Stephanie Hwang

My heart fluttered into bits when he told me he liked me. I liked him too, I'm sure now. Hearing him saying it puts aside all those doubts I had about him because no one starts a friendship first with an 'I like you.'

He asked for a friendship first. He didn't jump into the lovey-dovey relationship part, he's asking for a friendship which takes forever to build, a long time to cross before you even start to think about the next step. I adore him for because that's what I'm asking too; taking it slow.

I also realized that I really liked sleeping ontop of him, he's so warm and cuddly. I liked the arm he had around my back, like he was protecting me. Still, I couldn't help but feel like our position was a little, over the top? In a way, like it was kind of a big jump from a little kiss, or a 20 second hand hold.

I fell asleep on the guy and I enjoyed every bit of it.

When I woke up I slowly got off him but his arm was so strong, it basically was like a rubber band and it snapped me back in place not letting me leave. I had to wiggle my way free, replacing myself with a cushion in which he happily took in his sleep.

I couldn't find my phone anywhere but when he groaned and turned his body to the side, I found the device right in his hand.

I made another sneaky move to grab a notebook and swiftly changed it with my phone. He took the little bait again and snorted in his sleep.

Nick: i'll see you when you come home. :)

My fear started to instantly spring up again. I didn't want to go home, I wanted to stay here, or stay with Tae. Every time I go home I wonder if i'll live till the next day.

Sooyoung: girl, where are you?

Stephanie: I'm in Germany, with Tae ._.

Sooyoung: YOU'RE WHERE? WITH WHO?!

Stephanie: The really tall guy who kind of has a baby face. you know. . . that guy.

Sooyoung: no piggy, I don't know who _ .

Stephanie: That dinner party you dragged me to? You know to meet new people. :s

Sooyoung: oh my god, you mean that guy?! Kim Taeyeon?! Did you get laid?

Stephanie: WTF NO.

Sooyoung: WHY ARE YOU IN GERMANY WITH HIM OH MY GOD. SAVE IT, TELL ME WHEN YOU COME HOME. YOU'RE SAFE RIGHT?

Stephanie: Yes mom. :c

Sooyoung: k, if anything happens to you I'm blaming him :)

Sooyoung: aaand I want to hear your adventure with Taeyeon over dinner, you're paying.

Stephanie: Fine. ._.

I groaned at the impending dinner I'd have to attend to. Not really looking forward to discussing my crush with her. Only because she judges the crap out of anyone I happen to like and scold me for literally everything. Welp, perks of a best friend.

I just stayed at the hotel and walked along the nearby shops when Taeng had to do his business. Wasn't anything eventful and we went back to sleeping in our rooms for the next 2 nights. When we flew back he asked me if I wanted to have dinner at his place, I declined just because I already bothered him enough.

I followed Taeng back into his office because he had to get something. I only agreed because he told me he doesn't feel safe leaving me in his car. We bickered for like 10 minutes sitting in the parking lot with me defending myself saying how I am fully capable of sitting pretty in a car without anything happening. He opened the door of the car and unbuckled my seat belt for me and stood there till I got annoyed and went with him.

I was behind him like a duckling to a mother duck, following him like a train. His back was so big, so muscular and that suit just accelerated that even more. He looks like the freaking hulk.

I mean, because his back was so huge it covered most of my vision. Stephanie doesn't mind staring all day at his back though. But when eh abruptly stopped it made me walk right into his wall like body. I bounced off and was pretty angry at him.

"Yah! Don't stop in the middle of the hallway like that." I scolded, rubbing my nose.

When he didn't reply I stepped to the side of him and eyed his profile. He was breathing heavily, his face just dropped. If you could picture an angry Tae with fumes exiting through his nostrils and ears, and with flames in his eyes, that was him.

"Taetae?" I called, weirded out by him. I followed his line of sight and stood back a bit.

His entire office, specifically his office was trashed to no end. It was like a tornado ran across his room 50 times. Desks were flipped, chairs had no legs attached to them anymore, his shelf was overturned, pens papers folders were all over the place. Vases were smashed and paintings had a big large 'x' crossed in the middle of it with a knife, cut up and rendered useless.

I nervously fidgeted in my spot, knowing it could be him.

