*Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter. They were greatly appreciated. Thank-you all so much.*
ANA's POINT OF VIEW:
"You and Dean have done very well for yourselves," says my mom as I drive her, Natalia and me to a bridal shop in town so I can pick out my wedding dress.
"Thanks," I say with a smile. "I didn't think we would ever get there. The college years were a little rough. I felt bad because I wasn't working because of school and taking care of Natalia and he was busting his ass working and trying to make money whenever he could make it. It was tough. I wasn't sure we were ever going to get here especially the year he got fired from that promotion he was working for in Puerto Rico but I'm glad he got back on his feet."
"Me too," she says, "he seems like a good guy."
"He is a really great guy," I say with a smile. "I'm the horrible one," I say as I look at Natalia in the rearview mirror to make sure she can't hear me as she listens to her I-pod in the backseat. "I did him wrong, Mom," I say.
"What exactly did you do?" she asks.
"I slept with someone else a couple years ago. I cheated on him. I became the person I always hated. I mean I saw what it did to you and Dad but yet I did it anyway. Then I was being blackmailed to keep my job so I did things with my boss such as oral and hand jobs go. I was selfish. Dean has always been by my side and has always been faithful to me but I turned into dad."
"You didn't turn into dad," she says, "if you had turned into dad you would still be doing it. You're not like your father."
"In some ways I am," I say, "but in other ways I am like you. I'm just glad Dean still wants to marry me after all this."
"Because he loves you, Ana. You two are able to fix this and have fixed it. That's what happens when you love someone. Through the good or the bad times you love them. I believe I loved your dad but I don't think I loved him enough. Do you love Dean enough?"
"How much is enough?" I ask. "I love him endlessly. He is the love of my life. I can't ever picture my life without him. I never want to find out either. We've been through so much together and I can't wait to see what else we go through and what the future holds for us."
"I'm sure you two are going to be very happy with each other. We all make mistakes but they are for us to learn from you know what I mean?"
"I know," I say with a smile. "I have learned my lesson. I'm slowly earning his trust back. He wants a paternity test done on the baby."
"How do you feel about that?"
"I feel he has every right to have a paternity test done. I haven't slept with anyone but him in the last 2 years. I know it's his baby but I can understand his doubts. If I were in his shoes I would probably have the same reaction. I don't blame him at all what I did was wrong and I deserve to be questioned."
"I see," she says. "What's it like with him living with you again?"
"It's an adjustment. I forgot how particular he really is. It drives me nuts sometimes I swear," I say with a smile thinking about Dean's quirks. He has so many his clothes have to be folded a certain way and that includes his underwear. He hates when the bed is unmade it has to be made once we wake up. He has a bottle of hand sanitizer on him at all times and he hates when people shake his hand or when he has to shake hands with people. Lysol is his best friend and the milk, juices and stuff in the fridge have to be put away in a particular order. The vegetables and fruits can't be together and the lunch meat has to be by itself and the cheese can't be with it. He has a lot of quirks but that's him and I love every part of him it's just getting used to it again. "but it's a part of him and I love everything about him."
"Good," she says with a smile. "So he won't talk to Jonathan?"
"Nope," I say, "I can't get him to talk to Jonathan at all. He wants nothing to do with him and he doesn't want Natalia around him. I tried but he has every right to be pissed with him."
"It's been over 26 years," she says, "don't you think it's time to forgive his dad."
"Whether it's been 26 years or not when Jonathan walked out on Jon when he was three years old that broke Jon's heart. He was just a little boy that loved his dad but his dad walked out and never came back. You don't know what Jon went through after his dad left. I'm not going to get into it but he didn't have the best life and his dad never even bothered to come back to save him. He never came back to see if he was okay or not."
"He sent him cards for Christmas and his birthday," she says. "He was trying."
"He didn't try hard enough a card and some money isn't going to make up for what he did to his son. He abandoned him and he never came back. Sure he sent a card and some money but that's not being a father. That's trying to right a wrong the wrong way. You can't buy love and a piece of paper isn't going to make up for the hell that Jon went through in his life."
"His life couldn't have been that bad, Ana," she says.
"You wanna bet?" I ask. "His life was hell. I'm not going to fight about my fiancée's life growing up. I know more about him than you ever will. Jonathan didn't do a thing to be a father to him. He left his 3 year old son. If he cared so much he would have went back to that house to rescue his son and to make sure he was all right but he didn't."
