics- go read them instead, they're much funnier and much for fun- and let's get this chapter on the road! And quickly before I sink back into ranting.

DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise Yang would be dressing up in a maid outfit at some point *drools*

The Weiss List belongs to The Draigg.

All mentioned franchises belong to their respective owners.

"Hey, Blake." Yang looked over her teammate's shoulder. "What'cha doing?"

"Shush." Blake glared at her. She was busy drawing plans for what Yang thought looked like a ship's hull before hiding the plans. "I'm concentrating."
"On what?"

"Something." The catgirl then sighed, exasperated. "Well, there goes my concentration. Thanks, Yang."

Yang chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of her head. "Sorry! I didn't mean to..."

"...all's forgiven." Blake exhaled, smiling. "Eh. I was getting a little bored, anyway. Anything you want to do?"

"...ehhhh...actually...I wanted to check this fic out." Yang grabbed her laptop and opened it up, the screen turning on to reveal the DustFiction archives.

"What fic?"
The brawler pointed towards a fic entitled 'The Weiss List'. Blake skimmed the description.

"...Weiss reading self-help books?" Blake snickered. "That actually sounds like our Weiss."

"I'm pretty sure it's a little too late for our Weiss to read those." Yang scoffed. "We drove her insane already."

The catgirl laughed. "Yeah. We should get Weiss to read this."

"I can just see her raging..." Yang giggled insanely. "...where is Weiss, anyway?"
"I dunno, doing something. Ruby had to do some homework in the library, so..." Blake thought for a moment, tapping her chin. "...try looking for Jaune. She's probably hanging around him."

"And Jaune's in the canteen!" The brawler snapped her fingers. Yang adjusted her jacket and began to stroll out.

"Thanks, Blakey. I'll see you here in a couple of minutes."

Meanwhile, in the canteen...

Weiss chuckled, clutching a cup of coffee. "So, your sister nearly got blew that Fionn boy up, huh?"
"Yeah." Jaune sighed. "Maeve's not really all that patient. I'm pretty sure she wanted to place a hex on Russell, too, for apparently saying something remotely perverted."

"How do you deal with that?" The heiress inquired. "Winter was a bit cold, and Elsa isn't exactly the poster child of 'insane'..."

The knight shrugged. "I dunno. My dad always said it was because I was secretly manly that I survived that stuff.

Eh. Just get used to it, I suppose-"
"Heeeeeey." Yang sidled up to Jaune, grinning at him. "You don't mind if I borrow Weiss for a moment, Jauney-boy?"
"Uh-"

"Great!" The brawler gave him a thumbs up, grabbed Weiss' arm and dragged her away. "Come!"
"H-hey! Moron! L-let me go, idiot! I'm talking to Jaune!"
"I have to show you something!"

"YANG! UNHAND ME!" The heiress struggled against Yang's vice grip as the pair left the canteen, the brawler ignoring her protests.

Jaune frowned, looking aside and taking a sip of his coffee. "...I wonder what that was about?"
Suddenly, Aspasia, his eldest sister, ran up to him, frowning.

"Aspasia?"
"Big bro-" The boxer corrected herself, clearing her throat. "Jaune. Sorry, have to be serious this time. Anyway, can you talk Maeve down? She wants to go hex Goodwitch for giving her a detention for homework."
"Again?"

Back at RWBY dorm...

Weiss glared at Yang as she dragged her inside. "W-what was THAT for?! I was TALKING to Jaune, you dunce!"
"We have to show you something!" The brawler complained. "And besides, these chapters are a lot more fun with you in them!"

"D-don't make up stupid excuses like that!" The heiress snapped irritably. "We're not in some stupid fanfic written by this 'ElfCollaborator' moron! And even if we were, he's probably Ren or something!"

"Weiss, don't steal our thunder. We and Velvet-chan do the meta better than you." Blake scoffed dismissively.

"Anyway, we just wanted to show you this fic we found." The brawler rolled Weiss her chair, which she took with a grumble. She looked over at Yang's laptop screen, blinking.

"...mental problems?" The heiress felt her eyelid twitch. "...self-help books?

...this fic sounds stupid. I-I don't have the urge to improve my mental health! I-I am the very PARAGON of mental health!"

Yang and Blake broke out in hysterical laughter.

"W-what's so funny?!" Weiss glared at the pair. "A-are you questioning my claim?!"

