11:36 PM

At a Certain High School in a certain classroom, a very short young pink haired woman that could easily be mistaken for an elementary school stood upon a series of books to elevate herself past a podium. She spoke with a very sunny disposition.

"...and that class, is all of the contributions the theory of relativity has made in the scientific community."

In spite of her cheerful tone, the majority of students sat motionless, feigning attentiveness. No one would dare do anything to upset Tsukuyomi Komoe who was easily prone to crying, further exaggerating and complicating the matter surrounding her true age. Don't let her underdeveloped appearance fool you. She's the second oldest person in this story.

A rather stout man with smooth black hair opened the door and peered in without fully entering the room.

"Ms. Komoe," he said in a low voice, motioning her with his right hand to come outside. "A word please."

"Ah," she replied before turning back to face her students. "Now class, be good while I'm gone. It's okay to talk but please be respectful of the fact that there's a conversation happening outside."

With that, she hopped off the books and quickly walked over to the door, closing it upon exiting. The class immediately erupted in various casual dribble as if they timed her from the moment she started walking to when the door closed.

A light-blue haired student with squinty eyes slouched in his seat with his hands behind his head. His name is Aogami Pierce.

"God," he said in a playful manner. "The only thing rewarding about these classes is the lovely Ms. Komoe. I'd do anything in a half to spend a summer in cram school with her. Or maybe some one-on-one tutoring if you catch my drift."

The student sitting on his left had spiky blonde hair and dark blue sunglasses. However, they couldn't hold back his laid back expression and wide smile.

"Of course," Tsuchimikado Murihado replied in a casual tone. He mirrored Aogami's pose until he felt a vibration emanating from his right pocket. He rummaged through it for a few seconds before pulling out a dark blue flip phone. No one can see it but his eyes astutely scan the message.

"What's that?" Aogami inquired. "Is it a message from one of your honies? Or does dear little sister require some assistance?"

"Or," Tsuchimikado responded without losing his cool. "It's shut the fuck up and take a look at this text message."

Aogami complied with the demands, leaning over to silently run through the contents of the message. After he finished, he dropped back in his seat and howls.

"Ohhhhh myyyyy Gawwwwd. That's the best slash most terrifying news I've heard all day."

"Well shit," Tsuchimikado agreed, flipping his phone back with one hand without looking at it. "Esper or not, I'd hate to be the poor soul that rubs Ms. Yomikawa the wrong way."

A certain spiky black haired student sitting behind Tsuchimikado had his head laid down. After hearing that last sentence, he raised his face to look up.

"What happened to Ms. Yomikawa?" he beckoned.

"Whoops," Tsuchimikado sarcastically responded. "Did I say that out loud?"

"Now you've done it," Aogami joined in. "You've awakened the beast. Buuuuuut, since he's already awake, may as well spill the beans."

Aogami scooted his desk closer to the spiky haired boy who seemed to be struggling with consciousness. But before he could utter a word, Tsuchimikado opened his mouth.

"Some sad sap totally stole Ms. Yomikawa's panties in broad daylight."

Aogami turned his head around and frowned, letting out a long, annoying wail.

"I wanted to be the one to tell him!"

"Yeah, I know," Tsuchimikado replied while sitting back in his chair with his hands behind his head. "I wanted to steal your thunder. Oh, and he was totally an esper wearing some old fashioned magician outfit. With a top hat, a suit and everything. He even had a cape and a 'wand.'"

"At least let me tell him the details!"

"Nah."

While Aogami complained more to the clearly apathetic Tsuchimikado, The Spiky Haired Boy blinked a few before sighing and putting his head back down.

"Your jokes are always tasteless," he said in a muffled voice. "I know I'm not the smartest guy around, but if you're going to lie to me, at least make it sound believable. No need to insult my intelligence."

Tsuchimikado leaned towards him and smiled.

"Really Kami-yan? After all the weird shit that's happened in Academy City, let alone the entire world, you cross the line a magician who can rob a badass super cop in broad daylight and get away with it?"

Touma Kamijou is an unremarkable high school student. His grades are average and he doesn't participate in any extracurricular activities. He's not particularly good at anything and could easily be lost in a crowd of people. His entire life has seemingly been plagued with mediocrity and misfortune. And yet…

Touma raised his head so only his eyes are visible. His brow indicated that he's just about had it with these two jerkasses.

"It's not even that. It's that you guys aren't exactly credible sources of information."

Tschimakado's expression didn't change in spite of the criticism.

