Nora Reacts to Tankery, Part 2!

A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Now, before we begin, it has been brought to my attention that I bent the rules quite a damn bit for Tankery. I duly apologise to anyone irritated by this perversion of the sacred art. You may blame Nora for it. As you may have realised by now, Nora isn't exactly the best follower of rules ever.

ANYWAY, eventually we'll have a classical rules battle of Tankery, but for now, sit back and relax!

DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise Nora would have a railgun at some point.

Girls und Panzer belong to Studio Actas.

All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.

"PANZER VOR!" Nora roared over the radio, as the Panzer IV met the Edelweiss in battle. "FIRE!"

"FIRE!" Pyrrha commanded, and Velvet did so.

At the same time, the Edelweiss and Panzer fired a shell at each other. The Edelweiss' shot went wide, cracking a pair of trees behind them and downing said trees, and the Panzer IV's shell simply whistled past, doing nothing more than take out the frontal camera of the tank by glancing it.

"...should we run, Pyrrha?"

"Pipipipi?"
"I think we should."

Pyrrha turned the tank quickly, managing to dodge a shot from their opposing tank, and drove the tank into the forest.

She cringed as she heard a shell fly past the turret, cracking a tree next to her and taking out the camera in front of the tank, as well as behind it.

When she was sure she'd driven the tank to a safe place, she turned to Velvet.

"Is the Edelweiss even a REAL tank?"
"No," Velvet shook her head quickly, tapping her fingers on the side of the tank. "I think the only reason they let them have it is because Elf likes the tank and there IS no Tankery league to tell them what to do. I didn't even KNOW she and Sun REBUILT it!"
"Damn it." The spearmaiden slapped the dashboard as the camera feed cut out. "And no cameras, too. Pass me the binoculars."

Velvet did so and Pyrrha cautiously climbed out and opened the hatch, looking around to search for the Edelweiss.

The blue tank was nowhere to be seen, although its engine could be heard rumbling nearby. Pyrrha ducked back in, shutting the hatch over her.

"Thank Oum, we're hidden. That gun of theirs is huge..."

"Almost like...the Tiger..." The bunnygirl rubbed her chin carefully, before snapping her fingers. "That's it!"
"What?"
"In the anime, Miho's team beat Maho's Tiger by going behind it and blowing out its rear at point blank."

Velvet recounted. "The Edelweiss is fast, but we've got better handling in the woods."

"So?"
"We just have to outmanoeuvre them to make sure we can shoot them without being blown up!" Velvet concluded. "Get behind them, win the game. We've already taken out Milly and Aspasia, we just need to beat Nora and her friend!"

"Point taken. " Pyrrha said, smiling. "Let's go."
"And then we can resolve your issues with love!"
"Resolving them won't involve kidnapping. It didn't work the first time."
"IT ALWAYS WORKS DON'T QUESTION ME"

Meanwhile, in the Edelweiss...

Nora climbed back down into her tank, putting away her binoculars. She sighed.

"They're boring, aren't they?" She asked her driver, who was examining the radar curiously. "It's just not cricket to hide like this. Right?

"Not...cricket?" The driver turned to her, adjusting her elaborate poncho slightly and brushing her dark hair out of her dark purple eyes.

"I heard it on a DustTube video! It sounded cool so I said it!"

Isara Gunther, engineering prodigy, recent transfer student, and current conscript into the Beacon Sensha-do Club, could only nod and smile.

Being new to Beacon, she was still new to Nora's brand of insanity. This was to change very soon.

Nora exhaled. "Anyway...where are they so they may be shown the glory of the Pancake Queen?"

"They're nearby..." Isara clarified, sighing. "But there's a weird reading on the radar."

"Hm?"
"There seems to be three extra signatures coming onto our ground. I don't think they're tanks- they're moving too quickly. I could be wrong, of course."

"...oh, dear..." Nora sighed theatrically. "Very well, we'll deal with the Panzer first and then we'll show whoever these newcomers are exactly WHAT it means to challenge the Queen of the Castle!"

