Weiss Reacts to Beauty Pageants, Part 3!

A/N: Welcome, one and all, to the exciting- okay, that's a lie, it's not that exciting- conclusion of this arc of Weiss Reacts! Fanservice abounds! Also, madness. Definitely madness. Why do you ask?

Because squids.

That is all. Let us begin the madness. The MADNESS SHALL BEGIN WAHAHAHAHA

Also, I must apologise for the late updates as of late- I've had to deal with a lot of exams and revision stuff. I'll try my best to keep to schedule, but I don't make any promises.

DISCLAIMER: RWBY doesn't belong to me, otherwise Ozpin would be a literal wizard (complete with wizard beard and pointy hat.

All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.

"And finally, after Sun Wukong's...rather exhibitionist act..." Roman muttered, watching the shirtless monkey Faunus walk off the stage. "Our final contestant, Vivi...Scarlatina? Eh."

The tiny plushie girl walked out on the stage, wearing nothing but her usual skirt, jacket and a strange tiny scarf.

The audience burst into applause as her devoted fans started clapping and squeeing happily.

Weiss tilted her head. "Is that a piece of Coco's scarf? It looks like Coco's."

"Does it matter?" Yang complained. "I got beaten out in applause by a plushie, my sister in a penguin suit and a fancy girl in a Victorian dress!"

Blake glared at her. "What are you complaining about?! I'm the one who had to walk out there looking like a dominatrix!"

"You didn't mind it!"

"My stuttering and pleading not to wear it counts as not minding?! Are you deaf?!"

Ruby hugged them all with her penguin suit, frowning. "Hey, guys, don't start arguing..."

"If anything, the only person who can complain is Jaune!" Weiss snapped, pointing her thumb towards the knight. "He nearly got mobbed!"

"I want to get mobbed!" Yang complained.

Weiss grabbed her and shook her by the shoulders, an almost insane look in her eyes.

"THIS SEXINESS THING IS GOING TOO FAR YOU CRAZY WOMAN DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF GOING TOO FAR OR DO I HAVE TO DRUM IT INTO YOUR THICK SKULL YOU MORONIC DUNCE"

Blake and Ruby had to wrench Weiss off of the brawler before she would stop shaking her. Yang stumbled around slightly, still reeling from being shaken.

"Gah...my eyes..." Yang put a hand to her head. "Owwww, Weeeeiss..."

The heiress, meanwhile, was all but frothing at the mouth in annoyance.

Meanwhile, Vivi casually strutted back in, her stubby arms raised as if to bask in her glory.

"Pi," the plushie uttered confidently, placing her hands on her hips. "Pii pi."

Ruby snickered. "That's an awfully big boast from an awfully small plushie..."
"Piipiipii piii." Vivi declared, popping on triangle shades. "Pii pii pii pi pipipi pi!"

Ren sighed. "I can't believe we might get beaten in a beauty contest by a plushie."

Nora shrugged, rooting through their collective bag for her tapdancing shoes. "No matter about that! We gotta win this next portion!"

"Wait, shush!" Jaune held up his hand. "Guys, guys, Roman's about to announce the winner!"

"You serious?" Cardin, clad in a sleek black leather jacket and jeans, complete with sunglasses, looked up. "Who won?"

"Alright, ladies and gents." Roman announced over the din of the audience. "The results are in from your votes, and for the first round...

The person in third place is Vivi, the second is Winter, and our winner for this round is, of course, Jaune."

The ensuing squee all but drowned out all other noise in the hall.

Yang frowned. "Dammit! I did get beaten by a plushie!"

Vivi smirked, doing a tiny dance on the floor triumphantly. "Pipipipi."

"Plushie swag." Jaune sighed, chuckling good-naturedly. "How did I think you'd say that?"

Blake sighed in relief, flicking off a stray fleck of dust on her bare shoulder. "Well, at least I can make up for that embarrassment."

Grinning suddenly, she donned her triangle shades and whipped out her Core Drill, before grabbing her Dio-blessed guitar, Fuckslayer.

"I've been dying to take back my manliness since Volume One."

Nora crossed her arms, scoffing. "Heh. It's my turn to be badass! I'll show the world how tapdancing Vikings do it! Long live Clan Valkyrie!"

Yang cracked her knuckles. "Right. Time to prove myself! Let's see about being beaten by a plushie, eh?"

Weiss sighed, shaking her head. "I don't know whether to root for you or to hope you lose. I'll have to go for the former, as I rather like free food..."

Roman stood up in front of the audience once more, clutching his mic firmly.

