A/N: Thank you again for the reviews and all those that have followed my story. This was a difficult chapter to write. I had most of it done days ago but I just wasn't satisfied and kept tweaking bits and pieces. I know its still shorter than a lot of my chapters are but I didn't want to fill it with pointless stuff just for the heck of it. I hope you enjoy it.
ro781727: That dragon sickness is a sneaky devil.
decadenceofmysoul: Welcome! I'm glad you're enjoying it!
MyPetalHeart: I'm glad you liked it. I truly love the little bit we see of Erebor in the movie and I wish they had shown more of it. Its fascinating to think that the dwarves carved a whole city into a mountain. I tried to visualize what that would look like.
As always, everything except Rhae belongs to Tolkien and PJ.
Cold winter sunlight did stream into the chamber from the balcony the next morning. Rhae stretched contentedly as she woke, confused for a moment about where she was and why there was so much light. Opening her eyes the carved posts of the huge bed reminded her of the night before. She was in their chambers, their home in Erebor. Turning slightly she noticed that the bed next to her was empty, causing her to frown faintly. She had kind of expected to wake up next to her husband after their first night in their home. Shrugging she curled up tighter under the blankets deciding to enjoy the comfort and the quiet. It had been a long time since she'd had either. Her mind wandered to the previous night and felt a blush cross her cheeks. Thorin had been quite ... enthusiastic in his lovemaking, though she certainly didn't mind. Rhae was discovering that the tales of dwarven stamina were true. Some of the words he'd uttered during the night flashed through her mind, words cried out in Khuzdul that she'd been too busy to think about at the time. Now she was able to translate most of them though there were a few that she wasn't sure about. One that had been repeated frequently, amé, caused a grimace to cross her features. Mine, mine, mine; he had said it throughout the night and not exactly in a loving way. The tone of his voice had been similar to what she'd heard the day they arrived in Erebor and found him in the treasure hall. Despite the blankets she shivered a bit at the thought of that serpent-like sound. There had been an added possessiveness in his actions the night before that worried her.
Trying to shake off that feeling of concern she sat up quickly, focusing her attention on the opposite side of the chamber. Eager to see the view beyond the balcony in the morning light she grabbed a blanket from the bed, wrapping it around her naked body, and padded over to the doors. The morning sun struck the crumbling and scorched ruins of Dale but she could easily imagine what this view must have been like before the desolation of Smaug. She wondered how long it would take for the earth to recover. It had been over a hundred years since that devastating attack and yet the ground was still barren. She had seen fires in nature during her travels as a Ranger, fires that burned great swaths of land bare and black, but within a year that land had begun to repair itself, new growth springing up from the ashes. Within a few years if not for the scorched bases of trees it would be almost impossible to know that a fire had even crossed the land. Here there wasn't even the hint of regrowth. Was a dragon's fire so hot that it even burned deep into the ground, making it impossible for anything to ever grow again? She hoped not.
She turned back into the room, a rumble in her belly informing her that it was time to stop standing around and find something to eat. Remembering that there was a kitchen she wrapped the blanket tighter around her and hurried down the hall, marveling again at the craftsmanship of dwarves. A whole house carved right into the mountain! A quick peek in the kitchen revealed that even though it had been cleaned it was empty. Rhae hurried back to the bedroom, finding her clothes where she'd left them on the floor the night before. After dressing she quickly pulled her hair into a long tail, leaving the braids Thorin had put there hanging free; seeing them gave her a measure of comfort. She hoped she wouldn't get lost while trying to find the rest of the company. A yelp of surprise escaped her lips when she yanked the door open to find Nori standing there, his hand raised to knock.
"Good morning, lassie!" He grinned as he gave her a quick bow.
"Good morning to you as well. If I wasn't heading to find something to eat I'd invite you in."
"Oh no, my lady. I don't carry the blood of Durin in my veins. It wouldn't be right for the likes of me to enter the King's Residence." He actually seemed a bit flustered at her comment.
