It had never felt so wrong to walk away from someone, yet strangely at the same time relief flooded my body. A heaving breath escaped my lips with every step. And with every step, I felt the weight on my shoulders get lighter. Whether it was because I was free of what would have been severe repercussions from being caught or just the feeling of being free from her. That sounds bad, I know but she had led me to think that way. She was not innocent in this. I had given and given...and given only to have nothing in return and that's what caused me to put up this false wall, something to prevent me from getting hurt. Taeyeon had a wall too, she had always had a wall. Never had it come crumbling down, it had stayed strong throughout all of my attempts, fooling me into security and excitement by merely pretending to fall. In reality, nothing had happened of the sort.
As I walked I breathed in the fresh air of the outdoors, free of the bodily emissions of the many prisoners as I increased my distance from the place I was leaving behind. I was to start all over again, a new city, new colleagues...perhaps new friends too. The only thing I wouldn't be doing, was getting into another troublesome situation like I had with Taeyeon. No way, I'd learnt from my mistakes. Learnt that however incredible someone can make you feel, they can take that away just as easily with hurtful words.
My steps got slower, I began to drag my feet. I didn't want to look back, but I did. Many times in fact. There was that overwhelming urge to run back, to not leave her alone in that place but wasn't that what she wanted? She had always been isolated, not talking to anybody until I came along and that was the way she'd no doubt stay. It's not what I wanted, of course. I wanted her to smile once in a while despite still being mad at her. I wanted her to make friends, play games in the courtyard to keep her brain active. I wanted a lot of things for her, but did I still want her to get her freedom?
It would be too easy for me to sit there and say that I wanted her to complete her original sentence even though she in my eyes was innocent. To watch her crumble under the pressure of the court and witness it all fall through, see her emotions pour out of her when she realised her chances of getting released had blown. After all she had said and done to me, didn't she deserve that... to stay there? To be punished further?
Each time that thought crossed my mind, I tried to convince myself that maybe it would give me satisfaction for her to feel only a fraction of what I had. To feel something being ripped harshly from you with no regret or remorse. I tried, but it didn't happen. I still cared for her, I mean of course I did. I thought I knew love before all of this happened only to find I knew nothing of the sort. The incredible and addicting feeling it was to just look at that person, to have her touch you, feel every inch of your skin, kiss every part of your body. Bringing immense pleasure with her tongue, her fingers with that electrifying touch...
But that was no more. All that we shared was for nothing. All that had come out of it was pain. She made it clear to me today that I had been used, that there wasn't really a relationship or feelings involved from her side. I felt like an object, a toy she just decided one day to stop using.
My love for her had hit me full force, almost as if out of nowhere and too fast to contemplate...yet she shot me down even faster. Yuri had been right all along and looking back, I really wished I had listened to perhaps my most loyal friend. She had stuck by me even when I was going against the law, against my morals and also against her. Yuri was someone who came along once in a lifetime. A friend like that deserved so much more than what I gave her...and she was the one who I'd no doubt miss most in the long run.
Taeyeon would stay in my thoughts for a good, long while. Yes, but eventually...heartbreakingly, I'd find another to share my heart with. But Yuri would stay with me forever and I was determined to make our last moments just about the two of us. But who was I kidding, it was not that easy to erase her.
Even as I reached my car and saw Yuri following after me a fair way away, all that was in my head was her. Tears flooded my eyes as I opened it up and sat inside, the door remaining open to Yuri when she finally arrived. I knew that after we had said our goodbyes and she had gone, all that was required was to start the engine and drive away. I'd go home, pack up the few items in my apartment and lastly never look back. Again, who was I kidding.
By the time Yuri had come, I was a mess. Quickly I tried to conceal most of the sadness from my face by wiping the still falling tears from my cheeks with trembling hands but Yuri saw it all. She immediately crouched down beside me, gazing into my eyes and no doubt wondering why I was in such a state. Not liking the constant staring as she wondered what had happened, it only took a few words from me for her to understand.
"I should've listened."
Yuri's eyes widened just a little before slowly bowing her head, an exhale coming from her lips soon after. I looked down at her while she nodded, the reason why I was in such a mess becoming clear. When she finally raised her head, she found she could only mutter an "Oh" in reply.
She was speechless, not knowing whether to comfort me, or just not talk about it at all. In the end though, she chose to tackle the problem directly.
"It seems like we should have a chat" she said, getting up and walking around to the passenger side while I shut the door to protect myself from the cold wind.
