Chapter 11:

Under the light of a UFO

The Doctor sat at the console, idly flicking away at buttons. True, it wasn't actually Gallifrey, in the truest sense, he had shown to Artemis and the rest, but even so, seeing his home that way always made him remember what happened; it made him feel empty.

To banish the emptiness, he had taken a bit of snooping. By 'fixing a problem with the stabilizers', he really meant 'I'm going to take a peek at your computer files'. Something seemed to be upsetting Foaly, even before he saw the planet. And The Doctor, who could never control his curiosity, wanted to know more. Suddenly, a marked file appeared on the Console screen. It was marked in Gnommish, but the TARDIS' translator circuit made it read 'CLASSIFIED BY ORDER OF THE COUNCIL'.

''Now what do we have here?' The Doctor murmured to himself, and he clicked on the file…

Night had now fully descended on Fowl Manor. The fairies hiding away inside the house were now back out in the tents, running scans and tests on the object that was now closer than ever. Butler and Stockard, ever the soldiers, had taken to making rounds, in case some troublesome teenagers or nosy locals thought to sneak onto property.

The twins were kept busy throughout the day; they ran from tent to tent, eager to see what was happening inside before being shooed out. At one point, Myles tried to take apart one of Foaly's computers. Five Retrieval officers were needed to stop him from trampling the young Fowl. Beckett, meanwhile, had taken to digging tunnels with Mulch; unfortunately, he tried to dig tunnels exactly like Mulch. In the end, Juliet (thankfully) dragged them off to get ready for bed.

So busy was every one, that no one noticed the absence of two people; Artemis and Holly. While Holly as getting her sanity check, Artemis had made his way to the top of the manor. On the west wing of the manor, there was a section of roof that was slanted just enough to allow people to lay down on it. Flanked by two tower turrets that provided privacy, it offered a spectacular view of the sky. Artemis had crawled out of the French window, laid down on the shingles, and waited. And ten minutes later, Holly crawled out the window.

''There you are'' she grunted, slithering out of the window. ''I'm glad your communicator's got a GPS.''

Artemis chuckled. ''Really?''

Holly nodded, crawling out to Artemis. ''Foaly's idea.'' She laid back on the shingles next to her friend. ''So what's on your mind, Arty boy?''

Artemis bit his lower lip. Best to handle this carefully, he thought. ''Well…'' he began slowly, ''I've been given it some thought, and I decided it would be best for you to know this…'' He took in a breath. ''Perhaps I should explain a little bit more first. You see, this has been bothering me for a while…''

(One month ago; The J. Argon Psychiatric Clinic)

Doctor Argon had been a psychiatrist for almost two centuries. He had had patients of all kinds. Schizophrenics, sociopaths, kleptomaniacs; nearly every kind of psychosis had made his way through his clinic. He had two centuries worth of patience; and yet this human was very close to driving him over the edge.

Artemis Fowl was no ordinary patient, though. The only human to ever manifest Atlantis Complex; it was quite something. And yet, it was excruciatingly hard. Other doctors and nurses would flock to his room to try and get a glimpse of the infamous genius. His friends at the LEP meant no reporters of any kind, and Argon could not talk about it without the threat of being arrested. His mother visited often, and that woman was paranoid; always looking over his shoulder, to make sure her baby was being treated with the best possible practices and medications.

And then there was the boy himself. Artemis Fowl was in the throes of his condition, flitting back and forth between his two personalities. When he was Artemis, he was, to say the least, insufferable. He seemed to think that he was the doctor, and Argon was the patient to be scrutinized. And when he was Orion, he was deluded, romantic loon.

Doctor Argon was in the interview room now, trying to go through his daily session with his famous patient.

''So, tell me Artemis,'' he began, ''how do feel right at this moment.

The boy in front of him rolled his eyes. '''How do I feel'? Honestly, Doctor, could that be any more cliché?''

Argon gritted his teeth, but kept a smile on his face. '' It's a simple routine question. I'm obligated to ask. So?..."

Artemis sighed. "Very well. I feel fine thank you. And you?"

Again, Argon gritted his teeth. This human was pushing his to his breaking point. And worse, he seemed to know that. "Fine, except for my hip acting up again. Now, continuing on where we left off yesterday…"

"Ah, yes. Getting in touch with my emotions. Perhaps we could hold hands, sing 'Kumbiya' around a fire? Or is that too professional?"

Argon could swore his teeth were getting smaller each time he grinded them. "Actually, no. There's something I've been curious about, and I was wondering-"

Suddenly, Artemis flipped his head back. His hands twitched a couple times, and then he seemed to relax. "Ah, the good physician" said Orion Fowl, beaming with saintly goodness. "Pray thee well, I hope?"

Oh, D'arvit, thought Argon. Aloud, he said, "Very well. However I was in the middle of talking with Artemis about something. Perhaps I could continue speaking with him?"

Orion tapped his head. "Speak what you would tell him, friend, and I will convey the message."

Argon sighed. "Fine. When I was talking with Captain Short she had said you had a certain emotional attachment with her?"

Orion went all dreamy eyed. "Ah, yes. My enchanting princess. What would you inquire about us, doctor?"

Argon shuffled his notes, trying to look more professional. "Well, giving that you are an alter ego of Artemis, this would mean that for you to have such an attachment, this would have to mean something transpired between him and Captain Short. Tell me, would you have any idea to what could have happened?"

In Orion's head, another conversation was going on between him and Artemis.

"I cannot believe that blithering witch doctor!" Artemis shouted. He turned to Orion, or rather, the mental image of Orion. "I demanded that you give me back control. I need to answer him."

Orion put on a confused face. "Why you? I share your memories, therefore I am as adequate to answer as you are."

