A/N: Leave it to the Shadow King to get revenge when he wants to. This chapter is a request from a guest reviewer and Shortie87. It is also for my many readers who love Ranka! Enjoy!
#40…Flag pole – all you have to do is attach a flag and you're done.
#45…Door stop – to keep my door from closing when the windows are open and I have lost my door stop.
#47…Theft Deterrent – if a thief is brave enough to enter, they will get a beating. Nobody wants that.
It had been a nice and quiet day. Haruhi was visiting her fiancé's family for a couple of days during her spring break family because they were hosting a kendo tournament, and that meant that Ranka had the house to himself on a Thursday night. While he loved his daughter – to him it was an impossibility to not love her – he relished those moments when he didn't have to worry about anything…and that included her occasional lectures. Who was the parent in the relationship again?
But today…today he was free as a bird and the day was perfect. With mild spring temperatures and a gentle breeze blowing, he had left the windows open throughout the day. Of course, one door insisted on closing every time Ranka opened it, ergo, he grabbed the shinai that Haruhi had in her room and used it as a doorstop. No more slamming door.
Ranka should have known his good fortune would soon be ending, and if it wasn't for the fact that murder is illegal, he might have… (Dear reader, I am getting ahead of myself. I will tell you what happened and then you can either choose to sympathize with Ranka or the other party).
Cold sake and a clear night greeted Ranka that night. He thought he had to go into work, but the bar was slow and when his boss asked if anyone wanted to go home, Ranka decided to volunteer – something he rarely did. Therefore, after going in at 3:00, he was home by 4:00 and once again opened the windows to allow the cool breeze to keep him company.
Once the sun started to go set and the apartment began to be swallowed by darkness and shadows, he should have probably turned on a light, but he didn't. The sake had given him a good buzz and he was enjoying himself…besides, the T.V. cast a big enough light that if he needed to go to the kitchen, his path was lit up in blues and reds. It worked for him. (Dear reader, this is when everything started to fall apart.)
A slightly inebriated Ranka was drinking his cold sake and watching a program on T.V. and laughing his head off, and he would have continued to do so if he hadn't heard a small crash. It sounded as if it came from the other room…Haruhi's bedroom. Gasp. Could it be an intruder? He had to protect his daughter's chastity even if she wasn't there physically. Rushing towards her bedroom, he grabbed the shinai he was using to prop open the door and barged into Haruhi's room. There he found a person dressed in black wearing a black ski mask climbing in through the window. He didn't ask questions, did not stop to collect $200 (dear reader, I was playing monopoly recently. Lol), and did not think about his actions. He was mama bear protecting his cub.
Screaming at the top of his lungs, he lifted the shinai over his head and started swinging. If the thief's hands got in the way, they got hit too. It would serve him/her right for breaking into someone's home. "Don't worry Haruhi! Daddy is protecting you! Take that! And that! How dare you break into my home! We are poor and don't have much and I will not allow you to take anything that belongs to my little girl!" Ranka cried out. He was unaware of anything beyond beating up the intruder.
When the would-be thief stopped struggling (dear reader, it was more like he stopped moving and it seemed like he was dead), Ranka tied him up using the cord from Haruhi's bedside lamp and then removed the mask…and to his surprise blond locks greeted him. Yes, dear reader, Tamaki was the intruder. Due to this and for good measure, Ranka hit him one more time.
Once he was done incapacitating the blond, he heard scuffling near the open window and found a white flag attached to a shinai waving back and forth. "Who's there?" He demanded.
Hearing the fatherly growl, Hikaru and Kaoru removed their own masks and stood up. "Well, I guess this plan failed," Hikaru nervously laughed.
His brother grimaced, "You can say that again."
Crossing his arms while still holding onto the shinai, Ranka asked, "What the hell is going on here?" If he needed to, he would beat the twins as well…even if he liked them. It was the principle of the matter.
"W-Well, you see," Kaoru started and then looked at his brother.
Hikaru tried to explain, "The boss was in a panic because he hadn't heard from Haruhi in a couple of days."
Together the twins said, "So we came over to check on her."
"Dressed like that?" The father lifted one of his groomed brows and glared.
Gulping, the twins nodded. Suddenly their voices were caught in their throats.
He pointed towards Tamaki and then ordered the twins, "Get him and get out of here. I'm in a giving mood tonight (dear reader, the sake had put him in a good mood), so I won't call Kyoya, but if you come back, I cannot be responsible for my actions."
Never before had the twins moved so quickly. They jumped into the window and jumped out, dragging Tamaki with him. They were gone before Ranka could utter one more word.
Returning the shinai to the door to once again prop it open, the Fujioka patriarch returned to his seat in the living room, took a sip of sake, and started to giggle at something on the T.V. as if nothing ever interrupted his night.
The next day when Tamaki showed up at Kyoya's house, the Shadow King smirked and asked, "What did you do Tamaki?"
He didn't want to answer and instead Tamaki said, "Nothing. I fell through a window and then fell out of a tree." Of course he had asked the twins to lift him through Haruhi's window and it was wood from a tree that had beat him up.
"I see. I would recommend staying away from bamboo blades and redheads. They seem dangerous to your health," Kyoya smirked and chuckled as his friend turned into a pale statue and fell over, breaking into several pieces.