"Nori, let me make this as clear as possible. You are part of Thorin's company. You helped reclaim this mountain. You are also my friend. Any of those reasons is enough to allow you entry to my home and you will find a welcome here anytime."
"Well...well..." he stammered, at a loss for words. He finally recovered his wits and gave her a pleased smile. "I thank you, lassie. Now, I've been sent to lead you to breakfast."
"That's a bit of good news. I am certain I would have gotten lost trying to find my way back to the group." The dwarf chuckled, knowing the Ranger probably had the best sense of direction of anyone in the company.
Only Bombur was in the room when Nori led Rhae in, still lingering over the remains of breakfast. The dwarf handed her a bowl and she tucked into it, not really caring what she was eating.
"Where is everyone?" she asked between mouthfuls, even though she already knew that answer.
"Treasure hall. Thorin said to bring you down when you were done," Nori supplied as he reclined back in a chair, his feet propped on the table. She sighed with a roll of her eyes and he glanced at her with a knowing smirk. She knew what that meant. Thorin expected her to just sit in the gallery and watch the company search for that bloody gem. For not the first time she wished Gandalf was there; he would know what to do about this. Maybe.
"Lovely. Guess I'll go make my appearance as requested," she huffed, passing the bowl back to Bombur. She and Nori walked in silence for a bit before she spoke up.
"What does sanyasith mean?"
"Perfect wife."
She frowned a bit. "I am far from perfect."
There was a low chortle beside her. "Perhaps you think so, lass, but you fit with our moody king perfectly." She looked at him questioningly. "You stand up to him and give him a piece of your mind which no one, except his sister and the Fundins, have the bollocks to do. You're also a strong fighter which he respected from the beginning." She snorted a bit. "But besides all that, you make him happy. None of us can remember seeing Thorin smile as much as he has since you walked into our lives."
"Thank you," she told him as he brought her to the door into the gallery.
"No thanks necessary, lass." With those words he sauntered off to join the other members of the company down among the hills of gold.
Rhae sat there for a couple hours, watching the company in their hopeless search below. How Thorin expected them to find one blasted gem in that huge cavern was beyond her. It was like trying trying to find a single specific flea on a dog. Her husband joined her at some point, pacing around like a wild animal caught in a cage. As aggravated as she was at the whole situation she knew better than to question him right then. Not when he was near the gold. That darkness had seeped into him again.
"Why are you still wearing those clothes?"
She blinked in surprise, not sure if she'd heard him correctly. "Excuse me?"
"Those borrowed clothes. You shouldn't be wearing them now. You are a queen and you should be dressed as one." There was a possessive fire in his eyes as he observed her.
She stared at him in bafflement. "They are comfortable," was all she managed to stammer out.
"I would like for you to dress as befitting your station from now on. The others must not forget that you are my wife and queen. You are no longer one of them; you are above them." A look of trepidation crossed her face, though luckily he had turned back to the search.
"Any sign of it?" he yelled down to the other dwarves.
"Nothing yet," Dwalin answered.
"Nothing here," Nori called from further down.
"Keep searching!" Thorin ordered.
Oin looked up from where he was shifting through a small mound. "That jewel could be anywhere."
"The Arkenstone is in these halls - find it!"
Dwalin, loyal as always, turned back to the gold. "You heard him! Keep looking!"
Thorin glowered down at them. "All of you - no one rests until it is found."
Rhae cringed a bit at his words. When he was here, in this vast treasure hall, he was changed. The gold had him completely in its grip and even she could not reach him. He stomped out without another word to her, without even glancing in her direction. Bowing her head she studied her hands for a bit, caressing the wooden circle on her finger. How long ago that simple ceremony at Beorn's seemed now. How much things had changed. When she looked up she saw Bilbo leaving the halls and decided to follow him. She hadn't had much opportunity to talk with the hobbit since arriving in the mountain and sitting in the treasure hall day after day was grating on her nerves. Calling out to him he stopped to wait until she caught up.
"How are you Bilbo?"
"I'm fine..."
