Weiss Reacts to Agents of Beacon!

A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Now, I TOTALLY forgot to do this, but, time for a shameless plug- I-I mean, you guys should totally read The Layman's 'Vivi's Adorable Misadventure'- about Vivi, badass plushie at law, falling into the canon RWBY- and The Zombineer's 'The Antic Order'- based on the Reactsverse, but with 100% less canon-ignorance! And now for more shameless plugs! We're going to react to Moczo and RadiantBeam's Agents of Beacon AU! If you guys are reading this right now, you're awesome!

With that in mind, let's end this shameless plugging and start with the chapter already!

DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise Winter/Jaune would be canon, just to troll all the Pyrrha/Weiss x Jaune shippers.

The Agents of Beacon AU belongs to Moczo and RadiantBeam.

All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.

"Reeeennny..." Nora crawled up to Ren's side, nuzzling her head into his neck.

Ren blushed slightly, shuddering at her touch. "Y-Yes, Nora?"
"Have you ever wondered what'd be like to have a superhero team in Beacon?"

"...no, not really." Ren shook his head. "N-Nora, do you mind not rubbing your cheek so close to my neck like that?"

"Sooooorry..." The berserker pouted, sighing as she did so. "Are you working on something?"

Ren nodded, reading the screen.

"Yeah. The Antic Order sent me a profile of some girl called...Tsumugi Kotobuki? Apparently she's a high-value asset to the Order that we have to recruit ASAP or something."

"...wasn't she one of those girls from Afterschool Tea-Time that beat Blake badly or something?" Nora tilted her head, curious.

The gunslinger shrugged. "Haven't watched K-On, so I wouldn't know."

"But seriously, Renny! Wouldn't it be cool if we had a superhero team?"

"I suppose, but what do you mean by that?" Ren scratched his head, closing the window on his screen. "I mean, Semblances are superpower-esque and all, and we do all wear silly costumes-"
"Yeah, but you know, I mean heroes like Thor and stuff!"

"...pretty sure that's a fic somewhere on the Interwebs."

"What about stuff where you get stuff like, you know, Harry Dresden and things?" Nora inquired, tilting her head.

"...what, with vampires and angels and wizards in the modern day?"
"Of course! That sounds awesome." Ren smiled a little. "Perhaps I'll look that up for-"

Suddenly, team RWBY burst into the dorm, slamming the door behind them and panting, shaking their heads. Blake had a shaken expression on her face, while Yang appeared to be traumatised by something unknown to the pair in the dorm.

Ren raised an eyebrow, perplexed. "What the-"
"Professor Faust." Yang interrupted him with fear in her trembling voice.

Ren nodded quickly. "Understandable. Get comfy- Jaune's out doing some homework in the library and Pyrrha's doing...I don't know and I don't want to know."

Weiss walked over, slumping onto one of the couches in the dorm and wiping her brow.

"That was...I'm surprised Yang of all people spared me that fate..."

"I'm sorry, Weiss, but not even you deserve that fate."

"I'm not sure whether to feel honoured or offended." Weiss remarked drily.

Ruby slumped next to her, horrified. "S-so...many...t-tentacles..."

"And THIS is why you don't attempt to summon freaking Cthulhu into Beacon to study him..." Blake muttered. "I mean, I've done some seriously STUPID things in the pursuit of science, but..."

"So." Ren looked around at everyone. "You, uh, you guys want to go find a fanfic series about you guys being modern wizards?"
Weiss shrugged. "Not like we're going anywhere with a tentacled abomination rampaging around the corridors until Miss Lupin and Tukson can subdue it..."
"You seriously think Miss Lupin and Tukson can put Cthulhu down?!" Ruby stared at her.
"She has a point." Yang raised a finger. "Not like she's inexperienced in dealing with shenanigans from the rest of the school."

Blake shrugged. "Well, I'm fresh off a binge of Marvel movies and I'm looking for things to read, so what the heck, I'm in."

"Okay." Ren shrugged. "Let's see if those fics actua-oh. They do!"
The catgirl raised an eyebrow. "What, seriously?"
"Apparently they're called 'Agents of Beacon' or something like that." Ren remarked. "So, we gonna read them?"

