Stephanie Hwang

He came into the room, taking off his suit jacket before unbuttons his shirt and cufflinks. He took of his watch and walked over to his nightstand, gently placing it on top before putting his phone beside it.

He did all that with a big sigh and I poked him in the butt.

"Hi. I missed you. The naked men downstairs in the lobby didn't entertain me enough."

He scoffs and kisses me on the cheek, going into the shower without saying another word.

"Wanna come upstairs?" He asked, still drying his hair with a towel.

"There's an upstairs?" I gesture for the big guy to sit down. He crossed his legs as he sit on the floor. I sat on the edge of the bed and dried his head for him.

"Yeah it's something called a roof." He retorted. I rolled my eyes, still amused by smart ass Taeng.

"Oh shut up Kim." I hissed, and followed him up the hidden path of stairs right beside the entrance, walking up to some secret hidden door.

I clung onto Tae, trying to catch the glimpse of warmth as the cool Las Vegas summer breeze swept my body.

"Did you bring a bag of chips with you?"

"Of course." I said, opening the bag and offering him some. He shook his head, probably baffled by how much I love my snacks.

On the roof was a complete patio set. Chairs, tables and one of those umbrella thingies. There was even a bed in the middle of the roof.

I skipped my way there, taking off my slippers and removing the plastic cover on it. I jumped on the bed as I watched Tae slowly but surely make his way to me.

"Slow ass."

"Shut the fuck up Hwang." He took off his bear slippers that I thought were uberly adorable and pushed me off the bed, making me land on the floor.

"Yah! What the hell Taeng!"

"You were in my spot." He said with a shrug, wow. What a gentlemen.

I crawled back on the bed and swung my bag of chips on him, not caring if some of it spilled out and landed on his face.

"You smell like cheese."

"Wow, no shit piggy. I wonder who threw a bag of Doritos at me."

"You kicked me off the bed, don't think I won't come after your scrawny ass Taetae."

"Who the hell you callin' scrawny?" He said poking me on the head as I squirm on his chest.

He propped himself up and made a pile of pillows so he can lean back to. I just laid on his chest as he kept doing that, watching the bright lights and admiring the city that never sleeps. I loved it, I loved how lively and alive the city was. It was fresh, when I looked outside my house it was just a neighborhood full of houses. I go to Taeng's house and I see downtown, but there's not like it when you've wrapped around yourself someone and eyeing silently the flickering 24/7 lights.

I kept pulling on his shirt for no reason, I just did it just cause."How was your business thingy."

He grunted and his hand caressed my side before patting my back soothingly.

"Didn't turn out, huh?" He shook his head and sighed.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Hm, I couldn't get a project approved by some of my colleagues. They didn't like it, said it was too risky and they didn't want to fund or take any chances on it."

I was already zoning out the moment he said project. I can't do business related topics, they bore me.

"Wanna play 20 questions." He asked, and I started reminiscing the first time I met him and when he asked the same question.

"Again?"

"Yeah. I want to know."

"Okay, shoot Kim."

"How was your childhood?"

"It wasn't anything special."

"Well, what did tiny energetic baby Fany like to do?"

"I liked to dance." He bursted out laughing and I heard all the rumbles of his laughter in his chest. I frowned and smacked his side, wanting him to stop.

"Ballet, I liked to do ballet."

"Is it because you got to wear little pink tutu's and ballet slippers? You got to dress up like an elegant princess."

"Yup." He started chuckling again and when I smacked his smug face he tried to hide his sniggers.

"But I had my siblings to play with, you know. Michelle was always mean to me but I guess if you're the older sister it kind of makes sense. She always grounds me but I know it's for my own good I guess."

"And Leo?" He asked with an amused face, playing with my hand that kind of got me distracted.

"Leo was a dinky rat. He always bullied me, just like how you bully me."

He groaned and kissed the top of my head. "Oh come on, it can't be that bad. Can it?"

"It's pretty bad, sometimes I think of plans on how to leave you." He gave off a straight face and literally stared at me with a serious glare.

"I'm just joking, stop being a pussy." I teased.

"Not funny, but nonetheless go on."

"Um, I liked to sing. There was this one time I got selected from an entertainment company to audition in Korea. I was so stoked. I swear I could've been famous Taetae."

"Well, how did it go?"

"I told Daddy about it and he said no. He didn't like the idea of me being a singer or to be so far away from the family. I begged him and ignored him for like a week when he didn't change his mind. Being the youngest he always had a soft spot for me, but it also makes him like overly protective. At least Leo was supportive about it."

