The Beacon Staff Holiday Retreat!
A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Firstly, an announcement- due to my tireless chase for justice (by which I mean pathetic pleading over on DeviantArt), we will be reacting to PsyInti's Death Battle: RWBY Battle Royale and oobidoobi's Paternal Messages series. A shoutout to both of the creators for letting me do their stories!
And now that's settled, let's watch the staff make a complete and utter fool of themselves!
DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise Beacon would have an Atlesian Paladin nicknamed 'Wuffles'.
All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.
"Wow." Cinder whistled as she dropped her bags on the wooden patio of the beach house they'd taken out. "Ozzie, you really pulled out all the stops here, didn't you?"
Ozpin smiled. "If I'm going to give my valued comrades a holiday, then I may as well. Alexander said he wanted someone to watch over his property for him anyway."
Indeed, the Arcs- or rather, Alexander Arc- owned a sizeable stretch of Vale's coast, enough for a small group of people to spend their days comfortably living here. This beach was where Andreas and Yona Arc, Jaune's parents, had spent their honeymoon, where Siegfried and Freya Schnee had spent their honeymoon and where Alexander had once tested out an amphibious model of the Schnee Endlave series, back when the Endlave series was still the mecha produced by the Schnee Dust Company.
The beach itself was pristine, with shiny white sand almost devoid of rocks, pebbles or litter, shining as brightly as the clear ocean for miles beyond the coast. Only several small buoys in the distance delineated the border between Arc property and international waters. To the east was a small coastal cave, hidden by trees and foliage.
The beach house itself was large enough to hold Ozpin and his small party of eight or nine, built from well-carved stone and propped up on elegantly carved pillars, with Valean oak floors and furniture handmade by the finest crafters in all of the Four Kingdoms. For all his flaws, Alexander Arc was a master of interior design.
A fact Cinder was very appreciative of.
"So, Ozzie." The pyromancer took up the whole of one of the red couches in the living room, surrounding a coffee table and standing in front of a large Schnee Electronics flatscreen TV. "What's our itinerary?"
Glynda raised an eyebrow. "You're asking for an itinerary?"
"Well, I didn't exactly bring my antic gear with me." Cinder shrugged. Glynda gave her an incredulous look, disbelieving.
"...fine, I brought some of it." Cinder sighed irritably, as a surprised squeal from Tohru sounded from outside, followed by who sounded like Professor Port rushing to help her up. "Sheesh, Glynda. You could cut me some slack. We are on vacation, after all."
"I think reading my diary reminded me exactly of what kind of person you are." The instructor muttered darkly.
Ozpin, meanwhile, was flipping through a small pocketbook, frowning slightly. "Alright. We're here for three days. Today's a free day, but tomorrow, we will be heading out to the local town for a short tour of the historical landmarks, followed by dinner at the finest restaurant in the area. The last day will probably be spent going around the countryside before arriving back at Beacon at around eight in the evening."
"The beach?" Gretchen blanched. "No thank you. I don't like the sun."
"Gretchen, we dragged you out here because you spend all your time in that pit you call a laboratory." Cinder remarked. "If you're not going to join us-"
Gretchen gave her a murderous glare. "I. Don't. Like. The. Sun."
"One word, Gretchen.
Slendy." She grinned.
Gretchen froze. "...you wouldn't dare-"
"Oh, I don't know. Would I? You know me, dear, you taught me for four years and work with me."
Gretchen crossed her arms, blushing slightly.
"...fine. You are triumphant for now, Cinder."
"Yesss-"
"But," The sorceress adjusted her glasses in such a manner as to cause a chill to run down Cinder's spine. "I will repay this slight."
Ozpin took a sip from his coffee thermos. "Girls, this isn't the place for arguments.
Alexander has had an arena installed somewhere on the grounds, so I'm told."
Glynda rubbed her temples. "...you said we were going to relax on this vacation, correct?"
"Yes." Ozpin nodded. "That is indeed why we went out here."
The instructor looked over at Gretchen, who was smiling evilly and flipping through a book of what she assumed were dark magicks of the sort only found in books bound in human skin and written in languages that defiled the reader's mind on sight.
"I somehow doubt we'll be able to relax."
"Why?"
"Just a feeling." Glynda muttered irritably.
Later...
The faculty had finally loaded their bags into the house- Professor Port had to be persuaded to not uncage his beloved Edgar immediately- and had now separated off into groups. Professor Port and Oobleck had headed off to find the Arena with Yona and Ozpin, while Glynda, Cinder, Tohru and Gretchen had opted for the beach.
