Slowly, I surfaced from my dream-like state and a quick glance out of the window proved it to still be dark outside. It must have only been around three or four in the morning. As my growing headache pounded against my skull, I rested my palm over the heated skin and with a wince, I sat up. Although I felt slightly dizzy and light-headed, I was completely aware of my surroundings and if it wasn't obvious enough, the liquid that coated my thighs and the air full of the musky smell of attraction were big hints. As I closed my eyes and my thoughts travelled back to last night, I felt the pain in my head worsen slightly.

"Wine, Tiffany?" Asked Bora as she settled on the sofa next to me, smiling at how I was looking around her rather lavish apartment in awe. This woman seemed very well off, there was so much space and so many expensive gadgets just lying around as if she wouldn't care if someone were to come in and steal them, like they could be easily replaced. I didn't realise she'd asked me a question but a hand on my knee brought back my attention to the beautiful woman beside me, who was handing over glass of red wine with a smirk.

"Ah, thank you" I smiled, taking an experimental sip to see if my drunkenness wasn't going to be affected, it didn't seem so. Bora continued to stare at me while I shot shy smiles at her now and again as she studied my every feature quite openly.

"Why do I get the feeling you don't do this often?" She chuckled, pushing the wine glass to my lips gently, trying to get me to relax a little.

"Uh….because I don't?" With a shy smile I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear before attempting to ease more comfortably into the sofa, but it was so damn far back I stumbled a little, making a complete tit out of myself no doubt.

Bora did nothing but smile, crossing her legs while resting an elbow on the settee's arm, seductively playing around with one of her fingers with her tongue. It caught my eye most definitely but I still felt rather awkward about this whole thing, I don't even know why I accepted. It most certainly was out of character but there's that saying 'we tell the truth when we're drunk' or something along those lines anyway…maybe we do what we really want when we are drunk too?

Getting a little uncomfortable under her lewd stare and the awkward silence developing, I asked to use her bathroom which she pointed out soon after. I didn't fail to notice her smirk as I got up and when I glanced over my shoulder I saw she was focused on my legs as I walked. I felt a slight tinge in the pit of my stomach when I observed her interest and couldn't help but sway my hips slightly, I mean come on….being looked at like that by such a gorgeous woman does giveyou some confidence.

I soon found the toilet and locked the door after entering, immediately going over to the mirror to check my appearance. My hair looked a bit shabby so I styled it a little with water and then proceeded to do my business. I asked myself over and over what the actual hell I was doing but decided to ignore my inner conscience and just do it. Do whatever she wants, she's beautiful after all and when I looked in the mirror for one last time and then opened the door, it seemed it was time. Startled to see Bora was waiting outside, her wine and mine in hand, I jumped slightly at her unexpected presence while she just smirked and motioned with her head to follow her… to the bedroom.

I started to gnaw at bottom lip, anxiety felt in my tummy as I contemplated what was going to happen next. Well of course that but how was she going to lead up to it? After all, I was pretty awkward...but I guess from my perspective of her so far, she seemed very confident in herself so I saw her just wanting to dive right in. No small talk.

When she opened her door I was immediately struck by both the largeness of her room and her bed, I took a deep breath in in an effort to soothe my nerves and followed her inside. I didn't fail to notice she had closed her door behind us, a grin on her face as she looked at her prey up and down with predatory eyes; me.

"Babe. Chill, I don't bite" she said as she walked up to my rigid body and then passed by to stroll over to her bed, sitting down on the edge and taking off her heels. She shuffled upwards, taking one of the sides of the king sized mattress only to then seductively drum her fingers on the opposite side, raising an eyebrow my way silently telling me to join her.

I made an attempt at humour by saying "What if I like to be bitten?" The snort I thought further assured her that it was intended as a joke but the way her eyes lit up told me otherwise. She patted the bed this time with more vigour, eager for me to be lying beside her. I guess….this was really going to happen.

