12:41 PM
Touma jogged down the block in top form. It would be no surprise if he ran low times during long distance track events but his luck would prevent him from excelling in anything that would bring him true happiness. Such misfortune is the life that has been bestowed upon Touma Kamijou.
Earlier Tsuchimikado sent Touma a text informing him that Abicus has been traced to Diabase Street. He knew this because during the Vortex experiment, members of Necessarius created a location spell that could track the whereabouts of the Dimitri's Saws anywhere in the world, which was how they could track him even in different universes. However, they could only do that after Gungnir pinpointed the universe he was in. Fortunately, since the saws were in their point of origin, the search could begin after the spell was activated.
Diabase Street was ten minutes away from Touma's high school by car, fifthteen by bus, and five by train. Unfortunately, or normally in this case, Touma left his wallet at home and he found out by the time he was already in class. So he was forced to jog for at least half an hour in order to reach Abicus.
(This is not good… At the pace I'm running, he'd be long gone by the time I get to Diabase Street. Dammit! If only I didn't leave my wallet at home… But maybe it's too early to give up…)
Touma reached into his right pocket and pulled out a black flip phone. He unflipped it with his thumb and opened the contacts menu. After holding the down button for a few seconds, he pressed the call button when the name "Mikoto Misaka" was highlighted.
He placed the phone up to his ear and patiently waited for a response.
He heard a few rings. They lasted only a few seconds but felt like centuries.
A ribbit noise emitted from a phone in a black satchel under Mikoto's bed. It rung a few more times but all she did was turn away and cover her ears with her pillow. She groaned.
"Pishhh off whoever you are," she slurred. "Haven't you heard? *Sniff* I'm shick…"
Mikoto slipped back into her cozy slumber. After Kuroko left, she complained that she would be bed ridden all day but now willingly allowed herself a day of peace away from the excitement of a middle school girl's daily life.
(Come on, Zapper!) Touma frantically thought as he jogged in place at crosswalk during a green light. (Pick up!)
"You've reached the voicebox of Mikoto Misaka," a pre recording of Mikota played. "I'm probably really busy right now so leave a messag-"
Touma slams his phone shut in frustration.
(Dammit!)
It wasn't Mikoto Misaka Touma wanted to contact. He was seeking Kuroko Shirai, her roommate with the teleportation ability. He hoped that she might be able to be of assistance in getting him to Abicus faster or at the very least ensure that he get to see him.
(Wait, isn't she part of Judgement? Does she even like me? I can't just ask a member of Judgement to do me a solid! I'm just some normal high schooler! Dammit, why can't I be somebody of relative importance in society?!)
Touma looked up and reflected on the few times Kuroko has physically assaulted him. He didn't realize this but Kuroko is incredibly possessive over Mikoto and will immediately act belligerent towards anyone showing any remote affection that can be interpreted as romantic.
He didn't realize this easy to spot fact because he is incredibly oblivious to anything romantic.
(Arghhhh. She probably wouldn't even help me anyway.)
Touma jogged for a few more meters. He made a right turn when he approached the end of the block. He couldn't get to Diabase Street in record time but he could at least take a short cut.
"Heeeeeeeeey youuuuuuuuu!"
A chill ran down Touma's spine. His head swung around. Several meters behind him was the gorilla security guard, huffing and puffing as he raised his arms up to his head. The sweat under his armpits darkened patches underneath his shoulders.
The color left Touma's face as his jaw hung open.
(You've gotta be kidding me!)
"Young maaaaaan! You will not escape from the confines of the public education system!"
People flew into the air as The Gorilla Man brushed past them, slowly but surely closing the gap between them.
(Oh man! For someone so big, he's pretty fast! I'm not gonna out run him this pace! Damn my rotten luck!)
Touma looked to his left as several vehicles sped past him. The Gorilla Man was about seven feet behind Touma but he only needed to be four feet away to be within tackling range. Touma shivered at the thought of being crushed between those sweaty underarms.
(Come on… hurry up dammit!)
