Neptune Reacts to Tankery, Part 3!
A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Firstly, time for some shameless self-promotion about a story you will probably never read! I've started a new RWBY fanfic called The Knight's Absolute Choice, about a very unfortunate Jaune with the curse of Sadistic Choices, which you can go read all about over in that story! Maaaan I suck at summaries, and not in the bad writer way- not that I'm not a bad writer. :P
Now, let's wrap up the Tankery arc! And this is the reason why you don't borrow tanks from Gretchen freaking Faust. Or why you exorcise anything she lends you. ANYTHING.
DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise Winter would be the best ojou ever.
Girls und Panzer belongs to Studio Actas.
All mentioned franchises belong to their respective owners.
Nora whooped for joy, yelling her joy out into the smoky air, as she climbed out to look about the grey, ruined buildings that surrounded them for any sign of the enemy.
"YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" The berserker pumped her fist. "PANZER VOR! PAAAAANZER VOR!"
Ren looked up from the driver's seat, sighing. "Nora, remember, we're trying to keep a low profile, even if we happen to be in one of the biggest production tanks ever.
Do we have eyes on the enemy?"
"Nope!" Nora responded cheerfully. "Our future victims are nowhere in sight!"
Velvet rifled through the shells at their disposal, looking at the shells marked 'GUNTHER'- the smoke shells they were just barely permitted to use.
"Shall I get a smokescreen out to lure them over here?" Velvet turned to Ren. "We can set up an ambush on the other end and hit out one of them. I think I heard the Hetzer nearby."
"Hetzer..." Ren rubbed his chin, thinking carefully as he grabbed the radio and switched it on.
"Pyrrha, do you have eyes on Oarai?"
"Nothing." The spearmaiden calmly responded. "We do not have sight on the enemy team, but we have heard shots nearby.
Neptune, do you copy?"
"I hear you. Pyrrha, do you have your bearings?"
"We are directly east of the middle square, between a pair of fallen buildings. I think I can see their Tiger in the distance." Pyrrha dictated serenely. "The Tiger is within firing range. Should we engage?"
"No, I can see their Hetzer on your flank. If you fire, you will be noticed."
"Noted. Retreating." Pyrrha turned her radio off just as the sound of tracks moving were heard from her feed. Neptune's attention was turned to Ren's group.
"What about you guys? Do you see anything?"
Velvet chimed in. "I think I heard the Hetzer nearby, so we may possibly be right next to them. Judging from your claim, I think you're next to them. Nora, could you check?"
"Aye!" Nora saluted her proudly and climbed back out, popping her binoculars on and looking around.
A short distance away, Beacon's Sherman tank was slowly trawling along the debris-covered road, its turret turning towards the Maus.
"Their cannon's turned toward us!"
Ren grabbed the radio. "Neptune, do not fire! That's us!"
"Crap!"
Suddenly, Neptune's head popped out from the tank, looking to confirm the Maus' identity. His eyes were wide in shock as he ducked quickly back in, with Nora following suit.
"A-alright. Roger that, you've been confirmed." The boy sounded slightly shaken. "That was close.
Alright, so Pyrrha's east of us, and Oarai's Hetzer and Tiger are to the northeast. Pancake Team, you are to head to the end of the square and fire off a smokescreen to lure them over here.
Badger Team, do you read?"
"We read." Pyrrha called over. "Swan Team, are you ready to move into position?"
"Pancake Team and Swan Team ready." Winter chimed in from Neptune's end. "Miss Gunther, are you sure your shells will hold?"
"Well, they worked the last time we used them..." Isara reminded her, thinking back to the inauguration battle the Tankery Club had done months ago. "I don't think anything should go wrong."
Neptune sighed in relief. "If we can take out two of their tanks, we can surround the last two and win the game.
Wait, wait. Where's Panther Team?"
"Haven't seen them." Velvet called, before turning to Nora. "Did you see Blake's tank?"
"Nuh-uh. She hasn't shown up in a while."
Ren grumbled. "Knowing her, she probably drove the thing off the arena. She hates tanks..."
"No, that would be unmanly, according to her logic." Winter pointed out. "She is most likely moving into position to ambush a tank we cannot see."