"Do you want a chronological or alphabetical list of the times you've lost your top over things?" Yang remarked. "Trust me, you've got anger issues."
The heiress pinched her nose, breathing deeply. "...the only reason I lose my temper is because dunces like you keep doing stupid perverted antics."

"What about the time the vending machine ran out of sorbet?"
"Or the time Sharkie-chan was missing?"
"Or the time-"
"I GET YOUR POINT." Weiss snapped again. "...fine, I'll read this stupid fic, but only because by now I'm sure Jaune's found something to do. Idiots..."

Weiss opened the link, reading through the first chapter.

...

"So...that afternoon. Exactly what Weiss would do." Yang remarked.

Weiss gave Yang an irritated gaze. "I-I'm not VIOLENT, y-you idiot!"

"Ouch. Teacups hurt." Blake winced, watching her story-self be hit with one. "I should know-Ruby accidentally threw one at me when she was holding those tea parties with Crescent Rose she loves doing.

...also, isn't Tukson spelled without a C? Eh."

"Okay, this fic wasn't as irritating as I initially assumed." The heiress admitted. "Still, I resent being called violent..."

...

"...WHAT KIND OF PERVERTED FIC IS THIS" Weiss shrieked, blushing in embarrassment. "I-I am NOT that indecent! S-stupid..."

Yang rubbed her chin. "I dunno, it seems pretty true to life."
"Shut up."

"Yeah, I can see Weiss having weird Ruby fantasies." Blake shrugged as Weiss blanched. "It's natural. It's a sign of-"

"Yeah, yeah, that healthy adolescent sex drive you claim to have." The heiress scoffed. "I doubt it's 'natural' to have stupid fantasies like you morons..."

The brawler chuckled. "Denial much?"
"Quiet, you. You're one to talk, buying me a body pillow of your own sister!"

"You liked it."
The heiress' cheeks reddened as she looked away. "T-That's neither here nor there, pervert."

Yang sighed theatrically. "Weiss, how many times must I teach you, I am a pervert and I am proud of it~"
"Sadly, I have to live with that fact." The heiress drily remarked.

...

Blake looked irritated. "H-how dare Nora steal my schtick?! And comparing Heero to Simon?! Blasphemy! BLASPHEMY AGAINST MANLINESS, I TELL YOU!"

"I'm offended even more by the fact that he makes me swear!" Weiss complained. "I-I doubt I would swear or look like enough of a moron to be embarrassed about it."

"Ahhh...you look so cute in this fic!" Yang said somewhat teasingly.

"Yang...please, just shut up before I slap you..."
"Anger issues?"

"Go away."

Blake shrugged. "At least we know you're determined to do this list."
"Somewhat sadly, I feel like I'm going to be humiliated in the process." The heiress complained.

"Why must I be humiliated in every last fic on this site?!"

"Because it's hilarious." Yang reminded her cheerfully.

"Thanks, Yang. Nice to know people enjoy seeing my suffering." Weiss rolled her eyes. "A great friend you are."

"Glad to hear it!" The brawler saluted her happily.

Yang snickered at the portrayal of Weiss' art in the next chapter. Weiss glared at her angrily.

"S-shut up! I-I don't draw like that, stupid!"

"This fic is so real to life that it's hilarious." Blake remarked, holding back giggles. "I mean, Weiss with anger issues who's terrible at everything-"
"URUSAI! URUSAI! URUSAI!" The heiress snapped. "Y-you s-stupid morons! T-this fic does NOT agree with reality!"
"Ironically, drawing is one of the only things you can do competently." Blake remarked drily.

Weiss' response was just as dry. "I'm sure beating some sense into your brain would be easy enough for an 'incompetent' like me."

"You're jealous that my art is better~" Yang said, teasing her.

"Your art is for perverts."

"And that's what makes it awesome~"

"Do you have ANY shame in you, Xiao Long?"
"If I did, I haven't seen it yet." The brawler giggled mischievously.

Weiss grumbled, turning back to the screen. "At least the mental image of Ruby begging for an apology is adorable..."

...

Yang nodded in approval. "I'd pay good money to see a Lovecraft horror game like Slender."

"I didn't personally like the idea." Blake responded, shrugging. "It wouldn't work for those abominations."

"You have a point, but still, wouldn't it be cool?"

Weiss blinked, dumbfounded.

