Yang Reacts to Yangilocks and the Three Fauna!
A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Yes, we're actually reacting to a fanfic for once! How unexpected, but it happens! A shout out to The Layman, the writer of that fanfic- personally, the fic is brilliant if unloved- aaand let's get this chapter on the road before you get bored of me!
DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise Yang would be wearing a maid costume at least once (droooool)
Yanglilocks and the Three Fauna belongs to The Layman.
All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.
"W-Weiss? A detention?" Yang raised an eyebrow inquisitively at the horrified Ruby.
"I-I don't even know how!"
"...pffthahaHAHAHAHAH!" Yang clutched her stomach, laughing heartily as she shook her head, sighing. "H-How did Weiss get a detention?!"
"She, uh...smacked Dove in the face after he made fun of her chest." Ruby twiddled her fingers nervously.
"That's what happens when you take your tsunderishness too far, Weissy~" The brawler sighed, shaking her head, before standing up from her bed and donning her jacket. "Well, Ruby, come with me."
Ruby gazed at her curiously. "Yang! Where are you going?"
"We're keeping Weiss entertained!" Yang explained. "What, d'you think I'm going to let her be bored in detention?"
"Sis, I don't think that's a good idea. It's Professor Goodwitch she's in detention with..." Ruby clarified, biting her lip.
"Goodwitch, you say?" Yang said, a smirk growing on her face. "...oh, I can handle Goodwitch. Just you watch me."
Grabbing her sunglasses from a nearby shelf and adjusting her jacket lightly, Yang nodded at Ruby.
"Meet me in front of Goodwitch's room in about ten minutes, kay?"
"...oh, I'm not going to like this, am I?" Ruby muttered aside.
Yang pouted. "Don't you trust me, oh sister dear?"
"...what?"
"I dunno." Yang shrugged casually, pursing her lip slightly. "I've always wanted to say 'oh sister dear'. It gives me chills!"
"...riiiight."
"D-don't judge me!"
Minutes later, at Professor Goodwitch's classroom...
"I still don't understand why I get detention and Bronzewing gets away with it scot-free!" Weiss complained, staring at Glynda.
"Well, Miss Schnee," Glynda stared right back, adjusting her glasses. "I may have to remind you that, even though he did insult, in no particular order, Miss Gunther's hair color, Miss Scarlatina's ears and your...physical attributes, that was no reason to knock him unconscious with a slap." The instructor exhaled, before continuing.
"As for why he isn't here, maybe that can adequately be explained by his current presence in the infirmary, Miss Schnee." The instructor stated drily.
"In my defence, I gave him a warning not to insult my chest size." Weiss retorted. "N-Not that I'm insecure about my perfectly adequate chest! It's decent-sized, alright?!"
"Whether your chest size is adequate is irrelevant. My decision still stands and that is final-"
"Professor Goodwitch!" Ruby called from the corridor. The instructor stood up from her seat and gave Weiss a stern look.
"Do not leave while I deal with Miss Rose." Glynda strolled outside, walking over to a nervous Ruby.
"Miss Rose, what is it? I am very busy dealing with your teammate."
"I...uh...wanted to give you a gift!" Ruby presented Glynda with a flower-shaped gem barrette. Glynda examined it closely.
"Hm...a replica of Mami's barrette?"
"Yeah!"
The inspector placed it in her hair, nodding slowly. "Hm. I...don't know what warranted such a gift, but-"
Suddenly, a rumbling began to fill the corridor- a rumbling of feet.
"THERE SHE IS"
"Excuse-" Glynda hardly had time to finish her sentence before a large group of fanboys and fangirls, all wearing various Mami-related gear, carted her up and dragged her away, chanting in what sounded like Mami's theme tune.
"W-what in the- th-this was an antic!" Glynda yelled as she was dragged away. "YANG XIAO LONG!"
"Sorry!" Ruby waved at her slowly. "I-I'll make it up to you, Professor! I promise!"
Meanwhile, Yang climbed in through the classroom window nearest Weiss, surprising the heiress.
"Y-Yang! What are you doing here? Why was Glynda yelling your name?" Weiss inquired, before holding a finger up. "Actually, don't answer that, I don't think I want to know why she was screaming your name."
"I came to entertain you!" The brawler responded, chuckling. "As for that other thing...I kinda set the Mami Tomoe Appreciation Club on Glynda."
