A Certain High School, 12:35 PM
Touma Kamijou groaned as he sat with his head on a table in the school's cafeteria. In the bench opposite him Aogami Pierce mimicked his posture, his cell phone resting next to his right elbow. Kamijou did his best to ignore him but couldn't seem to shake off wanting to deck his annoying cohort in the face. Tsuchimikado on the other hand sticks a yen bill into a vending machine and scratches his chin as he ponders on what he would like to drink.
"Why must you torment me so?" Kamijou asked.
"Becausssssssse," Aogami jubilantly replied. "That's what buddies do."
"Any buddy of mine would respect my need to be left alone right now after today's humiliation. You sir, are a nuisance."
As Aogami wailed like a child, Tsuchimikado slammed two cans of lemonade next to Touma who lazily shifted his gaze towards them. His blonde friend ploped in the seat adjacent him, putting an arm around his shoulder.
"That's no way to act, Kami-yan," he said nonchalantly. "True friends stick with you through thick and thin. We've been through alot together, you and me. We're tighter than a fitness model's buttcheeks. Or a fat man's arteries."
"Uh…" Aogami said. "I'm here too you know."
Tsuchimikado grabbed the phone next to Aogami elbow and before he could react flung it into a doorway. It ricocheted off the wall and could be heard sliding down the hall. Aogami turned around and nearly foamed at the mouth after seeing this. He spasmed slightly.
"And now you're not. Fetch boy."
Aogami got out of his seat and ran towards the doorway.
"My baby!" he yelled before disappearing around the corner.
After counting Aogami steps, Tsuchimikado turned his attention towards Touma.
"My sources tell me that we're in quite the jam," he whispered in a serious tone.
Unbeknownst to Aogami, Tsuchimikado is spy who works with the organization Necessarius, a sect of the Anglican Church. In a nutshell, he has done a lot of violent work behind the scenes to ensure the safety of Academy City. In the past, he has fought and worked alongside Touma to in order to complete his objectives. However at the end of the day and in spite of his deceitful and mischievous nature, he is one of Touma's most loyal and reliable friends...Well, loyal at least.
Touma's eyes rotated to Tsuchimikado.
"After school detention isn't the worse thing to ever happen to us."
"True, but that's the least of our worries."
Tsuchimikado waited for his friend to pick up on what he's saying. Touma raised his head .
"...And by 'we' you mean…?"
"The entirety of Academy City and possibly the rest of the world. But mostly Academy City."
"What…?!"
"Relax Kami-yan."
Touma slaps Tsuchimikado arm off his shoulder using his right elbow.
"How can you tell me to-"
Tsuchimikado held out his index finger. It was risky to talk about these kinds of things in school but there was also the situation of Aogami Pierce to deal with. It's not that they didn't like him but rather it's in both their interest to not let him, a regular civilian and acquaintance, get involved in this mess and simply knowing was enough to put him at risk. Tsuchimikado pointed towards the double doors on his right using his thumb.
"Walk with me."
Touma and Tsuchimikado walk down an empty hallway while holding cans of lemonade.
"So," Touma whispered. "What kind of predicament are we in that would draw the attention of Necessarius to Academy City?"
"You can drop the cautious act. This hallway is completely empty and we're about to reach the exit anyway. Plus, I had someone mute the security feed until we leave the building. And even if someone happens to walk in from the entrance behind us, they'd be too far away to hear us. No one's gonna know what we're talking about."
"Oh," Touma replied in a normal volume. He was relieved but then immediately picked up a stern tone. "But that doesn't answer my question."
"Right. I guess I'll cut to the chase. Right after I take a sip of this refreshing lemonade."
Tsuchimikado took a long sip as Touma watched with an irritated look on his face. He swished the lemonade in his mouth for a few moments. Touma's scowl deepened. He hadn't taken a sip of his lemonade yet. Tsuchimikado finally swallowed the drink albeit fairly slow.
"That was to calm my nerves," he replied in a laid back manner. Although Touma couldn't tell if he was telling the truth or not. He gives him the benefit of the doubt considering the fate of the world is at hand but still remained suspicious. "Legend has it that there is an artifact, or rather a pair of artifacts, that allows the user to hop between dimensions."
"Wait...what?"
"History lesson. In 1982, a magician of the English Puritan Church by the name of Dimitri Oswald attempted to psyphon the abundance of magic found within the United Kingdom. A scientist by the name of Eric Liefeld approached Oswald with a theory proposing that combining the vast amounts of magic available using the Higgs boson theory could result in dimensional travel. Liefeld was part of an English scientist group called Vortex which sought to replicate esper abilities in machinery, namely teleportation. Oswald was intrigued by the prospect and in spite of the potential controversy, there was nothing wrong in and of combining magic and science. However, the way they went about it is what caused the issue.