"Alright, ladies and gents, the next portion today- the talent show. Or- and I'm quoting Cinder here- time for everyone to make an absolute fool of themselves." He sighed, glaring at the giggling instructor as if to say "Seriously?" before shaking his head and reading the roster.

"Right, first up...Nora Valkyrie, and her tapdancing routine!"
Nora jumped and squealed happily, before hugging Ren tightly for luck.

"Wish me luck, Renny! It's time for me to make my debut as the rightful Queen of Sloths and Tapdancing!" Nora declared proudly before walking out onto the stage.

Ren sighed, shaking his head. "She's lucky she's cute...her insanity really makes it hard to deal with her sometimes."

Weiss gave him a dark glare. "You try dealing with Yang."

...

Nora finished her tapdancing routine with a small leap in the air, kicking her boots together, her faux-blonde locks swishing in the air under her Viking helmet, before landing and taking a bow towards a shocked audience.

Even her fanclub, the Nora Valkyrie Pancake Breakfast Society, was speechless, although mainly from joy.

"Thank you all for your patronage! Long live the Pancake God!" With that, Nora skipped happily off stage, giggling.

Roman's eyelid twitched as he watched her from his vantage point.

"What in the..." He muttered, before shaking his head and grabbing his microphone. "Alright...that was certainly...a thing.

Next up, Blake Belladonna!"

The catgirl strolled on stage, her guitar slung over her clothing. She breathed in deeply, looking at the microphone supplied to her, and gazing at the audience, who stared at her attire.

That was now irrelevant.

It was her time, at long last. This was it.

'I've been waiting months to take my manliness back.

Hokuago Tea-Time, eat your heart out.'

She started up her song by slowly building her way up to the first lines by carefully strumming her guitar.

Blake inhaled deeply, a grin growing on her face.

'Let's go.'

"Has he lost his mind? Can he see or is he blind? Can he walk at all? Or if he moves, will he fall?

Is he live or dead? Has he thoughts within his head? We'll just pass him there!

Why should we even care?"

The audience absolutely exploded as Blake continued her rendition, a faint aura of green around her from the sheer awesome being emitted, while Yang recognised the song, snapping her fingers.

"Iron Man? Oh...you sneaky, sneaky minx." The brawler applauded. "Excellent job."

"Nobody wants him!" Blake belted out loudly. "He just stares at the world!...

...Planning his vengeance...that he will soon unfurl!"

...

"Heavy boots of lead, fills his victims full of dread! Running as fast they can!

Iron Man lives again!" Blake rounded off and began the coda, her aura of Spiral Energy flaring up as she did so, only barely being held in place by the protective charms Professor Faust had placed in, and the song being barely audible over the din of the audience.

Yang stared at her teammate as she finally ended the song with a sweep of her Core Drill over her guitar, before raising her arms and basking in the glory of applause as the audience gave standing ovations and demands for encores.

Blake nodded assuredly. "That's right. I've still got it."

Faust wiped a tear from her eye. "A beautiful story of justice...I rate it a ten."
"It's about a time traveller who ends up being the tyrant he travelled back in time to try to avert." Glynda complained. "How is that beautiful?!"
"Beautiful? It's poetic." The sorceress adjusted her glasses. "Absolutely poetic."

After that, barely anyone managed to get a similar response, save Weiss and her equally excellent rendition of Only My Railgun, Winter and her piano recreation of Red Like Roses and Jaune's skilled dancing- although whether it was the dancing or the dancer that induced the clapping was vague, much to the knight's dismay.

Even Vivi's juggling of unusually large bottles managed to gain a giggle from the audience, but Yang's futile attempt at a boastful rap managed to silence everyone.

Yang growled as she stepped off stage. "Dammit...how do you guys get so successful?!"
"Don't try so hard." Blake reminded her. "You just sound like you're desperately trying to impress the audience- which, you are, but that's beyond the point.

You need to sound more natural."

"S-seriously, h-how do I beat Winter? S-she sounds like a professional!" The brawler cried. Weiss nodded.

"That's because she all but is. She's been doing the piano since she was five, Yang. She's about as good with the piano as she is at stealing your spotlight."

Yang glared at her. "S-shut up about my spotlight!"

"I needed a metaphor and that was convenient." The heiress said with a mischievous grin.

"Somehow, I doubt that."

Ren stretched his arms, taking off his shirt. "Alright, ladies, time for you to scrabble off backstage. It's swimsuit time."

Weiss looked down, ashamed. "Oh, just kill me now please."

Blake sighed in relief, looking down at her dominatrix outfit. "Thank Dust! I can take this damn thing off! My swimsuit is less revealing than this!"
Yang chuckled. "I don't know, Blake. You look hot like that-ow!"