Isara scratched her head. "...erm...okaaaay then."

"ARE YOU CHALLENGING MY QUEENHOOD, COMRADE?!"

"N-no!" The engineer shrugged, trying to suppress a giggle. "Your wish is my command!"

"EXCELLENT"

Back in the Panzer...

"Radar?" Pyrrha asked her partner, who shook her head sadly.

"Shot." Velvet said, sighing. "That got damaged when we smashed into a tree earlier to get away from Milly's tank."

"So we're blind except for visual confirmation. That simplifies things."

"Pipipipi." Vivi suggested, licking a vanilla sorbet. "Pipipipipi. Pipipi. Piiii pipipi."

"True, true, that could work..." The bunnygirl nodded. "They're as blind as we are. We shot out their cameras."

"Point taken." The spearmaiden nodded, exhaling and flexing her fingers. "Okay, okay. Well.

You ready?"
"Totally." The bunnygirl nodded back, smiling assuredly.

With that, the Panzer IV began ambling forward, Velvet making sure to poke her head out of the hatch every so often to spot for the Edelweiss amidst the Forest's bright colors.

Eventually, the bunnygirl and Vivi spotted a hint of blue amidst the warm reds and browns, to the left of the Panzer, seemingly unaware of their presence. Its engine was even off, too.

With a squeak, Velvet lowered the hatch quickly and ducked back down, nodding to Pyrrha.

"They're to our left. Turn around and start firing."

"Gotcha!" Pyrrha prepared to turn, before the radio burst to life with Nora and her partner speaking.

"-...Nora, these signatures are not tanks. They're moving onto us far too quickly!""

"Wait, what? Then that's..." Nora paused for a moment, before beginning to giggle insanely, realising what was going on.. "...ohohooh...Blaaaake. Of course. It's ALWAYS Blake."
"Huh?" Pyrrha shook her head and looked to Velvet. "What's going on? Velvet? Do you know?"
"I haven't a clue." Velvet shrugged, looking through a script labelled 'Nora Reacts to Tankery, Part 2'. "It doesn't say a thing in here! Dammit, Elf!"

"Wait, wait, who's Blake?" Nora's partner spoke again.

"To put it lightly, Iris-"
"Isara."

"-she's a boring killjoy who wants to blow tanks up with giant robots because she thinks it's manly." The berserker sighed sadly. "It was a shame. She could have been my co-queen. She'd even have free pancakes for the rest of her life!"

"Hey, guys?" Neptune's voice suddenly joined the radio conversation. "We just detected-"
"Yeah, we saw." Isara responded. "Blake, right?"
"Worse than that. Three giant robots."

"Wait, wait, WHAT?!" She responded, half-excited and half-shocked. "Giant ROBOTS?!"
"Welcome to Beacon!" Nora said cheerily, followed by what was presumed to be glomping of the new girl and a slight scuffle.

"Yeah." Sun's sigh could be heard in the background as a crackling noise. "We knew Blake might do this, so I installed some stuff in the tanks based on what Blake uses."

"What? You mean these tanks can-"
"Fight against robots?" Pyrrha interrupted the engineer, entering the conversation. "Sorry, but we need to know if you upgraded the Panzer IV to fight."
"We upgraded everything to. Just press the big red button on your dashboards." Sun explained. "It was Nora's idea."
Nora laughed smugly. "Hehehehe...and you people say I can't plan ahead..."

"Milly and Aspasia should join you soon in a spare tank." Neptune said, reassuring the remaining tank crews. "Get ready to fight. The game's over until we take care of the Mecha Club."

"I can't believe there's a Mecha Club too..." Isara said to herself, awed.

Nora cleared her throat. "Panzer team, where are you?"
"Right next to you, actually." Velvet responded.

"WHAT?!"

"That doesn't matter." Pyrrha cut her off. "We need to focus on Blake right-"

"ALRIGHT!"