"...I am surprised this person didn't write me doing something indecent to Ruby for comfort, going by the stupid perverted fantasy I apparently had..." The heiress crossed her arms and muttered in disapproval.

"Your words, not mine." Yang responded, smirking.

"D-don't try to make yourself look like less of a pervert than me, you dunce!" The heiress retorted. "A-and I doubt Ruby would be so easy to scare! She's tolerated worse!"

Blake scribbled down something on a notepad in the meantime.

"Make...hilarious...Cthulhu-based slice of life fic..."

"And only two pages, Weiss?" Yang scoffed. "You're bad."

"Moron! T-those games are terrible anyway!"
"You're bad at Fire Emblem, too." Blake pointed out.

"In my defence, how was I supposed to know NOT to rely on that stupid knight?!"
"And League." Yang added.

"Don't forget Pokemon-"
"YOU'VE MADE YOUR POINT!"

Somewhere else in the Reactsverse, Slen D. Mann was holding a tea party by himself again. He sneezed despite lacking a nose.

He was lonely as always.

...

"I-I'm not THAT cheap!" Weiss yelled. "I-I wouldn't take cookies from a vending machine! I would have them baked, to order, from the finest bakers in our employ!"
"Not that it matters anyway, considering that the Schnees own the vending machines..." Blake commented.

"Good point."
Yang giggled. "That's adorable. Would you really sing for Ruby?"
"Y-you moron, is that even a question?" The heiress stared at her as if she was stupid. "O-Of course I would! How do you think we got together in the first place?!"
"Oh yeah..." The brawler snapped her fingers. "You sang for her in the Music Festival, didn't you?"
"Best parody of the best Haruhi episode, apparently, from the reviews." Blake chimed in.

Weiss sighed. "I can't believe you'd doubt I'd do anything for Ruby, Xiao Long. As if you weren't enough of a moron..." She scoffed, waving dismissively.

Yang smiled- a genuine, warm smile, without any malicious intent behind it.

"Good to hear it, Weiss. I'd have to destroy you if you hurt my sister, after all. At least I can trust you to take care of her."

"...pfft." The heiress rolled her eyes, the hint of a knowing smile dancing on her lips. "Just who do you take me for, a fool? Of course I will."

...

"Normal?" Weiss' eyelid twitched. "...he thinks that I'm not...normal?"

Yang patted Weiss slowly on the shoulder. "Weiss, think rationally about this..."
"I AM NORMAL!" The heiress snapped, surprising Yang and causing her to recoil. "I-I don't need to watch stupid cartoons or act like a moron to be normal!

What kind of stupid reasoning is that?! Why would I take the likes of Pyrrha, Nora and Yang as NORMAL?!"
Blake chuckled. "Apparently she thinks being completely insane is 'normal'." The catgirl sighed. Yang nodded. "Well, she does have a point. Their versions of us are pretty similar to us."
"Apparently the author read Weiss Reacts before writing his stuff."
"Figures."

"-And what are you dunces talking about now?!" The heiress interrupted their regularly scheduled fourth wall breakage with her ranting. "Not normal my backside..."

Yang looked over at Blake. "Recorded?"
The catgirl held up a tiny button mic. "Already ahead of you, Yang."
"That's my Blakey~"

...

"..." Weiss felt her fingers twitching. She was inches from beating the stuffing out of this author.

"...suicidal...calling Nora normal...acting like a stupid valley girl out of a bad TV show...am I supposed to be insane or something?! WHAT IN THE NAME OF OUM AM I DOING?!"

"Asking Ruby for a little fun, it looks like." Yang said in the bluntest manner possible, placing her hand on Weiss' back. "Don't worry, it's natural for-"
"PERVERT! WHY AM I A STUPID PERVERT?!"

"...our Weiss has to be the best user of denial in the history of existence." Blake remarked. "I swear, Kyon has nothing on her."

"Okay...okay." The heiress breathed deeply. "I'm calm now. I'm fine."

"You won't be after next chapter." Yang pointed out helpfully.

"Shut up. I doubt he'll actually do it." Weiss said confidently.

Blake stared at her. "Did you even read the rating? Or the author's notes?"

Minutes later...

Weiss was profusely blushing, hiding her face in her arms and shaking her head.

"I-I'm doomed..."

Yang, meanwhile, was busy laughing uproariously, clutching her stomach.

"Best...lemon...EVER!"

"H-how could you enjoy reading t-that perverted chapter?!"

