The Unceasing Path

Ch 15 : 人海孤鴻

Alone - wherein Makoto deals with the mess that Ami left to her.

[Ami's Apartment. Same day...]

Makoto hammered on the bump key as quietly as possible. Luckily, it was a fairly loud neighbourhood. No one was going to notice the extra banging noises in the hallway, much less comment on it.

The key turned over on the third strike. Makoto felt a small twinge of guilt breaking and entering Ami's apartment - like she was invading her partner's privacy somehow.

Then she remembered: Ami was dead. Serves her right for dying without any goddamn explanations. She pulled the door open with unnecessary force.

There wasn't much to see. The apartment had seen better days, likely decades ago. Plaster cracked off the ceiling exposing raw concrete and rusted rebar beneath. The living room smelled like a mix of old grease and petrol from the shops downstairs. The broken tiles in the bathroom seemed to be mostly held together by mildew. There was a general air of neglect about the place that broke Makoto's heart.

Makoto sighed and turned on the nearest light switch. It almost wasn't necessary with the way that the neon signs outside were glaring into the apartment. Still, those lights cast harsh shadows and she wanted a good look at everything. The fluorescent lights flicked on with a hum.

Makoto set her watch. She had about 4 hours to look around here before she had to meet Haruka back at the auto detailing shop.

Where to begin?

Makoto did a quick walk through of the apartment. Nothing jumped out at her. Nobody had been here for days. Which, she realized with a sharp pang, fit the timeline perfectly. It was hard to believe that Ami was really dead.

Makoto bit her lip. There had to be something here. Some indication of what Ami was doing, some evidence of what she was thinking. Nothing exists in a vacuum. Ami couldn't just vanish without leaving some kind of a mark.

For lack of any other ideas, she sat down on the futon in the corner of the room. She looked under the pillow, trying to get into Ami's headspace. Sure enough, there was a small butterfly knife there. That didn't tell her anything new, but it was something. Proof that she was on the right track. Makoto twirled the knife, letting her mind wander as the blade open and shut, open and shut..

She remembered the night that Ami had drawn this exact knife on her. That was the night they first became partners. That was the night Ami said that she trusted her. Since then, they had worked together building case after case – to great success. The number of criminals they had taken off the streets was nothing short of remarkable. There was no reason at all for Ami to change the way they worked...so why would she go off on her own now? Why wouldn't she tell her own goddamn partner what was going on?

She thought about the last time she had seen Ami. That night in the hotel room. The ghost of their parting kiss lingered on her lips. If she had known that would be the last, would she have done things differently?

Makoto closed her eyes, focusing on her job rather than dwelling on how frustrated she was with Ami for leaving her in this mess.

Dammit. It wasn't fair. She pocketed the knife and moved on.

Makoto got up off the bed and continued to sweep the room. Closets, drawers, cupboards. Everything seemed normal. Too normal. There were no guns, or explosives, or any of the other crazy shit she knew Ami kept in her home. Makoto frowned. She had been hoping to find that laptop Ami used for her reports. She had been sure if would be here and that it would hold some clue to what was going on.

But no. Makoto had searched everywhere. The laptop was not in the apartment. That could only mean one thing. Ami had cleaned the place out before she left. She must have expected that she might not come back.

That fucking idiot. Makoto could kill her if she weren't already dead.

There was nothing here. There was nothing to do but go home and find a way to sort through the other shitstorm that was brewing. Makoto felt totally lost and adrift. She was on her own.

"Excuse me! Miss! Did I just see you come out of unit 2-b?"

A woman's voice called out into the hallway. Shit. One of Ami's neighbours must have seen her come out of the apartment. Makoto turned about, looking for the unseen speaker.

"Uh...hello?" she called out to the voice. Makoto had no excuse as to what the fuck she was doing here. "Can I help you?"

"One moment, one moment. Let me get this door first." the door to unit 2-E across the hall slammed shut. Makoto heard the rattle of the security chain before it opened again. A frail old lady waddled out into the hall. 4'10, white hair, thin build. She waved for Makoto to come closer rather than making the trip all the way out of her unit.

"Yup, tall. About ye high with brown hair. It must be you." The old lady looked Makoto up and down owlishly "The nice blue haired girl that lives there, she asked me to keep an eye on the place while she was out of town. Said she was expecting a friend to come by looking for a book?"