"You don't sound very sure about that."
The little fellow looked up at her and sighed. "I'm just worried."
"About Thorin." Her low voice somehow echoed through the hall and the hobbit winced slightly. It made her a bit sad to see that he seemed a bit afraid of catching the dwarf's attention.
"Yes." He sighed again, sitting down on a piece of column that had fallen in the dragon's first attack. "You weren't here to see. The gold's affect on him was almost visible, I could see it in his eyes. It was like a blanket trying to wrap itself around him. But he was able to fight it, kept pushing it back until -"
"Until he thought I had died."
Bilbo nodded sadly. "It was like his only wall of defense was gone." He fiddled with the frayed edge on his worn jacket. "He had us down there all day, every day, searching for the Arkenstone. I don't know if he ever left the treasure hall until you returned."
"I've noticed that the sickness seems to loosen its grip on him the longer he's away from that hoard but I think it's also projecting itself onto other things in his life."
"What do you mean?"
Bowing her head a bit, a sigh escaped her lips. "I mean me. I started to notice it some while we were still in Lake-Town but it has become harder to deny now that we are here." Rhae looked around the ruined halls. "It's like the sickness is making him more possessive of everything. Some of the things he's said since I got here ... if he's not obsessing over finding the Arkenstone he's obsessing over me."
"I wish Gandalf was here." Bilbo sounded so dejected that Rhae almost smiled.
"I have thought the same many times but I don't know if even he knows how to combat dragon sickness. He had hoped I would be able to keep Thorin from falling..." The guilt of that failure washed over her again and she put her head in her hands. "I don't know how or if I can pull him back."
He put a comforting hand on her back, not knowing what to say. It had been hard for him to watch Thorin's slow descent into madness but he knew it had to be much more painful for Rhae and his nephews to witness it. The sound of heavy footsteps caused her head to jerk up but they only saw Balin and Dwalin round the corner.
"Is everything alright?" Balin asked, his face concerned as the two dwarves approached.
Rhae nodded though it was clear that she was still troubled. "I just couldn't sit there any longer." She looked up at them. "Is the search over for the day?"
Dwalin shook his head. "No, lass. We're looking for Thorin."
"Did you find the stone?" She came to her feet in a flash.
"No," Balin said. "We just felt it was time to try and talk to him."
"I'm coming with you," she replied without hesitation. Balin seemed a bit uncertain but nodded.
They found him in the throne room. Rhae let out a soft cry. Gone were the borrowed clothes from Lake-Town. In their place was a black and gold tunic, a dark chain mail shirt over top of it, and trousers. A large gold belt sat at his waist. He had donned a heavy fur-lined robe that seemed to make him appear hunched over, as if the weight of the mountain was resting on his shoulders. It gave him a rather sinister appearance and she shivered. His back was to them as he stood before the throne, hands gripping the armrests. He gazed up at the indention where the Arkenstone had once sat, the massive claw marks slashing through the stone.
"Have you located it?"
"No," Balin told him after a long pause.
"It is here in these halls - I know it."
"We have searched and searched -"
"Not well enough!" Thorin interrupted Dwalin with a snarl.
The burly dwarf tried again. "Thorin we would all see the stone returned."
"And yet it is still not found!"
Balin frowned. "Do you doubt the loyalty of anyone here?"
Thorin turned slowly, taking a few steps towards the brothers, his movements heavy and almost menacing. Rhae held her breath. There was no hint of that sparkling blue in his eyes; they were dark with madness.
"The Arkenstone is the birthright of our people," Balin continued, his voice calm.
"It is the king's jewel." He fisted his hand in front of his chest, pointing at himself. "AM I NOT THE KING?"
He turned from them, casting a glare at where Bilbo stood next to Rhae. His eyes lingered on her, a dark hunger in them and she struggled to keep from taking a step or two away from him. She caught the look of worry descending on Balin's face behind the dwarf king.
