A/N: We still have several on the list to write about, so if you have a request for one of the numbers, please let me know. This request is from LucyXHeartfiliaXFan and Shortie87. Enjoy!

BTW… if you haven't seen it, I wrote a one shot for Haruhi/Kyoya entitled Spring is in the Air.

#64… Mash potatoes or other veggies – beat veggies until they are mush.

#87… Turn off smoke alarm – beats having to get out the ladder or stand on a chair.

#95… Large shish kabob stick – think about it. A couple of whole chickens or what have you.

There are some things in life that people should inherently know, at least that was Haruhi's way of thinking. Most people called this common sense, and yet, there were many times she wondered if some of her friends actually knew what it was.

An example of why she believed some of her friends lacked basic common sense came on a bright and sunny Saturday morning towards the end of her second year in high school. Hikaru and Kaoru had invited everyone over for lunch and when they all arrived, they found the house abandoned save for the two redheads and a kitchen full of smoke. After Satoshi pulled out his shinai and reached overhead to turn off the smoke detector (dear reader, it really is hard to think with that high pitch wailing. Such a small device, such a large sound), all eyes turned to look at the twins who up until a moment ago actually resembled two chickens running around with their head cut off, and now they just looked a little embarrassed and sheepish.

"Are you two alright?" Haruhi asked believing it was better to start with that than something like, "Have you two completely lost hold of your senses?" or "Have you two completely lost your minds?"

Looking around the room, Hunny inquired, "Kao-Chan, Hika-Chan, where is everyone?" Since the only two people in the mansion at the moment were the twins, it was more than just a little curious.

"Well, we decided to give everyone the day off and told them to go away for the day," Hikaru tried to snicker, but it came out sounding more like a nervous laugh.

Kaoru nodded, "Yah, and our parents are on a business trip."

Haruhi sweat dropped as she deadpanned, "So you gave all of your staff a free day and you had free reign to burn down your house?"

"For your information, we didn't burn down the house," the twins defended themselves.

Crossing his arms over his chest, the older twin said, "The house is still standing and nothing got burned."

"Well a square piece of fabric got a little burned, which is why there was so much smoke, but nothing else got burned," Kaoru stated.

"A square piece…" Haruhi glanced at the stove and then the sink and found the remnants of a potholder. "What were you using the potholder for?"

"Potholder?" They queried at the same time.

She walked over to the sink and lifted up a piece of material that appeared to be about half gone, "This."

"Nothing."

"It was sitting on the stove when we started the vegetables," Kaoru explained.

"Why didn't you move it?"

"It wasn't on the part we were using," Hikaru rolled his eyes as if she should have figured that part out on her own.

Haruhi face palmed and two tick marks appeared over her head. Breathing in order to calm down, she felt Mori's hand on her head and the tick marks disappeared, "So how did it burn?"

"Well we weren't sure what nob to turn, so we turned them all and we thought we turned the others off, but apparently not," Hikaru stated once again looking sheepish.

"What were you two doing anyway?! Are you trying to put my daughter's life in danger by inviting us to a place where you are playing with fire?!" Tamaki screamed.

"Of course not!" The twins yelled back.

"Then why did you bring us here you two evil doppelgangers?"

"For a show!"

This stopped everyone in place. A show? What kind of show required the use of a stove? Kyoya was the brave soul who finally asked, "Would you care to explain what you are talking about?"

"Our grandmother brought us back a video of a comedian in America," Kaoru started.

Hikaru picked up where his brother left off, "His name is Gallagher and he smashes fruit during his show!"

"So we thought we would put on a show for you, but this time use vegetables."

"But since vegetables are harder, we needed to cook them first. And then we thought we could eat what we smashed!"

The hosts who were not the twins looked around their little group (dear reader, they were probably more afraid now than when the twins first invited them), and they all had the same thought, 'Hikaru and Kaoru have finally completely lost it.'

"Besides, didn't Satoshi say a shinai could be used to mash vegetables like potatoes?" Hikaru asked.