Taeng slowly walked up to a flipped over desk, touching it slightly only for it to literally disintegrate within his touch and fall apart. Wooden planks piled upon his feet and dust was everywhere.

I saw him clench his fist, and that sharp jaw of his and before I knew it I was under his cold icy glare again. I felt so shaky when he did that, like I didn't know him anymore. The scary part was, he didn't say anything. He as quiet, too quiet. I wanted to say he was almost calm, but I knew there was a storm brewing inside of him.

He broke the stare and glanced at a piece of paper on the desk, picking it up harshly and scanning it quickly before crumpling it up and throwing it on the ground. He stomped out of the office, bumping his shoulder into mine as I followed him but picking up that piece of paper and unraveling it.

Kim Taeyeon,

one chance. don't touch what's mine.

Below it was a stapled picture of us in Germany outside of the balcony in our hotel. Smiling, as we looked at each other with our cups of tea in our hands.

My hands trembled, barely holding the paper and picture still. How could he be everywhere, and so close.

We took the elevator down to the parking lot and I tried to catch up to his fast walking pace. He had long legs, taking longer strides than me s I had to basically run to match with him. I got more nervous and afraid as seconds passed. He wouldn't talk to me, and I knew it was him.

We walked into this secluded part of the parking lot, where there was a gated off area that I guess VIP's were only allowed to park there. He pushes a button on the remote he held and walked with such authority inside, practically stomping his way in.

I kept running and running and running in the big open area to him and when he stopped in the middle of the parking lot I stopped too. I stepped aside again, letting the sight of a smashed Ashton Martin sink into me.

If you wanted to piss the Kim Taeyeon off, it would be this.

He circled the car and then leaned against the concrete wall. His shoes crunched against the glass and when he inched the bumper on the floor with his foot it made this screeching sound that echoed in the lot.

"Taeyeon-ah." I softly said, afraid of anything that I'd do would provoke him.

"Stephanie, do you have any fucking idea who you dated?"

"A fucking triad member! He's part of a fucking criminal organization, he's a drug trafficker Fany-ah! A fucking gang member!"

I shook my head, desperate to defend myself not even knowing about him.

"How can you be so fucking clueless! Look! Look!" He shouts, pointing as his car before kicking the side of it denting the metal door with such force.

"You think he can single handedly do this himself?! He's got an entire posse doing this shit for him!"

"Taeyeon-ah, I'm sor-"

"You're sorry? You're sorry?! My office is a complete mess, my fucking car is destroyed and all you can say is fucking sorry?!"

My heart clenched, this wasn't the Taeyeon I knew.

"You know what, this wouldn't have fucking happened if I didn't stop my plane to check up on you."

I gulped the lump in my throat and stopped squeezing my fingers. I looked up at him with slightly teary eyes but ultimately with a death glare.

"You might as well say you wish you hadn't met me at the Gala." I muttered under my breath.

"You're right. I wish I never fucking met you at all, this wouldn't have happened in the first place if I hadn't met you." He spat out and angrily slammed his fist on the hood of his distorted car. He continued to kick around scraps and remains of his prized possession. Cursing at me while he's going at it with every part of his body.

I turned around and walked away.

"Tell me! Tell me what he did to you! I need to know!" I shook my head and quickened my pace, walking faster.

"Where the fuck are you going, huh? Going to run away from your problems like you always do?" He taunted, and within a flash he grabbed me by my arm jolting me and shaking me to make me look at him.

I was pretty sure I looked like a mess because I felt the hot tears drip on my hand, I couldn't take it anymore. Why does he have a way with words that hurt so much. We're friends and he's already have such a big affect on me and I just can't.

I tried tugging my hand and arm away from his hold, holding in my sobs as I bit my lip. When I couldn't seem to shake him off I hit him, I hit him harshly everywhere I could to make him release me but he held me so tightly.

"Listen to yourself Taeyeon-ah. The things that you're saying, are they okay?" I softly asked, muffling my sobs with my hand. He let me go and with soft eyes hugged me.

I pushed him away and stood back completely in tears and upset at myself.

"The things you say, they hurt. They hurt like when Nick touches me, when he slaps me." I said looking into his eyes. He looked down and nodded like he understood me but clearly he doesn't.

