Okay so if a prisoner hated the typical correctional officer, the latter would either be overjoyed or wouldn't bat an eyelid. Me...? I felt awful, horrible actually. I know it was an accident but come on, if I hadn't been snooping around trying to find out what she was reading about, this wouldn't have happened.
Still very annoyed at myself, I went on my way to Nichkhun's office to see if I could at least do something to put it right and after a firm knock at the door, I entered.
"Tiffany! Hey!" That greeting was a little too excitable for me this morning.
"Hello," I bowed my head in respect before grabbing a seat opposite him and letting out a sigh.
"Why the long face beautiful?" If I could roll my eyes I would have. I was not in the mood for this guy right now but it had to be done.
After seeing his expression, I thought about how it was obvious that I seemed a little down so I put a fake smile on my face. In his eyes, no officer should feel this way, guilty because of a silly thing like breaking an inmate's bloody book and he was completely right. I shouldn't be feeling this way, but I was and I wanted to fix it.
"I'm fine," I replied. "I was just wondering whether an item bought from commissary could be replaced if an officer somehow, I don't know...ruined something?"
He frowned in confusion so to show him what I meant, I lifted up the book cover I had in my hands and let it fall down with a thunk on his desk.
"Whose was this?" He asked as he picked it up with the tip of his thumb and index finger as if he was picking up the dirtiest thing imaginable. I frowned at that.
"I don't know her name," I replied. "The one who resides in the last room of the North-East unit?"
"You know it's just a book right Tiff? It doesn't really matter, she can just buy another." Exactly what I thought he'd say.
"I'd prefer replacing it sir, I'll of course pay out of my own money." I went to get up but he stopped me with a hand atop of my own.
"No, no. Let's pull out her file, find out who it is then I'll go and talk to commissary okay?" He smiled, trying to make me feel better. It worked at least and while hoping that this silly little mess would be cleared up soon, I relaxed back in the chair and let out a subtle relieved sigh. "What time is your next job?"
"It's uh...an hour and a half away" I replied after checking my watch. Plenty of time to sort this out.
"Perfect." I watched as he went through one of the many filing cabinets in his room which were sorted nicely by the unit in which the inmate lived and then the surname. "Last room..." He mumbled under his breath, talking to himself as he flicked through file upon file until he reached one more or less in the middle. "This her?" He asked, opening it and flashing me her mug-shot. I suppressed a smile and nodded, leaning a little closer to look for her name but before my eyes could adjust he took it away. "Kim"
"Kim..." I gave him the hint to continue the name, my curiosity rearing it's ugly, damaging head again but unfortunately he didn't tell me...or ignored me, one or the other.
"Okay, so I'll ring up commissary and ask if they have anymore of these." He picked up the cover again to take it with him as he walked out of the room.
That file of hers was still on the desk, just staring at me. I wanted to read it, reallywanted to read it, I wanted to know her name as well as what she did to end up here, her age and pretty much everything. Why was this particular prisoner making me so fucking antsy as well as curious all the time? I had no idea but I'd like to think it'd be the same if it were another prisoner's file here.
To get my mind off of it, I tried to concentrate on something, anything. There was an assortment of empty energy drink cans on his desk that really needed to be thrown away, his work computer as well as his nice macbook were over to the corner of the desk, her file...
Looking over my shoulder and still hearing his voice which told me he was in the middle of a conversation, my hands lifted from my lap of their own accord and rested on the table, just inches away from that file. It would only take a minute just to find out her name, age and what she did. All of that information was in the same section so with tentative arms, I reached out to grab it while listening intently for the slightest noise...which happened soon after in the form of the door opening quietly. My hands were back in my lap in an instant, at least I'd been trained to have quick reflexes.
"I forgot her name didn't I," Nichkhun scoffed, walking back in with the cordless phone to his chest whilst rolling his eyes. I chuckled nervously in response, thank god he didn't see anything. I wasn't sure what would happen if I had been caught. Would I have been fired because surely, those files are confidential unless he shared them with me. But then again I couldn't just ask him what her name, age and the crime she committed was...it'd make me seem too eager and may look like we had something going on which was incredibly ridiculous but, he didn't know that.
I watched as he opened up the file and when he wasn't looking, I shifted in my seat and squinted a little, trying to catch just any small detail but it was no use. It was both funny and completely ridiculous that I was still trying to look even after that near miss I just had with him, curiosity is a bitch sometimes I swear.
"Kim Tae..." He mumbled quietly. What was that last part? I didn't hear...
I leaned forward in hope he'd say it again but he raised his eye-line and looked at me with a weird expression, one that said 'are you doing what I think you're doing?'
"You like these too?" I asked, pointing at the redbull cans on his desk which were in the same direction as the file, thinking of anything to get me away from suspicion. I wasn't guilty of anything except breaking someone's property but I had to keep telling myself to stop trying to get into more trouble.