I didn't particularly want to talk about what had happened, but Yuri deserved to know. I couldn't tell her to leave it, or to go away to leave me to my thoughts because I wanted to relish in whatever time we had left together. As soon as she looked at me with those deep, brown, empathetic eyes however, the dam burst and everything came flowing out once more. Yuri didn't miss how I kept looking back at the prison while I sobbed and so took the matter into her own hands. She knew I wasn't fit enough to drive, so she took over instead.
Again, I couldn't resist that last look at the building that housed my once favorite inmate. It only tore my heart out completely. This really was the end of us.
As she drove through the streets of Seoul, I watched as the scenery passed by in a flash through blurry eyes...almost saying goodbye to each place I had visited or seen on my travels to and from work. I tried so very hard not to let the tears fall again, I didn't want to seem weak in front of Yuri. And even though my head was turned away from her looking out of the window as we travelled, a quiet sniff let me down.
Almost immediately, a soft touch on my thigh appeared, patting up and down while she sighed audibly. Her hand remained there for the rest of the journey, softly stroking my leg every now and again in an attempt to comfort me.
We arrived shortly after, the warmth her hand had given me disappearing when she got out of the car. It felt as if I was now alone in this world, I didn't have Taeyeon to rely on anymore and soon I wouldn't have Yuri either. At least not in person.
I watched as Yuri walked around the car and opened up the passenger side door for me. Chivalry was not dead in her books, and it actually put a smile on my face as she gave a small bow and a smirk. We linked arms as we made our way into the building, chuckling a little when we realised that we'd then have to let go because the staircase was too narrow for the both of us. When we reached my door, I found that nerves were starting to attack my body, the keys jangling in my trembling hands. It was as if the sheer magnitude of what I was doing was hitting me full force, knowing that the next time I'd be locking this door would be the time I'd hand over the keys and leave it behind for good.
Yuri saw the struggle and wasted no time in again taking over, quickly opening and then shutting the door behind us. Reasonably embarrassed at my behavior, I quickly rushed to the kitchen and opened a bottle of wine knowing that it would help to calm me. I saw from the corner of my eye that Yuri was watching every move, perhaps silently judging me.
An awkward silence ensued after I had given her a glass...which she refused since she'd have to take a taxi back to the prison to take her own car home later on. I sipped, but then tried not to slurp noisily as I downed the contents while she looked around my still messy apartment.
"Well..." She said, motioning to the many boxes in the corner of the room. "At least you don't have much to pack..."
I nodded to agree, not failing to notice that she was frowning slightly as she scanned the room. It seemed it wasn't just me who was trying to control my emotions. I smiled a little when I realised despite the stress and the worry I must have caused her, Yuri was going to miss me too.
"Who am I going to talk to at lunch now, huh?" She chuckled sadly while I bowed my head. "You know, I hate goodbyes. Especially when I know how shitty you're feeling right now." She approached, sitting down on the dining table opposite me.
"Go on, say it." I laughed, watching the contents of my newly filled glass swish back and forth as I shook. "Say 'I told you so', you were completely right."
Yuri's brows furrowed a second time, then took my free hand in hers. "I'm not going to do that Tiff." she reassured. "We all go through a period in our lives where we go against what a friend suggests...It's normal. I'm not going to say that what you did wasn't wrong because you know so yourself, but it's all a learning curve."
True.
"Your heart may be hurt Tiff, I can see it; I can feel it. And although I don't know exactly what happened, what was said between the two of you...I can only remain positive in the thought that you won't let yourself get hurt like that again. Right?" She asked, raising an eyebrow as if to dare me to say the opposite.
"Right." I agreed, squeezing her hand tightly in my own as I took another sip. The buzz from the alcohol was starting to get to me, the calming effect as it traveled throughout my body being just what I needed at this point.
Another silence...but this one was comfortable. Just the two of us enjoying each other's presence and not even needing to say a word to convey that. We were still holding hands and it was that action that further cemented Yuri in my heart. She may not have grown up with me nor been there through some of the hardships I faced in America, but her being here now and when I had needed her most was something I couldn't ask any better of. What mattered was that she had shared things with me and I her, and I guess in retrospect...she did grow up with me in a way. She watched on as I grew from a shielded homophobe into someone who was trying to figure out their feelings for women. She had been there for a friendly chat or even as a conscience while I tried to place my new found sexuality into one category or another.
"When do you leave...?" She whispered, interrupting my thoughts.