"Remember the things you said to me back at my house? How you told me not to lead you on, how you don't want to see me if I'm just 'playing' with your feelings? Do you know how shitty that made me feel?" He shook his head and looked guilty. He rubbed the back of his nape and looked away.

"Stephanie. . ."

"Taeyeon-ah, I told you to forget about that incident at my house for a reason. I thought you could be different. But when you say things like regretting that you even stepped out of your plane to console me, it makes me question my involvement with you."

"If I'm not enough for you, then please just tell me now?" I pleaded, desperate to know the answer.

When he kept rubbing his foot on the concrete floor without answering my question I walked away, frustrated and upset.

He called my name, once, twice? Not sure, it was all muddled out.

I stood beside a bus stop and wiped my tears away, getting my wallet out for the tap card. The bus slowly came my way and I waited patiently, tuning out all the sounds from my ears, fading out the movements made around me.

My legs treaded slowly into the back corner seat to the right, leaning against the window as the bus started to accelerate forward.

Stop after stop people came and go, just like how people come and go in your life. There's not a chance that people stay forever because at the end everyone gets off, or leaves eventually.

My eye caught the guy in the grey suit, slicked back hair and tired eyes. We met, once again.

He sat down a few seats infront of me in the empty bus. So close to me, when he could've just sat in the front and avoided me. The poor bus lights flickered every once and awhile, it shone on him with that blue tint. Made it look so depressing.

When we passed by Kingsway, I sat up a bit alerted. This was his stop, he just had to get off and walk 20 minutes up to his secluded hills.

I relaxed my back and kept scanning him over and over again, he fidgeted with a handkerchief in his hand, letting it slip inbetween his fingers. So smooth, so silky.

"You missed your stop."

"I guess I did." He replied, not so energetically.

I hummed, looking down at my hands that I had gripped and tugged at multiple times. A little habit that I couldn't get rid of. My fingers inched to the ring I had on my finger, spinning it once.

I turned it clockwise to see it go around my slim finger. I touched the side of t, feeling the engravings on it before pulling it off my hand and pocketing it.

It turned out to be my spot and I got up, not sparing a glance at him as I stepped out of the bus. I pulled my jacket closer to me putting my hands in my pocket as I walked briskly around the curb then straight.

I heard the clicks of shoes behind me and surprisingly I didn't quicken my pace. Those oxford shoes, that clicked so harmoniously in my ears. I knew the sound of his walk, I knew the sound of my favourite shoes.

I turned around and he was a few feet behind me, walking cautiously behind me still holding that piece of cloth in his hand so gingerly.

"What are you doing?"

"Making sure you get home safely."

I shook my head. "You should go home, it's night. My house is just up the block I'll be fine."

"He's capable of a lot of things Fany-ah."

"It's nothing I can't handle."

"It is something you can't handle. can you just let me, let me take care of you for once?"

"Let's do friendship." I blurted out. End it now, right? I'll end it now, spare us, or myself the heartache.

"What?"

"Friendship. The type of relationship where you don't care as much for the other person, you eave them alone and you disregard all feelings to having just a platonic relationship." He shook his head furiously, he ran up to me and grabbed my hand gently. He lead to me the bench and patted the spot beside him.

I sat down, and he sat down. Both of us didn't look at each other and it was incredibly awkward. It was like we were slanted 45 degrees away from each other on the bench and we both were fiddling with our hands not knowing what to say.

"No friendship. I can't. We can't. I told you that i liked you, you told me that you liked me. You're enough Fany, you're more than enough."

"So?" That came out a little too rough, sorry Tae.

"F-Fany-ah, I shouldn't have done or said any of that. There were boundaries and I crossed it without thinking much of it, I'm sorry. I know I say sorry a lot, I know that okay? I don't know what else to say because I screw up so many times and the only thing I know how to say to you is sorry."

"It's just Nick. Fany-ah, you have to tell me what he did to you. I need to know more, little bits here and there don't help. I need to know just how bad he hurt you."

"He-"

"Touched you, hit you, slapped you, kicked you. Tell me more."

I start tearing up and when it's too much he sighs and nods.

"I'll be patient this time. I'll hear it from you when you're ready."

He held my hand and I followed him obediently.