Ren rubbed his temples. "So grab her on the radio and get her position! We could pull off an ambush now if she's next to them."
"Last I heard, she's on the other side of the arena." Neptune pointed out, sighing. "Trying to get to her, we might get attacked ourselves, as there's a ton of places to hide between the square and that side.
For now, just proceed with the plan. We should be able to ambush the Hetzer or the Tiger, and then we'll just have to deal with the other three easily the same way.
Badger Team, Pancake Team, get into position. Neptune, out." His channel faded into static again.
"Roger that, Badger Team moving into position."
Pyrrha's channel also fizzled off. Ren shut off the radio, turning to Nora.
"Right, Nora, keep your eye out for any tanks that aren't ours. Velvet-"
The bunnygirl was already loading the smoke shell with one hand. "Already on it?"
"Pipipi?" Vivi, who had been sleeping on the ammunition storage, blinked awake, tilting her head at Velvet.
"Yes, we're going to fight! And then Weiss-sempai will...see us!" Velvet declared, blushing and clutching her cheek. "...we have to do our best! Then Weiss-sempai will love me!"
"Pipipi..." Vivi rubbed her temple, shaking her head. "Pipipipi."
She hopped over to the magazine, helping push the shell in and shut the magazine closed. Ren calmly drove to an opening to an alley, waiting for the word from Neptune to proceed.
Meanwhile...
Blake drummed her fingers over the top of the turret, binoculars in hand, rather impatiently waiting for the first fight she could throw herself into.
"Come on, come on..." The catgirl muttered. "Give me something to work with!"
Norn raised a finger. "Have you considered the probability of an enemy tank-"
"Appearing here is likely zero, yes, I know." Blake banged her fist onto the turret. "But I just want to blow something up already! I don't need you to tell me that again!"
"I...see." Norn nodded, her expression unchanged. However, Minako and Blake both heard a slightly wounded tone in her voice as she returned to silence.
Blake frowned, sighing to herself.
'Belladonna, you're an idiot. I guess I went a little too far...'
She climbed back down into the tank, tapping Norn on the shoulder.
"...look, Norn. I'm sorry I'm yelling at you, okay?" The catgirl stated apologetically. "I'm just...irritated. I know I shouldn't be, and I'm sorry."
"An apology is not required." The robot maid responded calmly, raising her hand to signal peace. "I understand you are not entirely enthused with Tankery.
I am...however...appreciative of the effort." Norn nodded curtly at her, and Blake swore she was smiling, if it wasn't for the fact that, as usual, her face was completely devoid of emotion. "But we must not spend too long on lingering on misunderstandings-"
Suddenly, the radio burst into life, causing Minako to almost jump out of her seat. "G-gyah! What the-!"
"The hell?!" Blake cried as she leaned towards the radio, listening in.
"...Hetzer on your flank. If you fire, you will be noticed." Neptune's voice filtered, filled with the usual crackling and static, over the speaker. Blake pressed her ear closely to it, listening in.
"What's going on?" Minako tried to contact them, but they didn't seem to hear her. She flicked her own radio, before realising that for some reason, it wasn't working.
"Damn it, they can't hear us." The girl declared, but Blake shushed her, glaring at her briefly.
"Shush! I'm trying to listen in!"
"Pancake Team, you are to move into the end of the square and fire off a smokescreen to lure them over here. Badger Team, do you read?"
Blake grumbled, clenching her fist tightly. "So...they're having fun without us, huh?"
She climbed up to look around outside the Tiger, still seeing nothing but the old, abandoned buildings and debris. The catgirl closed her eyes, climbing back down.
"Minako, set full course for the square. We're going in guns blazing!" Blake declared hotly. "We aren't being left out of the fun!"
Norn checked the magazine briefly. "Our colleagues are planning an ambush. Our interference in their plan may be undesirable-"
"Yeah, but I'm getting bored here! Look, Norn, I'm not yelling, but we're not exactly doing anything on this side. Chances are, two things will happen.
We're about five minutes away from the square, so the likelihood is that either the ambush goes well, and we'll just be helping mop up the remains, or it goes horribly, and we'll at least be able to take out one or two guys before we get crushed by Oarai.
