Kim Taeyeon
"Did he do it?" I asked, clenching my fist.
Heechul nodded. "Security cameras showed him walking into your office before the feed got cut. But we did get actual footage of him vandalizing your car." He threw a flash drive to me but I smacked it away.
"You're sure it was him here? Who took the picture of us in Germany then?" I played with it in my hand, feeling powerless despite having this type of data.
"Not him that's for sure, but remember the Triad organization is based in areas all over Asia. It recently got expanded to Europe and North America. He's got eyes everywhere Taeng."
"No fuck it. I'm going to find him, and I'm going to kill him."
"You're kidding, right?"
"You think I'm kidding when he trashed my fucking office? Ruined my precious car? The next thing he's going to do is hurt Stephanie, way more than he did in the past."
"Taeng, you can't go back to that life anymore. We sworn out."
"I don't care. I still have connections. I'm going to find this fucker and beat his ass."
"And for what? For a girl?"
"What do you mean for a girl? I didn't mean for her to matter so much in my fucking life but when you take a good look at her you know behind that outgoing humble, kind personality and her signature eye smile, something is not right."
"Not right?"
"Who would want to hurt someone like her? How much hatred do someone have for her to make her life a living hell? That is what pisses me off Hyung. I'm not going to stand around and act clueless because it's happening right in front of my eyes."
Heechul just shook his head. I shrugged and walked away, bidding him a goodbye.
I made up my mind and I'm going to follow through with it. Nothing can stop me.
I arrived back home, expecting a small button to greet me. But I surprisingly didn't get one.
"Stephanie? Are you home? I bought ice cream?"
"I'm not playing hide and seek with you." I frowned, thinking maybe she's just playing games with me.
"Stephanie I'm serious." I said as i cautiously walked around the house, checking each and every room before finally ending up at hers.
I knocked on it twice before turning the handle of the door. I'm praying to god she's not changing because that would be awkward.
I'm also praying that if she is indeed sleeping, she doesn't sleep naked, just because.
I peered my head in and just saw a nicely made bed.
I stepped inside and saw that her phone was on the night table. I grabbed it and noticed she missed a few texts and calls from her friends.
I tucked the phone inside my jacket and went downstairs, inspecting the coat hanger and the shoe rack.
The left hook that usually hung up a beige coat was bare. The right side of my shoe rack was missing the pretty pair of sneakers she always liked to wear instead of heels because 'heels were too extra.'
My heart thumped. My fear creeped in and adrenaline stared pumping in my veins. I felt the rush and urgency of needing to find her because if I couldn't then I failed.
He'd beat me to her and I'd be shaken to the core with the fact that I left her alone when I shouldn't have.
I quickly got into my car and drove around the neighbourhood , circling around the hills before going downtown, Central Park and practically anywhere that I could remember her saying.
My last stop was her own house. I walked in and walked out with nothing, she wasn't there. Nothing was out of the ordinary in the house. No vandalism, no random note, no Stephanie.
I got into my car but not without taking another scan at the quiet neighbourhood. I revved the engine and gripped the steering wheel tight.
Cursing myself for not being able to find her, kicking myself for not knowing a lot about her. She could have had any little place she'd like to go to but I wouldn't know; she never told me.
Driving up to my house I was about to call the cops. I can't do this alone, i have no power.
The figure in the dark walking up on the sidewalk to my gated entrances made me drive up next to it and stop.
I opened the car door and she stood there, looking at me nervously.
"Get. In. The. Fucking. Car." I growled out. She quickly complied, not even putting a fight with me or saying a peep.
She looked down as I slammed the door shut. I shuffled and grabbed her by the arm roughly wanting her to pay attention to me and only me.
"Where the fuck were you? Why would you leave without leaving a note, taking your phone or at least telling me?! Do you know how worried I was?!" I shout and I felt like the glasses in my cupboard shook. My voice was straining at this point.
"I'm sorry."
I brushes my hair back out of frustration and turned around with anger. Sorry is just the word both of us know how to say. I've heard it so many times between us and I'm so tired of it.