"The what?"
"An old club appreciating that girl from Puella Magi, the one with the ribbons and the muskets." Yang said, chuckling. "I still can't believe we have that club! I thought they shut it down back in Volume 1."
"She doesn't, and she never even WENT to this school!" Weiss complained. "W-what's up with that?!"
"Apparently Coco's a member. And Sun." Yang studied the club's stolen ledger. "Hm. Anyway."
She whipped out her scroll, grinning at Weiss.
"Let's read some fanfic!"
"...has it occurred to you that breaking me out of detention might be a good idea before you do that?" The heiress sarcastically remarked.
"Shush, you. We're on the other side of the campus from here and Blake'll be here with our ride soon." The brawler stated as Ruby ran in, shutting the door behind her.
"Rubes! Get over here!"
"I just made sure nobody'll go here before we started." Ruby strolled over to the pair. "You guys found a fanfic yet?"
"I refuse to believe you morons kidnapped Professor Goodwitch and broke into my detention just to read fanfics with me." The heiress muttered. "Although how I still refuse to believe it escapes me."
"Okaaaay." Yang tapped at the scroll, looking through the DustFiction archives.
"Yangilocks and the Three Fauna?" The brawler tapped her chin briefly. "Sounds interesting! We're reading this!"
"...Of course we're going to read it because your name is in the title." Weiss rolled her eyes, sighing.
"Well, it's not like I'm doing anything else, anyway. Fine, hit me with it."
"Hah!" Yang grinned triumphantly. "I always win. You love me too much not to read awesome fics about me~"
"Moron." Weiss rolled her eyes, shaking her head at her teammate's narcissism.
"...this sound familiar or what?" Yang pointed out as their in-story selves talked in detention, smiling.
"The difference, Xiao Long, is that Bronzewing deserved to be slapped in the face and our story selves were morons for holding a food fight!" Weiss snapped irritably.
"Oh, I remember this food fight..." The brawler snapped her fingers. "That was hilarious..."
"That was stupid."
"You got involved! You don't get to complain."
"...s-shut up, you dunce..." Weiss crossed her arms, blushing, causing Ruby to hug her tightly.
"G-gah! Ruby!"
"I HAVE to snuggle you! You're so cute when you act like that..."
"G-gah...m-moron..." The heiress looked away from her girlfriend in embarrassment. "W-why do you have to act so s-stupid..."
Yang thumped her chest proudly. "Damn straight I'm awesome! I can tell stories AND make them up!"
"Such talents are wasted on the incurably perverted." Weiss quipped.
"Or are they?"
"I am NOT going to stop reading this stupid fanfic to listen to stupid perverted stories you might have." Weiss grumbled.
"To be fair, Yang did use to tell me a lot of stories back when Mom was teaching in Mistral..." Ruby noted. "She and Mom always had good stories."
"Yeah. Which reminds me, we have to call Mom later, okay?" Yang reminded her sister. "She's coming back from Mistral and teaching closer to home now so Dad won't be lonely."
"For a moment there, I thought you were talking about Summer." Weiss sighed.
"Yin's as much my mom as my real mom is." Ruby declared fondly. "Just like Yang will always be my sister."
"...I see." The heiress nodded briefly, and for a moment, the mood seemed sombre in the room.
Within moments, it was broken once more.
"Personal favourite story?" Weiss raised an eyebrow. "Oh dear Oum it's going to be stupid and perverted.
And Goldilocks, too? This story will be absolutely ruined, I can already feel it."
"Oh come on," Ruby pleaded. "Have some faith in Yang!"
"Stupid and perverted just happen to be a Xiao Long trademark!" Yang gave her a thumbs up, grinning.
"You were saying, Ruby?" Weiss retorted, before glaring at the brawler. "As for you, have you no shame?!"
"Nope!"
"Sexy?" Weiss' eyelid twitched. "SERIOUSLY?!"
Yang smiled seductively at her. "You know you can't resist me, Weiss~ I'm just too beautiful~"
"Beauty and chest size are not directly linked, idiot."
"I might beg to differ~" The brawler responded. "And you're just jelly~"
"J-just read the stupid story, you moron!" Weiss snapped, knowing she would lose the banter contest if she tried to engage Yang.