Suddenly, Blake's voice filled the sky above.

Pyrrha and Nora climbed out of their tank hatches to see the Gurren Lagann, Shinkiro and Nirvash typeZERO flying in the sky above them, with Blake standing on the head of the former, her Team Antic cape floating in the wind, her triangular shades shining in the sun, with her arms crossed.

"It's time for you to face the truth! There can be only ONE manly sport in this school, and it will be MECHA PILOTING!"

"Well," Weiss corrected her. "Actually there's more room for-"
"Quiet! I'm trying to use a heroic speech here!"

Nora merely gave a hearty laugh in response. "And you think your tank on legs is going beat the might of our Kampfwagen?"

"A-a mecha is NOT a tank on legs! I-T-they're the manifestation of sheer manliness on-"

"Then let's prove that, hm?"

Suddenly, the Shinkiro was downed by a shot to its flight systems, sending it into a spiral with smoke coming from its back.

"Dammit!" Ren yelled. "I'm badly damaged! I'm falling back!"

Nora and Pyrrha turned to see a khaki-painted Tiger I, with an 8.8 cm KwK 36 gun-still smoking-, two MG 34 machine guns and Miltiades looking out of the hatch, waving at them as the turret rotated towards the Gurren Lagann.

"Good shot, Aspasia!" Milly called down into the tank. "Guess that makes up for us failing so early, hm?"

Blake adjusted her shades, resuming her pose.

"So you took one of us out. We'll still beat you easily with two." The catgirl boasted, scoffing. "Because...just who the hell-"

"No, Blake, just who the hell do you think I am?!" Nora interrupted her yell with her own, pointing at the Nirvash with a grin.

"Isara...FIRE!"
"Yes, ma'am!"

Before Weiss and Ruby could react, a shot smashed into the Nirvash's torso dead center and tore straight into it before it could shield itself, damaging it critically and sending it into the jungle, smoking. Blake's cocky expression somewhat faded, even if just for a second.

Yang cried out. "No! RUBES!"

In the distance, Ruby could be heard responding with a hasty "I'm okay!". Weiss' frustrated cry followed, followed by ranting they did not care to listen to.

"Tch." Blake scoffed, jumping back into the Gurren Lagann with a backflip. "I can take you three. I'm too MANLY TO FAIL! O-ElF-SAMA HIMSELF HAS PROVIDED THIS!"

WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM!?"

Nora turned to Pyrrha and Miltiades, smirking mischievously.

"Girls, you know what to do. " Whipping out a pair of shades, she put them on, before pointing at the Gurren Lagann again.

"All guns on the Gurren Lagann!"

Pyrrha smiled lightly at her teammate. "Yes."

Neptune could be heard squeeing happily into the radio.

"Badass tanks versus badass mecha...my dream is complete..." He sighed happily.

The Gurren Lagann pointed its hand at the Edelweiss, a drill forming around it. Nora didn't flinch, despite Pyrrha's increasing worry.

"PANZER-" Nora began to yell, before-

"GIGA DRILL RANGED STRIKE!" Blake yelled, before blasting the drill at the tank.

Nora merely smiled, taking out a radio. "Neptune, permission to abandon Club rules?"
"Permission granted!"

"Isara. Hit the big red button, please." The berserker requested sweetly, a smug smile on her face.
"You sure? I didn't install this and I'm pretty sure the red one is-

"JUST HIT IT BEFORE WE GET BLOWN UP"

It was indeed hit.

As the drill reached within a fine inch of the tank, it was suddenly stopped by a luminescent, translucent green field, spiralling around the drill itself and rotating against it before the drill dissipated into its constituent Spiral Energy.

"WHAT?!" Blake stared at the spectacle, shocked.

"Spiral Shielding Field." Nora clarified, laughing maniacally. "We saw this coming, so we stole your tech.

Now, if you'll excuse me...PANZER VOR!"