"I'm taking you to my house, just because I feel like he's sitting on your house waiting for the perfect moment to cause trouble."

The taxi ride to his house was quiet and awkward. The sight was a must see though, we rolled into an isolated part of the city where there were large rolling hills that lead to multi million mansions. We went into his section of the area that displayed a clear water front mansion that was sleek and modern, and beside it was a private beach that dipped into the sea that was connected to the house.

The first time I was in his house was when I was unconscious and battered. I left without even sparing another look at my surroundings.

My eyes widened at the sight, I've never left my small quaint little town house, seeing this was incredible. He opened the house with a pass code and finger scan. I stepped in and took my shoes off as I was greeted with the same black and white sleek modern look from his company building. He has a really nice taste in furniture. You could tell he was wealthy, but at the same time he didn't shower his home with expensive art or ridiculous gold plated items. It was just sleek and modern and spacious.

I walk into the living room and sat down, making my self at home while overseeing everything in the room trying to get a glimpse of what Tae was like outside of the office.

I made assumptions to what Tae liked. For example I thought he liked the colour navy blue because his rooms had that colour scheme, he liked hockey because of the memorabilia placed neatly in a glass cupboard, he enjoys expensive whisky and wines as shone in his alcoholic beverage rack, and he also likes the character Kaonashi?

I sat down in the middle of his living room, playing wit the stuffed toy still feeling a little weary about the two of us. He handed me a cup of tea and sat down beside me, crossing his legs till he rotated his body to face me.

"Can we start over?"

"What do you mean?"

"Hi, I'm Taeng." I smiled when I got what he meant.

"Hi, I'm Taeng's biggest nightmare." I teased. He had the most confused look ever.

We went back and forth, teasing each other till we rolled into a sofa laughing like hyenas when our eyes meet and we stare at each other. He looks into to my eyes like he's searching for something and at that moment I feel a part of my wall crumbling and succumbing to his look. He gives me a weak smile and brings his hand up to my fringe and tuck it behind my ear. My hand unconsciously wandered up to his face and I cup his well defined jaw before trailing my hand behind his ear and slowly play with it. We kept staring at each other like this looking into each other's eyes tenderly, none of us say a word.

I realized what we were doing before retreating my hand back and look the the other way. I get up and start to walk away not wanting him to see that vulnerable side of me, not yet, and not today.

I excuse myself and look behind me to see him in a kneeling position hovering at the spot I was just at. He looked hurt from my actions but I can't let him or myself do this. Leading him on was bad enough and even though I don't want to admit it; I know I'm starting to fall for him again.

I hear a soft knock on the bathroom door and I open it and crane my neck upwards to see him.

"Fany-ah, I'm sorry." He mutters, barely audible but I heard it.

I shut the bathroom for and start to walk back the living room which was in a mess with pillows and cushions all over the floor, game pieces scattered across the room and furniture slightly misplaced. We did all that, and in a matter of seconds it turned back into the awkward atmosphere of one person leaving the room and the other left alone to think about what they did wrong.

"You don't need to be sorry, it's just that I don't know what you want and what I want." I whisper

He grabs my hand and gives it a squeeze before speaking. "You're giving me so many mixed signals and you're leading me on, please just tell me what you're feeling."

I stare at the floor as I tell him how I really felt. "The thing is, I don't even know what I want Taetae, and I'm sorry for doing this. I don't know what we are. Half the time were friends and the other half were complete strangers in silence thinking about what had happened."

"Do you not like me? Are you not sure?" He says.

"Tae, it's not that I don't like you it's just me. I don't know if I'm even ready. I'm so scared Taeyeon-ah." I say with my voice shaking.

"Why do you look like you're in so much pain when you're with me or when we're having a little intimate moment? I feel like you're hurting every time I'm with you. I want to fix that, fix whatever is bothering you. You don't have to tell me what's wrong, but I just want you to know that I'll take care of you." He says with a sigh.

He places a hand on my back before pulling me into a hug. He rubs soothing circles on my back and I let out waves and waves of sobs and tears. Tears flowed continuously like I was the pacific ocean, and I only stopped to turn my face from his shoulder to gasp for air before returning to my past state and continue to cry my tear ducts out.