"I can imagine a very pissed off angry HellFany to be honest. I gotta say, your family's a trooper for putting up with someone like you." I slapped his arm and got off his chest, laying on my side so that our shoulders just touched as we looked at the sky.

"Yah, stop hitting me. I'm just joking. But it's true, on the outside you're like a fluffy jellybean who's so nicey and cutesy and eyesmiley, but then when you get mad oh my god. You're scary when you're mad." He said, poking my ribs with a shy finger. "Your eyesmiles are deadly."

"Whatever, Daddy had to deal with an angry Stephi so."

"What about your mother?" I tensed he mentioned my mother. I dreaded the day he asked about her. I didn't want the day to come where I told him about her.

"She didn't get a say, she passed when I was younger." He stopped rubbing my back for a second and then resumed, muttering an 'oh.'

"I miss her." I softly said.

"Oh Stephanie." He mumbled and pulled me into his arms.

"She left too fast. I-I didn't get to show her the invitation I got to audition at the agency. I didn't see her at my graduation. I didn't get to do a lot of things before she left."

"But you go to do a lot of things with your dad right? Were you happy at least?" He asked with a frown etched onto his face.

"I wasn't happy that I didn't get to pursue my dream of being a national singer. But, being with Daddy and my sister and brother was enough. They helped me a lot since I was the youngest."

"But Michelle was there, even though she's my sister and I sometimes hated her for making me stay in and do homework, ground me when I did bad things. She was there." The lingering feeling of my mom was still there. It's here with me right now.

"Ah, the older sister eh? Jiwoong and I always got along we never really had someone who was in charge. Honestly, I think it was always me in charge because I'm kind of an ass." I smiled, still remembering the days of me and Michelle having petty fights all because I took it hard that mom was gone.

"Kid Leader Taengo." I muttered.

"I was the one people followed back in school, I was like the boss." He said with such confidence that oozed with charm.

"Well you are now. You're also still kind of an ass." I jabbed back at him with an insult. I'm never going to stop teasing him and he won't stop either.

"Fany-ah. It's hard isn't it?" He sat straight up, crossing his legs to face me.

"What is?" I got up and did the same, tugging on his fingers.

"Your mother?" I nodded.

"Fany-ah, I know it sucks. But look at you now, wouldn't she be proud of you? For staying here, taking care of your father, being with your siblings? You grew up to be such a smart beautiful young lady who has the urge to teach a bunch of mini drunk offsprings that are pretty much the spawn of devils." I smiled at his attempt to lift up the sad mood.

"I didn't get to do what I liked the most. Teaching is second to my dreams Taeng."

"Then what's stopping you? Either way your mothers up there watching over you. She's seen you cry, laugh, tease me, bully me. She's been there for you through all of it. She is there."

I don't know what's stopping me.

"It's just, she's not physically here. I know she's there looking after me but it's not the same."

"Then I'll be here for you then." Sigh, not the same Taeng.

"Taetae."

"No, no. I will be. Like I promise." He said his eyes twinkling like he was some cartoon. He touched my thigh and lifted his pinky finger up, waiting for me.

"Promise?" I asked, lifting my hand up.

"Promise." He said, hooking our fingers together like we've sworn to be each others best friends.

We went back into the hotel room and ordered food. I didn't know what to order so I played it safe and got chicken strips and fries. He scolded me saying how i got such a cheap meal when we're in like a 5 star hotel.

Meanwhile, he ordered a smorgasbord of caviar, fresh salmon, truffles and all that jazz. I didn't eat any of it, opting to just eat nuggets because nuggets are life.

"Question, why do you always eat like an ape?"

"Hungry."

I slept later after we ate, passed out from a food coma. No regrets.

I woke up to a few pokes on my arm followed by a kiss.

"Go away."

"Let's go for a car ride?" He whispered softly beside my ear. It was like heaven really, but my body was telling me sleep.

"Later."

"Now, come on. I'm a good, safe driver. I promise"

"Why, we can take a drive later." He tugged at my arm and lifted me up, carrying me on his back as he slipped shoes on for me. I tightened my arms around his neck and stuck my head into his neck wanting to sleep some more.

He placed me down in the car seat and reclined it back. I smiled drowsily at him.

He starts laughing uncontrollably and knowing him he's probably laughing at me.

"Stop laughing!" I whined.

"You look like a baby hippo, weigh like one too." My jaw dropped when he said that.