Tsuchimikado tooks another sip from his can of lemonade as if he is winded. He "Ahssss" afterwards.
"Using funding dedicated to other projects under the guise of creating a weather manipulation device that could prevent natural disasters, Leifeld and his team developed a sort of drill with the intent of extracting magical energy found in and under the tectonic plates of Scotland. The machine, called Gungnir, would drill several feet below the surface. It was marked with a magic circle so upon activation, it would absorb the energy from the any other areas marked. They couldn't perform the experiment in England since that would draw too much attention to the project. They assumed in the event that they were ever found out, being caught in England, aka the land under the English Monarchy, would be the worst possible scenario. Plus, they also risked surveillance from the Knights, risking their cover being blown. Oswald assisted in the creation of developing magic circles engraved into the ground across the continent of Scotland, claiming to the public that the marks were a necessary part in controlling the weather. Over the course of about a week they set up thirteen circles, twelve in order to evenly collect the magic energy with an extra one to create a point of convergence where the energy would be collected."
"This is a lot to take in," Touma finally said.
"It gets better. One of the scientists in Vortex, Robert Goldman, had a guilty conscious and fessed up to Necessarius about the whole scheme after discovering the experiment required extracting the teleportation ability out of espers forcefully, putting them in a comatose state. However, that only accounts for some of them. The grand majority of them were either stuck in a vegetative state or dead. On the day the experiment, the Vortex scientists were ambushed by various members of Necessarius but not after it was activated. The scientists gave up and were all arrested for conspiracy. Leifeld committed suicide in prison. However, Oswald never fully intended to go all the way through with the experiment and set up a spell ahead of time to have the stolen energy redirected to an outside source, two saws with rainbow patterned holders after marking them with the same magic circles. He was not arrested on sight because he called in sick but requested the experiment perform without him anyway.
"So he had the ¼ of U.K's magic energy contained within two otherwise ordinary objects. Additionally, he secretly took the teleportation abilities stored on certain drives and infused them into the saws. One thing he didn't consider however was that Gungnir could pinpoint where exactly the energy was being redirected to. So the remainder of Vortex had the machine pinpoint exactly where the saws were. He was in a shack in his backyard. Members of Necessarius were already heading to his house to arrest him but by the time they showed up, he was nowhere to be found. Vortex was disbanded."
Touma and Tsuchimikado finally reached the front exit and continued walking down a small flight of steps into a long and wide road consisting of orange and red tiles.
"He would return eleven months later appearing rabid. He claimed that he had discovered the key to interdimensional travel. He said for months he's traveled to several parallel versions of our world, meeting alternate versions of himself. Some were in the exact same scenario as he was. Others led different lives altogether and thus never had contact with the saws in the first place. In some cases, he was already busted and parallel versions of Necessarius members used his own objects against him. However, they discovered one thing.
"One version of Oswald used the saws twice within the same day. It would usually take a few weeks for members of Necessarius to pinpoint his location using Gungnir and then remotely track his specific location but they happened to be transported within the same area he was in. So naturally, he tried escaping into another dimension. However, when he cut open a wormhole, an anomaly occurred. The wormhole expanded and started sucking in Oswald along with the Necessarius members and literally everything else. The cars, the building, the ground. The city itself was being sucked into a blackhole.
Touma gulped. He thought of finally taking a sip of the lemonade but decided against it after hearing that. He deduced that he might choke on the shock of what he might hear next. The boys then took a seat against the walls of one side of the building.
"That's not all. That Oswald was planning on escaping into a parallel universe where our Oswald happened to be residing at the time. And then that universe was being sucked into the first one. The two universe were sucked into each other and were assumed to be destroyed. We can't confirm it because no one has actually seen it but having two universe implode on each other can't possibly end well. The only reason we know this happened is because our Oswald used his saws to escape at the last second. The scene he described was not good.
"And then it gets even weirder. Oswald made some claims that he's even visited entirely different realities altogether. One was a world where under the watch of a flying man and his team of superheroes called the Justice League. Another one was populated by four fingered yellow people with tiny pupils but no irises. Another was home to a bunch of people who Oswald assumed were schizophrenics at first and then later assumed were espers that seemed to be fight using certain psychic powers called Stands. Another was home to colorful anthropomorphic animals. An evil scientist from that one who Oswald, assumingly insane at this time, referred to as "Baldy McNosehair" attempted to use Oswald's Saws in a plot to rule parallel versions of his universe but that was thwarted by a bunch of golden hedgehogs and some colorful shiny rocks."
"The fuck?"