So with my nerves evident, I took a seat beside her, awkwardly lying back while she turned onto her side, her head propped up by her hand while she looked right at me. Her stare never wavered. "You're really beautiful" she complimented, causing a slight blush to come up on my cheeks. In an attempt to blame it on the wine, I quickly turned making it so my face was out of view and gulped down the last few mouthfuls which was fair to say, quite a bit.

"Thanks, you too" I smiled as she laughed, her gaze now on my mouth. Slowly she reached out and wiped her thumb under my bottom lip as if there was something there and then retracted, bringing it to her own lips and sucking on it slightly with twinkling eyes. It got my attention all right, something that Bora had been waiting for so then she came closer, wasting no more time. I could feel that she was smiling when she traced the outline of my lips with her tongue. The sudden contact made me gasp, giving her the opportunity to slip the tip of her tongue into my slightly open mouth making it erupt in warmth.

The quiet hum that came from her throat as our lips finally connected after a little play and then closed together, creating a seal made my already quickened heartbeat pace faster, the recklessness of what I was doing serving as an adrenaline rush. My eyes fluttered closed to experience the feeling in more depth and her hands soon made their way to rest over my hips, pulling me closer with strength I'd expect from someone like Taeyeo-

Taeyeon… My thoughts flashed slightly to how she would feel but after thinking about how rudely she had treated me earlier…

And then those thoughts were gone as Bora snaked her fingers deep into my hair, squeezing, tugging...forcing my head back against the pillow and giving her more access to my neck.

Both dresses came off soon after as she climbed on top and moved closer so her breasts rubbed up against mine, the sensation subtle but effective. My nipples hardened immediately when she took over the domineering position, her hands gliding up and down my body.

But one thing I did notice through the sensuality was…her touch didn't cause the goose pimples to erupt like Taeyeon's did. I found it interesting actually so to test it, I attempted to use my tongue to fight for dominance and when I twisted mine with hers and she moaned into my open mouth, sure it felt hot but I didn't get that shiver down my spine, it wasn't magical.

"Fuck you're sexy" Bora growled while kneading my breasts roughly, leaving pink finger marks each time she pressed which disappeared soon after only to reappear when she did it again. When her arm made its way around my body, forcefully arching my back when she pulled me upwards, she latched onto my nipple whilst already getting ready to plunge her fingers into me.

I let out a moan at the pleasure but couldn't help my mind wandering to that first day Taeyeon and I had sex, how she was rough in all the right places and how she had had to get herself off afterwards because I was so tired from the incredible orgasm she brought me. Heat flooded my core just thinking about it, my mouth opening wide as moan after moan came from my throat in husky bursts while Bora continued to pepper my body with kisses.

When she finally did insert her fingers, I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't realise I had been flipped around to lay on my stomach until seconds after the action. My ass now arched upwards as Bora kneeled behind me while thrusting her hips as she did the same movements with her fingers, imitating doggy style. The groans kept coming as I imagined it was Taeyeon, pounding me from behind, that arousing smirk plastered on her face as she rendered me to mush under her touch.

I heard a chuckle before Bora lifted her hand and sent it crashing down onto one of my butt cheeks while the other jiggled slightly at the force of the impact. My eyes opened in excitement and I found myself smiling while my mouth was still agape, the moans still coming full force from the speed of her thrusting. Her other hand reached around and pinched my clit between her fingers making an almost scissor-like motion as they moved. She scraped her nails down my back whilst my upper body fell to the bed, my arms no longer supporting me because of the feeling of it all and when she spanked me one last time and curled her fingers upwards, the combination sent me soaring.

"Ah fuck" I cried as my eyes clenched tightly shut, my stomach tensing and my legs shuddering at the sensation while my clit pulsed. It took a while, but as I came down Bora gave my butt a few taps as if to say 'well done' before laying down, shaking out her wrist a little as if it ached and then pulling me on top of her to return the favour.