"You're sorry? Do you understand how fucking scared I was for you? He could've been out there, you could've been in harms and I wouldn't be able to see you ever again if he found you! Do you realize what he's fucking capable of?!" I slammed my fist down on the hall table and she winced at the sound.
"I'm sorry." She whispers clutching her hand tightly.
"Where did you even go! Why did you leave the house?!" I shouted at her again, only for her to sink in my sight and flinch at my voice.
"I-I went to the store to buy you a handkerchief." She said so softly.
"Yo-You what?" I questioned.
"You have sectioned drawer of handkerchiefs, you know that collection? There's one spot that is missing and it's supposed to be a shade of blue. That is the one you gave me. I wanted to give you something back for letting me keep it so I went out and bought one for you." She reached into a black paper bag and opened the box, handing me a silky satin cloth.
"I was going to hand sew in your name. I didn't mean to make you worried and run around town looking for me." She says, extending her hand with the cloth urging me to take it.
I misunderstood her. Well shit, huh.
How did she know about my drawer full of handkerchiefs? It was a precious family heirloom that in every generation that it is passed down to, the recipient adds their own cloth with their name etched in the corner.
I gave away mine to her without even batting an eye. I just did it.
She gently smiles and gives it to me. I felt like a dick. Why am I such a donkey.
"Uh. So. Just, disregard everything I just said to you and pretend I asked you if penguins could fly, or why oranges smell like oranges." I stuttered.
"It's okay, I know why you'd be upset. I was just wondering, when can I go back home?"
"Uh. Not untill some time." I nervously said.
"I'm going to be staying at a friends house then."
"No, you're going to stay here."
"I don't want to be a bother to you Taeng, you've done enough."
"Will you just listen to me for once? stay with me, I have 7 bedrooms I don't use. My house is big enough for at least 367 dogs to live in. Also, this just got personal, between me and him. Did you forget who's office and car got wrecked?"
"Right." She sighed.
"I need to go out in a few minutes, so if you're going to leave the premises please call or at least say something?"
"Okay." I watched her as she turned around and went into the living room. That small tiny back, her little skip when she walked. How is she 26 is beyond me.
I held the cloth in my hand a little tighter before going upstairs and placing it beside my bedside, not wanting to lose it. Or stain it.
I waited till it was late enough to lurk in the dark without getting caught. Causing trouble is best done at night, not during the day where you're exposed by the daytime. Trust me, I would know.
I opened the door and went inside, wiping my shoes on the mat before shutting the door behind me but leaving it unlocked.
I dragged a chair in the middle of the living room, making it slant away from the windows. I turned on a table lamp and drew back all the curtains.
Then I played the waiting game. I sat on that chair with one light on in the middle of the night.
I played with the blade in my hand, flicking it as I held it between my thumb and forefinger. Growing tired of waiting for the damned Nick to show up.
When I heard the lock of the door turn, followed by the creak of the door, my body was riled up.
"Tiffany, honey. I'm home." He cooed. I heard that little chuckle and the end and I gripped the blade tighter in my hand.
Footsteps echoed in the halls and when the door shut I stood up and leaned against a wall next to the doorway.
"Don't be shy, I just want to take you home." He taunted. Heavy footsteps approached me slowly and it grew louder and louder the closer he got.
When he stepped foot into the kitchen area, I grabbed him by the neck and put him in a headlock, stuffing a dish towel in his mouth.
He struggled and thrashed in my hold, using his hands to yank at my one arm that was restricting his air ways. He tugged and tugged exhaling with such force that bits of spit was spewing out everywhere.
His legs became loose and when he had kicked my shin rather harshly as a last attempt to escape, I tightened my grip on him further. He wheezed, panted and choked.
I wouldn't say I was enjoying what I was doing but I didn't care. Everything was once again muddled.
All I thought about was how scared she could've been.
I elbowed his temple and that seemed to get him to be disorientated because I shoved him in the chair and strapped him in with rope as his head bobbed lifelessly.