Glynda adjusted her dress slightly. She was wearing a small sundress- purple, as usual- with a straw hat to match-she didn't intend to swim, after all, and the only consolation to waterproofing she'd provided were her azure, floral pattern rubber slippers.
The instructor slipped on a pair of sunglasses and strode out of the beach house, carrying a beach mat and umbrella under her arms.
"...hopefully, I can catch a few minutes of peace before the inevitable chaos." Glynda quietly hoped, before strolling onto the warm sand. She laid her mat out several paces from the water, before propping her umbrella up behind it with the shade over the mat. Stretching her arms, the instructor then lay across it, slipping her footwear off and placing it next to her before looking around to ensure Cinder hadn't arrived yet.
Sighing, Glynda pulled out the latest reprint of Wizards of Romance Volume Fifteen- or the one where Anton and Brigid were trapped in a cave in the frost surrounded by evil frost wolves, forcing them to keep warm by any means possible.
It was completely tasteful. Glynda muttered 'this is art' under her breath, blushing as she opened up to the last page she had been on.
"Oh, Anton..." Brigid moaned out, as Anton's warm wandering hands placed themselves upon her naked back.
"Brigid..." Anton whispered into her ear. "I hope you...don't mind. I need to keep you warm by any means possible."
Brigid gasped slightly at the sensation of his hands. "A-Anton...b-be gentle with me..."
"I...will do my best, but I just cannot resist your-"
"M-Miss Fall!" Tohru's embarrassed squeals pierced the tranquillity of the beach and caused Glynda's head to shoot up.
"Relax, Tohru. You have to loosen up a bit! It's a beach!"
"B-But this...t-this is indecent!"
"Oh come of it."
Glynda swallowed.
'So much for reading in peace. I should've known better.'
She craned her head around to look at what shenanigans Cinder was placing the poor girl under.
Cinder herself, as expected, was in a two-piece swimsuit- red and flame-patterned, as expected of her- that left very little to the imagination, with a lot of Cinder's pale, smooth skin exposed-
Glynda shook her head hurriedly, trying to erase the image from her eyes.
'I-It's not as if C-Cinder looks that nice anyway...' She reassured herself, before looking to her unfortunate victim.
Tohru was standing next to the pyromancer, her knees knocked together and her face incredibly red, as she was stuffed in a similarly skimpy swimsuit in light blue, again leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination.
"Cinder." Glynda intoned. "What is the meaning of this?!"
"I just wanted Tohru here to live a little." Cinder shrugged. "Honestly, it's like showing off a little skin will kill a person."
"T-this is so...embarrassing..." Tohru squeaked out. Cinder rolled her eyes.
"Oh please. Your boyfriend will love this!"
Glynda's eyes narrowed. "Just let the poor girl get something to cover herself before she dies of embarrassment."
"But-"
"Cinder!"
"Fine." The pyromancer pouted, but complied. "Go get yourself something like a towel."
"O-Okay!" The girl rushed back in, before giving Glynda a grateful nod.
Glynda sighed, adjusting her sunglasses. "Cinder, why do you insist on shoving Miss Honda into skimpy clothing?"
"Well, you complain when I do it to you!" Cinder whined. "So, I found myself another victim!"
"...that's not what I meant when I told you to stop doing it. I meant you stop doing it period, not stop doing it to me."
The pyromancer put her hands on her hips. "Well, that's hardly fun, is it?!"
"I don't think the rest of the world shares your belief about what's fun or not."
Cinder pouted. "Well, the rest of the world can go get stuffed! Now, I'm going to go into the water. You coming with?"
"No thank you." Glynda picked up her book. "I would rather-"
Her hand was rather suddenly grabbed by the pyromancer as she was bodily dragged into the water.
"C-Cinder! Let me go!" Glynda protested.
Cinder grinned. "Oh come on, Glynda! The shade's not good for you! You're not getting enough Vitamin D!"
"I-I am not dressed for this!" The instructor complained.
"Oh, so what are you going to do, read your porn?"
"Wizards of Romance is ART! Art, not porn!"
"When I find the first book in that series that has less than one scene where Anton or Brigid or someone isn't doing something indecent, then I'll believe you." Cinder remarked drily. "Now, get into the water!"
She pushed Glynda bodily into the water, drenching her entirely and causing her sundress to cling to her body.