"Uh, maybe two-three days" I replied.
My new job required that I start as soon as possible since they were understaffed. I had fully expected to keep them waiting for a while though, since I figured I would have had to have given notice to Nichkhun before I just upped and left my job.
I remember coming out of his office once I had told him slightly confused because he had just told me to finish my shift for the day and then leave. No notice necessary. I wondered if I had done something to piss him off, maybe it was his way of firing me on the spot because of the simple fact of looking elsewhere...I don't know. But all that was left to do now was to call my new employer, let her know and then pack up and leave Seoul.
"Not long..." she murmured slowly, not really knowing what to say anymore. I nodded in agreement and after a few moments I think Yuri could tell that the mood was dying, becoming slightly depressing. So wanting to change that she clapped her hands and got up, startling me slightly.
"Well!" She announced, grabbing my car keys and heading for the door. "Let's make this a night to remember."
I liked her plan. Immediately I told her all of my junk food necessities, those being pizza, chocolate and a load more alcohol. Yuri chuckled as she made a mental note, nodding to herself after each item I mentioned.
"No problem. How about I buy a few movies too?" I nodded eagerly at her suggestion.
"Perfect" I grinned, Taeyeon long forgotten for the moment. When I mentioned another alcoholic beverage for her to pick up, she groaned as it was her favorite.
"Ugh you are a bad influence you know that?" Yuri said as she reached out and took some money from me to cover at least half of the bill. "I guess I can take a taxi to work in the morning..."
"Good." I winked, causing her to chuckle and then turn to the door. Suddenly I thought of something else to ask.
"Hey, why don't you call Bora to come over too?" I suggested, figuring it'd be nice to say a proper goodbye to her as well seeing as she was going to be doing so much for my benefit in the next few months.
Yuri paused for a moment before looking over her shoulder at me, the family smirk plain on her face. Knowing exactly why she shot me that look, I rolled my eyes in return and then dismissed her with my hand while she gave an over-exaggerated gag at the thought of Bora and I.
Soon I was alone with my thoughts, hoping Yuri wouldn't be long because I wanted to spend as much time with her as possible. Given her shifts at the prison, we'd most likely not see each other after this and that's exactly why I intended to relish her company.
My small smile faded however when I looked around at all the boxes that I'd have to sort out in the next few days. How it was so final... I'd be leaving Seoul behind for Busan, a place I hadn't even visited yet. I felt fearful, just as I had when moving to Korea but then told myself it was just another adventure to add to my list.
...
The night ended with all three of us slumped over in the living room, unaware whether we were lying on the floor or on each other. Bora and I weren't as drunk as Yuri though, poor thing. I felt guilty knowing she'd have to go to work with a monster of a hangover but it was worth it. I had had a good send off, a great farewell party of sorts.
I'd cried, so had Yuri whereas Bora just laughed at the two of us. She did give a few drunken words of wisdom for my travels however and I remember finding it hard to nod along and keep a straight face while she went on and on and on.
I fell asleep halfway through her speech,and while she didn't particularly appreciate it, she also wouldn't remember it so everything was all well and good.
I on the other hand would remember everything, the laughs we shared, the hilarious goofiness of three adult drunk women and every other moment we had shared up till now. These girls were my friends, and I'd make sure we kept in regular contact, not including the fact that a lot of the conversation's we would share would be about Taeyeon's case.
"Congratulations, Officer Hwang! I'm sure you know we all appreciate that you chose to work for us here in the Busan correctional facility. With your experience this prison can only get better, bringing forth a promising future for everybody here."
I grinned an eyesmile as I bowed in gratitude to my superior. I was finally here, finally at the point where I'd always dreamed; a prison sergeant. Confidence was oozing out of me as I prepared to do the job I'd always studied for, had always dreamed of getting. And the prison...the prison itself was incredible - huge grounds, clean facilities and from what I saw so far, friendly staff. It was a huge step up from my previous job and I was sure it could only get better from here.
"Thank you" I said almost too excitedly while looking around the office to soak up as much information as I could. Just like on the first day at Seoul, I knew everything but I still enjoyed reading over certain things again.
"I'll assign a guard to give you a tour around the prison in a few moments. Today is really just about you getting familiar with everything, your new colleagues and getting the gist of how things work around here." I nodded, taking everything in before she continued.
"Okay, that's it I think. All that's left for you to do now is to get changed and head out!"
My heartbeat started to increase. This was all so big, so new...