After being within five feet of Touma, The Gorilla Man suddenly increased his pace. Being so close to completing his objective must have given him a surge of adrenaline. The Gorilla Man's heart raced in anticipation of tackling the unfortunate boy.
"Come to papa delinquent scum!"
This next sequence of events played out in slow motion before The Gorilla Man's eyes. His jaw dropped and his pupils widened.
Touma leaped to his left into the street, soaring through the air and extended his arms as if he is reaching out for something. The Gorilla Man with his jaw dropped shifted his focus to what was in front of the boy.
Touma barely managed to grab hold of a ladder on the back of a delivery truck of some sorts. His right foot dangled before he pulled it onto the bottom of the ladder.
(Phew! That could have spelt the end of my high school career right there. Looks like my luck's finally turning…)
A huffing a puffing sound reached Touma's ears. He turned his head to see The Gorilla Man matching the speed of the delivery truck traveling at 32 mph, his face completely red. In contrast, the color on Touma's face disappeared entirely.
(…around.)
"You get down from there this instant, delinquent scum!"
"That's not even an option at this point! And quit calling me a delinquent!"
"Only a true delinquent skips out on free public education! And if you won't come to me…!"
The Gorilla Man's huffing and puffing accelerated as he closed in on the back of the delivery truck.
"...I'll just have to come to you!"
Touma's mouth dropped and in retaliation quickly climbed to the top of the truck before crawling towards the end of the large crate. The Gorilla Man jumped onto the ladder, grabbing onto a section a little higher then where Touma caught. He reached the top of the truck takes a few steps before stopping, putting the two at a stand off like in an action movie.
If this were an action movie, Touma and The Gorilla Man would have traded one liners before engaging in moral combat. However…
(Impossible!) Kamijou thought, sweating and a foot away from the edge of the crate. (He is just too fast for a man that big!)
"Dammit delinquent scumbag!" The Gorilla Man shouted with steam literally coming out of his mouth. "It's dangerous up here!"
"Quit calling me that!" Touma shouted back. "And I'm telling you, I've got something really important that I absolutely have to do right now!"
"There's nothing more important in your life right now then learning and growing into respectable young man who contributes to society!"
"What are you, my dad?!"
"No! Just a respectable adult who care about the betterment of the yout-WAIT!"
"What now?!"
"...Is it a girl?!"
Touma's mouth hung open. As shady as Aogami and Tsuchimikado were, he doubted they would have actually broken the Bro Code and snitch on him, even if it was a fake reason.
"It is, isn't it?!" The Gorilla Man shouted as spit flew out of his mouth and flew behind him.
"No! Of course not!" Touma shouted back with an angry expression as he clenched his right fist.
"Young man, if she's making you skip school then she's not the kind of girl you should be hanging around in the first place! Even if she is really cute!"
"SHE'S NOT MAKING ME SKIP SCHOOL! AND THERE IS NO GIRL! AND I DON'T THINK SHE'S CUTE!"
(Wait, why am I defending myself?) Touma quickly reevaluated with a look of confusion. (Great, now it looks like I really am skipping school for Zapper. Not that he knows it's Zapper…which it isn't because I'm not skipping school… at least not for her… and even if I ever did skip school, it wouldn't be for her... unless she's really in trouble because that's what true friends d-)
"Trust me, young man! There are nice cute girls out there who will love you for your personality! You just have to be patient!"
(Yeah right. This is the last guy I should be taking romantic advice fro…)
While Touma was in the middle of performing shallow judgement, The Gorilla Man pulled out his wallet and revealed a collage of pictures featuring him and a very attractive black haired woman with an ample chest resting behind a red sweater vest and a younger version of The Gorilla Man with practically no wrinkles. The Gorilla Man pointed at the first picture.
"This is my wife Rebecca," he said. "We met in college and the reason she chose me over all the fit, young men that were constantly fawning over her was because she said I had character! You hear that?! It's not about what you can do or how good you look! It's about how you go about doing it and the way you carry yourself!"