Coming back to the present, I listened as the shower ran, the slight hint of music coming through the gap under the door barely heard over the running water. I may not have had a real one night stand before this one, but I knew how they worked. To save both myself and Bora from early-morning awkwardness, I pulled on my clothes as quietly as I could and tiptoed to the front door, moving just that little bit quicker to slip out when I heard the water stop and the bathroom door unlock.

…

As I pulled up, I took a moment to think about how this was going to play out. I'd done my best to hide the hickey's that I had received with concealer but the deep purple colouring was not easily hidden, there was still a slight colouration there. Despite knowing that Taeyeon and I were most definitely not a couple, I was nervous to find out what she would think if or when she saw them. I mean, sure she may not particularly like me and is probably using me for sex but I couldn't help but feel that if it was the other way round and she had slept with someone else, I'd be hurt even if I didn't have feelings for her.

I stayed there a little while longer just to plan out what I'd say and figured the best thing to do was to pretend nothing was up and if she noticed, then explain what had happened. I wasn't going to walk in there trying to hide it, fidgeting at every glance she gave me because I was better than that. She told me time and time again that she doesn't care so...fuck it.

I sauntered in through the doors, my head held high while I made my way down the corridor to find out the post I'd be covering. And there were no surprises as to what I got... Taeyeon's section! She had been let out of solitary before I left so maybe she wouldn't be as pissed now she was in a more open area that lacked the psychotic screams that were in no doubt frightening.

So here I was outside her room, feeling reasonably nervous at what her reaction would be to me suddenly turning up out of nowhere.

As I walked in, I had to do a double take because what should have been an immaculately clean and tidy room - something she took pride in and was one of her habits - was instead messy and disorganized. Her dirty washing strewn across the floor while her books covered the small table and a section of the floor. There was a bed-sheet on the ground screwed up beside the door and no sign of Taeyeon.

"What the fuck..." I frowned, traipsing through the slightly clear pathway that led to her bed. I thought to myself that Taeyeon would never even think of leaving her room this way...and then it hit me – Kong and her gang. It had to be that, they had done this before and maybe to welcome Taeyeon back 'home' they did it again. Since Taeyeon wasn't here at the moment, I wondered whether I'd just missed them and I'd almost made up my mind to complain to Nichkhun only to then realise that I was supposed to hate Taeyeon. Fuck.

Whist looking at the scrunched up pieces of paper that no doubt came from her sketchbook, I imagined myself being another punching bag to her aggression when she saw her room in this state. So, once making sure the coast was clear down both corridors, I began 'contraband searching' while I also proceeded to put her things back the way I had known them to be.

I stacked her books tidily, made her bed and picked up her clothes only to become unable to resist bringing them to my nose one by one, closing my eyes as I inhaled one of her shirts; vanilla. I don't know what it was about her scent but it managed to create a buzz inside of me and I revelled in it each time I smelt it. However, now noticing I was losing time, I reluctantly folded her clothes and placed them on top of the others situated neatly in the corner. I had just finished gathering the crumpled pieces of paper from the ground when she walked in, looking as beautiful as ever in a towel, her skin and hair still wet from the shower.

As soon as she saw me, it was as if something stopped and stirred inside her but it was only a moment because afterwards she quickly averted her eyes which told me she was shocked at my sudden appearance, and still a little pissed. I said nothing, I just watched on silently as she walked passed me, not even sparing me a glance. I'm not going to lie, it hurt a little and even more so when she started to dress with her back to me, covering her body with the towel as if I was any other perverted guard that would try to sneak a peek.

I attempted to say something as I stared at her shoulder blades moving while she put on her bra, the same one she had had trouble with before but whatever I planned to say simply got lost in my throat. I carried on observing her when I saw that Taeyeon realised it was a little difficult to hook and was taking a lot longer than usual, she looked down and scoffed. I heard a slight mumble that she made under her breath but I couldn't quite make it out, something to show her frustration probably. I watched while she tried one last time before starting to pull it off, only my fingers that wrapped around one of the straps stopped her.