Isn't that a better plan than hiding out here?"
Minako shrugged. "Blake's got a point. Better we try to do something. I'll get on getting us there quickly."
"Alright." Blake rubbed her hands in anticipation, settling back into the commander's position.
She grinned for the first time in a week.
"This is going to be fun."
At the square...
Velvet waited patiently to fire, lining up the turret with the entrance to the square.
The Maus was poised directly around the corner, ready to fire at the slightest movement, the turret aimed just in front of the road leading to the square to catch the tracks. The hulking vehicle was stock still and the engine off to mask any sound coming from it, in order to increase the element of surprise. Opposite, Swan Team's Sherman was in place, ready to fire to finish off the other tank.
Meanwhile, Badger Team's Panzer was circling around, waiting to ambush the inevitable backup tank itself.
It was going well- too well, as the savvy would say.
"I can hear the tracks getting closer..." Nora whispered- if one could call it that, for she was all but yelling, an amazing feat for someone attempting to lower their voice as much as physically possible.
"...can we fire soon? Please tell me we can blow them up now. Please?"
"That's not a whisper." Ren hissed. Nora pouted, crossing her arms.
"I can't control my voice, for my voice is that of a mighty sloth that cannot easily be hidden!" The berserker declared proudly. "Feaaaaar me!"
"Nora, we won't be able to blow them up like you want to if you do that." Ren pointed out teasingly, wagging his finger.
Nora immediately shut up.
Velvet's hands shivered as she waited for the order to fire. Vivi clung to her shoulder, tilting her head.
"Pipipipi?"
"Yes, just a bit more...and we'll win and we'll impress Weiss-sempai!" The bunnygirl whispered. "Just a little more..."
The sound of engines drew closer to the entrance. Velvet tensed, ready to fire.
"Come on, come on..."
Nora slowly poked her head out of the tank to see the Oarai Girls' Hetzer- imprinted with the green turtle representing Turtle Team and the Oarai Girls symbol- wheeling towards the entrance, with a brown-haired girl in Oarai uniform looking out of the turret, before sinking back into the tank, shutting it over her head.
Nora sunk into her tank, looking to Velvet. "Get ready to fire! This is going to be fun..."
'Excellent...' Velvet giggled insanely. 'We can prove ourselves to Weiss-sempaaaaai!'
The Hetzer pulled in front of them, with nobody poking their head out of the tank.
Velvet pulled on the lever and-
"It's not firing...why isn't it firing?!" Velvet pulled on it again, without much effect. "...come on, fire!"
Nora stared at her. "W-what do you mean it didn't fire?!"
"I-It's not firing!"
Ren tried to turn on the engine to back out of the fight, but to no avail. The ignition seemed to be dead too.
"What's going on? This thing was just working two minutes ago!" The gunslinger smacked the dashboard. "Come on, work!"
Nora looked confused. "What the...we need to get Neptune on this!"
She grabbed the radio to try to call their leader, but the radio seemed to be dead. Not even the familiar, irritating static came out, signalling they could at least launch communications with anyone else, but absolutely, positively silent.
Nora stared at Ren, horrified. "Renny...what's going on...t-this is...scary..."
"I don't understand it either..." The gunslinger quickly flicked the key in and out, but it did nothing. The dashboard flickered briefly, as if it were taunting them.
Suddenly, the sound of a tank's gun was heard, right in front of them, followed by the sound of metal crackling and denting. The smell of smoke filled the air, and all of them froze, shocked.
"D-don't tell me..." Nora looked worried.
The Beacon Team's Sherman has been taken out by the Turtle Team's Hetzer!
"...damn it!" Ren smacked the dashboard. "Turn on, turn on!"
Suddenly, a mischievous laugh filled their ears. The laugh seemed to be almost impish, echoing throughout the innards of the Maus.
The dashboard suddenly sparked, with smoke streaming from the gauges. Ren jumped, blinking in surprise.
"I don't understand what exactly is going on h-"
An impact shook the Maus, almost knocking Velvet off her seat. Vivi hung on to her shoulder for dear life.
"Pipipipi!"
"D-did we get taken out?!" Nora cried. "D-did we?!"