She rubbed her arm after an embarrassed Blake punched her.

"D-don't say it like that!"
"But it's true, Blakey~ I never knew your bust was so bi-"

This time, she was interrupted by a pillow being smashed into her face by Weiss, a furious expression on the latter's face.

"PERVERT!"
Blake merely hugged her arms to her chest and sprinted off, blushing.

"G-gah!"

Ren shook his head. "Looks like I might be collecting on the Bumblebee Shipping pool a bit sooner than expected."

Pyrrha held her hand up. "Shush! They're going to tell us the winner of that round!"

Roman stepped out in front, reading out from his tablet the result of the audience vote.

"Well...it was a close thing. But, of course, in third place, we have Pyrrha's love poetry-"
"I'm guessing that was about Jaune?" Ruby inquired, to which the spearmaiden responded by twiddling her fingers and blushing.

"...p-possibly.."

Jaune's cheeks rouged. "P-Pyrrha!"

"...I-I can't lie, Jaune-kun..." Pyrrha admitted meekly.

"In second, we have...err, Winter's piano version of Red Like Roses, and in first, surprisingly, Blake stealing the show with her cover of Iron Man!"

Nora stomped the ground indignantly. "Dammit! How didn't I win for tapdancing?! D-don't these people appreciate tapdancing? It is the most holiest of arts, along with pancake making and sloth calling!

A-amateurs..." Nora sniffled sadly.

Ruby pumped her fist. "One step closer to winning that prize!"
"Heh." Ren scoffed. "I promise you, with Pyrrha and Jaune on our team, we've got the swimsuit portion."

"Alrighty, the swimsuit portion!" Roman called out, looking over at the suddenly drooling, more attentive audience. "Oh, get off it, you perverts.

Just for that, the first contestant out is Vivi."

Vivi did indeed stroll out, in a one-piece blue swimsuit with a tiny shark floatation ring around her round waist, strutting confidently onto the stage.

"Pi~"

"AAAHAHHH!"

"SO CUTE"
"WHY DOES SHE HAVE THAAAT MY NUTBLADDER"

Elsewhere in the audience, the Vivi Glomping Society had a small scuffle with the Weiss Schnee Appreciation Society over the perceived cuteness of the objects of their appreciation. This was quickly broken up by a glare from Cinder.

The next contestant was Yang, in- what else- a yellow flame-patterned bikini, leaving almost nothing to the imagination. She moved confidently on the stage, smiling as she felt the eyes of her admirers on her bare skin, some fainting with nosebleeds and others merely staring at her form with drooling mouths.

The Yang Xiao Long Appreciation Group cheered her name, raising banners with her head on it over their heads and wolf-whistling at her.

"Thanks, guys!" Yang called back, blowing a kiss at the audience. "I love you all too~"

With that, she strutted back offstage, taking care to emphasise her rump with her walk.

Weiss rolled her eyes. "You really enjoyed that, didn't you."
"I'm confident in my body, unlike some people." The brawler retorted, smirking. "I'd like Winter to beat-"

Winter then strolled on stage, clad in a white dress tied around her waist, patterned with what looked like Edelweiss flowers, and her chest hidden by a relatively modest single piece of snowflake-patterned cloth.

"Was I too overdressed?" Winter inquired, genuinely confused. "I heard swimsuit and, well, I wore the clothes I always do to the beach-"

"AAAAHHHH"

"She's so...hot..."
"WINTER-SEMPAI HAVE MY BABIES"

Her own admirers began collectively drooling or getting nosebleeds. Even without showing most of her skin, Winter was still incredibly appealing.

Weiss sighed. "As usual, my sister is-oh, Yang! You pervert!"

"Huh?" Yang turned to her from staring at Winter, one of her nostrils leaking blood.

"YOU PERVERT!"
"W-what are you talking about?! I-I didn't perv on Winter! I-it's not like s-she's perfect!" The brawler protested. "Perfect mix of muscles and fat, nice as-"
"THAT'S MY SISTER, YOU PERVERTED DEVIANT!" The heiress snapped. "QUIT THAT!"
"You perv over my sister and I don't stop you!"

"That's a different case and you know that!"

"No it isn't!"

While Yang and Weiss squabbled, Jaune took his place on the stage.

He had a plain navy-blue pair of swimming trunks, exposing his toned yet slender body, smooth, tanned skin from years of Hunting and a figure most adult men, let alone teenagers, would die to attain.

It was too much for his admirers, most of whom who fainted or started crying at the fact that they couldn't mob the stage.

Jaune sighed in relief as some of his more persistent fans were held back by purple bars of energy, courtesy of Professor Faust.
Meanwhile, backstage...