"Wait, wait, wait." Yang raised a finger inquiringly. "Half of them aren't even marked as 'Agents of Beacon'. How'd you-"
"Some guy marked them as part of the AU in his community. Pretty convenient- and easy asspull for Elf, too." Ren mused.

"Sounds fun." Ruby shoved a cookie into her mouth, moving over to the table. "Sure, bring it up!"

The Best Laid Plans

Ren batted his eyelids. "You know, I'm not surprised they started out with that."
"Huh, your typical human-hating psycho youkai." Blake rubbed her chin. "You know, I'm too used to yuki-onna being slightly less antagonistic than that.

I've got to stop reading that Rosario manga."

Ruby cheered. "I'm a total badass! Yeah! And I made big boom-booms!"

Nora pouted, whimpering slightly. "W-where am I?! Why can't I make big explosions?!"

"Because you're not IN the story, you moron." Weiss snapped irritably.

Yang chuckled. "Well, at least Weiss being part yuki-onna makes sense. She's Weiss cold enough. Get i-OW!"

The heiress rubbed her palm, grumbling and trembling. "Idiot. Say that again and I'll punch you in the gut."

"But the way you totally took him out was completely ice cold..." The brawler giggled. "Oh, man, I miss making puns..."

"...tch..." Weiss shook her head. "Just continue to the next oneshot before I'm tempted to execute Yang for treason."

"If you do, try to let her bleed on the red couch." Ren remarked drily before skipping to the next oneshot.

"Finally!" Yang sighed in relief. "Something with me in it!"
"You're such a narcissist." Weiss grumbled. "You'd read anything if your name was on it."

"What can I say? I'm just that sexy~" Yang winked sultrily.
The heiress smirked. "Winter says otherwise."
"DON'T YOU DARE BRING HER UP I WILL RECLAIM THE SEXY DAMMIT"

...

Crash and Burn

"...what a bastard." Yang commented, shocked at the monster hunter's depravity within the fic she was reading. "Seriously, what kind of a sick monster would hunt down innocent people for fun?!"
"Siegmund." Weiss responded without missing a beat.

Yang blinked, for a moment unable to formulate a response. "...okay, I can't question that."

"Who would be able to?" Blake inquired. "And daaaaamn, I'm awesome. I'm a freaking were-leopard!

I mean, still not as badass as spawning drills out of nowhere, but it's a start."
"Icefire's not the manly way!" Nora looked offended- although knowing Nora, it wasn't for the same reason Yang was. "That's just plain unfair!

A REAL hunter would fight the dragon with his bare hands and win by taming the dragon with sheer strength! Or break his knees and THEN make him submit!"
"...Nora, I don't think that's how people do it to dragons-"
"My grandpa did it to a Fafnir!" The berserker complained. "He even rode it around!"

Weiss rolled her eyes, sighing at Nora's comment. "Why am I not surprised that the Valkyrie family comes up with stunts nobody should survive but they somehow do?"
"Ooh!" Nora pointed a quivering finger towards the screen. "That one has me in it! And Ren!

It sounds awesome!"
Weiss facepalmed, exasperated.

"I think I want to take my chances with Cthulhu or whatever Dust-forsaken tentacled monstrosity that's rampaging outside.

It's either that or murdering Yang and Nora for being morons..."

Ren shrugged.

"Like I said, try to keep it off my carpet."

"S-shut up, Ren."

...

For Better or Norse

"Thrice-damned Wi-" Yang snickered, covering her mouth. "Okay, I'll admit, that was gold."

"Stupid Cardin, kill-stealing me." Ren grumbled. "I could've handled that myself."

"You get shot and nearly taken up by an insane psychopomp and you care about being killstolen?!" Weiss stared at Ren, shocked.

He shrugged, giving her a puzzled expression. "What, you thought I was actually going to die in that story?"

Nora, meanwhile, was cheering happily.

"IAMACOMPLETEBADASSOHMYDUSTFINALLYITSAWESOMEYAYIMACOMPLETEHAMIVEALWAYSWANTEDTOBEACOMPLETEHAMPLEASEWRITERHAVEMYBABIES"

"If you aren't having Ren's already." Yang winked at her, chuckling. "Ge-OW!"