(Says the guy who supposedly married a supermodel.) Touma thought as he squinted.
The Gorilla Man then pointed to a lower picture showing him carrying a little girl of about five or six with his facial features and Rebecca holds a baby boy resembling her with a yellow pacifier in his mouth.
"And these are our beautiful children, Roberto and Myra! See?! Even a totally average, scrawny, and not too bright delinquent such as yourself can marry a beautiful, smart, and tough woman like my Rebecca with enough effort!"
Ignoring the back handedness of that last statement, Touma stared at the picture with his mouth hanging open slightly.
"Yeah right! That's totally edited!"
"No it's not!" The Gorilla Man snapped back. His immediate response told Touma that The Gorilla Man was accustomed to hearing that.
(Wait! What am I doing? I don't have time for this!)
Touma crawled backwards a bit and stopped once he felt a breeze on the top of his index finger. While The Gorilla Man said something about having a great personality and contradictingly having good finances, Touma's head slowly turned to the left. His pupils shrank.
He quickly swung his head back.
"Hey!" he shouted with a frantic look on his face. Sweat dripped down the side of his timple.
"Oh?! Have you finally come to your senses and decided to give up your delinquent ways to invest in your futur-"
"Shut up and duck!"
"Hmm...?!"
Touma rolled forward and laid on his stomach while covering the top of his head. He shut his eyes tight and gritted his teeth. There was a bridge coming up and the crate of the truck was only a few feet away from the bottom of it. However, it was close enough to the top of the crate to knock down anyone standing over five feet right off the truck, resulting in more than a few injuries.
Touma heard a loud thud. He slowly opened his eyes and saw no one in front of him.
(Oh man! I told him to duck but why didn't he?! D-dammit! This didn't have to end like this…)
As Touma was contemplating his suspected murder assistance, he saw The Gorilla Man climbing over a gate on the bridge at an unnaturally fast speed. After reaching the top of the he leapt, looking about as graceful as a highly trained ballerina. The scene played out in slow motion before Touma as his jaw dropped and his eyes widened. The Gorilla Man landed in the same spot he was previously standing.
"Oh shit!" a male driver in a car not directly behind but to the left of the delivery truck, mimicking Touma's thoughts verbatim.
"So," The Gorilla Man calmly said as if nothing odd or physically impossible just happened. "You were using my story as a means of distracting me while you make a quick getaway, right?!"
Touma's jaw couldn't drop ayd further so his head raised as his mouth expanded.
"No! I tried to help you for crying out loud!"
"That's exactly what a delinquent scum would say!" The Gorilla Man pointed his right index finger at Touma.
Kamijou calmly stood up.
(There has to be a way out of this.) he thought as The Gorilla Man slowly made his way towards him.
"Now, come here slowly and we can both get out of this situation safely-"
Touma jump the right with his arms flailing in the air. The scene played out in slow motion as The Gorilla Man's jaw dropped and his eyes expanded.
"H-hey!" he nervously yelled, futilely reaching out to him with his left hand. "That's dangerou-"
SMACK!
In a fit of lecturing, The Gorilla Man failed to notice the approaching green street sign reading "Fukiyose Street ↖, Masamune Drive ↗". He bounced off the crate, falling directly into the trash heap in the garbage truck behind it.
Touma panicked as he realized he underestimated his strength and jumped a little too high, losing control of where he wanted to land. His limbs dangled helplessly as a young woman with brown hair walked directly in Touma's landing course.
"Look out below!" he yelled at the top of his lungs.
"Huh?" the woman said, looking to her left.
THUD!
Touma's landing was cushioned by the supple C-cup breasts of the young lady that he fell face first on. He quickly pushed himself up and much to his dismay saw that the woman was unconscious with spirals in her eyes.
"Oh shit!" Touma cursed. He repeatedly patted the her on the cheek with his right hand. "Hey! Are you okay…"
Touma's face stiffens. His attention went to his left hand which seemed to be firmly cusping one of the woman's breasts. His cheeks turned red as sweat begins pouring down his forehead like a heavy rainfall.
