John opened his eyes, frowning a moment as he tried to remember where he was. Then something moved against him and he was wide awake. To his embarrassment, and thankfully her ignorance, in more ways than one. He tried to shift from behind her but Anna took a deep breath and slid against John.

His barely muffled groan had her jumping up and John pushed himself back against the wall to give her space. She blinked, trying to place where she was, and only John's hand on her arm stopped her from falling out of the bunk. They settled a moment and both gave an awkward laugh.

"Good morning." He managed, grabbing at the sheet on the bed but Anna bit her lip and blushed slightly when she saw his erection.

"I'd say." Anna adjusted so her back was against the foot of the bed and John had the sheets up to his waist at the head of the bed. "How'd you sleep?"

"Better than I've had in some time." John craned around to check his watch, "I have a few hours before I'm supposed to take Ondine fishing. I could take you back and-"

"I don't know if that's what I want yet." She chewed on her lip before placing her hand on the sheet. "If you don't mind I'd like to do something else."

"I don't- I don't know if I'm up for it."

"You're already up for it." Anna tugged the sheet down to leave John exposed. "Unless you're lying to me."

"That'd be hard to do."

"Because you're already hard?"

"That's not the issue."

"What is?"

John coughed as Anna slid up the bed toward him. "Something I think you should think about before we continue this proposal."

"And what would that be?"

"I didn't use… I didn't have…"

"Protection?" Anna shook her head as she sat herself on his thighs, her hands on either side of his waist. "We don't need it."

"See I'm convinced we do because I've a pretty good success rate with unprotected sex." John shivered when Anna's fingers trailed up his arms to rest on his shoulders. "Ondine is proof that the one time I took Vera at her word and didn't use a condom we got pregnant."

"Your success isn't the issue in this case so don't worry over it." Anna leaned back, not meeting John's eyes. "I can't have children."

"You're sure?"

"Two years without a baby'll tell you that."

"Maybe it wasn't you who was the problem." John swallowed, trying to get her attention back. "Maybe it was whatever douche bag you were with. The one who didn't make you feel love or cared for or help you climax."

"It wasn't him."

"What makes you so confident he was on the level?"

"He got someone else pregnant." Anna shrugged, sliding to the side and leaving John to close his eyes and bang his head a moment on the paneling behind him.

"I'm sorry I-" He shook his head, "It's none of my business and I messed this up and I'm… I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-"

"No," She stopped him, putting her hand over his mouth. "You're trying to be accommodating and I ruined it and it's-" Anna shook her head, moving to get up when John put his hand on her arm.

"Please don't go." John let out a breath, "I think we need to take a breather before we start jumping back to 'start' here."

"What?"

John motioned to them, then gave an awkward laugh. "We're trying to have a conversation about sex when we're both naked and then jumped right in the deep end of the pool."

"We're out in the middle of a bay." Anna knocked on the window, "I think we're in deep water already."

"But it's… it's different." John opened his hand to her, "Last night was glorious and wonderful and if it's the only time I ever did it with you I'd remember it for the rest of my life as the best experience I ever had."

"I would too."

"However," John covered her hands with his, "I'd like to not be the only time. If that doesn't scare you."

"It does, but not in the way you think." Anna took a deep breath, "Last night I wanted you to know that my life changed the day you found me in your net because that was the day I could leave my old life behind. To be someone different."

"Then you won't tell me who you are?"

Anna shook her head, "It's best for everyone if you've got nothing more to remember me by than my first name and a good experience."

"Why?"

She held his gaze, "I can't tell you."

"Is it because you're a mythical creature who came from the sea?" John reached forward to put his free hand on her cheek. "Or is it because of something a little more earth-bound."

Anna shook her head again. "I can't tell you."

John nodded, fingers gliding over her face. "You don't have to."

"No?"

"No." John held tighter on her hands, "But if there's anything I could ever do for you, all you would need to do is ask me and I'd do it. In a heartbeat."

"You don't even know me."

"But I want to." John brought both hands to her face, "Isn't that enough?"

Anna leaned into his hold and kissed him, her hands clamping on his neck to give her the direction she needed. John succumbed to her kiss, falling victim to her onslaught, and tried his best to use his heels to guide their descent so he lay back on the mattress. Her legs positioned on either side of his hips and her knees clamped there to hold steady while she plundered his mouth.

His fingers fell slowly from her face, skimming down to trace over her collarbones while Anna broke their kiss to lay a trail of kisses over his cheekbones. As he cupped her breasts in his hands, shifting the solid weight there with his fingers, Anna sucked at his jaw to work a pattern from ear to ear. And when John massaged there she lifted her head to moan.

Seizing his chance, John worked his mouth over her neck to leave a trail of kisses from her chin to her breasts. He teased there, sucking and kneading, before Anna gripped his hair hard enough to direct him where she wanted. When John finally wrapped his lips over her nipple she barely contained the trembling cry of pleasure.