"Excuse me?!" I am so highly offended.

"Okay sorry bad example. You're a baby rhinoceros." I frowned and flicked his forehead.

"You're not very good at this Kim Taeyeon."

"Elephant?" I was so close to ripping his head off.

"Fine. Baby piglet." I kicked his shin. "That's it you're dead Kim!"

"Yah." He scolded me, rubbing his shins and smiled. I was about to wipe that stupid smile off his face before he pulled something out of his back. My eyes darted at his hands, my heart pumped at the sight of my monkey George.

"Why do you bring him literally everywhere?" I said, reaching out for my stuffed animal.

"Because it coaxes you to be with me. You don't seem to get angry at me when the little guy's around. I love that fluffy thing of plush."

"You're just using him."

"It works." He says buckling my seatbelt for me. He wasn't wrong. My anger towards this teasing blub was gone.

For an hour I looked outside staring at the lights passing by, listening to his hums as I had no idea where we were going.

I got out of the car and followed him as he sat on the edge of the cliff, patting the edge beside him.

"That's not safe."

"Oh come on, I'll catch you if you fall."

"Not if I tumble down and die first."

"Not on my watch." He says, extending his hand and I took it. Trusting him completely.

"I like the view. That's the only reason why we're here."

"I thought you brought me here to serenade me, recite a poem."

"Do you want that? I'll sing you a song, say a few lines from Shakespeare. Oh Juliet, Juliet, let down your long hair."

"You got that completely wrong."

"Well I tried." He shrugs and I bursted out laughing. Loving this silly dork.

I crawled into his lap as he leaned back onto his arms. I leaned back as well, feeling so snug up against his front.

He's my personal lawn chair.

"How many stars are up there?" I suddenly asked, noticing how the white dots in the sky started to twinkle.

"More than one." I smiled at his smart ass reply, he wasn't wrong.

"Dumbass." I quipped. He scoffed and wrapped his arms around my stomach, resting his chin on my head.

"How about endless? Like my love for you." My eyes widened. Love, love? For me? My heart thumped wilder and I hoped my ears deceived me.

"Wait what?" I asked quietly, turning around to face him.

"What?" He asked curiously, turning his head slightly.

"What did you say?" I ask sitting up more straight. My hand went to reach out for his shirt, clutching it desperate to hear it.

Please don't play with my feelings.

"The dots in the sky you were looking at, you asked me how many were there. Correct?" I nodded quickly like a little kid awaiting a treat.

"The stars up there. There's too many to counts plus there's an endless amount. So, my love for you are like he stars in the sky. Endless and ever lasting. Stars rarely die and they live for a helluva long time. But when they do end, they turn into a cluster of spectral colours; a super nova. They go out with a bang." I listened to him silently as I watched him point here and there and end up looking at my ears.

"Fany-ah. I can't be like your mother, give you the same type of love that a mother provides a child. Trust me, I long for that too. But I'll fill that void, I'll give you another type of love."

"I think, I love you?" He said with an unsure voice. I wanted to cry, to push him far away from me.

It's so impossible to love someone like me.

"I made promises to you Fany-ah. The promise to keep you safe, to never hurt you, make you laugh, fill those bad memories with goods one and protect you with my hearts content. I'm never going to be like what you went through 8 months ago. But remember, I am not perfect. I can not be that knight in shining armour for you but I can be Kim Taeyeon for you."

"Please let me love you? It's the only thing I seem to do right."

I sighed, I didn't say anything I didn't nod I did nothing. I just played with his fingers like I always do as he stared at me with side eyes.

An 'I love you' is a little too early, in my opinion.

"I don't expect you to say it back by the way. Just wanted to tell you what I felt." I felt so bad. I had no way of telling him because I wasn't sure.

"Just a caution by the way. My past isn't clean."I hummed. No ones past is clean, not even mine. So who am I to judge?

I clutched the stuffed animal tighter in my arms, wanting nothing but to run away and hide for awhile.

He sighed and brought us back to the hotel. That night he slept on his back staring at the ceiling. I was laying on my side looking at him.

I felt guilt. I cant return that type of feeling.

Love is not something that can happen so fast. Yet he confessed so early.

"I'm sorry, Taetae." He shook his head and scotched closer to press a lingering kiss on the crown of my head forehead.

"Don't say sorry. I understand." He stroked my hair and tucks me under his chin, mumbling a goodnight as I inhale his familiar scent.

Love is a strong word.