"You forgave me," she says.
"Our situation was different. You were forced out of my life. Dean's dad wasn't forced out of his. He chose to leave. Dean doesn't want anything to do with him and I'm going to support him in that. I don't want to fight with Dean about something he has every right to feel. It's his choice."
"I just think that after all these years Dean should forgive his father. I mean after all Jonathan is trying his hardest here."
"He should have tried harder when Dean was that poor little boy growing up in the wrong part of town watching his mom get her ass kicked by her pimp and the men she brought into the house. He should have tried harder when Dean was getting kicked around by his mom's pimps and her boyfriends. He should have tried harder when Dean was watching his mom get high and watching her withdraw. He should have tried harder when his mom went on a binge and Dean was left alone by himself for days going hungry. He should have tried harder when there was no food on the table, Mom, I can keep going and you can keep thinking that Dean didn't have a bad life but the fact is his life was hell growing up. I never told anyone this but Dean lived in Dad's house for a while because his mom kicked him out because she chose her pimp over him, the same pimp that raped me when Dad kicked me out of the house because I was pregnant and the same pimp that killed Dean's mom so keep thinking that Dean didn't have that bad of a life and I can keep giving you examples on how bad it really was. Dean has turned out to be a great man despite everything that he went through and no thanks to your husband. Shit, I don't even know how he learned to be the dad he is today because he surely didn't have a decent male role model in his life but Dean does a damn good job at being a fiancée and being a father. I'm proud of everything he overcame and he did it without Jonathan so when you ask me why he doesn't want anything to do with his dad, his dad never wanted anything to do with him and let's be honest if you weren't married to his dad I'm sure he still wouldn't give a shit."
"Wow, I had no idea, Ana," she says.
"That's right you didn't but I do. You weren't there when Dean had nightmares about it. You weren't there for him and neither was his father. Dean doesn't want his dad in his life at all and doesn't want him in Natalia's life and I'm going to respect that."
"So I take it Jonathan isn't invited to the wedding?" she asks as I pull into the parking lot of the bridal shop.
"No not at all just like Dad's lover isn't invited either," I say.
"I don't want to come to the wedding without Jonathan."
"You're going to need to," I say. "Dean doesn't want him there and I'm going to respect him and his wishes. It's his wedding too," I say turning off the car.
"Then I probably won't be there."
"Wow, Mom," I say, "thanks for choosing your husband over your daughter? You would really miss my wedding because your husband can't come?"
"It's not fair," she says, "and the girls won't be there either."
"Fine," I say. "I'm not going to kiss your ass to come to my wedding but it would be nice if you were there you missed EVERY other important thing in my life. I would think you would want to come see me get married but I guess not."
"Well, if Jonathan can't go," she says.
"Don't even say anymore," I say as we get out of the car. "I get it. Your husband's feelings are more important than your daughter's."
"And aren't you doing the same to me?"
"Mom, this wedding isn't about you and what you want. It's about Dean and what we want. I'm your daughter but then again like I said you missed everything else in my life so why not miss this too."
"Ana," she says, "it's not fair to Jonathan that he can't come."
"Yeah well, it's not fair to Dean to have the man that abandoned him at his own wedding. Dean is winning this one. I like Jonathan and all but I can't make Dean do something that he doesn't want to do. This is NOT how I thought today would go," I say as we walk into the bridal shop. "I thought that we could have a nice mother/daughter day and look at some dresses but I guess I was wrong."
"I want to do that," she says with a half-smile. "I am sorry that I'm ruining this day."
"It's fine," I say. "It's fine. I just want to get this over with so I can get home to Dean."
"I'm sorry, Ana."
"It's fine, Mom," I say as we are greeted by someone that works in the store.
"Hello, my name is Heather, how can I help you today?" she asks me.
"I'm Ana," I say with a smile. "I just wanted to look at some dresses and maybe try a couple dresses on is that okay?"
"That's fine," she says with a smile. "I can help you with that," she says with a smile as she escorts us to the wedding dresses. I can't believe that I'm actually wedding dress shopping. I have waited for this my entire life, okay maybe not my entire life but the last 8 years at least. I always knew that Dean and I were going to get married someday and although we had a beautiful private wedding not too long ago I'm still getting my dream wedding with him.