"Do you even have any idea who I fucking am?" He spat out breathless.
I didn't answer. I didn't have to know. I didn't want to know.
"You're dead, you hear me? You're fucking dead!" He hollered. I punched him in the face to get him to shut up. I didn't know how angry I was but when my fist made contact with his nose, it crunched. Blood started to flow like a fountain and he grunted.
"I'm here to make your life a living hell." I said as nicely as I could but you can't really make that sound nice.
"Do you have any idea, who I am? Nichkhun?" I asked patting his cheek harshly. The blade in my hand scratching the chair. His eyes doubled in size, he started rattling in his chair.
"How do you know? How the fuck do you know!" I chuckled as he looked at me in fear.
"You shouldn't talk to your superior like that Nicky." I said, giving him another blow in the face.
"Superior?" He questions, his fear doubled. I unsheathed my blade from its cover and let it twinkle in his eyes. I brought it closer and closer till I pressed it against his neck. He leaned back, trying to get away from it but it was impossible.
"I used to be your boss. You wouldn't know because you're an irrelevanet little shit. A nobody." I growled, pressing the knife against his neck till droplets of blood stained the blade.
"How can a nobody have the guts to terroize a lonely bachelor like me? Trashing my office, ruining my car. Who did you send to Germany? Who took the fucking photo?"
"It was Siwon! It was Siwon!" Ah, Choi Siwon. Who would've known, with his english skills he was stationed in Germany. Then again I left 4 years ago, I knew nothing about the organization anymore. I left the life in the past, opting out to live a quiet life.
"Huh, you're a snitch. I guess a lowlife like you would resort to the 18K hm? Drug trafficking, loan sharking. What else have you done?" I saw him take the largest gulp. This wasn't anything out of the ordinary. I used to take on bigger jobs, threaten bigger clients. This was just a mere petty act I had to do because this fuck of a guy happened to mess with me.
"Beat your girlfriend?" He shook his head and I lost it. Fucking liar. How low can he get. I angled his face downwards making him look at his lap as I took his hands and snapped them back, hearing it crunch and his throats scream in agony.
"Fuck!" He hissed, kicking the ground.
"Your hands will never touch her again." I said with a pretty smile.
I felt my lips form a crazy grin and before I knew it I kicked his chair over and was swinging at him constantly, not letting him take a gasp of air as I hit him repeatedly in the face with my fist. He cupped his face, trying to cover the blows on it as I let my knuckles smash right into his face.
The blood kept splattering and run across his face, he looked like a ketchup packet gone wrong.
Anything he said I couldn't hear it. I tuned it out again, like I always do.
His head lolled to the side and who knows maybe I did beat him enough to kill him.
I propped his chair back up again and I swung the wrench behind and let it hit his hand. I could hear the bones just crack break and probabalt disentigrate as the steel head of the wrench made contact with his hand.
"Fuck! Stop!" He screamed. I punched him in the mouth and his tooth chipped, enough to cut my knuckle but my punch was enough to make his mouth bleed.
I swung the wrench again and this time I aimed for his knee cap. I felt in bliss crippling the guy who hurt someone so gentle and kind, so humble and selfless.
His leg dislocate and became displaced when the wrench landed on his leg. "Mm fuck you!" He grunts, clawing at the chairs side.
"Your legs will no longer be able to carry your shit self to see her, your legs will never be able to lay a foot on her." I let out a laughter, a laugh that seemed too empty because I just wanted to go home to see her. But I knew nothing would be right as long as he lived.
"Did you know, your eye is made up of fats and lipids which is basically a shock abosorber. So, when you take blows from soemthing, or from me your eyeball is protected to a certain extent, it just goes squish." I said with a crooked smile.
"Besides my sutdies in business, my minor was in biochemistry." He gave me the most confused look and I just laughed in his face.
"You're fucking crazy!" He wailed, terrified of little cute me.
"Ready for an ass beating?" He shook his head, shaking in his seat as he tried to slide his chair away from me with his foot. I just laughed, and laughed, and laughed and laughed.