"No, the announcement would've triggered already. The armour' s pretty thick. It'll take a little more than that to-"
Another shot shook the Maus again, rocking it hard. Velvet looked down.
"G-guys, what do we do?! Our tank isn't working, we don't have a radio and I can't seem to fire back!"
Ren closed his eyes. "We're doomed, unless something budge-"
One last shot rocked the Maus, and the white flag popped up from the top of the turret.
Turtle Team's Hetzel has taken out Beacon's Maus!
Pyrrha's eyes widened as two tanks on her team had been taken out. She sank back into her tank, looking shocked.
"What were those two doing?! They were literally just sitting ducks!" Isara cried.
"Move up to the Hetzer and fire at them! If we can grab Blake's team and get together, then we may be able to win this fight.
Sun, move out! Quickly!"
"On it!" The monkey Faunus turned on the ignition and drove the Panzer around, turning towards the square.
The Panzer drove straight through a fallen concrete column, smashing it to dust with ease, as it travelled straight over it.
Pyrrha poked her head out of the turret, looking around to see the Hetzer driving off, leaving the beaten Sherman and Maus in pieces, with Ren and Neptune's teams walking off the arena.
"...how did they beat the Maus?" Pyrrha stared, blinking, before ducking back in.
Sun stared at her. "Wait, wait. They took out a Maus? I'm pretty sure that even a dedicated tank destroyer like the Hetzer couldn't touch the Maus, not unless it was a sitting duck."
Isara raised a finger. "...a sitting duck, you say? That would be-"
The Panzer's engine suddenly switched off. Pyrrha looked to her driver.
"What's going on? Why are we stopping? We're nowhere near the Hetzer!"
"I-I didn't stop it!" Isara cried. "That's not-"
Realisation dawned upon her face. "...oh."
"Oh?" Sun looked confused. "What's 'oh' mean?"
"...a gremlin. A spirit of some kind, that loves hanging around complicated mechanisms." The mechanic explained. "Gremlins interfere with the working of vehicles and technology for fun, and tend to hide in the inner workings of vehicles.
...and if these were Professor Faust's..."
"I think we should've taken that whole spiel about exorcism seriously..." Sun muttered. "So the tanks are haunted?"
"ONE tank was haunted, but the gremlin must've gotten bored...or it stopped working..." The mechanic explained, somewhat shivering. "If a gremlin's loose here...the only way to banish it is to exorcise it, kill it or scare it into running-"
A shot rippled into the side of the Panzer, shaking the occupants.
Oh my, a triple streak! The Turtle's Hetzer has taken out Beacon's Panzer as well!
"...it's just Blake left." Pyrrha sighed. "...we're doomed."
...
The Tiger wheeled into a scene of destruction.
Blake surveyed the three other tanks of her team, all smoking with the white flags signalling their defeat propped up.
"...how did all of them fall to an ambush?" The catgirl scratched her head. "What in the name of-
HETZER DEAD AHEAD! NORN!"
The Hetzer was heading straight for them, ready to obliterate the fourth tank in a row it had fought.
Norn quickly loaded ammunition into the magazine and, with the appropriate efficiency of a machine, fired the gun with a swift motion.
The Hetzer's crew didn't see it coming.
It stopped in the middle of the road, smoking, with the white flag popping up to signal defeat.
Finally, a victory for Beacon! Beacon's Tiger has defeated the Hetzer!
"...what is going on here?" Blake scratched her head, turning to her left.
A Panzer was heading down towards them, with the Oarai markings and a stylized Anglerfish mark in place of the Beacon coat of arms.
"Norn, aim due west! Fire quickly!"
"Understood."
The robot maid swiftly reloaded the tank, much faster than even two humans with an autoloader could.
All the upgrades Blake had provided her to fight in the Cockerel Festival had served well.
Norn fired quickly. The first shot took out the Panzer's track, stopping it from moving. It skidded to a stop several metres away from the Tiger, the turret turning to aim at the Tiger's tracks.
"Adjust! Fifty-seven degrees up!"
"Understood."
The turret moved up, and Norn fired again.
This time, her shot was true, hitting the tank full on the body, taking it out instantly. The white flag popped up, signalling its defeat.