"Know this," Thorin's growled. "If anyone should find it and withhold it from me I will be avenged." His parting words, spoken in such a chilling, calm way echoed through the cavernous space after he had left them. Rhae felt pain clutch at her heart. She took a deep breath and stared up at the ceiling, trying to fight the tears that wanted to come. Tears were not going to help anything. It felt like something was swirling around inside of her, desperate to get out. Her chest felt tight. A sound of frustration burst from her lips. She spun on her heels and strode away, knowing what would help her at that moment. The two dwarves and hobbit stared after her in confusion.
"Rhae! Lass! Where are you going?" Balin called after her. He was very anxious about how Thorin's changed behavior was affecting her.
"I need some time alone," she yelled back. Hoping she remembered which way to go she almost ran down countless flights of stairs, a tight smile crossing her lips when she found herself exactly where she wanted to be. Looking around she grabbed a sword from where it was hanging on the wall and stomped into one of the training rings, twirling the blade a few times to test its weight. Flexing her arms she faced one of the straw dummies in the center. After focusing on it briefly a battle cry issued from her mouth and she lunged. Rhae finally let herself go and all her pent up despair, anger, fear, and frustration came screaming to the surface. It wasn't long before the figure was in pieces at her feet and she turned to the second with a snarl, her blade tearing through the burlap. She didn't know what to do to fix this situation. Everything felt like it was spiraling out of control and she was helpless to stop it. Ever since her father had died she had held such a tight rein on her emotions and her life, never wanting to have that vulnerable, powerless feeling again. And here she was, more incompetent than ever.
"I. Was. Supposed. To. Save. Him!" she gasped out between swings. With each hit another scene from the past several months flashed before her eyes, moments between her and Thorin: that sparring match in the forest, the look on his face when he came upon her in the river, his kiss in Rivendell, the moment she realized he was alive on the Carrock, his words of love and adoration when he asked her to marry him. It hurt. It all hurt so bad. When the second dummy met the same fate as the first she faced the third. Tears were streaming down her face, blurring her vision but she still raised her shaking arms to strike again.
"Rhae."
Fíli tried not to stare in shock when she turned around, her face red from crying, wet from sweat and tears, her body shaking from exertion. He eyed the broken pieces of training dummy all over the ground in awe. She stood watching him in silence, the sword hanging limply from her hand, waiting for him to speak. She certainly had nothing to say.
"Why don't you take a break? I think you've killed them."
She just sank to the floor, bringing one knee to her chest to rest her head on. The pain had dulled slightly with her exhaustion, that horrible clawing feeling gone from her chest. Fíli approached carefully, seating himself beside her. He knew he couldn't ask if she was alright as it was plain as day that she was not. So he simply remained by her side, silently offering support.
"I'm sorry." Her voice was a raspy whisper a short while later.
"For what?"
"That you had to see that. That you had to see me like that."
He shook his head incredulously and patted her on the knee. "There is no need to apologize, Rhae. I understand, I do." He had heard her frantic words as she'd attacked the training dummies and knew he had to say something. "You are not to blame for what has happened to Thorin. I know you feel guilty but don't."
"If I'd been here -"
"If you'd been here, yes, you may have been able to keep him from giving in to the dragon sickness. You may have been able to keep him from the pull of the gold. But you weren't here. You did as your husband asked and remained in Lake-Town to protect the child that you carry. There is no shame in that. I agreed with Thorin then and I still do: it was the right decision for you to remain in town." She raised her head to look at him and - not for the first time - he wanted to hit his uncle for the sadness he saw in her eyes.
"It just hurts so bad. To look in his eyes and see that darkness there, to hear the horrible words of doubt and bitterness he flings out in his madness." She met his gaze. "He suspects someone in the company is hiding the Arkenstone from him. Thorin Oakenshield doubts the loyalty of the dwarves that have traveled across Middle Earth with him, suffered through so many dangers with him, fought and bled beside him. He doubts you."
Fíli nodded through his own pain. "I spoke with Balin before coming to look for you. He told me what happened in the throne room." He was glad he had not witnessed that scene. His resolve finally cracked and he pulled her to him, wrapping her within his arms comfortingly. "If anyone can save him, it's you Rhae."