"I'm going to make you my bitch tonight Nicky, you're going to wish you never touched Steph, you're going to regret messing with me. I'm going to torture you like you did to her." I whispered in his ear before landing a blow to his eye socket.
I whistled on the way back home. If anything, there was a little pep in my walk. I unlocked the door and my little piglet came out with small steps, smiling as she awkwardly waved at me.
"Hello."
"Hi Tae. Where'd you go?"
"Out. Did you just come back now?" I say, obersving that she was still in not-so-comfy clothes.
"Yeah I went in for the job interview, I'm going to be part time though."
"That's good. You get to be with mini drunk humans again." I joked.
"Only for 3 days of the week, the other two are with their other teacher. I swear, everyones getting pregnant these days because thats the reason why she's off so many days." She frowned, I'd frown too. All my friends are getting married, having kids and saying how great their lives were. Meanwhile, I like to stay at home, make cereal and watch cartoons.
But in my mind as she kept talking all I was seeing was little tiny bodies with my face on them as Stephanie was chasing those little humans around. Babies, yes. Specfically, mini mes. Kiddy's with her.
Why am I even fantasizing kids with her. We're not even married yet. I didn't even offically ask her out yet.
I pulled her into my hug suddenly startling her. But I patted her back gently, just wanting to hug her for awhile. Her hand crept to my side and went under my suit jacket to caress my back. She stepped back and looked at her hand and looked at me.
"W-Why are, why are you bleeding? Why are- Tae." She gasped and backed away.
"Wh-Where did you go Tae?" She uttered, looking at her slightly bloody hands.
She's a smart girl I told myself. She'll figure it out sooner or later.
"D-Did you hurt someone? Did you kill someone?" She said almsot inaudibly. I shook my head feriously. Oh god no, I didn't. I didn't kill anyone. I can't anymore, even if I wanted to. I can't.
"I'll tell you, when it's the right time. But I promise you, it's not alarming." I took her hand in mind and wiped it on my shirt. She was hesitent to hug me but I took initiation and wrapped her around me.
"You're mine." I say, pulling her away from my chest to cup her face. "You're mine." I repeated.
I trace her bottom lip with my thumb and lean in to give her a full kiss. I pull away and she looked up at me with big she glossy eyes and smiled those beautiful crescent shapes.
"Taetae." She whispered, and at that moment I waited for her to say something. Then I felt a little brush, a movement against my chest and I sighed in relief. knowing that her lips curved up into a shy smile that I felt.
I took her around my property, leading her to the shoreline behind my house. We kick off our shoes and we take a stroll along the beach.
"Can I hold your hand?" I asked.
She laughed so hard, taking her hand into mine before calling me a 'stupid bear.' She hid her blushing face into my shoulder and I didn't know what was so funny.
"Well this is romantic." She said kicking up some water that splashed my pants.
I shot a look at her, and she runs way from me giggling.
"Oi, comeback." I run after her trying to catch her as she mischievously tried to get away.
"Omo! Taeng put me down!" She shrieks as I catch her and lift her up into the air.
I put her down on her feet as she fixes her dress. I help her brush her hair back into place and stealthy sneak in little glances of her beautiful slim petite face.
"I don't appreciate the 10 minute stares you give me. Drooling perv." She says, pushing me along my shoulder.
I unconsciously reach up to my mouth to wipe away any salvia, but to find out I didn't have any falling out of my mouth.
"Gotcha." She says with a wink.
"Hey, you're calling me the creep? Have you seen yourself? I know you've been checking me out when I didn't have my shirt on. I know you like it." I say pulling off a smug look. She deadpanned and blinked.
I proceed to unbutton my shirt as slowly and sexily I could; like the hot walking Satan I am. Her eyes popped out of her sockets and she looked away. I roll my sleeves up before taking her hand into mine and planting a kiss on her cheek.
She tiptoes on her feet and wraps her arms around my neck as she also responds back with a kiss on my cheek."You're an ass you know." She says snuggling into my neck. "What's new?" I say as she chuckles to my response.I pick her up again and let her legs wrap around my waist as I walk into the secluded area I intended to show her.
