ACT 8

feels like yesterday; maybe it was

"There must be a reason why he did it," Chris said. "Perhaps you shouldn't take it personally."

"No shit there's a reason, Chris. How can I not take it personally? That character is almost literally me!" With every minute that passed ever since Viktor came home, his voice raised in both volume and pitch. He was angry. "We spent so much time together making sure he was perfect and this is the thanks I get?"

Chris sighed. "Viktor, calm down—"

"No! I don't expect you to understand, of all people, but this means a lot to me, okay? He really hurt my feelings." Viktor gritted his teeth hard. "It's not fair."

"Will you go talk to him, then? I think you sh—"

"Chris, I'm not going to talk to him. I don't want to. What if this is all just a game to him? He sucks people in with his beauty and his charm and—and then he creates a character based off them, and then he kills them and then dumps them like nothing. Maybe this is his way of breaking up with me, I don't know." Viktor dug his fingers in his hair and pulled in frustration. "I thought we had something."

"Maybe you did. Maybe you still do. So go t—"

"No!"

"Alright, fine. Don't." Chris stuffed his face in a—how ironic—romance novel. "I'm not saying anything."

Viktor scoffed. "Oh, I'm sorry, do you think I'm just being dramatic again?"

"No, actually. You know what? I've been keeping my mouth shut for a long time, so now I'm just going to say what I've been meaning to say." Chris tossed his book onto the coffee table and the smack of contact was loud and angry. He almost never got upset, at anything. This surely was a surprise. "I'm sick of talking to you lately, because all you talk about is that boy. Yuuri, Yuuri, Yuuri—'Yuuri this, Yuuri that, I love him so much, oh no, he's being mean to me, oh no, but he's so sweet! But he's so mean!' Viktor, I'm sick of hearing it. You barely spend time with me anymore, and I've been working my ass off to provide for you since you're not walking your boyfriend's dog anymore and you're too good to handle a real job. Give me a break," he muttered, and got up off the couch.

Now Viktor felt guilt spread up his face. Maybe he really had been acting like a jerk lately. "Oh, Chris…"

"I deserve better than this." And with that, Chris disappeared into his room without another sound.

Defeated, Viktor slumped onto the couch. A sigh escaped his mouth and he blinked back moisture in his eyes, but he wasn't sure why the tears were even there. Were they because of Yuuri? Because of Chris? Or both. Probably both.

His heart hurt. He couldn't even agree on the possibility of Phichit being incorrect or pulling a prank on him because that would make even less sense. Yuuri fucking killed him. That was no accident. Everything Yuuri put down on paper had intent, had a purpose, had a reason for being there.

Viktor didn't want to think about it anymore.

Y: Hey what happened? I came home and you weren't there

Y: Phichit said you left for some reason

Y: What's going on?

Y: Heeeeeey

Y: Vityaaa where did you go?

Y: 😢

Y: Heyy how come you're not answering my texts? Are you sick?

Y: Pls respond. I kinda miss you, you dork

Y: Hellooooo

Y: Anyone there?

Y: I would call you, but there are a million reasons why it wouldn't work out lol

Y: Where are you

Y: Seriously. I want to see you

Y: Hey. Are you mad at me?

Y: Please talk to me. It's been 3 whole days and you still haven't replied.

Y: If something's the matter, I'd really like for you to tell me about it. Please come over

With each day that passed, Viktor found it more and more difficult to resist. His thumb rested over the SEND button on more than one occasion. Every single time that happened, some deep cauldron of stubbornness far back in his head compelled him not to respond.

Instead, he unplugged. He turned off his phone and continued to spend his days on Chris' couch, looking out the window and trying to understand. Of course, he knew he wouldn't truly be able to understand unless he asked Yuuri directly, but Viktor was a man, and maybe a selfish, stubborn one at that. When he said he wasn't going to talk to Yuuri, he kept his word no matter how hard it was to refrain from stoking the flame.

Yuuri stopped texting after a while. Chris barely said a word to him now. Viktor wondered how long he would be able to put up with this before he lost his mind, or caved in.

Viktor entered Chris' apartment, took off his shoes, and took off his coat. He smoothed his sweater down and figured a warm shower was well-deserved after a day of scavenging for jobs.

He stepped into the living room. And his heart leapt into his throat.

"Viktor," said Chris flatly. "So kind of you to join us."

Beside him on the couch, Yuuri gazed with sad brown eyes.

Viktor stiffened and his blood turned into ice. He stared at Yuuri for a moment before flicking his eyes to Chris. "What's he doing here?"

Chris pursed his lips. "You should know why he's here." He reached over towards Yuuri and put a hand on his shoulder. "This young man tells me he searched high and low to find out where you lived. Spent most nights thinking about you. Couldn't sleep, didn't eat, and didn't write, either." His jade eyes narrowed. "Says you were not talking to him."