With her nails digging crescents into one of his shoulders, her other hand smoothed its way down his body. John barely noticed when she dug her nails in, responding to a particularly enthusiastic lick or nip, and only bucked under Anna as her grip stopped. His erection twitched and swelled in her palm before working a groan from him in time with her squeeze.

They stopped, staring at one another a moment, and John swore he could hear the individual drops of water as they hit the outside of his boat. Anna loosened her grip and pulled to the end of her stroke before working back to the base. John flailed a hand for a solid hold, gripping the sheets under him for all he was worth until his knuckles whitened.

She smiled at him, slowly her pace to retrace the path of her lips over him. John's hips jerked and stuttered, trying to answer the call, and he slipped his fingers over her body in reply. Anna barely paused and only stopped when John started teasing of his own.

Her moans joined his when he opened her and played between the labors of his fingers inside her and his thumb on her. Anna's hand mapped the soft skin of his arousal, tracing down to handle the weight beneath, and continued to tantalize until John's other hand gripped her wrist. They both froze, a temporary flash of terror over her eyes leading John to immediately release her. But she shook it off and positioned her knees so his ready and weeping erection begged entrance.

"Anna-"

"Shh." She put a finger over his mouth, "It's what I want."

Sliding down slowly, she closed her eyes and let out a breath when John bottomed out. He left his hands to the side, flexing in the sheets but determined to wait, until Anna used them to pull John to a sitting position. John bit back his moan at the feel of her under and over him.

Anna placed John's hands on her ass and turned his face to her. "I want this. I want this with you."

"For how long?"

"As long as we can." Her mouth went to his ear, her hands holding onto him as if he was the only solid thing she could feel. "Can that be enough?"

"Yes." John used his hands to hold Anna in place as he moved.

Her hips responded, returning his thrusts with rocking motions to bring herself over the edge. John followed soon after but they did not separate. Anna rested her forehead on his shoulder and sighed.

"I'm sorry."

"Why?" John tried to lean back, to see her face better.

Anna wiped at tears in her eyes, "Because I'm not the kind of person you need."

"You're everything I need."

"No," She shook her head, "I'm not. You need someone who could walk hand-in-hand with you down a street. Someone who could take care of Ondine. Someone who could be your wife with no strings attached and nothing holding them back."

"I need you." John held her face. "For however long you'll have me. That's enough for me."

He ran his thumb over one of her tears and gave a snorting laugh. "Ondine told me that selkies cry three tears. When they do they get to stay with their fisherman."

"Is that a fact?" Anna looked at her hand, "I think this is more than three."

"Then it means you'll definitely say."

"I hope so." She held closer to him, "I want to hope so."

They held one another until John's beeping watch startled them both. John turned it off and nodded toward a little door. "There's a shower through there. You can use it while I start steering us back and then-"

"You use it first." Anna extricated herself, "That way I don't get seen driving your boat back."

"Do you know how to get it started?"

Anna nodded, picking up his clothes from the floor and working into his shirt. "Enough to not wreck us until you can get through a shower."

"Are you sure?"

"Guess you'll have to shower fast to find out." Anna slipped her feet into his over-large boots and tramped up to the steerage.

John smiled to himself, hurrying through the shower and drying off only enough to get into this trousers and coveralls. He took his jumper and headed to where Anna guided the boat as carefully as she could, avoiding getting near any of the others. He tapped her on the shoulder and pointed to his shirt.

"I'm going to need that and those boots back."

"I should probably wait until it won't be a show for everyone." She smiled and eased past him to get below deck.

He watched her as she walked out of his boots and grinned over her shoulder before pulling the shirt over her head to toss it to him. John swallowed at the sight of her walking naked to the shower but shook himself. Yanking the shirt over his head, smelling faint of something flowery, he pulled the jumper over it next and worked into his boots to finish guiding the boat back to his mother's dock.

When they landed Anna walked him to his truck. For a moment he wanted to kiss her but instead just grabbed her hand. She smiled and kissed his cheek.

"I thought you'd want a kiss before you left."

"I'd like that very much but I didn't want to assume."

"You've taken no liberties with me, John." Anna separated their hands. "Nothing I've done has been for any reason but my own pleasure… and I hope yours."

"That's not a question."

"Good." Anna nodded to the truck, "You'd best go get Ondine or she'll think I'm stealing all your time."

"She'd like that excuse. Her mother, on the other hand," John ground his teeth. "Sorry, that's not-"

"It's fine." Anna walked back to the house, "Tell Ondine, when it's safe, that I said hello."

"I will." John raised a hand to her before climbing into his truck.

With a glance at his watch John steered himself around the hills toward the edge of town. He pulled to a stop outside a small, stone church. John chewed the inside of his cheek a moment and got out of the truck to walk into the church.