She pouted, glaring at Weiss as she rubbed the sore back of her head. "Quit that!"

"Quit being a pervert."

"Huh. She broke Cardin's legs." Blake shrugged. "If this was canon-us reading this, we'd feel happy about that.

Eh. And as usual, Nora screws up and now she's stuck on Earth."
"IMSOAWESOMEY-wait what?!" Nora stared at the screen, shocked. "Y-you mean I don't get to drink with the mightiest of heroes and fight for the rest of my eternal life?!"

"Heh. Stuck with an insane psychopomp who wants you to die." Weiss chuckled. "Karma, don't you think?"
Yang shrugged. "They'll probably end up making superpowered dragon-valkyrie babies a-"

She was cut off by being punched in the gut by an exasperated Weiss.

"QUIT BEING A PERVERT, YOU MORON."
"Oww..."

Ren blushed. "Y-Yang! N-not the time and place!"
"Why?" Nora tilted her head, curious. "I-I wouldn't mind-"

"L-let's just skip to the next story already!" The gunslinger was surprisingly sweaty from the thought.

Blake sighed. "Ah...young love-"
"Y-you keep quiet, Blake!"

Embers

Weiss and Yang both looked at each other, before staring at the screen in shock.

"WHAT?!" They yelled in unison.

"M-me?! Love Weiss?!" Yang shook her head profusely. "N-no way!"

"I-I would never fall in love with that pervert!"
"I-I don't even LIKE tsunderes!"

Ren chuckled. "Boy, you two seem to be denying it rather vehemently-"
"That's because it's true!" Weiss snapped. "Don't you dare try to bring in your stupid shipping into this!"
"Weiss is mine!" Ruby squeaked out childishly, hugging her girlfriend's arm. "MINE!"
The brawler folded her arms. "Besides. Weiss i-isn't my type!"
"Then what is your type?" Blake responded, raising her eyebrow.

"Tall, black-haired and with a nice, curvy Bellabooty~"
Blake blushed profusely, embarrassed, before punching her in the gut. "D-don't say it like that!"
"Ow..." Yang whimpered. "Why is everyone punching me today..."

Weiss snapped at her again. "BECAUSE YOU KEEP SAYING PERVERTED THINGS!"

"I can't help it!" The brawler protested. "A girl has needs!"

"Keep your needs to yourself." Ren retorted, sighing.

Nora tilted her head, looking between Weiss and Yang. She rubbed her chin, before announcing her conclusion.

"Yep, I can totally see you both being a couple! Weiss being all tsundere, Yang being the idiot pervert, it-OOWIE REEEEEEN"

Weiss and Yang both rubbed her hands, having simultaneously punched Nora on her arms.

"For once, you actually did something intelligent." The heiress remarked.

"I could say the same for you." The brawler shot back.

"Reeeen..." Nora whined. "They're meaaaanies..."

Ruby, meanwhile, just sat there and popped cookies into her mouth, enjoying the show.

...

Fog of War

Blake shrugged. "Redshirts ahoy."

"Can't tell what this one is." Yang rubbed her chin, thinking. "Sounds like a chupacabra or something."

Ruby raised an eyebrow. "Since when do chupacabras have scales?"
"I dunno! Just a guess!"

"I'm calling it was a doppelganger." Weiss suggested. "Or a changeling."
"Nah, changelings only replace babies. Unless we're talking about that one role-playing game."

"Point taken."

Ren scrolled down, reading to the part where the group found out, for lack of a better term, that they had been hoodwinked.

"...heh. Skinwalkers. Classy."

"Dunno why they didn't just send Nora to deal with it." Weiss pointed out. "I mean, she IS a scion of a god and all."
"My awesomeness does NOT deserve to be wasted on a mere skinchanger!" The berserker protested. "Neither does my hamminess, for that matter."

"As always, Ozpin is a complete badass." Blake whistled. "Seriously, messing with a possibly aeons-old monster by firing silver bullets at it.