Along the shoreline, if you kept walking north you would reach a heavily vegetated area that had a path etched out of stones on the ground that lead to an enclosed river with a mini waterfall.
I hear her gasp and her breath hitched as I continue to piggy back her to my special place.
"It's beautiful Taetae, I wouldn't have guessed this existed if you hadn't brought me here." She jumps off my back and runs into the water; dress and all.
"It's my secret hideout, I like to come out here to get away from the media or the office." I take off my shirt and dive right into the water with her. Immediately she wraps her arms around my neck again and we listen to the calming sounds of a rushing waterfall and look up to a dreamy cocktail of a blue, red and orange sky that was painted above us.
"I've never brought anyone here before." I say letting her hold on to me like a koala as we float in the water.
"Such a sweet talker Taebear." She giggles.
"Taebear? Where did that come from?"' I ask raising an eyebrow.
She reaches up and starts to rub my frown down. "Stop doing that, if you keep it up soon you'll have old ugly wrinkly creases permanently stuck there. Like the chef guy, Gordon Ramsey or whatever." I smile at her doing.
She smiles back and leans on my shoulder."You're like a big squishy warm cuddly bear, and plus Tae's a hard name to come up with a nickname for."
Taebear? Jesus Christ, that nickname is so cheesy and cringe.
"Then can I call you, Miyoung? Tippachan? Tippani? Patini? Pany? Puppy Hwang? Fany? Piggy? Pink Piggy? Pink Piggy that eats a shit ton?"
I've never felt my ear being twisted that hard in my life. I have regrets, major regrets.
Step 1: Never call her Piggy or Miyoung.
Step 2: Never call her Pink Piggy that eats a shit ton. (Unless you want to die.)
Step 3: Angry Steph is no bueno.
Both of us splash in the water admiring the extreme beauty of the environment. If you listened carefully, you click hear the splashing of water on rocks that made a slight melody as it harmonized with the wind surging through leaves and branches around us. It was a beautiful calming sound that let me vent, relax, and escape from reality; much like how Steph was. Instead, she was a walking version of this that created a purpose for me to live.
She was in a way my stress reliever and helped me relax. She let me escape from reality and focus my attention on the important things in life, like her. She hasn't know this yet but with time I want to show her how much she already meant to me despite knowing her for a short period of time.
"You know. . I've never been serious before. Like, with a pretty girl like you."
"Wo- I don't even know what to say. Can we make up some rules before I actually date you? Like you need to stop those horrible pick up lines." She rolls her eyes.
"Hehe. I'm serious." I give a cheeky grin.
"I don't take you as the romantic type Tae"
We both chuckle and hold hands. "I'm not, but if it makes you fall in love with a Prince Charming then I'll sacrifice my dignity and man points for it. I'll charm your pretty little head off."
"Man points." Stephanie repeats while gesturing air quotation marks.
"You're hurting my pride Fany-ah."
"What pride? You mean your non existent one?"
"So mean. What's with the sass? Sassy Stephanie." I huffed.
"You're easy to tease Taeyeon-ah." She pinches my cheeks and clings closer to my arm.
I pull her away from the little river and hand her my button down I carelessly threw on the ground before. We were both soaking wet looking up at the sun set. She stands on her toes and combs my wet hair to the side and I do the same, admiring her under the newly lit sky. I help her slip on the shirt and stand back to admire the small goddess.
With every button I did for her I looked at her and she was blushing and so shy. I found it adorable but I could feel myself getting a little shy too. When I was done she touched my hand softly with her and held it in her grasp gently.
The walk back to the house was silent, but content. A silence where both of us don't need words to say how we feel, just expressions to explain our thoughts. We walked hand in hand slowly, as I was trying to savour every moment with her. Steph's petite hands fit in mine like a puzzle. It felt like home. Every once in a while I'd look down and graze her hand with my thumb. I noticed the ring on her finger was gone. She always played with it when she's anxious and I want her to stop it. If that ring had any significant ties to her ex, then I'd break it in a fucking heartbeat and replace it with a ring of my own; claiming her mine.