At that exact moment, the Edelweiss, Tiger I and Panzer IV fired their guns at the Gurren Lagann.

Mere moments later, the shells collided in mid-air, splattering the tanks in debris and producing a vast explosion as the Gurren Lagann flew above it.

"Going to take more than that to beat me!"

Nora rubbed her hands together, before clambering back into the Edelweiss.

"Finally. Some FUN!"

Pyrrha lowered herself back into the tank. "Okay, Velvet, let's go! I'll try to find a position to flank Blake and Yang from."

"Got it!" Velvet saluted her, with Vivi imitating her salute on her shoulder.

With that, the Panzer began wheeling along, making use of the tree cover to protect itself. Pyrrha could hear the guns of the Edelweiss and Tiger firing, followed by a dull 'thunk' here and there signifying the landing of drills into the ground.

Nora's voice raised the radio to life. "Okay, guys, what's the game plan?"
"If the stats are right, the Gurren Lagann has the advantage." Neptune clarified, the crackling sounds of rustling paper being heard. "The Edelweiss and Tiger I are outfitted with 100mm frontal armor and 80mm to the sides and back, while the Gurren Lagann has at least twice that and the Panzer half.

However, the Edelweiss was outfitted with armor-piercing shells for exactly this occasion, and the Tiger's gun is powerful enough to penetrate it."
Sun sighed irritably in the background behind Neptune. "Still disappointed he didn't let us bring out the big one..."

"I suggest using the Panzer IV as support and the Edelweiss be the tank to try and engage the Lagann directly. The Tiger's too slow and the Panzer's too weak. Anything else?"
"How long will the Spiral Shields hold out?"

"Well, they're powered off of the Energy Fillers Blake used for the Shinkiro." Sun clarified. "I'd say they'll hold out for about two, three hits before being useless."

"Excellent." Nora stated. "Let's go, girls!"

Milly chuckled. "We'll get to it."

Velvet interjected hastily. "W-wait, hang on. We don't have a plan!"
"I do." Nora said, still quietly giggling. "And it goes something like this..."

Meanwhile, in the Gurren Lagann...

Blake stayed in the air, tracking the movements of the three tanks through the forest carefully.

She sighed, shaking her head.

"Stay still, heretics..." The catgirl muttered quietly to herself. "Yes, stay still."
Yang held up a finger. "Erm, Blake, you might be treating this mecha versus tanks thing a little too seriously..."

"I-I'm not! Now where are they so I may show them the light of the truth and befriend them Nanoha-style?!"

Suddenly, a shot rang out throughout the forest, and Ganmen and pilot alike turned to the source, where a plume of smoke was rising. Blake smirked.

"Well, they missed. Yang?"
"Got it!" The brawler manoeuvred towards the source of smoke, gliding towards it. Blake peered at the ground, trying to see through the smoke, before...

"Huh?" Blake scratched her head. "There's nothing here."

"NOW!"

"Wha-" Yang barely had time to speak before she moved the controls to dodge a shot from behind. Blake turned around to see that the Tiger I was aiming at her mecha, preparing to fire again.

"Quickly! Hit it!"

The Gurren Lagann spawned a massive drill around its hand, and within the blink of an eye shoved it into the barrel of the Tiger, splitting it in two and damaging the tank critically.

"NO!" Miltiades yelled, as her tank stopped working and a white flag sprung up over the turret.

"One down, two to go." Blake declared, before two tank shells from both directions tore into the Bullhead wings the Gurren Lagann had bolted to itself for flight, sending the Ganmen crashing into the ground.

"ARGH!" The catgirl yelled, shaking her head. "Yang! Are you alright?"
"A bit shaken..." The brawler shook her head, brushing her hair down. "But I'll live."

"Not so fun being on the other side of it, is it, dear Blake?" Nora said, gloating, as the Edelweiss and Panzer IV advanced upon it.

"We tricked you with that neat smoke shell Isara here invented. Pretty handy and low-tech."