"Pyrrha. Pyrrrrha!" Ren snapped his fingers as she and Minako both stared at the knight from offstage.

The spearmaiden mumbled out softly. "He's even...more perfect..."
"...than I imagined..." The brunette next to her finished, staring in wonder at him.

Weiss crossed her arms, blushing. "Hmph. I've seen better-sis! What are you doing?!"

Winter tilted her head at him. "Huh. I wonder what's making everyone stare at him?"
"What's making you stare at him?!"

"...I haven't the foggiest. He has a good physique for a boy of his age, I'll give you that..." Winter nodded, completely oblivious as usual.

The heiress facepalmed. "Why must you be intelligent in everything but this?!"

Of course, compared to that, even Ruby's adorable one-piece swimsuit and Weiss' own bikini- her walk predictably punctuated with fits of rage and denial about her chest size- paled.

Roman cleared his throat to settle the audience down, nodding.

"Alright, you guys had your fun, now!

In descending order, Winter, Jaune and Yang are our top contestants for that round!"

Yang pumped her fist." YES! I came CLOSE! CLOSE, DAMMIT!"

Blake shook her head. "Well, now that that round's over, there's no way we'll win the next one. None of us can cross-dress as convincingly as Jaune."

Jaune closed his eyes, shaking his head. "Oh, now it's the crossdressing round..."
Ren placed his hand on the knight's shoulder. "Just a few more minutes. Don't worry."

Pyrrha was nearby, resisting the urge to squeal at the concept of Jaune in a dress.

"And so, the final round of the pageant, the crossdressing round!" Roman announced, waiting out the ensuing rapturous applause before continuing.

"Firstly, may we introduce the greatest heartbre-actually, you know what, that sounds stupid and I'm not some cheesy emcee." Roman scoffed. "Just give it up for Weiss!"

Weiss strolled onto stage, dressed in a sharp white business suit, her tiara gone and her hair tucked underneath a white wig. Her piercing blue eyes were behind plain, thin square-rimmed glasses, as she looked calmly down at the audience, a frown on her face.

The audience clapped slowly, with murmurs of approval.

"Yeah, we all know what you're really here for." Weiss shrugged. "Let's get on with it."

With that, she walked off.

Roman read his tablet, clearing his throat once more.

"Next up, the main attraction- Cinder's words, not mine- Jaune, step on up!"

Jaune slowly walked on stage, trembling in his clothes.

"...h-hi..."

He was dressed in a white blouse with a long navy-blue skirt, with his hair hidden with a blonde wig in a small tight bun over the top of his head. Relatively modest, but it was enough to make Jaune appear to be a woman.

"Oh my..."
"I'd hit that."
"Is that really Jaune?"

"I feel conflicted!"

'This is embarrassing...' Jaune thought, mortified.

He slowly walked back off, ignoring the leers following him off, followed by thunderous applause and yelling of names.

Compared to that, of course, nobody else had any chance.

Minutes later...

"...and the contestants who came in are..." Roman read off the tablet carefully. "...hm. In third place, Vivi managed to scrape the overall vote."
"Pi!" Vivi gestured proudly to herself, nodding.

"...in second came Yang."
"DAMMIT!" The brawler cursed.

"And in first...our joint winners...after much deliberation from the judges..." Roman declared. "...are Winter and Jaune!"

The audience absolutely exploded, clapping and shouting their names as loud as they could. Winter looked to her fellow winner, smiling tenderly.

"I guess our teams will share the boon."
"...heh. Yeah." Jaune extended his hand. "Good one."

Winter shook it. "Indeed, Mister Arc."

She held it for far longer than necessary- or, at least, far longer than Pyrrha declared necessary.

The spearmaiden cleared her throat. "Winter."

"Oh! Oh my." The lady took her hand back, blushing slightly.

Jaune chuckled. "No, no, it's fine. Really."

"...I-I apologise if I was being rude..."

Yang, meanwhile, sobbed with her face in her hands. "I still lost...dammit..."

Winter frowned at her. "What's wrong? Is there something I can do for Miss Xiao Long, Weiss?"

Weiss merely grinned.

"No. Not really. She'll be fine."

"My sexiness...I'll never reclaim the sexy..."

Blake sat next to her, patting her on the back.

"I don't think punching you in the face will do you much good this time round, sadly..."

Needless to say, all was well in Beacon for now- except for Yang's reputation, of course.

END

A/N: And there ends that arc! Next chapter, Jaune and Blake React to 'Blake and Jaune's Infinite Playlist!' A huge thanks to UhhICanExplain for letting us do their fic!

So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, criticisms, thoughts, reviews and suggestions and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!