"G-gah!" The instructor yelped in surprise. "T-that's cold!"
Cinder, meanwhile, giggled. "Oh dear. Glynda, you have been keeping your figure fit, haven't you? You're the perfect mix of curves and muscle, and your chest, oh my-"
Glynda crossed her arms over her considerable chest. "D-don't talk like that! P-Pervert!"
"It's true!" Cinder smirked, licking her lips. "Besides, don't you like it? I saw how you stared at me~"
"N-not like that! I-I don't find you a-attractive!" Glynda snapped. Cinder merely tackled her into the water.
"Heehee...large chest~"
"G-Get off of me!"
"Glyndaaaaa! D-don't be a meanie!"
Both of them, however, were interrupted by a massive, demonic-looking eel popping out of the water behind them, its head protected by the tell-tale bone mask characteristic of Grimm creatures.
"GRAAAAH!"
Cinder screamed in shock, hauling Glynda up to protect herself.
"T-Take her instead! I'm an innocent virgin! I have to live my life to the fullest!"
Glynda looked incredulously at her. "You scoff at the word virgin! P-put me down!"
Cinder shook her head hurriedly. "Y-you do something! You're the witch!"
"You're a grown woman and a Huntress!"
"My fire powers don't work in water!"
"GRARGHL" The demonic eel leapt out of the water and coiled itself around Cinder tightly.
"G-get off of me!" The pyromancer yelped. "Get this fish off of me!"
Glynda fell back onto the wet sand, looking at the spectacle.
"...where did that thing even-" She paused, her eyes settling on an evilly-laughing Gretchen, chuckling to herself as she directed the creature with several hand gestures, going incomprehensibly fast.
She was too far away to hear the words coming from her mouth, but Glynda could've sworn she was muttering something about 'revenge' or something of the sort.
"...you know what, I'm going to go see what the people in the arena are doing."
"G-Glynda!" Cinder squealed. "D-don't leave me here with Gretchen! P-please!"
Glynda sighed, without turning around as she walked towards the arena. "I'm sure you'll be fine. Remember to play nice!"
"GLYNDA!"
Meanwhile, in the arena...
"Aha!" Port whipped out his infamous weapon, the blunderbuss-axe Skullbreaker and fired a single shot out of it, which was batted back at him by Oobleck with his own thermos-bat cannon. The reflected shot flew over Port's head, barely ruffling his hair.
"Excellent shot, my friend!" Port laughed uproariously. Oobleck merely adjusted his glasses.
"Shot was not calculated properly. Need to be careful next time." Oobleckt muttered. "Could have taken head off."
Yona sighed, bored, leaning next to her massive railgun-sniper rifle hybrid, as she watched the two men fool around.
"Are we going to do a three-way duel soon or are you guys going to play baseball with a blunderbuss?"
Ozpin sighed, chuckling. "Just let them. They haven't had the time to do this in a long while."
Glynda stumbled into the small arena, still dripping water from when Cinder had pushed her in.
The arena was nothing special, simply a sizeable square of dust somewhere within the distance of the beach house, surrounded by metal fences and a field of Dust negation to ensure no blasts left the limit of the arena. It wasn't meant to withstand the likes of Giga Drill Breaks or Megidolaons, but as neither Blake nor Minako were present, that was no issue. It was a passable arena, so long as the fighters kept it light and fair.
"Glynda, you appear to be a little moist." Ozpin remarked drily.
Glynda shot him a glare. "You think so?"
"Cinder?"
"I'd ask how you guessed, but-"
"Ah! Glynda!" Port called out. "Hello! Would you like to join us for a little fight?"
"We've been waiting for Ozpin here to finish his coffee." Yona said, sparing her employer a glance. "But since he loves his coffee and won't finish it-"
"Coffee needs to be enjoyed." Ozpin stated proudly. "Simply drinking it in one gulp would be a waste."
"Tasting coffee inefficient. Reduces speed." Oobleck commented hastily. "Better to quickly take huge gulps. More caffeine."
"It seems you and I view coffee very differently." Ozpin sighed. "Well, Glynda?"
Glynda nodded slowly. She really needed the exercise, anyway. It'd been a long time since she'd had a proper fight herself.
"Sure. That sounds better than being drenched by Cinder."
Port laughed. "Then let's get a move on then!"
To be continued...
A/N: Yes, the staff are going to be fighting next chapter. And it will...probably...be bad. Or awesome. Or both.
So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, suggestions, thoughts, criticisms and reviews, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!