When she started to hold my arm tightly and whimper, I immediately got concerned.
"What's wrong? You okay?"
"Taetae, I think I stepped on something sharp." She whispers and it was so cute she looked so vulnerable.
I carry her on my back quickly and rest her above the wooden boardwalk before disappearing into the house and coming back with a first aid kit. I step down a few steps into the stand and she looks like a queen perched on a wooden board looking down at me with her arms rested on the wooden railing. Her feet were swinging and dangling off the board and she looked so cute. But the red drips of blood on the sand caught my attention.
"You cut your foot, it's bleeding Fany-ah."
She nods meekly and I gently grab her foot and clean it with alcohol. She winces at the pain and tries to pull back but I patted her leg and smiled at her.
"If you keep pulling back I have no choice but to shove this in your cut and leave it there." She poked me with her foot and I'll take it as a protest.
She bit her bottom lip as I wrapped gauze on her foot, when I looked back up she looked at me softly her eyes were glossy and she looked like she was going to cry.
"Hey, it's okay. It'll be alright it's just a small cut. Never mind, I lied its a little deep but it will heal." She chortles and I stretch my arms out for her to jump into my arms.
She hesitates at first but I jokingly yanked at her legs and she yelled and screamed holding onto the railing for dear life.
"Taeyeon-ah! Don't don't do that!" She scolds me and throws a piece of dead wood at my head. I had to dodge that or I'm sure it would've left splinters in my face.
It took another 15 minutes of coaxing and promises of food till I got her to take a risk and jump. It wasn't even that high of a jump but when she did her arm accidently smacked my forehead, sending me into a daze. I brought her over to the sand and nestled her onto the rock.
"What are you going to do Taetae? Serenade me? Dance for me?"
I smirk and start to awkwardly shuffle along the sand. She bursts out laughing and I wanted to hear it again so I dance like a white dad would at a bbq party.
She giggled and covers her eyes only seeing me through her fingers. I've never seen such a lovely smile before. When I first met her, I've never seen anything so perfect.
I tired myself out doing random dances before sitting beside her looking at the sunset.
"Cute, Taetae." She wraps her arms around my bicep and leans against my shoulder.
"Wait, I got one more trick up my sleeve." She looks at me with a cocked brow and I move into the damper sand. I dig up the wet grains and sculpt it with my hands, she was a few feet away from me and I saw her eyeing me from the corner of my eye. I continued shaping the figure before picking up a few sticks off the ground to add to my masterpiece.
I carry her on my back and bring her to the art piece.
"Ta-da, it's you. Piggy."
She chuckles into my shoulder when she saw my sand portrait of a pig. She smacked the back of my head and I tighten my hold on her.
"You're so weird, it's almost embarassing."
I smiled shaking my head and she kisses the back of my ear and rests her head beside me. Every now and then I'd kiss her cheek as it was so conveniently close to me.
I walked back up the hill and onto the trail being mindful of her injured foot. She hummed a cute tone as I made my way back to the house.
"Stay?" I abruptly blurt out breaking the silence.
She hums a barely audible 'mhm' and I hold her hand tighter.
We approach the house and she squeals, getting off my back and runs away from me.
"Wait what? What's wrong? Do I smell bad?" I lift my arms up to get a whiff of myself. Eh, the body odour wasn't too bad.
"Omo, Tae, Tae, Tae, there's a bug on your shoulder kill it!" She shrieks and runs farther from me.
"Aye, your footsies is fragile! Be careful!" I shouted at the mini Olympic sprinter.
I crane my neck to my right shoulder and see a cockroach like creature on my shoulder. Jesus fucking Christ how dare they rest upon a gods shoulder without permission. I flick the insect off and pretend to pick it up. Instead I pick up a dark small stone and start to make my way to Steph, who is watching from a far.