"That's right. Gallagher uses a mallet, but we figured we would use shinais to smash the food!" Kaoru sounded giddy with anticipation.

Everyone else, minus Hikaru, sweat dropped. It was more than apparent that the older twin was just as excited, and Kyoya made a mental note to talk to the twins' grandmother about giving them access to such dangerous material… it just wasn't safe for any and all who knew Hikaru and Kaoru.

Knowing there was nothing she could do to change their minds, Haruhi asked Mori, Satoshi, Chika, and Hunny to open the windows in the kitchen to allow the room to air out. It still smelled like burnt potholder. Once that was done, she inquired, "Where are we going for this demonstration?"

"You can't be serious?!" Tamaki shrieked.

"If we don't let them do this now, then they will just find another time to pretend to be this Gallagher person and it could be in front of the customers. Plus, they already have everything set up. Now be nice and just watch."

Hikaru and Kaoru smiled knowingly and agreed, "Yep, we will just do it at school, and torment you in the process." They sidled up to their leader and laughed when he yelped in fear. "If you all will follow us." Leading the way, they grabbed the pot of vegetables and exited through the back door. About 200 feet from the house, they had a tarp laid out on the ground and plastic covering something that resembled a table… and there were already two other pots of vegetables and a basket of fruit set on one of the sides of it.

As the others were wishing they had thought to bring their rain gear, the twins dumped the three pots of vegetables onto the table and pulled out two shinais covered in plastic (dear reader, they wanted to make sure no wood bits got into the food and they didn't want the food to slip through the slits). "Ready, set… GO!" Hikaru and Kaoru didn't care if the others were ready, they started smashing and food started flying everywhere. And when they were done with the vegetables, fruit flew for the dessert.

By the time they were done, the food was everywhere, but even Haruhi had to admit that it would have been easy to chew at that point; however, no one really had the appetite to eat what was on the ground, in their hair, on their clothes, in the bushes, etc. "What else do you have to eat, Kao-Chan, Hika-Chan?" Hunny asked wondering if they would offer him some sweets.

"Nothing. That's it. This is lunch," Hikaru announced and then realized his mistake.

"What he means is… is…" Kaoru was also at a loss. They had not planned this through completely.

Rolling her eyes once again, Haruhi stated, "Hunny-senpai, I'll bake a cake. Satoshi, Takashi, come with me. We will see what's in the kitchen that we can cook. The rest of you, you might want to start cleaning up this mess."

"Why should we do that? We have servants for that," the twins argued.

She cocked her head to the side and smirked, "Servants that you gave the day off and won't be back on duty until tomorrow. Someone has to clean it today."

Just then a bird swooped down and picked up one of the small morsels and flew away with it. Smiling, Hikaru and Kaoru wrapped their arms around each other and announced, "The birds can do it!"

There were times when it was better just to smile and nod than to argue, and this was one of those times. Turning around, Haruhi returned to the house with her fiancé and his brother following in her wake.

Ten minutes later, Satoshi and Mori had created a fire pit and were putting two chickens on a shinai. Once the fire was ready, they put the chickens over the fire and started to throw some of the vegetables into one of the three pots. None of this could be salvaged because the birds had already been wading through it. While it was true the younger Morinozuka had put the vegetable smash on the shinai list, he had never tried it or thought it would actually work, and after today, he wondered if some revisions needed to be made to the list.

An hour later, they were eating the chicken with gusto, and when the meat had disappeared, Haruhi brought out the cake (dear reader, she actually made two cakes. One for Hunny and one for everyone else). The loli shota host ate his (more like destroyed and consumed like a vacuum) quickly, while the others took longer to savor their slices, and when they were done with theirs, he ate the remaining cake from their portion. Not a single crumble survived.

The lesson learned that day: a shinai really can mash vegetables (and fruit), never invite Hunny for lunch unless you have edible food and cake is essential, and if you don't know how to use the stove, don't (or the house could be set on fire… the twins were lucky it was only a potholder, dear reader). Also learned: never let the twins watch Gallagher or anything like that ever again. It gives them too many dangerous and terrifying ideas.