"Self-aggrandizing tripe..." The heiress muttered. "Sounds about right."
Yang pouted. "Meanie."
"Hey, look, they even put my puppy dog face here!" Ruby said, laughing. "At least they got me right!"
"Self-aggrwasomething that only Weiss can pronounce." Yang waved her hand dismissively. "Yep, sounds like her, alright. They got me right, too."
"Narcissistic and obsessed with your chest size?" Weiss helpfully pointed out.
"Completely awesome and flawless."
"My point's proven, it seems."
"MEASUREMENTS THAT CAN TURN A- YAAAAANG"
Yang was in the middle of laughing herself breathless.
"Oh my...hah!" The brawler shook her head. "You know what, screw Mami, I deserve an appreciation club!"
Weiss facepalmed, shaking her head. "This is utterly ridiculous."
"Snow?" Ruby raised an eyebrow. "Belle? Way to make things original, Yang."
"Your words wound me so, dear sister!" Yang pretended to have been speared through the heart, collapsing backwards dramatically in her chair.
The heiress grumbled. "It's true. And why did you make me a fox Faunus? If anything, I'd be a shark! Sharks are superior animals to pathetic little foxes!"
"Fox would be offended if he heard you say that." Yang pointed out with a giggle.
"Screw him, he's a pervert like you." Weiss scoffed. "Creative license my backside...random, my backside..."
"At least Yang's not making the obvious joke here." Ruby pointed out helpfully.
"Oh, Oum, no..." Weiss groaned in exasperation as Yang breathed in.
"What does the Weiss say? Yip yap yi-"
"IF YOU COMPLETE THAT SONG I WILL PERSONALLY END YOU" Weiss roared, only causing Yang to burst out into laughter.
"Complete moron..." Weiss chided Yang. "Do you know how hard it is to get Grimm fur?"
"Well, to be fair, Nora's mom does own a cape made from Boarbartusk hide..." Ruby pointed out helpfully. "Although I have absolutely no idea how she got that thing..."
"It's Nora's mother." The heiress explained. "I'm all but sure they're insane enough to ignore reality if it meant they served the sloth god better or something."
"Damn straight, sister!" Yang called out, agreeing with her fairy-tale self within the fanfic. "I mean, seriously, can you believe shampoo prices? And they don't even sell bottles in bulk anymore!
I mean, don't they understand that a girl like me needs to maintain her hair?"
"Yang, read the fanfic. Now." Weiss commanded her, inducing a sigh from Yang.
"Sheesh, okay, miss bossyboots." Yang did so, shaking her head.
"...I am NOT that stupid!" Weiss yelled. "I can understand a story's purpose and I can suspend my disbelief! Even if the protagonist is a narcissistic pervert..."
"I'm offended that he thought I was a terrible cook." Ruby said, frowning. "I can cook better than Yang!"
"In my defence, dad tried to teach me!" Yang protested. "I just..." She rubbed the back of her head sheepishly. "Didn't pay attention!"
"Moron..." Weiss chided her again, grumbling.
"And seriously, there are three chairs, three bowls and three of everything." The heiress rolled her eyes. "How you still didn't see that three people lived there escapes me.
And now I know why I didn't like fairy tales."
Yang laughed. "Your childhood must've been boring then."
"No, just not full of inane tales like these. " Weiss corrected her, before staring angrily at one portion of the screen.
"And I AM NOT SO OBSESSED WITH HOW CLEAN MY CLOTHES ARE!
I AM A HUNTRESS! I CAN ACCEPT MY CLOTHES GETTING MUDDY!"
"When Blake is the sanest person there, you know a tale is inane." Weiss remarked. "And I am not so barbaric I would resort to slitting someone's throat in their sleep! Please, I am FAR more honorable."
"Trying to use this to teach you a lesson?" Yang scoffed. "No way, it wouldn't work. One, I'd be too badass for you three to kill anyway, and two, it's not like you'd learn!"
"I have nothing to learn from you anyway." Weiss remarked drily.
"Nah, you're just not worthy of being myPadawan, young Jedi." Yang shot back playfully.
"If I knew what those meant, I'm sure I'd be offended."
"Man, that story was bad." Ruby complained. "Why didn't Goldilocks turn around and blow everyone up like a badass?"