Viktor bristled. Why did he have to be attacked the second he got home? "That's right. I wasn't."

Yuuri looked at him, eyes pleading. Viktor didn't want to be mad anymore. He wanted to sit on the couch next to him and pull him onto his lap and kiss him. He hated when Yuuri was sad, but Viktor couldn't just forget what Yuuri had done to him. Viktor chewed nervously on the inside of his cheek and tried not to look Yuuri's way.

Chris sighed, and flashed Yuuri an apologetic look, and then squeezed his shoulder and he rose. "Right, well. I don't wish to get in between you two; I hope you both can settle this right here, right now." He gave Viktor one final hard look, and then retreated into his room, shutting the door behind him.

And then it was just Yuuri and Viktor. Viktor spotted a looseleaf on the coffee table, half of the writing in Yuuri's tiny scribbles, and the other half in Chris' flowing script.

They looked at each other. Then Yuuri moved his hands. Why didn't you answer my texts?

Viktor scowled. "I was angry with you."

Why? Yuuri's eyes widened with alarm.

The truth had to come out. Viktor blinked hard and his eyes felt slightly damp. "When I was waiting for you, your friend came over. And we started talking about your book."

Yuuri nodded slowly.

Viktor placed his hands on his hips for one, two, three, five seconds. Then he inhaled sharply. "He didn't seem to take too kindly to you killing Vincent."

Yuuri's shoulders drooped. His face fell and paled. He anxiously cracked his knuckles and wet his lips. So he told you how it ends?

Viktor crossed his arms.

Yuuri sighed deeply and closed his eyes for a moment. He seemed to think over what he was going to say next. He opened his eyes. I don't know what to tell you. Yes, Vincent does die, but that has nothing to do with you.

"Nothing to do with me? Nothing? How can you say that, Yuuri? As if Vincent wasn't almost exactly based off of me? And then you go and kill him like it's not even a big deal?"

Viktor, it's just a book. It has nothing to do with you and I, in real life.

"Oh, it has everything to do with real life. A normal person wouldn't make a character based off someone they care about just to kill them off. That really hurt my feelings, Yuuri."

Yuuri's face flooded with colour, but he was beginning to look less guilty and more annoyed. I would never kill off any of my characters just because I didn't like them. Everything happens for a reason. If you could read the rest of my book, you'd know why he ends up dying.

"I don't want to read the rest of it. Not anymore."

Okay, that's fine, so don't. He said that so nonchalantly, but Viktor knew Yuuri was hurt, too, by the way his fingers shook ever so slightly. I don't understand why you're making such a big deal over a fictional character in a book.

"Maybe because I inspired him? Maybe because I like him as a character? Maybe because I can connect and relate to him emotionally? God, you know, for an author, you really have no idea how your audience feels!"

You're crazy. I can't believe you're getting this worked up about some stupid book I wrote. You wouldn't care if Yukiko killed him off, but you care when I do. Yuuri shook his head and now he was angry, too. You don't understand.

"Oh, I understand," Viktor snapped. "I think I do. And you know what I think? I think maybe we jumped into this relationship too quick. Everything happened a little too fast, don't you think?"

Yuuri's entire body seized up. His wide eyes watered and his bottom lip trembled. Are you breaking up with me?

Viktor trembled. "I think it's for the best. I think it'll be good for us. Space, that is."

Yuuri looked like he was going to throw up. Viktor felt one of his lungs tear a hole in the delicate tissue. Slowly Yuuri stood, and approached Viktor. He put a hand out, as if to touch Viktor's shoulder, but the other man pulled away. Any more of this, and he swore he would break down, emotionally and physically. "Please," Viktor said. He didn't want to do this, but killing Vincent had to mean something. "You should go home." He looked away so he wouldn't have to see the expression on his—ex-boyfriend's face.

He heard a deep, shuddering, shaky, wet sigh. Yuuri cleared his throat. Then he slowly moved past Viktor to the door. He didn't turn around and Viktor watched his back slump to the exit. He didn't turn around and he slipped on his shoes and coat. He didn't turn around and he slid out the door.

It didn't make sense but Viktor hurt. A lot, too. No, no—he had to move on. If he thought about this anymore he was going to be sick.

He stood in the living room after Yuuri left for about twelve minutes, watching the light dance around the room and feeling the time go by.

It didn't make sense. It didn't make sense as hard as he thought about it. Nothing made sense and he'd be damned if it was supposed to.

Was it supposed to?

A/N: 2 chaps left! How will it end? Lemme read y'all theories.

I watched Infinity War the other day and I actually broke down and cried in the theatre like how could these people do this to me. why. Why must I suffer like this whY /GROSS SOBBING NOISES

Hope you guys enjoyed. See you next week. Have a fantastic weekend.

Stay classy.