I watched in quietly as my new boss walked over to a storage cabinet while scanning my application, looking for the size uniform I required. When she took one out and then handed it to me, I think she saw I was a little apprehensive about what lie ahead of me. She shot me a comforting smile and then motioned for me to follow her as she sat back down at her desk, taking out my name tag and what would become my badge. 'Sergeant Hwang'. Wow.
"Thank you" I smiled, letting out my breath with a slow exhale. I really liked the fact she didn't comment on my increasing nerves, knowing I wouldn't want to appear unprofessional in any way. Instead she left me to it once she showed me to the door, but then kindly wished I had a good day.
It took a while until I found an employee bathroom so I could change but as soon as I was done, a message came through on my radio to tell whoever it was my whereabouts. Once I had, she told me to wait for her and that she would come and get me, soon revealing herself to be the officer that would show me around.
Exiting the bathroom soon after, I was a little surprised to see my blonde colleague waiting in front of the door. That was fast...
"So, you are..." I watched as the girl scanned my uniform until her eyes rest upon my name tag. "Hwang, gotcha. Nice to meet you, I'm Kim."
My eyes suddenly widened at her words, the smile disappearing from my face soon after. Of all the names...why did it have to be that?
As 'Kim' began to frown at my less than polite behavior, I managed to snap out of my daze, quickly bowing to her.
"Tiffany" I replied, wanting for her to call me by my forename and not by 'Hwang'. Somebody already had dibs on that one.
"Hyoyeon" she followed suit, I was so thankful that her first name didn't match too. That would have been tough and also slightly awkward, having to call another Taeyeon. "I'm here to give you a tour since it's your first day." She smiled faintly, motioning with her hand to the corridor in front of us. "But are you feeling alright? You seem-"
"I'm fine" I said quickly. "Nice to meet you Hyoyeon." I willed her to move on from the subject of my behavior because I knew she'd only get more curious. I've learnt that curiosity does me no favors in this career; in this life even.
"Okay, Tiffany." she replied, looking at me strangely as she no doubt tried to figure me out. "Let's start now. It's recreation." I simply nodded and followed as she set off, letting the woman do her job as I tried to get my mind back on mine.
We walked on silently as she told me all about the rules, certain prisoners I'd need to look out for amongst other things. It really felt odd to see male inmates passing me again.
"So," Hyoyeon started as we walked side by side, both of us warming to each other. "Is there anything bothering you? Anything you want to ask? Back there..."
And here I was hoping she would drop it.
"Nerves I guess." I said as I scanned the yard while we stopped for a moment. "The promotion, new place, new people. It's all a little overwhelming."
Hyoyeon nodded, seemingly knowing from experience. "Let's just hope you settle in quickly. You wouldn't want it to interfere with your new job now huh."
"Right" I agreed, walking the perimeter. Soon the conversation stopped dead and sensing an awkward silence ahead, I decided to let her into my head a little. "Y'know, it's weird, seeing all these guys strolling around like they own the place. I'm used to watching over groups of women, not a whole load of alpha males."
"Do you not have any experience working with male inmates?" She asked, almost a concerned tone in her voice knowing if not, then I'd of course struggle.
Chuckling at the slight misunderstanding, I told Hyoyeon all about the prison I worked at in America and then about moving to Seoul. Once I had finished, she was impressed to say the least. She went on to tell me that my training and experience was something she was envious of, being in her words 'only a correctional officer' herself.
"You'll move up." I smiled, reassuring her. "You'll get opportunities if you work hard enough."
"I hope so." She grinned, then telling me to follow her to the cafeteria to continue the tour. "So you're American, that's cool. I have to ask though, try not to speak English because I'm truly awful at it."
I waved my hand to dismiss the thought. "Don't worry, I'm getting used to only using Korean here".
The third week came and went. I was settled, my work was going down the path it should go and I felt like I belonged yet...there was always a missing piece. Every day it was the same, I smiled, conversed and did my job to my best ability but there was always something that wasn't quite right. A tiny voice telling me in a whisper to 'go home'.
When I finally got home, I became aware that this home wasn't the home that the voice wanted me to be at. I wasn't a fool, I knew it was all in my imagination but I couldn't help feeling that in every single hour of every single day...there was this magnetic force pulling me back. If I let it, the destination I'd end up in was clear. What I wondered daily though, was who was behind that force, who was controlling it.
I had one person in mind...