"I don't know how. He is not the same dwarf. It's like he has completely forgotten his true identity, cloaking himself totally in the mantle of King Under the Mountain. And that madness isn't confined just to the gold. I think the sickness is causing him to be possessive of more than just Thror's treasure hoard."
"Meaning?"
"If he's not around the gold then I'm seeing that greed reflected on me. He doesn't want me out of his sight for long, seems jealous if I even talk to one of you. He even told me..." Her voice caught as she remembered what Thorin had said to her earlier that day in the treasure room. "He wants me to wear the dresses and jewels that are in that closet in our chamber. He said I should dress as his queen so that none of you could forget that I...that I am now above you." A long held worry, one she had tried to keep pushed far into the recesses of her mind, bubbled up and she couldn't stop the words from coming. "I'm terrified of what he might do if that jealousy and rage gets the best of him."
"You don't think...?"
"I don't know what he might or could do and that's what scares me so much, Fíli."
He didn't know what to say to assuage her worries as he didn't know what his uncle was capable of while in the grips of the dragon sickness. It broke his heart to see his uncle the way he was and the conversation he and Rhae had had while in Thranduil's dungeon came to mind. He had been right in his concern. They had retaken the mountain but had lost Thorin in the process. Filí felt completely helpless as he glanced down at the female in his arms. All he could do was hope that Rhae would be able to pull his uncle back from this edge he was tottering on.
"Come on. Let's go rejoin the others. I'm sure Bombur has something you can eat. And no arguing!" He stopped her when she was going to protest. "You have more than just yourself to worry about and you can't let your body get so worn down that you get sick."
"When did you start making so much sense, Fíli?" she said with a wry smile.
"Oh I've always been the sensible one. It's just that no one else ever noticed," he teased, helping her to her feet, feeling a bit relieved when he saw the real smile on her lips.
Unbeknownst to the two of them, their conversation had not gone unnoticed. Thorin had discovered the absence of his wife and nephew and had set out to find them, voices in his head whispering all manner of betrayal and treachery. Those voices almost got the best of him when he found Fíli sitting with Rhae in the middle of the training ring, almost spurring him to action when his arms went around her smaller form. For some reason he had paused before rushing at them and that's when he had noticed the broken training dummies, the sword on the ground, and the sound of Rhae's voice thick with tears. He had pressed himself into the shadows to listen and as he heard her words he felt clarity beginning to fight its way back into his head. That dark fog slithered away as he listened. The fury he'd initially experienced upon seeing what was before him steadily morphed into concern. He watched as his nephew helped her to her feet and escorted her back up the stairs.
Once the sound of their footsteps had faded he approached the remains of the training dummies, picking the sword up off the ground. While it wasn't the biggest or heaviest of weapons in the armory it was still heavier than her usual blade, requiring quite a bit of power to wield it. He inspected the cuts on the dummies and the pieces that littered the ground. Thorin knew just how hard a swing was needed to cut into those figures. He had known for quite a while the strength her small body contained but this? This spoke of more than just physical strength. The splintered pieces of wood around his feet clearly conveyed emotional pain. And based on Rhae's words, he was the cause. What had he done to hurt her in such a way that would propel her to lash out like she did? So many things were a blur in his mind, vague images of what had happened over the past few days were hazy. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't put a finger on anything he had done to her that would make her feel this way.
He slowly replaced the sword on a rack in the armory then began making his way back up to the residential section of the mountain. He needed to talk to Rhae, needed to find out what had happened to upset her so much, and what he could do to apologize. His steps were determined until he passed by the passage that lead to the treasure hall. The glow from the gold beckoned to him. A voice in his head urged him to return to it, that he needed to be in there in case any of the company meant to play him false. For several moments there was a struggle inside the dwarf king. Almost without being aware of it, he turned and headed towards the treasure. The voices in his head seethed with glee.
Revised/Edited April 2016