"Because it's truth?" The brawler shrugged. "Duh. This is just the logical conclusion of you and Ruby being girlfriends~"
"I WILL NOT DO SOMETHING SO LEWD AND INDECENT IN PUBLIC, YOU DUNCE"

Blake chuckled. "Weiss, you'll do it with Ruby eventually, don't hide from it."

"S-shut up!"

"Denial, perhaps?"
"GO AWAY"

...

"...and Blake, of course, suggests a lewd movie to watch." Weiss sighed in exasperation.

"Hey! I'm not the pervert, okay?" The catgirl looked offended. "I'm the badass manly-man."

Yang shrugged. "I'd probably get you guys the Bourne movies or something. Can't stand romcoms."

"Me neither." Blake muttered. "Not manly enough."

"Rubes loves them, though." Yang recounted. "Weiss, you may want to take notes."
"...I despise romantic comedies."

"Awww, but I thought you'd do anything for Ruby!"
"There are some things worth standing up for, Xiao Long, and that's one of them."

The catgirl read eagerly on. "I'm curious. What kind of movies are they going to watch, anyway?"
Seconds later...

"MD GEIST?!" Blake yelled in disbelief. "THAT movie?!"

"...it looks stupidly violent-"
"It's terrible." The catgirl said, shuddering in disgust. "Now, when I say Bokurano and Puella Magi are dark, I mean they're dark. When I say that movie's dark that would be an understatement."

"I dunno." Yang shrugged. "I liked it in a sort of 'too bad to not laugh at" sort of way."

"Don't care."

Weiss twitched.

"...she's right, blood DOESN'T work that way."

"You mean you missed all the other superviolent and stupid parts of the movie and focused on the blood?!" Blake stared at her in disbelief.

"I really don't care what reputation this movie has." The heiress shrugged. "Just that such a horrible anatomy mistake should not be forgiven!"

...

"Must be one of those fics where Weiss' family are jerks." Yang noted.

"Mhm." Blake noted quietly. "Although, knowing that this guy took pointers from Elf-kun, that's probably going to be subverted somewhere."
"Where is my backbone in this fic?!" Weiss complained. "I'm confused as to why my story self would not stand up to something she needed to. Disappointed, too."

"It's a three parter! I think!" Yang declared. "Quickly, let's read it!"

The girls did indeed read said three-parter.

"...I'm not incredibly weepy..." The heiress mumbled. "...although at long last, he gets a detail about me right! My middle name! And he misspells that!"

"Your middle name's Brynhildr?!" Blake said, barely suppressing a chuckle.

"S-shut up! It's Brunhilde!" Weiss snapped. "...QUIT LAUGHING!"

"Weiss Brunhilde Schnee?" The catgirl said, sounding it out. "...eh, it makes sense, with the whole 'Nibelungenlied' thing her family's got. If only Freya was called Sieglinde or something..."

"...and how long would it take me to write a damned letter?! Just say what you need to!" Weiss sighed irritably.

"Sometimes, I hate reading about myself in fanfics."

"Huh. He really DID take a leaf out of Elf's book." Yang nodded. "Didn't expect that."

"It's hardly an idea limited to that moron, Yang." Weiss chided her harshly. "I'm happy that SOMEONE wrote my father as a nice person for once. And this fic, despite the amount of times it embarrassed me, actually ended relatively well.

...and there's one last chapter. " The heiress sighed.

"I'm not going to like this one, aren't I?"

...

"...Evangelion references!" Blake cheered. "Congratula-"
"That thing doesn't even sound like a word anymore." Weiss said, grumbling. "...just leave the review already."

"I'll do it!" Yang waved her arms." Pick me! Pick me!"

"Fine! Just do it already, y-you moron!"

From: LittleSunDragonSempai

love this fic

just plain love it

write more pls

-love from yang

ps. nice weiss by the way, weiss loves it and she wants to know where you get your ideas for lemons so she can do some with rYANG IM GOING TO KILL YOU

Yang's screaming could be heard as Weiss chased her down the halls of Beacon.

So, in effect, started a typical Beacon afternoon.

END

A/N: Next chapter...SURPRISE! Weiss Reacts to Super Smash Bros! Ahah! Caught you off guard there, didn't I?!

Another huge thanks to The Draigg, by the way- go read his work, it's far better than mine- for letting us review his work and if you're reading this, you're awesome!

So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, reviews, comments, suggestions, thoughts and criticisms and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!