He smiled and took the file over to the cabinet again. I fully expected him to slot it back into place amongst the other's...but he didn't. Instead he left it lying on top of them and it stuck out like a sore thumb to inquisitive eyes like mine. "I do, yeah." He replied
There was a slight silence so I tore my eyes away from the file or what he thought was the cans and looked up at him to see he was raising his overly-bushy eyebrows expecting a reply to something "Sorry?" I asked, wondering what he had said.
"I asked if you wanted one." I shook my head to reply. "Are you okay?" He asked with a serious tone. "You seem somewhat distant."
"Oh I'm fine, just lost myself for a second there. Sorry sir."
"It's okay," he smiled and came over, leaving the file behind and went out of his way to reach his hand under the desk to pat my thigh. As I clenched my jaw, I tried to smile but it must have come off looking weird because his own smile dropped and he awkwardly stood up, clearing his throat. "I'll be back in a bit" he said while straightening his tie, walking out the room once more and leaving me with my thoughts.
She's a prisoner...she's nobody to you and she deserves her own privacy. Privacy you've already tried to penetrate through her books, doesn't she deserve her confidentiality regarding her private information?
Well of course she does... Okay I'm going crazy, I'm actually talking to myself now. I closed my eyes, trying to hold in the groan of mixed frustration and from the headache forming from the indecisive right and wrong voices hassling me.
I was there close to fifteen minutes with nothing but that file and those voices keeping me company. Once I had made a decision, and the debate in my head had ended, reassuring myself yet again that Nichkhun had already been gone for fifteen minutes and that he'd be away longer I got up to look around the room. I was getting closer and closer to that filing cabinet as I circled the desk.
There were photos of him with what looked to be his family, friends...girlfriend. Ha, he has a girlfriend yet he's still flirting, what a jerk.
I stopped when I suddenly found myself at that cabinet and my hands literally sweating from the attempts to stop from grabbing it. Even if I just knew her name it would be better, this pent up curiosity would be gone. Kim Hae - something I think it was.
You know what? Fuck it.
I grabbed that file and opened it up. As I was scanning the information at the top, I stopped to look at her photo before trailing my eyes down and seeing the word 'name'. But as I looked across and started to read, the rapid creaking sound of someone opening of the door caused me to drop the file and spin around, fearing being caught yet again. For fucks sake Tiffany! I cursed myself, so fucking stupid! I'm fired.
I think I would have preferred if it was Nichkhun who had caught me but it wasn't, it was her. She was standing by the slightly ajar door looking from me to the file on the ground with a raised eyebrow and very suspicious eyes. Soon hearing Nichkhun's voice again, I quickly picked it up and threw it back on top of the other files before walking back around and returning to my seat, avoiding her eyes completely.
"Okay Kim," I heard Nichkhun say as he finally made his entrance "To replace an item we are going to have to put in a form to the commissary." Breathe normally, just because her eyes are on you doesn't mean you can't breathe, you have to act like everything is natural...she doesn't know anything.
She shook her head and Nichkhun tutted at the gesture before telling her that she'd have to communicate right now, the face she pulled afterwards made it seem as if talking was a chore but I eventually heard that voice again.
"There's no need," she replied, her voice much quieter and softer than the tone she had used with me previously.
He looked over at me and I shook my head, a sign for him not to listen to her. "Tiffany's made it very clear that she wants to replace your book so if you'll take a seat, it will only take a moment."
I heard her scoff but then finally obey, sitting down beside me as her scent invading my nostrils.
The moment I saw her looking at me in my peripheral vision, I swallowed an overflow of saliva and looked over to Nichkhun who was now going over to the filing cabinet. Shit. Shit. Shit.
"Alright so to fill that out..." he said as he pointed to the form in front of her before handing her a pen."You'll need your details like your ID number etc etc and that can be found in your file so I'll..."
The rest of what he said passed through one ear and out the other, none of it registering. All I could focus on was how through my small and sneaky glances directed at her, they showed her watching him pick up that file, and then her looking back to me with what looked to be a confused expression to start with, which then quickly turned to anger when she put two and two together.
"Wait... that's my file?" She asked, studying what he had in his hands while squinting like I had previously done.
"Yes, why?" He replied.
I refused to look in those eyes right now for I'd surely die or turn to stone or something. I could feel she was staring right at me and only underneath a stern facade could I wince and wish for a hole to come and swallow me up right about now. Maybe her crime was she burned a person to death simply from her laser-like eyes...If so I'd surely be next on her hit-list.
"Is something wrong?" Nichkhun asked. Her answer took way too long for my liking and I was ready to admit defeat, telling my boss that I had maybe tried to sneak a peek at an inmate's confidential records. It was as if she was waiting for me to say it to him, she was giving me the chance to confess but being stubborn as I am, I couldn't go down without a fight.
"Nothing is wrong." I butt into the question directed at her, my voice almost breaking. Feeling her gaze on me yet again, I bowed my head and waited for the words that would soon come from her mouth, waiting for the inevitable.
"Kim?" Here we go...bye bye career. There was another long, very long silence before she answered.
She shook her head and said..."Nothing." Wait, what? "Everything is fine."