She screams and darts for the door, struggling to open it. I give her my best satanic laugh and chase her around the backyard with the pebble. Her shrieks were literally deafening. She stands behind the bbq and I circle around it.
"Taeng I swear to god stop."
We continue to run around the pool as she screams some more.
"I hate you so much!"
Now this, is the entertainment I'd pay to see.
"Tae I'll start crying leave me alone." She whines as she runs behind the garage.
I go counterclockwise and sneak up behind her and tap her shoulder.
"Oh my god!"
The best part was when I threw the small pebble at her and she gave me a little dance show, screaming and hopping around shaking her dress.
I'm pretty sure I've lost like 70% of my hearing after I was done.
I couldn't stop laughing, it was at that point where I'm holding onto the garage wall propping myself up on the wall as I struggle to regain my breath.
"Ow ow ow ow, mercy mercy mercy!"
Why do small girls hurt the most? The twist on my ear was enough to make me piss my pants.
"I hate you. I hate you. I hate you." She says dragging me into the house.
"Don't lie to yourself, you like this hot piece of God." I say following her with my head tilted to lessen the force on my ear.
She twists it even harder. "You have the nerve to say that after you did that to me? I hate bugs so much."
It's going to bruise, someone send help my ear.
"Aight aight, m'am please lessen the ever growing force on my ear, I'll make it up to you." I say cupping the hand on my ear.
She drags me upstairs and grabs a pillow and blanket before plopping it on the floor and gesturing a finger to it.
"Tonight you sleep on the ground."
"But this is my house! I live here!"
She shrugs and turns away from me.
"I invited you to stay the night! Fany-ah!" I whined. She huffs and leaves me alone to my tantrum.
Well shit, I just ruined all my chances to finally wrap my arms around her and cuddle. I didn't even protest after she declared my habitat for the night. All men like to cuddle, it's a fact. Even the manliest man on earth likes to cuddle. Spooning is a definite must too, but there goes my chances.
That night where I carried her sleeping body into my room after she cried her eyes out, I laid her down my bed and didn't even dare touch her after that. I left her on the left side of my bed with her face turned to me. All night I just stared at her sleeping face, looking at the expressions made as she slept. She slept without peace and whimpered every hour or started to move her arms, and ultimately grabbed for my hand. I held it tight for the rest of the night and she relaxed immediately. But I kept my distance anyways, not wanting to do something I'd regret later. But to me, not being able to touch her the way a lover does was torture.
I snap out of my thoughts when I hear soft padded foot steps echo into the corridor of my bathroom. She slips out of my shirt and let's it slowly drop on the floor. She glances back at me and shoots a wink at me as she steps into the bathroom and the automatic doors close.
God damn tease.
I lay on the floor day dreaming about her as she takes her shower.
I start laughing for no reason, loving the fact that she's mine. When the door clicked I lifted my heavy head up, doing a mini sit up.
Freshly out of the shower was a small nugget who crawled in my bed and looked down upon me like she had the world in her hands. She turns her body to face me and giggles at the sight of me on the floor with my knees up to my chest.
"Yo, this floor ain't comfortable homie. Help a brother out man."
"You deserve it." She says with a huff and turns the other way.
"I can't believe I'm going to sleep on the floor because you told me so."
"You signed up for this, so deal with it Mr. Kim."
"Stepanni." I whine and call out for her.
I sit up and stare at her back for a solid 10 minutes when I began to hear her calm, shallow breathing. She fell asleep just like that, wow. I want to grab her right now and hold her in between my chest and under my chin, tucking her in. But I couldn't do that. I lay back down letting my back hit the cold hardwood floor. Haven't even been dating for a day yet and I'm already being scolded and punished.
But we all know I'm not going to be sleeping on the floor when the sun rises. Taeng's not going to let this moment pass up for even just a second.
I couldn't sleep as I shuffled my sheets everywhere and turned my body in every position possible. I heard a small sigh and a whimper that caught my attention. Is she having a nightmare? I immediately shot up and sat on the edge of the bed hovering my hand over her shoulder. Her body jerks, and she begins to feel the empty space beside her. "No. . please." She mumbles incoherent words and I couldn't take it anymore.