Classy."
"This is Ozpin we're talking about." Ruby pointed out. "But all those weapons!"

"Seems this stupid perverted writer got one thing right." The heiress grumbled, watching her girlfriend drool over all the descriptions of guns and weapons.

"A gun fetish?" Yang shrugged. "I've seen worse."

Ren chuckled. "What, so him shipping you and Yang together makes him stupid and perverted?"
"Y-You know nothing!"

The catgirl sighed, clapping.

"And, of course, nothing like dispatching a monster with a miniature nuke.

Still needs more drills."
"And you, you have to QUIT WITH THE DRILLS." The heiress snapped. "What is wrong with you?!"
"We went over this before, Weiss, drills are manly, and they will always be manly. I'm not answering that question again."
...

Breaking the Ice

"I REFUSE TO READ THIS IF I GET PAIRED WITH YANG" Weiss yelled. "THAT IS JUST PLAIN SICK AND WRONG"
Nora bobbed her head along.

"Quit denying your feeeeeelings~"
"SHUT UP" Yang roared at her. "THAT ISN'T FUNNY"
"I still don't know why you two are making such a big deal about it." Ren shrugged. "It's just a story."
"And besides, you wouldn't steal my Weiss away from me, right?" Ruby clung to her tightly, giving Yang a very sinister look.

"Keep your Weiss. I want my Bellabooty~"
"QUIT THAT!" Blake snapped, flustered. "Would you quit flirting with me?!"
"No~"

The gunslinger sighed. "At least it was tolerable when it was only Pyrrha trying- and failing- to hit on Jaune...

...well, that explains all the sexual harassment complaints."

"A-and what's with the ship tease?!" The heiress complained.

Blake shrugged. "Well, you always complained about all the perverted authors who wanted to pair you with Ruby or Jaune. You got your wish.

Now you're with Yang."

"T-that's no better!" Weiss whined.

"Well, at least I got to kick that sorry douche's backside." Yang whistled. "Man, she had Siegmund vibes. Just..." The brawler shuddered.

"But I do NOT appreciate that kiss at the end!"

"Neither do I!"

Ren sighed. "Are you two going to complain every time he pairs you two together? There's still three fics to go and two of them ship Freezerburn."
"I think I'll take my chances outside." Weiss stood up to leave when-

"DOWN WITH YOU FOUL BEAST!" That was Tukson, outside, dealing with said foul beast. This yell was followed by an unearthly, demonic screech and what sounded like some sort of incantation to summon a demon or something.

"On second thought I'll stay here." The heiress hastily sat back down.

A bit of ship tease was tolerable if it meant not being eaten by a giant tentacle monster- or worse.

...

Think of the Children

"So." Yang raised her finger. "Why doesn't Nora just have super dragon-valkyrie babies with Ren again?"
Ren glared at her. "D-don't say that!"
Nora tilted her head. "B-but Ren! I want to have your babies..."
"G-gah! Not you too!"

"Heh. Mighty warrior seed. That just sounds like a line from a terrible lemon." The brawler mused.

Weiss, meanwhile, was too busy twitching at the perverted innuendos throughout the chapter to exact revenge upon Yang.

"Sworn eternally unto purity my backside." Yang scoffed. "I know Nora's just waiting for the right opportunity for the Allfather to stop looking and WHAM!"

This time, it was Ren's turn to hit her.

"OW!"

"And I find myself wondering why my character in this AU has the libido of roadkill."

Ruby started laughing. "Milly and Mel as half-succubi? I'll buy it."
"Incestuous half-succubi..." Blake shuddered. "No thank you."

"Good Dust..." Yang shuddered at the thought at Ruby and Glynda, together.

Mostly because that would screw up her plans to get Glynda, Ozpin and Cinder into a threesome. But also because Ruby was too young for that, dammit.

"A..." Weiss facepalmed. "Just how desperate is Nora for this to happen?!"

"I'm more surprised Ren resisted the temptation of two succubi than that Nora's desperate to have Ren's babies." The brawler shrugged.

"Yang, I swear, you say that one more time-" Ren twitched, glaring at her again.
"You'll jump Nora and actually make babies?"