I had no idea why she was doing this for me but if I could have hugged her, I would have right now. She shook her head as a finalisation for what she had said and I found it hard to control my relief. She saved my skin and although she was most definitely still glaring at me which was completely understandable, I was very grateful to her. Again I don't know why she'd done it even after what I'd done to one of her prized possession's but it made me want to get this book business out of the way as soon as possible so we could both move on with our lives.
"Okay..." Please don't sound suspicious Nichkhun I begged inwardly. I didn't know whether I could take any more suspense but luckily soon afterwards he dropped it.
"Fill that form out quickly Kim and then I'll send you and Tiff-Officer Hwang on your way to the commissary." If he keeps calling me Tiff I swear I'll-
I heard her snort beside me, interrupting my thoughts and I closed my eyes for the hundredth time that morning, just willing for today to be over soon. Unfortunately it had only just started and I had yet to be introduced to the real Kim beneath her innocent facade.
Looking at my watch before heading off, I saw I had only a half hour left. The hour had flown by in that room due to the feeling of impending doom that had loomed over me. It was my fault completely though, I'd never known myself to lack such self control like that. I don't know what it was about this girl, but she was most definitely a mystery that I longed to work out.
"Come on." I half asked and half ordered her, unsure of whether she'd comment on the happenings back in that office or whether she would just sweep it under the rug and forget about it, as well as also forgiving me. I hoped it was the latter but as I led the way, that hope was crushed as soon as she opened her mouth.
"So 'Tiff', how was my file?" She said in a tone you could only describe as cold. I couldn't help stumbling after hearing that because it wasn't something I would have even imagined her saying nor did it fit her personality...the one I clearly knew nothing about. With an awkward clearing of my throat, I began walking again albeit listening out for any other thing that could come from her mouth so I wouldn't embarrass myself like that again.
"Excuse me?" I asked, trying to hide the tremor in my voice. I had been so fucking stupid and now she, a prisoner could potentially have something on me "I've no idea what you're talking about." I looked over my shoulder at her to show her my now fake confident expression, later adding... "And that's Officer to you."
She said nothing, she just smirked and chuckled once while I clenched my fists and tried to calm down as it became quiet again. We walked past a bunch of inmate's who upon sight of her, scattered and once they were out of earshot... "You seem to be snooping around a lot lately don't you?"
"Again, no idea what you're talking about." I replied quickly and walked faster only to halt my steps when she appeared in front of me making me stand only inches in front of her face. After taking a big step backwards, I lifted my head high, determined not to be seen as small by this certain individual.
"I've seen you." She smirked. Thinking about her behaviour and her willingness to talk all of a sudden, maybe this girl was bipolar, should I take her back to Nichkhun and insist on having her psychologically tested? Or maybe she had multiple personalities. What if she was one of those murderers who's one personality did all the killing while the others were nice and innocent? What if-
"You also seem to have a particular interest in my reading preferences when you're not breaking my books." Her glare was intense but I didn't dare look away for that would make me seem weak. That is a word I refused to be associated with.
"I'm replacing your book free of charge now stand aside." I took a step forward thinking, or hoping she'd move but she didn't. A step to the left proved that she wasn't going to let me go so easily as she thwarted each attempt I tried to make.
"What is it that makes me so special to you hm?"
"Oh my god." I hissed in frustration. I needed to stop letting this girl get to me but she was right there, in my face and I knew she knew she was pissing me off. I could see it by the putrid smirk on her face.
"Why are you so nice to me?" She asked.
"I'm the same with everyone" I retorted.
"Am I your favourite?" That smirk got even wider.
"I don't do favorites." I growled to reply, stepping to the side again to try to leave but it proved fruitless for she blocked me once more. My fists clenched tighter as I began to get to the end of my tether.
"Mhm. So answer me this then. Have you been looking around the other inmates rooms like you have mine?"
Really? Was she accusing me of something? "Of course. I have to do a contraband search in each one."
She smiled slyly and then folded her arms. "That wasn't the question now was it? Have you been looking around the other inmates rooms like you have mine?" She repeated.
"I just told you the answer now move. Last warning." I was getting to be very uncomfortable with this constant questioning wanting nothing more than to leave.
"Do you go through their sketchbooks and smile?"
"..."
"Do you look at the description on each of their books wondering what type they are reading?"
"I don't know what you-"
"Do you go out to bookstores after work and buy the same book to feel closer to them...?"
My jaw dropped and with wide eyes I looked incredulously at her even though she was looking right back with a smug smile on her face. How the-?
"That's so unprofessional." She began to laugh. Laughing at me in the middle of the corridor where anybody could walk past and see.
Feeling the blush rising on my face, I decided enough was enough. "MOVE." I shouted and barged past her, hitting my shoulder quite painfully though it seemed I hadn't hurt her in the slightest judging by the chuckling she was doing as she followed close behind.
Remember the first day I talked about stereotypes? Yep, I had done exactly what I had originally tried to avoid here. I had perceived this girl to be a lonely and isolated prisoner that felt sorry for herself and was in need of help. What I really got was an egotistic asshole who had clearly found a new way to have fun, riling me up.
God knows what would happen next.