(Oh shit! I hope no one gets the wrong idea!)
As if God himself heard his prayers and said "Nah," Touma turned his head to his right and noticed a group eight or so delinquent young men that appear to be three or four years older than him. They all stared at him in disbelief.
"So…" the apparent leader of the group said as he cracked his knuckles and soon his neck. "You like touching tits in public, eh?"
Upon closer inspection, the young men were wielding various blunt objects such as steel pipes, wooden planks and chains.
"We may be delinquent scum shunned by society without any hopes for a future but at least we got the decency to respect a woman's assets! Get 'im!"
Like a stampede of wild gazelles, the boys ran towards Kamijou fueled by an odd sense of vigilante justice and fury and a little bit of jealousy. Touma could only stare dumbstruck as he attempted to rationalize the mindset behind the true teenage scum. He is snapped out of his daze by female voice from across the street.
"Hello, is this Anti-Skill?" a young woman in a blue sweater vest, skirt, and light black hair tied in a ponytail said. "Yes, there is a pervert stealing bras in broad daylight! He's on Teppei Drive!
Touma's head swung around at the sudden offense. He was sweating enough to rival the scenic view of Niagara Falls.
"What?! No I'm not!"
He then noticed some sort of wiring caught on his left ring finger. His heart raced as he turns back around raising his left arm to reveal a thin light blue and slightly transparent bra. Some sort of long, high pitched gasp escaped from Touma's mouth.
(This is way too racy for young woman like this! Great, now I'm starting to sound like The Gorilla Man!)
"DELINQUENT SCUUUUUUUUUUUM!"
Touma's face swung to the left and he saw The Gorilla Man, covered in bits of trash with a banana peel over his head. People flew into the air as he mowed past them.
"YOU WILL TRULY SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES FOR DEFYING THE PUBLIC EDUCATION SYSTEM!"
Touma looked at The Gorilla Man madly smiling due the immense shock from the current events proceeding. His attention was then drawn forward by the woman he was still on top of as she moaned. Touma looked down quickly and the woman's eyes widened. Then she looked down at her chest.
"Wait!" Touma attempted to explain as he removed his hand. "It's not what it looks like-doh!"
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
The woman let out an ear piercing scream, sitting upright while covering her chest with her arms. On the way up, she accidentally headbutted Touma in the nose, sending him backwards. He covered his nose with his head faced down as he writhed in pain.
"Rahhhhhhhhhhhhh!" The delinquents shouted as they closed in on Touma.
"HAAAAAAAAAAA!" The Gorilla Man shouted as he closed in on Touma.
Touma looked to his left then to his right as he held his bloodied nose with both hands. Then he closed his eyes and sighed as if he were exhaling tobacco smoke.
CRASH!
In a scene taken directly from a children's cartoon, the delinquents found themselves engaging in battle with The Gorilla Man in a cloud of dust. A few boys flew out of the cloud and immediately charged back in as the sounds of flesh smacking flesh can be heard.
"So!" The Gorilla Man can be heard yelling. "Leaving your cohorts to do your dirty work for you as you make a clean get away, ay delinquent scum?! Ahh, who's bra is this?! I'm a married man!"
"Gah!" The Delinquent Ring Leader grunted. "Don't group us with perverts like him you smelly, hairy ape!"
"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY HAIR?!"
More grunts can be heard as three more boys flew out of the cloud. They immediately come rushing back in, covered in cuts and bruises.
"Hey! Who's grabbing my ass?!" a young man can be heard saying. "...I didn't say stop!"
The Brown Haired Woman sobbed as she held her chest with one hand while the other patting the ground.
"I just wanted to look sexy for my boyfriend. Is that so wrong? *sniff*"
The sounds of bones cracking and grunting men dwindled as Touma sprinted down an alley that happened to be nearby.
(Curse my rotten dumb luck.) he thought with tears in his eyes, still holding his nose.