When I arrived back at work, the whole process started again. Only sometimes there would be some small differences. I'd find myself thinking of her often as I walked the grounds, the corridors... I'd smile while I thought 'She would've done that.' If I were to see somebody reading a book, 'I wonder if Taeyeon would like to read that.'
It became obvious that just erasing her from my mind would be impossible. What we had shared, or what she had made me believe we had shared was something that would be hard to forget. Maybe with time the feeling would lessen until on the surface of my heart there would only be a tiny graze instead of a bleeding wound. But that's hope talking, it was hard to believe it could be possible.
The phone rang as I cooked myself dinner, snapping me out of my stupor. Wiping my hands before I got to it, my thumb hovered when I saw the caller ID. I knew all too well that this next conversation was going to be tough and so I missed the first call while preparing myself for the aching feeling that would soon return.
Bora called me each time she had a meeting with Taeyeon, just to keep me updated and to inform me of any problems that could have arisen. There was nothing of that sort yet, and I hoped it would stay that way for Taeyeon's sake. Her losing this case would crush her, and although at one point I wanted her to feel that...I also wanted the best for her.
"Hey Tiff" was the greeting once I picked up on her second attempt at contacting me.
"Hey" I replied, feeling my palms get clammy at the thought of something having gone wrong. "What's going on?" I asked, biting my lip in hope that this was in fact good news.
"Well..." She paused, as if waiting for a reaction. What she got was a groan in impatience. With a chuckle she continued. "The case is going pretty slowly so far. I gave Kim's letter to her friend personally over a week ago and have been continuing to meet with Kim herself three or four times a week to gather more information to put up a good case."
"And..?" This was so painful, I wished she would just come out with it.
"Well yesterday I received a phone call from the friend. She seemed hesitant to talk with me but after explaining some things, she reluctantly arranged for me to go to her home to talk face to face. So yeah, we had long chat over a pretty nice cup of coffee actually. You know I never knew decaff could be good. Maybe it's just the way she made it, I saw she used-"
"Bora!" I interrupted, holding my hand to my head in frustration. I didn't know how this girl was a lawyer; seriously. All else aside, surely something essential would be having to keep on subject.
"Alright alright" she muttered to reply. "Well we talked about the incident without the kid being present, then he came in afterwards and I talked with him too."
"And what was said?" I pressed.
"Well, after I told the mother about Kim and how she is, what she has gone through each day etc...you know properly laying on the guilt trip, she of course felt bad - which is what we want!" She reminded, just in case I'd forgotten.
"Then when the kid told his version of what happened, he kept stuttering under what is known as my intense gaze." I rolled my eyes at her cockiness.
"So yeah, each time he tried to tell me and his mother that Kim beat him severely because she's a psycho or whatever his bullshit story had been before, he kept hesitating and basically made it up as he went along."
"Wow..." I mumbled in disbelief. How could anyone be so evil as to inflict this sort of punishment on an innocent and so clearly destroyed woman?
"I then went on to tell him that if he didn't get a straight story in like, five seconds he'd be going to court to face the judge."
Bora laughed as she reminisced and I had to admit, although her techniques may not be the most honest, she was good at weeding out the liars.
"So yeah, he eventually panicked and picked another pretty unbelievable account which made it blatantly obvious to both me and his mother that everything had been a lie. His mother was pretty upset, and although she finally realised that Taeyeon wasn't entirely to blame, she also knew that it was some silly practical joke that got way out of hand. The kid was indeed that, a kid."
I sighed, finally hearing some good news. "So are they going to help her?"
"Well the mother had a condition." Bora continued. "She wants to visit Taeyeon and apologise before anything goes ahead. She also wants to bring her spawn to grovel too. So that was yesterday and she's going to go visit Kim in a few days to do it. I just hope your little inmate is going to be up for it."
Up for it? Why wouldn't she be?
"What do you mean?" I questioned.
"Well, ever since our first visit she barely speaks. I mean, she says enough to get her point across and to give me the information I need but that's it. She's so...down. All of the time."
My heart clenched momentarily, my eyes closing while I gripped the phone with fervor. She had been affected. Bora hadn't mentioned this before and I wondered why she had left it until this point.
"Even when we arranged a phone call this morning for me to tell her what her friend and son had said, all she did was listen and mumble her thanks at the end. The girl is barely there Tiffany."
Another aching spasm shot through me.