When I was only reduced to hiccups I looked up at his shoulder grimacing at the wet tear stained spots i had left on him.

"Better?" He asked I nodded still looking at his wet shirt.

"I made a mess."

"Well you are a mess." He teased with a little laugh. I hit him on the chest and frowned, pulling away from this donkey.

"Jokes, jokes. Let's get you upstairs hm?" He stood up and extended his hand, I room it and followed his pull and went upstairs with him.

We fought over who was sleeping where and he ultimately slept on the floor with an extra mattress parked right beside the bed I was sleeping on. He was practically right beside me really, except I was raised a foot off the floor because of the bed frame.

He's so close yet so far. Damn it.

"Good night Fany-ah."

I scotched to the end of the mattress and peeked down to see him. He looked so attractive with his hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling.

Wait he wasn't staring at the ceiling, he was staring back right at me looking at him. Oh my god.

I laid back on the bed, embarrassed to the max about what I just did. If I had known he was awake I wouldn't have stared at him in awe. Omo.

It was a couple of minutes later where I had the bright idea of dangling my arm off the bed, patting the side of the bed frame in search for Tae.

He seemed to catch on and he laced his hand with mine. I heard him chuckle and felt him graze my hand.

I peeked over the bed as I laid on my chest, hiding my shy face.

"Miss me?" He said, tugging my hand. He still had one hand behind his head which still made him look pretty cool. It didn't help that his abs looked even more pronounced as he stayed in that position.

"You wish."

"As a mater of fact. I do highly wish for you to miss my precious self. Makes me feel wanted and needed by a person." He says with a smug smile, like he's proud of himself for a that joke.

"Pfft. Precious my ass." I let go of his hand and I slid down to the mattress on the floor. I laid beside him with our shoulders touching as we stared at the ceiling.

"Nice for you to join me." He teased as he nudges me.

"I felt bad leaving you alone."

"As if, psht." He chuckles and I elbowed him lightly laughing along with him.

Was it hard to not stare at the hunky man with abs on display for me? Yup, very.

He turned to face me as he laid on his side with his head propped on his hand.

"What. Why are you looking at me like that." I turned to face him too but I laid on the pillow, too tired to look at him intently as he was with me.

He shrugs.

He pokes me in the cheek and then slumps back down on the mattress.

Taeng I'm giving you a blatant chance to get closer to me and potentially cuddle me to sleep. Oh my god take a hint.

He puffs his cheeks up and I sneaked a glance at him.

It went on for a couple of minutes and the frustrating angst of Taeyeon not even making a single move on me made me want to squeal.

I turned around and slipped myself into his chest, burying my face into his neck.

I breathed in that sweet wood smell of his and made sure I avoided all eye contact with him.

Sure, I did make a bold move on him but it's not like I had anything to lose. Plus, he took too long.

I felt like he didn't breathe at all. I look down and his chest was rising up or down. I finally craned my neck up to him and he stared at the ceiling with wide eyes.

"A girl just touched me oh my god." He wheezed out and finally exhaled.

It must've been 3 AM when I opened my eyes and saw the same shoulder I shut my eyes to. I glance up to see if he was sleeping, but to my surprise he combs my hair with his hand and gives me that reassuring smile; the one that whispers to you 'it's going to be okay.' He leans back and pushes my head onto his shoulder again and I snuggle into the warmth as he repeats the same circles on my back as I fight the urge to close my eyelids and fall asleep again.

I wake up to the sound of running water in the distant background. I slowly sit up from the soft padded mattress and feel the pillows and covers not knowing where I am. I rub my eyes feeling them swollen and dry. I look around and see a navy blue room with white accents. Books cluttered shelves and a desk with papers were slightly piled up which gave off a lived in feeling. I look around and see a head impression in a pillow, I immediately grab it and shove it in my face inhaling the scent. The familiar scent filled my nose; the clean sandalwood with a hint of his after shave, Tae's after shave.

"I see you're awake, good morning." I was startled and the first thing I did was throw his pillow across the room.

He looks at me with that stupid amused face I see him standing in the corridor to his bathroom. He wore nothing but a pair of black shorts and a towel hanging around his neck. His hair was wet and combed over and the remaining water on his chest glistened under the light. Seriously, a walking god. I didn't notice that I was starring when he walked over and closed my mouth with his hand. I blush looking away. Great, he definitely saw me staring.