"Yeah. It'd be me."

"Sorry for asking, but what colour is the book you're looking for? Your friend left me a whole stack of books and my eyes aren't so good anymore so I can't read the titles."

Their old code. Literally. Makoto felt a little trill of excitement. "I'm looking for the green one." She said without hesitation.

The woman nodded. "Ah! Yes. Wait right here. Let me get it for you."

"Thank you."

The woman puttered away muttering something about walkers and usefulness. She returned after a few minutes with a book in hand.

"Here we go! Good thing you came by or else I would have had to call you. Ai yah. I hate phones, but your friend helps me around the house so often that I just couldn't say no when she needs a favour. It would be bad manners." Makoto reached for the book, but the woman had transitioned into gossip mode and wasn't about to stop talking. "So, speaking of...is your friend seeing anyone? My grandson would be perfect for her! He's a lawyer. You be sure to tell her that next time you see her ok?"

"Ah...sure. I'll be sure to pass it on but between you and me, I don't think she'll be interested. Could I have the book please?"

"Oh! Right! The book!" The woman squinted down at the book and babbled on blithely " What is this about?"

"It's uh..." Makoto snuck a quick peek at the title. "It's a cookbook."

"A cookbook! Excellent, excellent. Your friend is too skinny. She needs to eat more. Do you cook young lady?"

"Yes I do." Makoto replied bursely, trying to end the conversation without being suspiciously rude.

"Lovely! Good for you! Very important. Kids these days. Everyone's too busy, no time to cook. Always take-out, take-out, take-out. Not good for you. Everyone needs to sit down and have a nice meal everyday. With soup. Soups are important. Bitter melon with minced dace in the summer to cool you down. Black chicken with wolfberry and ginger in the winter to warm you up. That's how you get to be as old as me one day. Remember that ok?"

Makoto was at her absolute upper limit for chit-chat. "I'm very sorry, I really have to get going now." She held her hand out meaningfully. Thankfully, the lady got the message and finally handed the book over. Makoto clutched at it with clammy hands. There had to be a reason why Ami left it for her to find. "Thank you for the book."

"You're welcome. No need for thanks. Although, before you go, could you help me out with one small thing?" Makoto agreed without thinking and regretted it as soon as she thought. She was anxious to begin investigating the book but It didn't feel right to turn an old lady down. "The birds on the roof. No one has fed them all week. Normally Ami does it, but since she's away... would you mind? I would do it myself, but I can't walk up all those stairs. Wait right here. I'll get the birdseed for you."

Makoto did so. Several long minutes later, she found herself walking up 7 flights of stairs carrying the book in one hand and a sack of birdseed in the other.

The rooftop was a mess of chicken wire antennas and the remains of a long abandoned shanty house. A flock of white pigeons swarmed her the instant she set foot out into the open air.

"Sorry guys, I'm not who you were expecting." Makoto whispered as she scattered handfuls of seed. "She's not coming back, but I'll do my best. Here you go." The birds didn't seem to care very much. They flapped about, cooing and bobbing as they feasted. They were happy in their ignorance.

This was a nice place to sit and think. It was surprisingly peaceful. The streets below were chock-a-block with people and enterprise, but up here, it was just her and the pigeons. Makoto wondered if Ami found it peaceful as well. She felt strange connection feeding the birds knowing that this was something Ami used to do.

Makoto dumped out the rest of the seed bag and sat down to go through Ami's book. She read the title again: 'Japanese Comfort Foods – 101 recipes for the soul'

Well, that told her nothing. Except perhaps that Ami had grabbed the first book she saw at the store.

Once again, Makoto found herself angry with her partner. If Ami had trusted her enough to tell her the truth in the first place, maybe she wouldn't fucking be dead right now...

Makoto thumbed through the book. A business card fluttered out from between the pages. Ultra Isotherm Electronics, 151 Apliu St – opening hours: 9am - 9pm. Makoto was surprised to see her own initials and phone number on the receipt stapled to the card. Apparently, she was being billed 950$ for a laptop screen replacement. A quick look at her watch told her that it was just after hours now. She would have to go by the shop first thing in the morning.

Finally. A solid lead. It had to be Ami's missing laptop. There must be something there that Ami wanted her to find. Makoto continued to flip through the pages, desperate for more. There was nothing. Just recipes and recipes. Okonomiyaki, yudofu, udon. Nothing until page 126 – Omurice. Japanese egg and rice omelette.