Heather leaves my mom, Natalia and me alone to look at the beautiful dresses. They are all so beautiful it's hard to choose just one dress. I want to wear them all. I go through dress after dress getting feedback from my mom. "Are you going to wear a white dress?" she asks.
"Um, yeah," I say.
"You'll have two kids by the time you get married," she says.
"So I can still wear a white dress," I say as I go through the dresses. "Nothing wrong with that."
"Okay," she says, "your ring is beautiful by the way."
"Thank-you," I say with a smile. "He knows how to pick them huh?"
"Yeah, it's like he picked out the biggest rock he could fine."
"I guess," I say as I admire the diamond ring. I can't get over how beautiful it is. "Oh my gosh," I say as I find a white dress and pull it off the rack. "I think I'm in love," I say holding it up.
"That's beautiful," says my mom with a smile.
"What do you think Natalia?" I ask.
"It's pretty," she says with a smile. "Are you going to try it on?"
"Should I?" I ask.
"Yes," she says with a smile.
"Okay," I say before I go to find Heather to try the dress on. She leads me to a fitting room and I walk in to put the dress on. I strip out of my clothes and put the dress on my body. It's a bit tight cause of my baby bump but it's still manageable. I won't be pregnant when I get married. I admire myself in the mirror as I'm dressed in a beautiful white satin dress with embroidery and crystal beading on the sleeves, with a sweetheart neckline with sheer cap sleeves with a beaded belt. I am in love with the dress. It's like I know the one. It's the one that I want. I know it. I don't want any other dress. This is the one I want. I walk out of the fitting room and say, "what do you think?"
"Beautiful, Mommy," says Natalia with a smile. "You look like a princess!"
"Thanks," I say with a smile. "Mom?"
"Anastasia, it's a beautiful dress just like you. I love it. You look so good in it."
"It's a little tight cause of my bump but I think I should be all right by the time the wedding gets here. I just need to figure out what to do with the girls," I say as my breasts are toppling over the top. "I think I have grown in the boob department," I say with a smile. "What do you think?"
"Yeah," says my mom as Heather comes over. "Are you breastfeeding?"
"I'd like to," I say with a smile. "Heather, this is the dress. I really want this one."
"Okay," she says, "I'm sure you could use a bigger size," she says.
"I don't know. Right now I'm pregnant and I'll have the baby 5 months before do you think I should get the bigger size?"
"I say to order the bigger size but we can always make adjustments to it."
"Okay," I say with a smile. "That's what I want."
"All right," she says before she takes down my measurements and jots down the size dress that I need before I change out of it Dean is going to love it. I hope that the moment he sees me walking down the aisle that this dress takes his entire breath away and brings tears to his eyes. That's my goal.
LATER THAT EVENING:
"How did it go today with your mom?" asks Dean as he is massaging my shoulders as we are sitting in our bed.
"It was all right," I say, "I had fun. I bought my wedding dress," I say with a smile.
"Did you?" he asks and I can hear the smile in his voice. "Is it beautiful?"
"I think it's beyond beautiful," I say with a smile.
"Can I see it?"
"Of course not, not until our wedding day and you see me walking down the aisle in it. I want you to be surprised."
"I guess," he says as he continues to massage my shoulders. "I'm sure you're going to be the most beautiful bride. Is it everything you ever wished for in a wedding dress?"
"Yes," I say with a smile. "It is everything I ever wished for just like you're everything I ever wished for in a man."
"I try," he says.
"Ew, you're so conceited," I say with a smile in a joking tone.
"I wouldn't say all that," he says with a smile as he kisses my neck softly making me smile there is nothing more intimate than that. "I'm sure you're going to take my breath away."
"I hope so."
"You always do," he says making me smile. "So what else did you do today?"
"We went out to lunch at a Japanese restaurant and we went to get manicures and pedicures," I say with a smile. "It was a very relaxing day." I say as I go through my cell phone checking out my Instagram page. "I had fun except my mom isn't coming to the wedding."
"Why?" he asks.
"Because Jonathan isn't invited," I say, "that's pretty messed up isn't it? I mean I am her daughter. I'm getting married. I don't plan to get married again but still you think she would want to be there."
"That's ridiculous. Screw Jonathan, you're her daughter she should be there for you."