"Exactly!" Yang agreed. "That was such a boring ending to that."
Weiss stared at them, dumbfounded.
"...what in the...y-you MADE UP the stupid story, moron!"
"I did, but it lacks a certain oomph to it, you know?" The brawler responded, gesturing somewhat. "Needs more explosions."
"I'm not even surprised that that's what you're disappointed about." The heiress stated.
"...and HAH! In your face! I proved you like stories! Just like the real you does!" Yang declared proudly, pumping her fist. "Hell yeah!"
"I don't like real stories, moron!" Weiss responded. "I o-only read them because y-you idiots drag me with you when you do?"
"Ah, but how about the many times you read a story by yourself?" Yang pointed out helpfully.
Ruby leaned in. "Or when you wanted to write your own story?"
"Or that time-"
"URUSAI URUSAI URUSAI!" Weiss yelled, before sighing her loudest sigh yet.
"FINE! I GET YOUR POINT! ARE YOU HAPPY?! I SWEAR, I WILL DO WHAT MY STORY SELF DID AND COME AFTER YOUR HAIR, YAN-"
Weiss was cut off by Yang staring intensely and deeply into her eyes.
"Don't say another word." The brawler calmly stated, her eyes drilling into Weiss' very soul.
At this point, the heiress felt more than a little uncomfortable. She felt her heart flutter.
"...I've been tolerant of your threats until now, Weiss. Very tolerant." Yang clarified, her voice as calm as possible.
"If you threaten my hair again, here is exactly what I'm going to do.
I will kill myself. And when my soul finds itself in the burning Hells, so help me, I will conquer them. From within the darkness, I will lash together an infernal, eternal engine from the souls of the dying and the screams of the innocent, and fuelled by revenge, this damned engine shall be the drill that pierces the skies of Hell itself.
I will find you. That is certain.
As I slip through the vortex, bathed in daemonic energies, you will scarcely glimpse at my divine radiance before you are reduced to salt and ashes. Then, as tears of flame stream down my face, my dark work will begin, and all will be ashes.
I will sing the song that ends the Earth. And all the mighty shall look upon my works and despair.
My hair is not to be messed with. Am I clear, Weiss Schnee?"
Weiss gulped, somewhat horrified. "Y-yes..."
Yang reverted back to grinning. "Excellent! I guess we're at an agreement!
Now, who leaves the review?"
From: Little Sun Dragon-Sempai
omg best fic i love it pleae write more
love yang
ps. weiss loves it too bny the wat its cute
Ruby sighed in relief. "We actually managed to f-"
"Finish that?" Glynda stepped into the room, dishevelled and irritated. Yang waved at her.
"Professor! Uh...hi-"
"You three are staying in here until dinnertime. That is an order!"
Suddenly, however, Blake appeared with the Lagann, floating out of the window.
"Blake!" Ruby waved at her. "You came! Get us in!"
The catgirl lowered the flying mecha slightly, opening up the canopy. "Jump in!"
Team RWBY did so, reuniting with their final member as Glynda ran to the window, shaking her fist.
"Yeah!" Blake cheered. "We got away!"
"Hah!" Yang scoffed. "I doubt they'll-"
Suddenly, the Lagann stopped moving forwards.
"Huh?" Weiss looked up at the canopy, to see a grappling hook hooked into the gap.
Ruby stared at it as well. "What the..."
"Oh, you two should've thought about trying to escape detentions." Beth Lupin, resident caretaker, kept her grappling hook ready and pulled the Lagann back to the window, before wrenching the canopy open and revealing a sheepish Team RWBY.
Beth sighed, passing the grappling hook to the instructor. "Solve that, I've got to go clean up something downstairs."
Glynda glared at them, clutching her grappling hook tightly.
"Do you have anything to say for yourselves?"
A pause.
Yang shrugged. "...we're sorry?"
Five minutes later...
"...and now we're stuck in detention for the rest of the afternoon!" Weiss complained, glaring at Yang. "This is all your fault! Why'd you break in in the first place!"
"I didn't know it'd go that wrong!" The brawler complained.
"...oh, well, at least we can always go to story-
"NO"
END
A/N: That's done! Another shout-out to The Layman for allowing me to write about his story!
Next time, Weiss Reacts to Mafia!
I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, suggestions, thoughts, criticisms and reviews and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!