"It's my job to go see her, yes. But I thought she'd at least be passionate about her release, right now it's as if she doesn't give a shit. It's kind of hard for me to be able to work efficiently when she's clearly somewhere else entirely during our visits." She sighed on the other line, maybe feeling as if Taeyeon wasn't worth what she was working towards.
"Anyway, that's all for now. I'm just waiting on the meeting between the three and then talk to them about what will be need to be submitted to the court afterwards."
"Thank you, Bora. For everything. I know you feel like maybe with her attitude, that she doesn't deserve your time but-"
"If she means so much to you, then she does." She replied matter of factly.
That meant a lot. Bora may have an air about her that could drive people the wrong way, but she was real. She was somebody who was loyal and just an all-round good person. I was grateful to have her in my life and even though we met rather awkwardly, I wouldn't change it for the world.
"Thank you" I said honestly. She really had exceeded my expectations with this phone call.
"No problem Tiff. Oh and while I remember, could you give me your address please?"
"Address? Well...alright. Can I ask why?"
"Well, when all this blows over maybe Yuri and I could take a vacation to come see you!" Her smile showing through her voice. "We can celebrate your inmate's big victory..."
In the end I agreed, noticing that Bora was incredibly confident that Taeyeon would win this. Believing that soon she could be a free woman, I couldn't help but wonder whether we would run into each other one day...
A few mornings later, I went about my usual routine. I got dressed, fixed myself some breakfast and then went down to check if I had any mail. I never received anything worth the trek to get it of course, but unfortunately bills were essential and they had to be paid. Grabbing the contents of the mail box, I went back up to my apartment and sat down at the dining table to sift through the pile before I headed off to work.
Just as I had thought, bills, bills and oh look - bills. Then...something that wasn't, much to my surprise.
It was an envelope and it clearly had something bulging inside of it.
Slightly bewildered due to the new address and all, I stared at the handwriting and it indeed said 'Tiffany Hwang'. Weird.
With a frown, I tore at the large brown envelope and took out its contents. What I found was a scroll, tied with what looked like a hair band. As I stared with upmost confusion, I tossed it to and fro both hands wondering what it could be and who it could have come from. When nothing came to mind, I decided to just open it and see for myself.
When I did I felt the breath that I had been releasing stop suddenly, my eyes growing wide as they scanned every inch of that paper. It was a drawing done in simple pencil though care had obviously gone into the shading and the highlights...the detail. I couldn't stop looking at what I had in front of me. It was so beautiful, so well constructed and so thoughtful.
It was a drawing of me.
That's all it was. A portrait of me, my long dark locks flowing over both shoulders which is where the drawing ended. Each strand of hair had been carefully sketched, every eyelash and both eyebrows right down to the last detail. It clearly wasn't something somebody could have just thrown together, this was something that had taken a long while to complete. Something that had been concentrated on perhaps each day while the subject had been fresh in the artist's mind. How many people did I know that would be capable of such a thing?
Just one.
I stared at that simple piece of paper while my heart swelled and cracked simultaneously. This was something that would be hard to move past. That's because, after all I had done and tried to forget that one person still stuck in Seoul, what she had just given had made me believe once again that there was something she felt for me. It was selfish of her to do this, yes...but I appreciated it immensely. If this was her apology, then it would be difficult to not accept it.
I couldn't get over how perfect the sentiment was. As I remembered flicking through that talented girl's sketchbook that one day and seeing that one important girl on so many pages, I smiled when I thought about how I was on one of those pages too. Her most prized possession, and she had inadvertently shared it with me. How much that meant to me was beyond words, but after all this time...why now?
As I studied her handwriting on the envelope, something hit me. Taeyeon is in jail...so how on earth did she even send this? It wasn't possible for her to get anything out of the prison without it being highly scrutinized which was too much of a risk. A drawing of me from the inmate I had been known to see often? That was dangerous. But how else would she have-?
It only took a little backtracking to realize that somebody had asked for my address recently. Somebody who saw Taeyeon often.
Bora.
She gave Taeyeon my address? Why would she do that unless...Taeyeon asked for it. So they talked about me, she talked about me.
My heart started to thump wildly in my chest, just the thought of Kim Taeyeon, the inmate who never asked for help asking Bora who she knew had sexual relations with me for my address; my whereabouts. How desperate she must have been to have asked such a person to contact me.
I felt both pain and satisfaction at that moment. As I looked down at the drawing again, it seemed as if she really was making an effort to reach out to me, something that I had wanted since the moment we first started to get to know each other. She'd finally done it but...
She did it so, so late.