I felt her body tense up as I stepped closer and pulled the two ends together, my fingers brushing the silky skin just beside her spine as I did so. It seemed the hooks weren't in great shape and were slightly broken, no wonder it was hard for her to try to do it behind her back. After a moment's struggle though, I finally did it and with a small smile I adjusted the straps over her shoulders that had since twisted during the battle. I ran my fingertips underneath each one on either side of her neck and went from the back to the front, my arms ending up resting over her shoulders in a sort of awkward neck hug thing.

It didn't take long for her to shrug me off of her.

"Good morning" I smiled slightly as I walked away continuing on my search. I found it so hard to just tear my eyes away from her and actually do my job. I even stopped what I was doing and stared multiple times just thinking about her, about how it's funny how far my sexuality has been bent by this woman amongst other things... I mean, just a few days ago I was being chatted up by a really handsome guy...yet went home with a girl.

Both were nothing compared to her though. She was so effortlessly beautiful, she wasn't even wearing make-up yet looked stunning and managed to make me stop and admire her each time she looked my way. She was something you'd come across in a magazine and wish you had even half of what she did. And here I was, lucky enough to be with her intimately but not lucky enough to be with her on an emotional level.
Jessica must have been really very special.

I tried again "Hey" But it had the same result; silence.

With a small dissapointed sigh and now done with my work, I took a peek outside and saw there were no officers around so I once again approached her, walking over to where she was now - lying on the bed reading. Thinking she was annoyed at how I upped and left without a word, I started there.

"Listen, I'm sorry about leaving so suddenly," I said quietly, kneeling down beside her whilst moving my hand back and forth under her bed just in case someone were to sneak up on me. "And I'm sorry we argued."

Nothing. Again. Maybe she really did hate me after all. Giving up hope at the continuous silence that reacted to my sentences, I went to get up but froze when she stopped me with that rich voice of hers "Where did you go?"

"I uh...needed some alone time I think" I replied honestly "A break" I watched as she looked at me and put her book down, she looked...strange, something was going on.

"You're the talk of the prison you know" she smirked, easing me a little because it hid that weird look she had in her eyes. I couldn't explain it if I wanted to, it was definitely not a pleasant one though.

"I am? Why's that?"

Taeyeon smiled though it was obvious to me it was fake. "Officer Hwang got laid on her intended 'relaxation' break." She replied, air quoting the word relaxation. I opened my mouth to try to explain myself but got cut off. "And even if they weren't saying anything, you aren't exactly hiding the fact"

I frowned in confusion but once I followed her gaze down and saw one of my buttons had come undone, showing the hickey's that bruised my neck, I saw most of the concealer was now pasted on my shirt collar. I then looked back to see that same look on her face and I bit the inside of my cheek while buttoning the shirt back up, tying hard to figure out what was going on inside that head of hers.

"I uh..." for a split second I rattled my brain for a decent lie to give her but then thought, she wasn't stupid so in the end I didn't bother "I could say that I didn't mean for it to happen, or that it was a drunken mistake, I didn't know what I was doing...but those things aren't true."
Taeyeon was listening to every word intently, her facial expression straight and emotionless but those eyes, those eyes told a whole different story. "The truth is she chatted me up while I was still angry at what went on between us... and then she asked if I wanted to go back to hers. I did."

I began to wonder whether Taeyeon was jealous or whether she was just angry that I'd do that and then come running back to her as if I was the player. I also wondered whether she was possessive, I mean that in the way that she didn't want me fully, yet she didn't want anyone else to have me either. I got the feeling she wanted me to continue the story despite the subtle glare I was receiving.

"So I went back to her place...and I remember feeling quite anxious. She gave me some wine though to ease the nerves and then we went to her room and we, had sex". I hesitated on that last part, it felt pretty bad saying it to her like that. It was almost like the feeling you would get if you cheated, but Taeyeon and I weren't together.