"Oswald didn't keep track of how many different worlds he visited but the trip obviously left him mentally ill. He claimed that science was a crime against humanity and blamed it for the destruction of two parallel universes. Even though he was cornered by Necessarius almost immediately upon returning, he threatened to use the saws again if they didn't let him go. The parallel Necessarius members had a version of the saws and confirmed that every alternate version of the saws were destroyed. However, a very powerful spell combined with Gungnir that could detect the presence of other versions of the saw confirmed that one pair just disappeared altogether. So they assumed what he said was true even though they had no real reason to doubt him as wild as his claims sounded. So they let him go, but before he demanded Gungnir be destroyed, effectively stopping anyone from tracking him should he leave this universe.
"After that, he fled the premises and was never heard from again. Since then however, all manner of magic dealing with dimensional travel was made illegal. So far, dimensional travel has only been proven possible through using magic from the United Kingdom. So if anyone were to attempt it again using similar methods, it would be easy to intercept the project before it ever starts."
Tsuchimikado took a sip of his lemonade as Touma watched.
"That's all."
"That's all?"
"Yeah, that's what I just said. Anymore productive questions?"
Touma became a bit irritated at the sarcastic but accurate retort but chose to ignore the snark instead of entertaining it.
"Yeah, actually. Like how exactly could the Church or the Pope or whoever just chalk dimensional travel up as illegal and just call it a day? You'd figure something as serious as dimensions collapsing would spark more counter measures."
"Well, for starters, Oswald was an incredibly skilled magician. Only a highly skilled magician who could expertly wield vast amounts of magic could actually use the saws. They couldn't really do anymore anyway since they had no way of tracking Oswald but it appeared he wasn't insane enough to use it twice in succession unless he was pursued. And there's not really much else they can do to prevent it besides outlawing the practice altogether. The Monarchy was too afraid to delve further into the matter so they never actually found out why or how the dimensional collapse occurred in the first place. They just swept it up under the rug and as far as the public knows, only a few crooked scientists were arrested. Besides, it's not like anyone could replicate the project again since the U.K became much more protective of their land."
Touma looked at his drink. Not out of thirst but to think. Not one, but two parallel versions of him and everyone he loves were destroyed and that alone was a scary thought. It was true, he was an incredibly unfortunate person but not enough the extent where he'd actually been mortally wounded in his many dangerous ventures. That isn't to say that he hasn't been close to death several times in the past. He found trouble deciding if he was even more unlucky than the Toumas who died since he now has to harbor the knowledge that they failed to protect their worlds.
Regardless...
"Dammit," Touma finally said. "What is it that made him so twisted in the first place?"
"Kami. There is no reason. In this world, some people are just twisted to begin with. But that's not the question you should be asking right now."
Tsuchimikado set his empty can on his right between himself and Touma, who looked at him with a puzzled look.
"Huh? Then what is?"
"You should be asking me what you can do to find this son of a bitch who's wielding a power he doesn't understand or respect."
"..."
"Knowing you, you were probably going to get involved in this somehow. That's just how your luck is. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if this somehow ended in you doing Necessarius' job for them."
"Yeah, but…. this is seriously messed up…"
Touma looked down at his right palm . Tsuchimikado dropped his smile and turned his head to look at him like he said something stupid.
"Yeah that's true. But think of this way; you, and everyone and everything you ever cared about and ever will care about could be destroyed if you sit this one out."
A mental image of certain white nun came to mind along with Touma's parents. Following were Ms. Komoe and Yomikawa . Then he thought of his classmates, the busty and bossy Fukiyose Seiri and the not so busty, the introverted Himegami Aisa, and even Aogami. Next to come up was Mikoto Misaka and even her friend Kuroko Shirai who is openly antagonistic towards him. Even the face of Stiyl Magnus, someone he isn't particularly on good terms with, popped up along with that of Kaori Kanzaki. And even though Tsuchimikado didn't say it, he had a little sister that he would very much like to see after all of that chaos blew over. Touma knew this.
There were too many people who would berate him if he did nothing amidst the conflict that would soon be happening in Academy City. But that wasn't what concerned him at the moment.
He squinted before clenching his right hand.
"No, you misunderstood. That didn't mean 'I'm afraid to try…'"
Tsuchimikado looked at Touma as he stood up with newfound resolve.
"That meant 'What should I do first?'"
Tsuchimikado smirked as he stood as well. But that smirk disappeared since out of nowhere, Aogami came dashing and jump kicked him in the back.
"YOU BASTAAAAAAAARDS!" he yelled as the sunglasses wearing boy flied past an awestruck Touma onto the curb. Touma's mouth dropped in shock.
"You throw my phone into the hallway and then leave me in the cafeteria by myself?!"
Tears ran down Aogami's cheeks like a waterfall but no one could take him seriously with the way he is talking. "What kind of friends are youuuuuuu?!"