Artemis was seething. "Because I know you" he rasped. "You won't tell him what I need to tell him. You'll tell him exactly what happened when Holly and I went back in time!"

"And why is that a problem, per say?"

"Because I know Argon! He's a bloody fame hound! Even if he doesn't tell the press, he'll tell Foaly, and then it will be up on centaur's website!"

Orion pretended to consider that. "You know, my dear fellow? You're absolutely right. I shouldn't say what exactly happened on that night most fraught with passion."

Artemis grinded his metaphorical teeth. "But you will, won't you?"

Orion nodded, grinning from ear to metaphorical ear. "Correct. I will tell him. You are intent on getting rid of me, and I know you will at some point. Therefore, I consider it the mission of my dwindling life to make yours as hard as humanly possible."

In the actual world, Argon stared at the human in front of him. "Earth to Orion. Are you still there, or are you Artemis?"

Orion had spaced out, but he roused back into attention. "Apologies, friend. I was just thinking of the answer to your question."

"DON'T TELL HIM!" Artemis yelled, as if Argon and Orion could hear him.

Orion leaned forward, motioning for Argon to do the same. "Tell me, Doctor," he whispered, "Can you keep a secret?"

(Fowl Manor, Today)

"You told him!" Holly screamed in Artemis' face. This was disastrous. If there was one thing she didn't need in her life, it was a scandal. And kissing a Mud Man was incredibly newsworthy.

Artemis shrugged, looking very guilty. "Technically speaking, it was Orion, not me."

Holly wagged her finger. "Don't you try that excuse, Artemis. It came out of your mouth, it's your fault."

Artemis let out a sigh. "In fairness, I was wrong. Argon never did tell anyone, much less Foaly. Thank God for doctor-patient confidentiality." Artemis rubbed his eyes. "Though I'm sure he'll put it in his next book on me, no doubt."

Holly felt like her stomach was dropping lower and lower. "Orion told him everything?"

"Everything. We spent a good couple hours discussing it, all three of us. Argon probed, I denied, Orion sang like a damn canary. If I had heard that gnome say 'latent emotions' one more time, I'd have throttled him."

That mental image gave Holly some comfort. She felt her lips, which were tingling like what had happened had happened yesterday. "Well, that's some bum news you've delivered, Arty. Be glad I don't have a gun, or shoot the messenger would apply here quite nicely."

Artemis smiled, but not like he usually does. "Holly…I also wanted to talk about…well, ever since I got out of Argons clinic, I've thought about… all the things he said, and…"

He didn't say anymore, because that was when he leaned over and kissed her.

One minute passed, two minutes passed. Maybe three. Finally, Artemis pulled away, keeping his eyes on Holly, who just sat there slacked jawed. She couldn't have been more surprised if Juliet said she was becoming a nun, Mulch went on a diet, and Foaly decided to revert to an Amish lifestyle. All on the same day.

The silence was deafening. Finally, Artemis spoke:

"I actually did not plan on doing that."

Holly stared at him. Then, she started to laugh. A small giggle at first, but soon it was a full on laugh. She kept laughing, and Artemis began to laugh too. They kept laughing, until they were on their backs, looking at the sky.

Artemis turned his head to Holly. "Sorry. Was that fairly awkward?"

Holly pretended to think. "Yeah, it was kinda awkward."

"…Did you enjoy it?"

"…I wouldn't say I hated it. Probably the best kiss I've had in a while."

"Good enough for me."

Holly shuffled a bit closer to Artemis, using his chest as a pillow. The sky was a deep blue-ish black, pin pricked by the stars. The light of the moon was overpowered by the light coming from the object, and to the two friends on the roof, it was the first time that it looked beautiful…

Luskar sat in the shadows, perched like a gargoyle on the left tower. It never occurred to Holly that a curious goblin would have wondered where she was going, and thought to follow her.

"They're quite cute together, aren't they?" came a voice from behind him. The Doctor stepped out of the shadows, and joined Luskar at the edge of the tower side.

Luskar shrugged. "Not for me to judge. What the Captain does is her business, not mine."

"And yet you followed her up here."

"As did you."

The Doctor chuckled. "Some things on my mind. I thought Miss Holly would be the best person to talk to." He looked down. "Though I don't think it's talking she's concerned with at the moment."

Luskar chuckled. "You fancy yourself as quite the comedian" he said.

The Doctor shrugged. "It helps to keep a positive outlook on life, especially my life. It also helps to surround yourself with good friends. At least, that's what I thought. Now it seems better to bum around on my own."

Luskar nodded. He could understand. Being part of Retrieval meant you had to keep looking over your shoulder for disgruntled criminals with a grudge. Made having a family especially hard. Considering whatever hell this man had been through…

Luskar scolded himself. Wallowing in self pity again. "You know you could just talk to Commander Kelp" he said.

The Doctor shook his head. "I'd rather talk to Holly."

"And why's that?"

The Doctor cringed. "I've never been fond of talking to military."

Luskar snorted a small fireball. "Oh, really?"

"Yes, really. I've never been fully able to trust them; too gung-ho."

"Really? And we can trust renegade Time Lords?"

An uncomfortable silence followed after that. "That was uncalled for," Luskar said finally, "Sorry."

The Doctor waved his hand. "No, you're right. Trust is quite frail; not something that you hand out as easily as I usually do."

Luskar was about to say something else, but he noticed something in the distance. It looked like two large fireflies, getting closer and closer as it sped down the road.

The Doctor noticed it too. "Now, what do you suppose that is?"

Artemis had noticed the lights too. He leaned out over the roof ledge, squinting out into the distance.

"What's up, Mud Boy?" Holly asked.

Suddenly, Artemis sat on his haunches, his skin two shades of white paler than it usually was. He swallowed hard, eyes wide.

"It's my parents" he said hoarsely. "They're back from Dublin."