She averted her eyes for a second, nodding her head in understanding yet her face still withheld zero emotion. "So Tiffany Hwang has finally come to terms with her sexuality hm?" She grinned, again...nothing behind it, it was a dead smile that was quite eerie.

"Taeyeon, I just want to say I'm sorry that-"

"Sorry?" she questioned. "Why? I don't own you Tiffany, you can do whatever the hell you like."

I smiled a little at that. "You know, it's funny how straight away you figured that I was apologising for sleeping with that girl when that wasn't the case." She looked a little perplexed, wondering why she had just assumed. "Is it something I should apologise for?"

"...I just told you what I think" she retorted, her tone rising once she realised she had been a little silly there, tripping up slightly and causing a crack in her emotional barrier.

"Can I also ask why this room was trashed when I arrived?" I asked "I have a feeling that it wasn't another threat against you like I had first thought" It was my time to smirk as she became somewhat flustered at my insinuations. "You never fail to clean your room Kim", I said as I stood up, looking down on her with folded arms. "So why now out of all these times would you leave it messy when I know the mere image of something on the floor would probably piss you off to no end?"

"What are you trying to get at?" she growled, clearly getting quite annoyed at my constant questioning.

"Is it because a certain correctional officer left without telling you where she was going, or if she was coming back?"

There was a deafening silence before it was cut short by the laugh erupting from Taeyeon. "Are you serious? Is your head so far up your own ass that you think I left my room untidy because I missed you?" she scoffed. "Please"

"Did I say you missed me?" I counter-attacked, her smile faltering a little when she thought back to what had been said. "I merely asked if you lived untidily because I didn't tell you where I was going and when I was coming back" I knew I had her.

"You... insinuated it" she replied, trying desperately to hang on to her dignity.

"No, I didn't" I smiled, the frown on her face telling me to continue teasing her. However, that smile soon disappeared as I pretended to be checking inside a book on the shelf when I saw a guard passing by, peeking in to check how everything was going.
He saw me 'searching' for contraband with a small smirk on his face which I didn't know why was there, but I kept acting like nothing was happening, he left soon after. I eyed Taeyeon after checking the coast was clear again, slowly approaching her with a small smirk on my lips. "So…you missed me? You-"

"I said I fucking didn't" She interrupted, growling at me. She gritted her teeth looking almost desperate. You could compare the walls she built up to close herself off to the Great Wall of China, especially after almost admitting that she did indeed miss me. I felt… happy. If she missed me, it must mean she has feelings for me. At least, sort of...right?

I didn't want to get my hopes up, but a little part of me felt like I had achievedsomething at least. I walked closer, noticing her head turning to the wall so she couldn't see me. My sight landed on her still slightly wet hair, her body that was so close to mine...So reachable yet so distant. I stopped gawking at her as soon as I remembered something.

"Do you mind telling me who told you that I had… you know?"

Her eyes met mine, a cold stare developing but I tried to remain serious as she got up, slowly walking towards me closing the distance while her eyes never left my own. Judging by the stern expression, she was angry.

"I overheard two officers laughing at how those hickeys looked good on 'Hwang', and it didn't take long to do the math, seeing as you disappeared" I was actually surprised at myself, because her strong gaze did not intimidate me one bit. Then I realized she was now staring down, but not at my lips, at my neck.

"Well…at least they didn't talk about the ones you gave me, right?" Her gaze met mine, both of us silent for a second. Her eyes moved to my neck again as she bit the inside of her cheek before turning around, walking back to her bed. I wish I knew what she was thinking, but her gaze was blank. She hummed a yes, but that was all.

It turned awkward soon enough but I refused to leave the room, there was something holding me back, telling me stay there until her walls were no longer hiding her true feelings. I dared to sit next to her, not too close but not too far.

"So…what happened while I was gone?"

She frowned, looking away and letting out a scoff. "What do you care? It's not like I can do anything but just be here. I'm trapped in this fucking place."