Tsuchimikado stood up and clenched his left fist, causing a vein to pulsate on the top of his hand. He smiled but was clearly pissed off.
"Well, we were talking about grown man stuff. SO WE HAD TO DITCH THE KID!"
He threw a punch into Aogami's cheek, sending him flying to the ground as he grunted. Tsuchimikado jumped into the air and released what one could interpret as a battle cry as he landed on top of Aogami. Touma watched with a limp jaw as the two wrestled on the ground. Tsuchimikado ended up getting Aogami in a neck lock.
"Dammit, Tsuchimikado!" Touma yelled, stomping his foot. "We don't have time for this!"
The boys stopped wrestling and looked at Touma. Tsuchimikado grinned.
"Of course. Business first." He helped Aogami up and put his shoulder over him. "Aogami, our little Kami-yan's in quite the predicament."
"Huh?" Aogami replied.
(Huh.) Touma thought.
Tsuchimikado was a notorious liar. One could rationalize that it was a result of him being a spy, but it could also be said that he likes messing with people. Regardless, he's been known to say some pretty eccentric things and pretty much everyone who knows this hates him for it.
"You see," Tsuchimikado continued. "There's this girl he's trying to smash."
(HUUUUUUUUUUH?)
Touma's jaw practically hit the floor.
"Ohhhh, damn!" Aogami gushed. "Our little Touma's growing up! *sniff* I always knew this day would come. I'M PROUD OF YOU BUD-"
"Yeah, shut the fuck up. But thing is. He really wants that ass. And if he has to wait 'till after school, he might just explode."
"Oh damn, that would be bad. But ah, who's the lucky lady, huh?"
Tsuchimikado was taken back to a time where Mikoto Misaka tackled Touma out of nowhere while they were walking down the block.
"Some third year from Tokiwadai."
"Ew. Touma, you pedophile. But I don't judge...much."
"Tsuuuuuuchiiiiiimakadoooooooo…" Touma angrily exclaimed as he grinded his teeth together while clenching his right hand.
"So," Tsuchimikado continued. "I'm gonna need your help on this one. Operation: Get Kami-yan Laid is underway. You down?"
Several seniors walked towards the main entrance of A Certain High School to return to their next period classes after leaving for lunch. Tsuchimikado walked towards the entrance with his hands in his pockets. Aogami walked in the other direction, bumping him in the right shoulder as they passed each other. After a few more steps of walking, Aogami swung around and pointed at him.
"Hey, you!" he yelled in a voice that practically screamed bad acting. "Do those sunglasses mean you're blind?! Why don't you watch where you're walking?!"
Tsuchimikado turned around and clenched his right fist.
"How dare you insult my sense of fashion!" he yelled with equally horrendous acting. "At least I don't have stupid blue hair! What are you, some sort of anime character?!"
Aogami got so close to Tsuchimikado's face that their foreheads were touching, forcing him to arch his back slightly.
"What did you saaaaaaaaaaaaay?!"
Tsuchimikado pushed back, turning the tables.
"You heard meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
Some students turned around to observe the commotion.
"What's going on?" a girl asked.
"Are they practicing for a play?" one boy inquired.
"HE SAID HE GETS NO ASS!" Izuki yelles among the crowd.
"I WILL END YOU!" his cohort berated.
Aogami decked Tsuchimikado in the cheek with a quick left jab. His body stumbled backwards as his head faced the right.
"Have at thee!" he yelled.
Tsuchimikado responded by running forward and delivering a swift kick to Aogami's crotch. His squinty eyes shot wide open as his mouth puckered like he was doing a spit take.
"Oh snap!" a boy yelled. "First year fight!"
Suddenly, several third years were running towards the boys as they grappled on the ground, forming a circle around them and cheering them on. Tsuchimikado stood Aogami up as he had him in a necklock yet again while he futilely pulled on his forearm.
"Dude," Aogami whispered without moving his teeth. "Why'd you kick me in the nuts?"
"That sunglasses bit hurt," Tsuchimikado replied with a grin.
"Hurt my ass!"
"Okay."
At that moment, Tsuchimikado let go of Aogami who stumbled forward a bit. Then, he raised his left knee a little over his belly button before extending it, stomping Aogami in the center of his right buttcheek. His arms flailed into the air as his body made a right angle while he flew about two feet before hitting the ground. At this point, various third year boys and a few girls started shouting "Fight! Fight!"
After about a minute, a gorilla looking security guard came bursting from the front doors. Several students flew into the air as the security guard forced his way into the fight. He jumped into the air with his limbs spread out and howled. Tsuchimikado and Aogami faces turned blue as a massive shadow expands over them.
Touma Kamijou ran through the parking lot exit with no one left to stop him.