"I know but she doesn't think it's fair to him."
"Screw that," he says. "You're her daughter and it's not fair to you that she won't be there. You would think that as your mom she would want to be there."
"One would think," I say as I still as I look at my Instagram page to see that the picture of Dean's hands on my stomach making a heart is generating some hate from his fans. "I mean I love my mom," I say reading through the comments. "And I would like for her to be there but if she wants to choose Jonathan over me then so be it. I don't care."
"I'm sorry, Ana, this is my fault because I don't want Jonathan there."
"It's not your fault, Jon. It's her fault. She's the one missing out. She'll regret it someday."
"I know but still do you want Jonathan to be there so that your mom can be there?"
Ana is such a slut that baby probably isn't even Dean's.
Dean is so much better without Ana. I heard she slept with her boss and tons of other people too.
Can we say herpes!
It's all about the money for her. She doesn't love Dean.
Dean is a fool for being with her.
She's a whore.
This is Ana's personal Instagram page. She is polite enough to let us see into her personal life and you idiots are going to ruin that by trashing her.
She is trash.
She's not trash. If you are a fan of Dean you are disrespecting him by disrespecting the mother of his child and his future wife. Respect her. You don't know anything about their personal business. Leave her alone.
I know plenty it's been tweeted about.
Ooh something you found on Twitter I'm sure that's 100% true. It's not our business whatever Ana and Dean do in their private life is of no concern to us. If you don't like Ana stay off her page.
She slept with her boss Stephen. She cheated on Dean. He deserves better.
"Ana," says Dean snapping me out of my thoughts as I read the comments on the picture.
"I'm sorry, what?"
"Do you want Jonathan to be at our wedding so that your mom can be there?" he asks.
"No," I say. "This is your wedding too. I'll be fine without my mom there. I have been fine with everything else that she missed. I don't care. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable on your wedding day because Jonathan is there. If my mom wants to be selfish it's on her."
"All right," he says. "What has you distracted?"
"Instagram," I say letting out a deep breath. "Your fan girls are at it again. I was nice enough to make my page public but once again people are taking Natalia's pics and using them and I'm getting some harsh comments," I say. "Read them." I hand him my phone and he starts to scroll through the comments on the page.
"What the fuck," he says handing my phone back to me. "How do they even know about you and Stephen?"
"I don't know," I say, "I'm sorry that I let you down," I say.
"Look, Ana, we're trying to get past all that shit that happened. I don't care what any of these fan girls are saying on the internet. It's not about them or what they think. It's about us and us getting passed this. You and I both know what happened. You and I both know that I love you and that you love me. What half of these girls don't get is that you were with me before the money even came. They didn't see us struggling while you were in college. They didn't see us get pregnant at 17 or see me go to jail. They didn't even know my name. You knew me before the world did and you loved me before the world did. I'm not worried about their opinions. I never cared before and I'm not going to care now. I love you, Ana. I will always love you. You were there for me when I barely had a dime, when I was a drug addict, when I was in jail you were there none of those girls were and I doubt that they would have been. We've been through a lot in the last 11 years, we aren't perfect but the way we love each other is. People are going to hate on you, they're going to hate on me and they are going to pass their judgment about us but at the end of the day none of what the haters say matter, what the marks say or what the fans say what matters is that our love has not broken through all the hell we've been through. Don't give them the satisfaction," he says, "it's you and I, Natalia and the baby that's what matters at the end of the day not what they think about us. I love you, Ana."
"I love you too," I say with a smile before he kisses my lips softly. He kisses my lips again and this time I take a picture of us sharing a soft kiss and post it on Instagram saying, The couples that are meant to be are the ones who go through everything that's designed to tear them apart and come out even stronger. I love my husband to be. Been through the storm with this man he is the love of my life forever.
*A/N: What did you think of Ana's mom? Is she over stepping her boundaries when it comes to Ana? What do you think of her saying Dean didn't have a bad childhood? What are your thoughts on her not wanting to go to the wedding becauase Jonathan can't come? Do you think she's being selfish? What did you think of Ana finding her wedding dress? What did you think of her standing up for Dean to her mom? Do you think she's all right with her mom not coming to the wedding? What did you think of the fan girls starting with Ana on instagram? ARe they being too harsh? What are your thoughts on what Dean told her? Is he right? Please review and thank-you for reading.