"Well, there must be something you think about." I shrugged while looking at her side profile "Like all the places you can go when you're free and-"

"Fuck you." She sighed. Rather than anger, I heard frustration in her voice as I frowned at her reaction. The last time we spoke about what she was going to do when she got out of jail, she sounded excited. Now, all that was gone.

I opened my mouth to say something but her eyes met mine and all of a sudden, anger began to build.

"Do you have any idea how fucking hard it is to have nothing to do but sit here for hours on end and think about how fucking shitty my life actually is? Do you think I want to think about how perfect the world is outside and how happy I'm going to be when my life right now is this wor theses?!" She stressed, looking at me with a fuming gaze. Great, we're back to this. I'd only been back for a few hours and I already wanted more time off.

"Really? You're going to get an attitude when all I'm doing is trying to lighten the mood?" I retorted, if she wanted to play that way then I'd play right back.

Taeyeon didn't appreciate it though, she got up, fire in her eyes due the fact I talked to her that way but I stood my ground. She wasn't going to intimidate me anymore. "Are you serious?" she asked, stepping in front of me. "Do you have no shame? You think everything is about you, how fucking selfish can you be?"

"I didn't say that, I was just asking a question" I replied while rolling my eyes, another thing she didn't take to kindly.

"Yeah of course." She said as she shook her head in disbelief. "Just go"

"No I'm sick of this!" I hissed as I too got up "Why are you so angry? Why do you keep pushing me away?"

"I don't" I laughed at that, it's all she did.

"Yes, you do. You look the slightest bit happy when I walk through that door and once I open my mouth I'm told to leave almost every time. All I'm trying to do is-"

"Do you not get it?" She began to raise her voice, something I hated her doing because each time she did her tone was filled with sheer hate... plus her door was slightly open. I walked away, checking outside again before closing the door just to be safe, then motioning for her to continue. "I don't want your help, I don't want your company or your fucking feelings. I don't want anything to do with you!"

"That's not true though is it?" I smiled with just as much frustration. "If I walked out of this place right now, never to return…maybe you wouldn't care for a while since you'd still be angry but eventually you'd come to realise that the one person who gave you a chance in this place was gone and you'd hate it."

"Here you go again. Me, me, me, I, I, I. Get your head out of your ass long enough to realise I don't give a fUsk about what you do. Go back to that chick from the outside, at least she'll take you for what you are." Oh? What was that?

A smirk erupted onto my face. "Wait…are you jealous? Is that what this is about?"

"Jealous? Are you kidding me?" She scoffed. "How many times do I have to say this? We aren't dating Tiffany, you can do whatever the hell you like in-"

"You're jealous of the fact I had sex with someone else aren't you?" I said as I strolled closer to her while she tensed, retreating to her bed trying to keep the distance between us. Not going to happen.

When she saw me still coming she let out a bitter laugh "You're such a smug, arrogant bitch you know that? Why on earth would I care about what you did with some whore?"

"Why is she a whore?" I retorted, raising an eyebrow, eager for her to just admit she wasn't happy about what happened between Bora and I.

"Because…" Hesitation, a big sign. "She just is!" Okay it was getting more and more obvious.

"You hate the fact that you pushed me to the point that I left and went elsewhere but you're too stubborn and proud to just come out with it." I sat down on her bed while she shuffled away. I allowed that space, she was obviously fighting with herself over there and needed it.

"Listen" She frowned. "One more time. I. Do not. Give a fuck. What you do."

"Okay, well that's good. We are going on a date this weekend" I smiled while she snapped her head towards me, giving a subtle glare but I knew. She couldn't lie to me. She may not want to say it, but she feels something for me it was obvious. She didn't say anything else.
I leaned back on my palms, getting comfortable letting her know I wasn't going anywhere soon "Well… If you really didn't give a fuck, why would you try to convince me otherwise? It's more like you're trying to convince yourself. Am I right?" Silence until another outburst...

"I'm not jealous!" She groaned in frustration, a deep frown on her face. I smiled but ultimately gave up, after all this conversation was going nowhere and somehow despite that whatever she was feeling was showing on her face and through her actions, she always managed to win every single argument.