Oh my, Beacon's Panther Team seems to be doing incredibly well! They've taken out Anglerfish Team's Panzer!
"Just the StUG and their Tiger left..." Minako wiped her brow in relief, driving slightly forwards and turning to avoid the two tanks left charred in front of them, along with the trains of high school students walking out of the arena.
Blake searched for another opponent, looking around to see an absolutely ostentatious red-painted tank wheeling towards them, with flags hooked on bamboo sticks behind it.
The catgirl stared at it in disbelief.
"Are you..." She shook his head.
"Norn, due 179 degrees. Fire once."
"...understood."
Once again, the shot was on target. The STuG barely got anywhere near the Tiger before stopping, smoking with the white flag popped up in defeat.
Beacon seems to be catching up! Panther Team's Tiger has taken out Hippo Team's STuG!
Minako whistled. "You...really are a good shot."
"I have a firing calculator installed as part of my programs. It is primitive in comparison to a true firing computer, but it, as humans say, does the job."
Blake pumped her fists. "Yeah! We're going to win this! Just keep searching for the last tank!"
Of course, it didn't take too long to find- after all, it was searching for them too.
The Tiger rounded upon them, drawing nearer to finish the fight quickly.
Norn prepared to fire. "Do not worry. I can detect the-"
Suddenly, the tank's engines locked up, shutting off. Norn froze up, twitching as she picked up ammunition.
"B-Blake..." The robot maid squeezed out, her voice glitching out and filling with static. "...I-I seem to be...experiencing an...error-"
Norn collapsed onto the floor of the tank, her eyes shutting. Blake's eyes widened.
"What the! Norn! NORN!" She knelt next to the robot, shaking her and checking her ports. She was unresponsive.
"...Norn...what the hell?!"
Minako smacked her dashboard. "Damn it! The tank's turned off! What's going on-"
A demonic laugh filled the tank, as the dashboard started smoking, echoing throughout the tank and almost taunting Blake.
Of course, with her daughter having been shut down and her tank shut down by something, the catgirl was in no mood to be taunted. Her hand clenched into a fist as she glared at the dashboard.
"Alright, I know what the hell you are! You're a gremlin, aren't you? You probably haunted our tanks because Faust sealed you into it! Well, guess what, I am NOT in the mood to take your crap today!
Listen up, mister! Open those dusty ears of yours and listen up! I am the GREAT AND MIGHTY Blake Belladonna! Manliest catgirl this side of the multiverse and leader of Team Antic!
And I am NOT going to be beaten by a gremlin! And if you think you will get away with hurting my daughter here, I will personally break that screwed illusion of yours!
I WILL DRAG YOUR SPECTRAL BACKSIDE OUT FROM WHEREVER YOU'RE HIDING AND BEAT YOU DOWN!"
The laughing stopped, along with the smoking. Minako stared at Blake, shocked.
"...you...you're pretty pissed."
"I have not had a good week." Blake sighed irritably as she put the unconscious Norn into the command seat with some difficulty.
"Try to turn on the tank again. I'll try to fire, now that the gremlin's gone." The catgirl climbed determinedly into the gunner seat, taking aim at the Tiger.
"Alright...let's see if I can fire this thing. I have one shot..."
Blake closed her eyes, squeezing off the last shot she could.
Kaboom.
A boom and a thud, and Blake knew she had made her mark.
A victory for Beacon Academy! The Tiger has been defeated! Congratulations!
Blake sighed in relief, pressing herself against the magazine.
"...alright, it's over now..." The catgirl breathed heavily. "It's done, it's done.
We won, and I never have to do this thing ever again."
Blake looked down at Norn with concern, shaking her head.
"...I'll just have to check on you later, Norn.
You need a tune-up anyway. And...dare I say it, a big hug, too
A manly hug. Not a cute hug. Cute hugs are for moeblobs."
END
A/N: So, now that that whole thing's over...next chapter, Weiss Reacts to Weiss Reacts! We're covering everything we can now!
Also, as I said earlier in the chapter, check out my new fic, The Knight's Absolute Choice- it's good for a laugh at how absolutely horrible it is.
So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, criticisms, suggestions, reviews and thoughts, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!