"I didn't mean to . . "
"Don't hurt . . please" She continues stopping mid sentences.
"Fany-ah." I call out.
"I'm sorry . . don't leave me." She whispers.
"Steph, wake up you're having a bad dream." I reach over to her and slowly shake her.
She whimpers and her eyes shot wide open, her body trembling and there was cold sweat. Tears immediately filled her eyes and she unexpectedly crawled to my lap and straddled my hips. I bring her head closer to me and soothe her.
"It's okay, I'm here."
She cries silently while gripping my shirt.
"Shh, shh baby, no ones going to hurt you it was just a bad dream."
"He hit me Taeyeon-ah, he hit me." She said sniffling as she hooked her hand onto my ear. Her body shook violently as she cried hard onto my shoulder.
I sighed. If it's who I think it is.
I rub her back as she continues to rub my ear. "Who hit you? Fany-ah tell me. Was it in your dream? Or . . "
She wrapped her arms around my neck and started to calm down.
"Him, Nick." She said quietly tightening her hold on me.
My eyes shot wide open. With him gone, the memories still last. I can't do anything about that.
"Nick, that ex. That same one who left you for another woman. The one who did all those things to you right?" I clench my fists suppressing my anger as to not scare Steph. The thought of him hitting Steph; or any girl in that matter made my blood boil.
She nods her head slightly and rests her head on my shoulder.
"I'll never do that to you." I say laying both of us down in the bed. I grab the blanket and cover our bodies. She snuggles up to me like a magnet and lays her head on my shoulder.
"He hit me when ever I left the house, or talked to another man besides him. He rarely let me out of the house and if he did, he would track my every move. I felt like I was in prison, being held captive. Sometimes he comes home drunk and takes his anger out on me." She mumbles quietly but loud enough that I could hear.
I can feel my hand starting to twitch as she continues.
"I don't know why I still thought of him when he left me for another woman. I thought about him everyday, and asked myself what was wrong with me? Why did he leave me? I thought he loved me."
"He's still out there looking for his revenge, and I'm like a sitting duck. He's going to come for me Taeng." Oh, so little does she know.
I feel a little bit of myself die on the inside. I clutch her hand bring it to my lips and give it a tender kiss. She must've been hurting so bad. How can she still love that man after he beat her, and left her. She doesn't know the emotion love anymore, and all her trust diminished when she was with him.I'm no longer angry. Sadness just takes over my body and rises through every vein and cell.
"Does this happen every night? I mean you having nightmares?"
She doesn't speak but runs her fingers through my hand.
"How long have you been like this? Why haven't you said anything?"
The sound of ocean waves crashing on the shoreline is repeated over and over again.
"Please don't go, I need you. Just for today please Tae." She pleads giving my shoulder a tight squeeze.
"I won't, I'll be here when you wake up. I promise." I cradled her to sleep while smoothing the messy fringe in front of her blood shot eyes and tucking her underneath my chin letting her rub my ear.
The sound of a rhythmic calm breathing surrounded the bedroom, and I knew she was fast asleep. I never moved from my position, afraid that I'd wake the sleeping girl on top of me. She would occasionally mumble some words, and hit my chest lightly which caused my heart to crumble even more.
The days spent with her have been like a roller coaster. Up and down, up and down. Feelings were sprawled everywhere and there were many times that she just broke down crying. I want to get past this 'little bump' and go on to the happier side of things.
In a matter of a day or so, she opened up to me about the most critical points of why her smile is broken, and her eyes seemed distraught. I didn't expect the smiley, bright bubbly girl to be so damaged. Now that I think about it, some of her glances did show signs of being crippled and afraid. When she pulled away from my advances, it wasn't because she didn't have the same feelings for me. It was because of what had happened to her. she could no longer trust or love the same way again. She's just afraid, and I'm going to be the one to build her crumbling walls back into pristine condition and make her smile.
Never stop smiling Fany-ah, never.