Ren sighed. He knew this trump card would come into use one day.

"Fine, Yang. Since you insist.

Suzumiya.

All I have to say."

Yang's eyes narrowed.

"You wouldn't."

"I would." The gunslinger pointed out. "Now shut up about me and Nora having babies!"

"BABIES." Nora uttered in a growl. "BAAAABIES."

Yang crossed her arms. "You're no fun..."

"I don't even want to know who or what this 'Suzumiya' is..." The heiress shook her head for the umpteenth time that day.

She didn't understand how she still hung out with these idiots sometimes.

The Ice Queen

"NONONONONONO" Weiss and Yang both wrenched the mouse out of Ren's hands and clicked it back to the next story.

"What giv-"
"WE ARE NOT READING ABOUT US PAIRED TOGETHER WITH CREEPY SUCCUBUS TWINS." Weiss pleaded. "I DO NOT CARE WHAT KIND OF INSANITY WE HAVE TO PULL, WE ARE NOT."

"J-Just skip to the next story, dammit!" Yang snapped.

Ruby looked disappointed.

"I wanted to read that, you know..."

"SHUT UP RUBY"
"S-sorry..."

...

Orange is the new Weiss

"Well, Sun's a...semi-villain?" Ren raised an eyebrow. "Huh. Okay."
"And Weiss is racist to Faunus." Blake didn't even bat an eyelid. "What a surprise."
"I hate it when people do that to me..." The heiress grumbled. "I just hate the White Fang. Not the Faunus, the White Fang. To be fair, they blew up a train!"

"The pot calling the kettle black, considering Weiss is whining about Faunus when she's a youkai." Yang pointed out. "And yuki-onna aren't exactly nice in this world either."
"I don't think my story-self is that rational if she fell for you of all people."
"Point taken."

"...a-and how the hell did Sun just...GAH! That's just stupid!" Weiss complained. "There is no way he'd be easily able to do that! What?!"

"He IS fast." Nora pointed out. "Not exactly something new."

"STILL!"
"...Ruby and Ozpin playing the dragon card?" Blake tilted her head. "Wait, hang on, why am I not involved in this? Wouldn't having a Faunus help figure out the whole thing?"
Ren shrugged. "Conflict of interest? Unfair? Story breaker power? Probably the same reason Nora's not in any of these- a scion of a god would be far too powerful for anyone to fight fairly.

And hey, props to Sun for being a genre-savvy thief! And a fail for Weiss failing to con him."
"This story is starting to irritate me." The heiress growled, clenching her fists. "Not to mention the constant shipping with Yang..."
"To be fair, Elf can't complain." Yang pointed out. "He constantly pushes White Rose."

"ENOUGH WITH THE STUPID ELF REFERENCES! I DON'T KNOW WHO THIS STUPID ELFCOLLABORATOR PERSON IS!"

Meanwhile...

Blake rubbed her chin.

"...I'm jealous of whoever made Penny in this timeline." She commented. "I wish I could've made a true AI like that..."
"Doesn't Norn count?" Ren inquired.
"She was dumped in Life Dust."

"Point taken."

"...aaaand she beats up the Malachite twins for 'menacing' them." The gunslinger whistled. "Go figure."

Nora raised her hand. "Oh! Oh! Can I leave the review since Yang and Weiss are arguing again?"
"Eh, sure." Ren handed her the keyboard. "Knock yourself out."

From: The Queen of the Castle

BEST AU EVER I LOVE IT
NEEDS MORE BROKEN KNEES AND REN-ON-NORA ACTION
LOVE, NORA

PS: WEISS AND YANG HATE YOU FOR SHIPPING THEM

Indeed, the afternoon proceeded within JNPR dorm, as the teams were actually unaware that, outside, Tukson and Beth had managed to cast the monster back into its dark, distant realm incomprehensible to human minds.

That, however, is a different story for another time.

END

A/N: Well, a shout out to both creators of the Agents of Beacon AU for being awesome and a big thank you to them for allowing this chapter to happen!

So, next chapter, Ruby Reacts to Pokemon Omega Ruby, Part 2!

I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, criticisms, suggestions, reviews and thoughts, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!