His knee hit the ground inside the entrance before dipping his fingers into the water to make the cross. He walked to the front pew as the priest emerged from a side door. They made eye contact and the priest lowered the basket in his hands.

"If I'd known you were coming I would've invited your confession while I was pulling weeds from the garden."

"You know I'm not a good gardener Father."

"Not as good as me but I just needed hands." The priest opened his hand toward the front pew, "Or should we do this officially?"

John turned to look over his shoulder at the empty church. "Do you think we'll be interrupted?"

"Not today." The priest snorted, "It's Ireland versus England. Every pub on this fair isle'll be filled with the most devout giving their prayers where they think it matters most."

"Doesn't it?"

"I'm for England so I think I should keep that to myself." The priest sat next to him, sighing. "Who knew you and I'd be sitting like this when years ago we were dodging bullets together."

"You were already doing this job so I guess I just thought you'd be in Yorkshire instead of here." John gave a little snort, "Back then you were Major Crawley, chaplain and all around do-gooder."

"I'm still an all around do-gooder." Father Crawley joined in the laughter, "But oh the stories we tell and the people we don't even recognize as ourselves."

"Yeah."

They sat in silence a moment before Father Crawley shifted to turn his body toward John. "But you're not here to reminisce, are you?"

"I'm here to confess a bit I guess."

"Still as your version of AA or because you want absolution for something?"

"Not sure if I want absolution for something I did that I enjoyed."

"Ah," Father Crawley nodded, "Sins of the flesh I'm guessing."

"That's right."

"Not with your ex-wife was it?" John gave a look of such disgust Father Crawley held up his hands, "You've mentioned in the past that when you got yourself drunk you'd done it."

"I'd need to be pissed enough to see the devil himself as the worse option for that to happen again. No," John shook his head, "It was another woman."

"Do you love this woman?"

"Does that matter in fornication?"

"No, not in those terms, but using a woman for your sexual pleasure is a different mindset than having sex with someone you love."

"I didn't use anyone."

"Then I can say you're probably not as horrible as you think." Father Crawley took a breath, "But you don't know if you love her?"

"There's a lot about her to love but I don't know her enough to say I love her." John raked a hand through his hair. "I don't know anything about her and yet I feel like I could love her. In a way I never felt with Vera after I knew everything about her and even married her."

"Love is a difficult thing to quantify. Sometimes it's as deep as the ocean in moments with someone while we could spend a lifetime trying to deepen a connection to someone else that's no more than a puddle."

John frowned, "What would you describe your love as Father?"

"Before Cora died I'd say we had to make that furrow together." Father Crawley smiled to himself, "We labored on it and I can say now that I love her more everyday."

"Even though she's passed?"

Father Crawley nodded, "With all the certainty of my soul."

"But you had to work on that love?"

"We both committed to it and found love together." Father Crawley stood, "But now she and our son are wrapped in the loving arms of a loving God."

"I hope so." John stood as well, "Can't say I have the testimony of it that you do but I believe it's possible."

"With God, all things are possible." Father Crawley made the sign of the cross over John. "Just know this John, you're strong enough to bear the burdens placed upon you."

John embraced Father Crawley and left the chapel.

John dropped anchor and walked out to where Ondine had her eyes closed in the sunlight. "Sorry you're missing the match?"

"No." Ondine cracked an eyelid to look at him. "Mum and Dick'll be using the empty house to-"

"Okay, no more internet for you." John held up a hand to stop her. "I actually wanted to ask you something."

"What?"

"What do you think of Anna?"

"She's nice."

John blinked at her, "That's it?"

"What?"

"You're the most loquacious ten-year-old in the history of mankind and that's what you've got. 'She's nice'?"

"I'm not giving you a speech about that when I could give you a speech about the rumpled sheets in the cabin." Ondine grinned, "Don't think I didn't see them."

John reddened then leveled a finger at her, "That's not the point."

"What is the point?"

"What do you think of her?"

"If you're asking for my permission for a new mum then you've got it." Ondine paused, "Unless that's not what you're asking from me right now."

"It's not."

Ondine leaned back in her chair, "She's got secrets, that's for sure. She's a selkie, they've all got them."

"I don't think she's a selkie."

"A woman with no last name, a seal coat, and the ability to sing fish into your net just gets caught up and rescued from the bay?" Ondine shook her head, "That's not how it works."

"People do get lost as sea you know."

"Not those with magical powers."

"We don't know she has them."

Ondine smiled, "I think we do."

John pursed his lips, "So you think she's safe?"

"I don't think she'd hurt me and I don't think she'll hurt you."

"So you don't mind?"

"That you're sleeping with her?"

"That she's staying around." John shook his head, "Seriously, no internet for you. And no cable."

"No Da, I don't mind." Ondine looked back out at the waves, "I want her to stay around."

"Me too." John kissed the top of Ondine's head, "Me too."