A small sigh escaped my lips while I wondered where to go next. "I just want to know you." I murmured, biting my lip as I tried again. "Is that a crime?"
There was a small pause but I kept going. "What are you afraid of, Taeyeon?" I asked, trying to take a different approach.

"Nothing" she replied, bringing her legs into her body and resting her head on her knees, facing away from me.

"Everyone is scared of something" I pressed on, I was going to get something out of this girl today. "Do you want to know what I'm scared of?" There was no reply so I just continued talking. "I'm scared of losing my family and...I'm scared of sharks"
I grinned when I heard a snort, it was my intention after all to make her laugh. "Now you, come on. I'll stop hassling when I get an answer..."

I was pleased to see her turn her head my way, looking into my eyes with still a tense but much calmer gaze than before. She stared before shrugging. I knew there was somethingshe wanted to say but once again, she was too proud to open herself up to me.

"Being alone?" I suggested, thinking back to that once in solitary.

"I'm always alone, why would I be scared of it?" was her reply.

"You can get used to something but still be afraid of it Taeyeon. Humans are social creatures, you can tell yourself all you want that being alone is peaceful and makes you happy but there will come a time when you want somebody there, right next to you" I smiled reassuringly before reaching out for her hand, an action that for her would be more intimate than sex.

I went slowly while she followed my every movement with her eyes, unsure of whether to give in or not. I got as far as touching her fingers until she pulled away leaving me to retract my own in disappointment.

"Taeyeon..."

"You don't understand."

"Then make me understand. Give me something so I can help you…"

"Why? Why is this any of your business?" She growled, but this time it sounded more like her begging for me to stop.

I knew I shouldn't dare say this, but I needed to. It was now or never as I'd probably never get another chance to make her open herself up to me. I held my breath, my eyes closing as I prayed for a miracle.

"I think…you need to let the sad truth sink in and move on. I know it's hard but, she's gone Taeyeon…"

"Don't you think I know that?" Her tone of voice was cold as ice, but she sounded weaker as if her walls were finally cracking. I feat as if I was seeing glimpses of the realTaeyeon buried under inches of protection, and not the cocky inmate I was used to.

"You can't stay hung up on her. It'll kill you slowly and it isn't good to bottle your feelings up so much and for so long because it'll eventually consume you..."

"What..you want to protect me from all this? From the outside world when I'm freed? Well I'm sorry but that's not going to happen" Bricks were starting to build again but I didn't come so far only to be pushed out, I was going to break them down one by one until there was nothing left to hide.

"Taeyeon I know it's hard to hear but you need to move on. Jessic-"

"Don't say her name!"

"Okay, okay she wouldn't want you like this. She would want you to live your life but of course keep her as a reminder in your heart. She'll never leave you Tae, but she also wouldn't want you to be alone and unhappy like this."

"It's not that easy, 'Tiff'." Sarcasm.

"I know it's not. Believe it or not Taeyeon, I've lost people too. Family members, friends...its fucking hard. It's so awful having to see them being buried in the ground and knowing your last words to them were not 'I love you' and that you weren't there on their deathbed to say goodbye. I know. Of course it will be different because she was your girlfriend and you loved her but Taeyeon you need to let go, move on and start being happy again."

"Are you saying this for your benefit? So I'll 'let go' and just suddenly-" I cut her off, not wanting her to bring up what I had said previously. This was about her, not me.

"Not at all" I frowned. "But I'm trying to be a friend here, to give you advice to be able to live, actually live. She will always be in here, always." I said as I pointed to her heart. "If you're afraid of forgetting her, don't worry, it's not possible."

"She's in hell though, right?" The bitterness in her voice as she looked at me caused me to bite my lip in guilt. Thoughts paraded through my head about how badly I treated every single homosexual I had ever met. I regretted the discriminating words that came from my mouth just because my beliefs said so when in fact, I should've been respectful to them despite their choices.