There was a note in the margins. Ami's handwriting. It was short. Only two sentences. Every word cut like a knife in the heart.

"If you are reading this, I'm sorry. I love you."

Makoto slammed the book shut. The birds all flew away at the sound. The tears she had been holding back broke though hot as she read the words Ami had never been able to say.

Dammit Ami... Why did you have to go and leave things like this?

"Makoto...are you alright?"

Makoto sniffed. She wiped her eyes quickly hoping that Ami wouldn't notice the tears. "Yeah. I'm ok. It's nothing."

Ami, of course, did notice. "Its not nothing, you're crying." She took Makoto's hand softly and kissed it, tasting the salt on the back of her hand. "We can stop if you'd like."

"Really. No. I'm fine. I always cry at movies, remember?"

Ami tilted her head. That was true enough. If she weren't so worried about Makoto right now, she might have smiled at how precious Makoto really was. Guilt ate away at her inside. She'd been so carried away in the story that she didn't really stop to consider her audience. Having her character run off and abandon Makoto's character to die sight unseen...she might as well have launched a guided missile straight at Makoto's heart.

"I'm sorry... I didn't think the story would take that turn. I got carried away. I should have been more considerate."

"No no! Ami. don't apologize. It's not your fault. It's mine. I'm just not good at this kinda thing." Makoto screwed up her face the way she did whenever she was trying not to say something. Like always, it didn't work. "And you know I wouldn't be mad at you like that ok! I mean, fine, I would be pissed if you ran off and died without telling anyone or saying goodbye, but I don't think it would really be directed at you."

Ami bit her lip. "You should be. If I ever left you the way "Sergeant Mizuno" left "Constable Kino", I think I would deserve whatever happens."

"But you wouldn't do that would you? Not for real."

"Never." For Makoto, she would break her own rule of 'never say never'. For Makoto, she would be willing to break any and every rule. Ami was sure of that. "I will never make that mistake again." Ami chuckled a bit to herself. "Maybe this story is just me reinforcing that to myself subconsciously."

"Good." Makoto gave a humorless laugh. "I can't argue with that then."

Ami propped herself up on the couch. she turned around and pulled Makoto towards her so that their positions were reversed. Makoto now lay on her shoulder. Ami wrapped her arms around her partner as best she could. They stayed like that a little while. Makoto was so quiet that Ami thought she might have fallen asleep until Makoto spoke again.

"Hey Ami?" Makoto whispered.

"Yes?"

"Tell me you love me. I need to hear you say it right now."

"I love you Kino Makoto. With all my heart." Ami paused. The words "For always" were on the tip of her tongue. She wanted to promise she'd always be there for Makoto, but, she couldn't. Not without lying. "Even if something does happen to me...I want you to know that you're loved. That doesn't change. That won't ever change. If one day, even if the worst should happen...the feelings I have for you will still be there. Nothing can take that away."

"Thank you. Umm...likewise you know?"

"Don't worry. I know. You show me all the time." Ami leaned down and kissed the top of Makoto's head. " "Feeling better?"

"Yeah. I do. Loads." Makoto set her jaw. "Besides..." she smirked. A knowing gleam sparkled in Makoto's eye. "I know how you think."

"Hmmm? And just what am I thinking?"

"Ami's not really dead is she? She's too smart and devious for that. She's suspicious of Mamoru and that listening device is her doing. She faked her death to see how things shook out in her absence!"

Ami's eyebrows shot up. It took all her self control not to spill the beans right then and there.

"You're right about at least one thing, but not all of it. There's only one way to find out isn't there? Want to keep going?"

"Hell yeah! This is a good story. I want to know what happens next!"

"As you wish..."

A.N.

*pulls lampshade out of hammerspace and hangs it on Ami's head*

I confess, that last scene of Mako's reaction was a last minute add on (as in I just finished it 5 mins ago). I had originally avoided showing it because...well, it's kind of alot to unpack given the characters, but as I got feedback and reviews on the previous chapters, I realized that it was something that couldn't be avoided.

Cheers,

-Drift.

Up Next:

Ch 16: 談判專家 - Expert Negotiation - wherein many words are exchanged, and everyone has their own agenda