"Dammit...beaten by a cheap smokescreen..." Blake muttered, before clenching her fists. "...but I'm not going to give up!

Let's DO THIS!"

The Gurren Lagann pulled itself from the ground, spawning two drills from each hand as the tanks circled around it, hailing machinegun fire and tank shells on it, staggering and stuttering the mecha.

The catgirl clenched the controls tightly. "If that's how it's going to be...then...

GIGA! DRILL! MAXIMUM!"

Suddenly, the Gurren Lagann spawned drills from ports all over its body as Blake's roar echoed, stabbing straight past the Spiral Shields and jamming themselves into the armor of each tank.

Nora scoffed. "It's not over yet! FIRE AT THE NECK! Even if we're too damaged to do anything else, we'll still win!"

"YANG!" Blake clenched her controls tightly, green energy surrounding her hands.

"UNDERSTOOD!"

The girls yelled in unison. "LET'S...FINISH...THIS! SPIRAL FINAL BIG BANG!"
"Understood!" Pyrrha turned to Velvet. "FIRE!"

Two shells flew into the air at the Gurren Lagann just as the Ganmen was enveloped in a flash of green light-

Nora awoke, shaking her head and exhaling.

"Ugh...what happened? Pyrrha?" She called into the radio. "Miltiades? Aspasia? Velvet? Isara?!"

"Present..." The engineer raised her hand, moaning slightly as she rubbed her head. "I bumped my head into the dashboard...ow..."

"Are we disabled? Is the Gurren Lagann down?"

"Okay, okay, we're awake." Pyrrha called over the radio. "...and we have good news and bad news."

"Tell us the bad news first! Did we win?! Did we win?!"

"All of our tanks are disabled."

"DAMMIT!"

"The good news, however, is that so is the Gurren Lagann."

"Huh?" The berserker looked confused, before climbing up the hatch to see the heavy damage sustained to both the Edelweiss and Panzer IV- the Edelweiss' armor was gone or cracked and the barrel somewhat bent, while the Panzer fared worse, with the treads shattered and the armor almost all destroyed.

The Gurren Lagann laid in the middle, however, fallen and smoking, with Blake huddled in the middle and Yang hugging her comfortingly.

"H-how did my manliness lose again..."

"Don't worry." Yang cooed quietly. "You'll get them next time."

Nora had only one thing to say. She raised her hands and began dancing atop her tank triumphantly.

"I'm the Queen of the Castle! I'm the Queen of the Castle!"

"Manlinesss..." Blake muttered to herself repeatedly, feeling defeat for the first time.

Of course, the Tankery club had to be suspended for a week pending repairs.

END

DISCLAIMER: Valkyria Chronicles belongs to SEGA. (Isara and the Edelweiss originate from that game).

A/N: Well, there ends that arc.

Next chapter, Ruby Reacts to Omega Ruby!

So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, suggestions, criticisms, thoughts, reviews and comments, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!

oh wait stinger

Old Repurposed Hangar

Neptune sighed and paced the floor, watching Sun and Isara repair the Tiger I and looking at the bill the Student Council had given him.

"F-five hundred Lien in repairs..." The boy shook his head. "Dammit, Blake."

The first day of Beacon's Tankery club and most of the tanks were already out of action.

Well, all things considered, it could've been worse.

Suddenly, however, Neptune's phone rang.

"Huh?" He looked confused and fished it out of his pocket, recognizing the contact as the Beacon office.

"Hello?"
"Mister Vasilias," the automated voice he'd associated with the operator of the switchboard in the office stated. "You have a call from someone. Switching to outside caller now."

Moments later, a woman, sounding somewhere in the region of in her late 20s to 30s picked up the phone.

"Hello? My name is Miho Nishizumi. I called to inquire about the Beacon Tankery team.

I hear you are the manager of the club, Vasilias-san. I am very interested to see where and how your team will take the art of Sensha-do.

With that in mind, I would like to arrange a meeting."

END