"Of course she is. Isn't that what God does to gays?" She pressed.

"No, listen to me. I may be a Christian but I don't know everything about him. Homosexuality is a sin in the bible, true. But your girlfriend sounded like an amazing person, I can't imagine God sending her to hell just for loving... you."

"You seem to have changed your tune." Sarcasm. And I could barely stand it anymore, this would probably be about the time I would walk out but I was finally seeing the real her. Well...glimpses of her. Her real self and her facade were like two personalities right now, both fighting to be seen. I wasn't sure which one was winning.

"Maybe my feelings were all that was needed for me to see clearly. I was so caught up in everything that God said was good and bad that I didn't realise it affected people differently since I was judging them and discriminating them by their sexual orientation. Which was completely wrong for me to do, I admit that."

And then… It happened. Bricks started to fall, one by one... She opened herself to me and if it wasn't a tender and emotional moment, I'd be smiling widely. Taeyeon leaned back, tilted her head upwards and looked up at the ceiling, focusing on once specific spot. Her eyebrows were furrowed in concentration as she began to speak her mind.

"Sometimes I wonder if he exists...If he does, I'd want to ask him something."

"What would you ask him?" I replied almost too eagerly.

Taeyeon took a deep breath, still staring at that same spot. "I'd ask why his definition of love is so different than everyone else's. How can it be so different from mine when we all know that...it simply feels good to love."

This was happening, she was doing it. Soon she wasn't talking to God anymore, she was talking to me.

"Everything...my body, my mind, my heart and my soul. My whole being pointed out to that person and told me that what I was feeling wasn't something to be ashamed of. It wasn't a lie. How can that be so bad in the eyes of so many and in the eyes of God?" She then lowered her gaze, instead resting them on my own. They were full of confusion while mine were full of pride. "I just don't get it."

We shared a moment, it was silence but it was just us together. Completely out in the open and nobody disturbing us. From the look on her face, Taeyeon was still willing to let out more, and I didn't want to be the one to ruin that. I was patient, she needed time. This was indeed a very big step for someone like her who had kept to herself for years.

"Everyone I've ever met has their own ideas of what's right or wrong and a lot of them are influenced by religion… I've experienced love but why do I deserve hell for loving when it's the closest to heaven I am when I feel it? Because society says so? The Bible? God?" Suddenly the conversation was turned onto me. "Is that the concept of loveyou have?"

I hadn't even noticed but a tear had fallen down my cheek just from being witness to the passion in her words, the words nobody but me had heard. My eyes stared deeply into hers that were showing how hurt she actually felt, how frustrated she must feel with the situation. I then looked down at my hands, my fingers fidgeting. She was right. I was such a horrible person for being so judgemental towards her. And not just her, to everyone.

"No." I answered, as sure as I could be. "At least not now, not anymore." Suddenly everything felt okay, everything felt right in the world because at that moment Taeyeon's gaze was soft, warm, the corners of her lips tugging into something that I hadn't yet seen properly. I couldn't help but release another tear at the sight. Her smile was so beautiful...

What I got next were not words, but one sole action of acceptance by the person I'd somehow always wanted it from. Taeyeon, with that same small smile on her face, nodded. I knew from that, she knew that I had changed for the better. That was all I needed from her.

It was so little but it felt like so much, the moment between us so emotional yet so incredible. I wanted to smash the radio against the wall for even daring to interrupt when Yuri's voice spoke through it to tell me I was needed. I whimpered slightly before responding, my eyes not leaving Taeyeon's for a second. I wanted this to last as long as possible.

Unfortunately though, I didn't have the time. With great reluctancy I stood up and fixed my belt while my eyes still stayed locked on hers. When I finally turned to leave however, an idea came to my mind. It was naughty, but somehow I knew it would leave somewhat of an impression. Becoming brave, I leaned in to whisper in her ear a small smirk on my face...

"In my opinion, you are so much better than her."