"Enough staring Fany? I ran a bath for you in the tub, you should go in. There's towels, candles, and soap underneath the sink, I didn't know what you liked so I just left it up to you. I'll make breakfast for us, come down after you're done okay?" He says while rubbing the back of his neck with his head looking down. He's so cute Jesus Christ.

"Oh, and I don't really have clothes fit for a small 5'4 woman so I left a button down shirt for you. It might be too big but, I'm sure you'll make it fit, somehow like you did before."

I smile, and lift myself off the bed and walk towards him. I stand on my tippy toes and give a small kiss on his cheek.

This caught him off guard which was my plan, he stood there for a good minute and I could see him smiling like a goof despite seeing his back. I close the door and take off my dress and get in the bath, taking in the scent of lavender and his sandalwood body wash. I start to wonder if he cuddled me to sleep, or spooned me even. Did he even face me when I was sleeping? I reminisced about the words he said yesterday night, 'I want to fix that, fix everything that's bothering you . . . I'll take care of you . . .' I wasn't ready to hear those words yet. I really wasn't, it's still too early and I'm letting a complete stranger into my castle that I built walls for. He's a knight in shining armor that waltzed in and turned everything upright and patched holes into the broken cracks in my heart.

I dry myself off with the towel and comb my hair and pick up the button down on the counter. It was nice silky and smooth, it even smelt like him. I slipped it on and sure enough it was way too big for me, but it was enough to cover my ass and I'm sure he won't look at me anyway.

I walk down the marble stairs and the scent of bacon and eggs fill my nose. I see a tall half naked figure with a towel on his shoulder doing a little dance as he burns his hand on the scalding hot bacon. I run to him grabbing his hand and open the tap letting cold water hit his hand. He tried to pull away but then my motherly instincts of practically caring for twenty 5 year old kids kicked in and I yanked his hand back into the sink. I apply some burn cream and graze my thumb over it before giving it a small peck. "My booboo is better now." He says batting his eyelashes. I swear to god if I could push him off the cliff and roll his ass over and over again I would. That little smirk would be the death of me.

"Fany-ah, come sit and eat breakfast please." He says pulling out a chair for me before bowing and acting like a butler.

I sit down with him tucking my chair in for me, and take a spoonful of egg and eat my toast.

"It's the first time I've actually cooked for someone, you know?" Taeng plays with his fork and occasionally looked up at me.

"Well it's very good, thank you." I say patting his leg.

Lopsided grin with dimple is probably the only image that'll be engraved in my head forever now.

"Are you okay? You know after last night? My arm felt numb and it was about to fall off I swear. I brought you to sleep on the mattress when I knew you fell asleep again. Don't worry though, I didn't do anything." He asks, with his eyebrow raised.

I smile weakly and give him a nod. He places his fork down and sits closer to me. He rests his chin on his hands and stays in the position watching me eat.

"That's creepy stop. I was enjoying this nice view you have in the water front but then you came along."

"I am the nice view you should be looking at." He scowled and the sulked.

"I'm glad I'm the source for your troubles." I say proudly.

"You're also the source of my heartaches Miss Hwang." He fires back.

"You can practically have any person in the world, and yet you keep trying to see me. Why?" I say bluntly.

His eyes widen at the question, shocked at how sudden I blurted it out.

"What are we? Tell me Taeyeon."

I look into his eyes searching for answer, but it was like a repeat of what happened at my house. That night where he asked me to work for him but I wasn't able to squeak out an answer which left him hurt.

He furrows his eyebrow and leans back on the chair. "Fany, I don't want to push this on you. If you're not ready or whatever that's fine with me. It's n-"

I cut him off and ask him again. "Tae, what are we?"

Another moment of silence occurs. It's like a never ending cycle; happy one moment, blunt and sad in the next.

An audible sigh is heard in the silent room, and it echoes in the empty halls.

"We're whatever you want us to be." He says.

"Damn it Fany-ah, together. We can be that." He says touching my open palm and brushing my fingers. With a shy concentrated face, he laced his hand with mine. Squeezing it gently like he was reassuring me.