"Kami-yan. I'm hurt. Honestly."

Touma put his head back down.

"Fuck off."

"Kamijou!" Ms. Komoe's prepubescent sounding voice echoed from the front of the room. Touma's body stiffened to an erect posture as he let out a yelp. "That is language inappropriate for an educational facility! After school detention!"

"Oh, come on," Touma defended before realizing the futility of trying to justify himself. He sighed before putting his head back down.

"Don't you 'come on' me, young man!"

Aogami poorly contained his laughter by putting his hands against his mouth and spasming.

"And the same goes for you Mr. Pierce!"

"That's fine. Any detention with you is a blessing in disguise."

Komoe puffed her cheeks in the most endearing way imaginable at the fact that her authority was being undermined. She turned her attention to the rest of the class, with various male students trying their best to hide their laughter. After one look from her, they all sat straight faced with their hands folded.

"Anyway," Komoe continued. "Ms. Yomikawa has had an… unfortunate accident this morning."

The class grew dimly quiet. Touma made his eyes visible again.

"I can't reveal the details but next period gym has been canceled. In place, students will be required to have a mandatory study hall in the gymnasium."

The class erupted with groans. Touma's pupils dilated. He quickly stood up.

"So it's true?!" he shouted, drawing the attention of his classmates.

"Touma!" Komoe yells. "I won't tolerate these interruptions! After school detention!"

Touma's mouth dropped as a faint gasp escapes it. Various students chuckled.

"Stupid Kamijou," a girl whispered.

"That clown," a boy muttered.

"Class!" Komoe shouted. "Settle down!"

Tsuchimikado raised his arms in the most conspicuous way possible.

"Piss, shit, damn, hell, ass!"

"Motoharu-san! After school detention!"

"But it's not my fault! Kami-yan put me up to it! He knows I can't turn down a good bribe!"

Touma clenched his right fist.

"Tsuuuuuuchiiiiiimikadoooooooo…" he growled as he grinded his teeth together. The class erupt in laughter.

"DETENTION!" Komoe shouts. "DETENTION FOR EVERYONEEEEEEE!"

"This is all your fault, Kamijo," Aogami said while facing Touma.

"BUT YOU WERE JUST SAYING HOW YOU'D LIKE TO HAVE DETENTION WITH MS. KAMOE!" Touma shouted while nearly picking up his desk and slamming it.

"Yeah Kamijou," a boy three seats to the right of Aogami agreed.

"Fucking Kamijou," a third boy whispered.

"Idiot," a girl whispered.

"I bet he gets no ass," another boy whispered.

Tsuchimikado turned his grinning face towards Touma. The unfortunate boy at the center of the verbal onslaught sighed, sinking into his seat and putting his head back down. He turned to the left to catch a glimpse of the technologically advanced scenery known as Academy City.

(Just my rotten luck…)

(Just my rotten luck...)

Saitama stood atop of the highest building he could find. He looked down at the city with annoyance and slight frustration.

(I lost a magician in a huge city I know nothing about.)

His pupils shifted to the left. Everyone in his field of vision looked like ants but regardless he could spot that flowing cape and out of style top hat from a mile away. If it they were around, that is.

(At least I'm somewhere in Japan. I think… I hope… Come to think of it, how have I never heard of this place? I've been living in Z-City for like, ever. You'd think I'd be aware of an entire city, especially one this far ahead in the technology department. Or one that's seemingly populated by kids. What's up with that? Then again, I was never really an expert in geography so…)

Saitama scratched his chin. He eventually sighed and slouches.

(I wish I could just punch out all of my problems. This critical thinking is ruining my self-esteem...Oh well…)

Saitama stepped off the edge of the building and quickly descended towards the ground in an upright position with his arms folded as if he is waiting for a very slow elevator. His cape flapped in the wind.

(Where's Genos when you need him?)

He landed on a sidewalk with no damage from the fall.

"Oh shit," a nearby student said as he stumbles over. "A flying man."

Saitama turned to him.

"Technically, that was a fall-I mean-greetings, citizen," he said waving his right hand. "Have you seen a really old guy dressed as a magician?"

"N-no."

Saitama closed his eyes and inhaled before reopening them.

"Fuck." with an impatient expression, he turned around. Then he turned his head to the student and waved at him with his left hand.

"Well, stay in school."

He jumped into the air. The student sat on his rear, staring at the strange man who seemed to be lifted from a western comic book.

(Maybe I should draw a picture…)