Kim Taeyeon
"I like to be alone, but yet I don't want the feeling of being lonely." I mumbled, laying beside her as I drowsily tried to fight off sleep.
"You won't be anymore." She said, rubbing the side of my haw beckoning me to sleep.
"I can't tell if you're just babying me to sleep because you're fond of me, or if you're doing this because you want to finish planning your little field trip with your kiddies."
"Damn it." She said with a light laugh before switching to pat my head.
"Tell me, what are your dreams baby?"
"World domination." I rolled my eyes and she saw, laughing as she tried to think of something to say.
"I wanna eat 17 flavours of ice cream at once. I want to eat candy at 12 in the morning."
"Is that it? What kind of fucking dreams are those?" I said with such disbelief.
"Good dreams." I tiredly lifted my head up, questioning her life time goals.
"I want to attend fashion week in Paris, I want to see Kendrick Lamar in concert, I want to go to Hawaii, oh my god wait no Disneyland."
"I want to open my own fashion line." She said with twinkling eyes. Like you know, those comical anime eyes from those animated fucking shows? Yeah, she looked like that.
"I'm genie for you, girl." I said with a wink. She laughed and pushed my shoulder playfully. I sprung back in place only because I loved to invade her personal space.
"I want to do all those things with you." She said softly, caressing my head making me lay it back down on the pillow.
"With me? all of that? Even eating a dozen ice cream flavours at once? Meeting your all time favourite rapper?" I said my voice drifting to a hoarse mumble.
"Yeah, with you." She said like a feather, tugging my ear gently. I slept, dreading the day I'd have to go to the dentist to fix my teeth because of cavities. Knowing that I will do all those things with her. Even the ice cream shit.
I waited outside, sitting on the hood of my car.
I recognized the frame of her as she went through the door with a bunch of her colleagues.
Did I get a little stressed from the way men were talking and touching her? Yeah.
But I didn't say anything. I just wanted to be with her for today, no fights no bickering.
"Taetae!" She ran up to me with big smiles, she practically pranced her way to me.
She looked like a little kid.
"Hi piggy, how was work?" I asked, kissing her on her cheek.
"Stop calling me that. Why are you here? I thought you had to leave town for a couple of days?" She mumbled, still pressed up against me like the most clingy koala ever.
I shrugged."Got bored, missed you. Came home early. Wanted to pick you up."
"But who cares, lets go eat. I missed seeing you inhale your food."
"I'll snort it this time for your entertainment sake." I chortled, following her tug on my arm.
"Mm, attractive. Let's bounce Taebear."
"What are you, a gangster now?"
"Yo. Let's get going." She said, making peace signs as she threw her purse in the back of my car. I'd have to check my car for scratches later, girlfriend or not my car is still my baby.
A few hours later I had to drop my pink bundle at home because she told me she needed
Taeng,
My brother, meet me under the bridge under Aberdeen. Urgent.
- Hyung
I drive to the secluded gated off area, slowly inching my car along the graffitied walls.
Turning off the engine I opened the door, stepping out of it to crane my neck around the place.
"Kim Taeyeon."
Fuck. I knew that sound anywhere, that damn clicking in his jaw. The raspy sandpaper like voice.
"Eunhyuk." I said. I bent my ass over, bending 90 degrees almost kissing his feet. I rose back up and he grunted, the slash in his eye never looked better.
"I see you got my text. Good good." He chuckled, lighting up a cigarette and offering me a hit. I declined politely.
"Heechul, where is he?" I said, looking at my surroundings.
"What about him?" He asked a cocked brow.
"He texted me, why are you here?" I took out my phone. scrolling through my messages.
"Wrong guy buddy." He says, puffing a ring of smoke in my face, clouding my sight. As it dissipated I read the phone number. It wasn't Heechul's.
He took a dip and dropped the cigarette on the floor, stepping on it as he grinded it with his heel. "Nichkhun? Messing with smaller ones eh?" He choked out. I rose my head from my phone screen, slacking my jaw at the mention of Nick's name.
"He left me with no choice." I said, wondering how he found out. Nickcunt probably ratted me out.
"So you beat him till he was crippled? Come on, you were a red pole, a leader. Can't start picking on younger ones, let alone someone part of our organization."
"I'm not a member anymore. I do whatever the fuck I want." I spat out, remembering the images of Stephanie crying because of him.
He sighed and ruffled up his hair, taking another cigarette out and offering me one again. I declined, not wanting to smell like shit. "Look, Uncle Lee Sooman is ill. There's an upcoming election and I need enough people to vote for me to be chairman."
"So? Why are you telling me this shit."
"You see, our own triad is fucking divided Taeyeon. We have our own rivalries within the organization. Were clashing and it's making us seem weak to the Sun On Yee. We're not stable as our own group. Half of the red poles don't think I'm capable of leading and they're voting for Jonghyun."
"Come back to the 18K. Side with me, let's restore our brotherhood and make me chairman."
"Fuck you. I walked away years ago."
"I will be the one to restore peace, stability and prosperity in 18K! I'll make damn sure I'll be chosen as the chairman. Nothing will stop me." He let out a low growl, the clicking in his jaw intensified.
He's always been such a mad dog.
"I left asking for peace. Uncle Lee gave it to me when I brought h the head of our rivals leader. It's been so long I don't even know who the fuck I killed for my freedom."
"Your skill and leadership were thrown away for a simple 'clean' legitimate business? Come on Taeng, that's not like you at all. Think about all the fun you had during those years, the girls, the dope, fuck man the money."
"Do you think I care about that anymore? I walked away. I'm not doing it again. That life, it's not for me."
"Oh but you left that Nick kid in a cellar tied up for 4 days, beaten to a fucking pulp. You did it, you started it. There's no going back now once you got your hands dirty. Now tell me you didn't enjoy that shit." He cooed, playfully shoving my shoulder.
"I didn't because I'm not a sick fuck like you." I said through clenched teeth.
"Oh but you were a sick fuck like me. What's your body count buddy? You were notorious for that." My fist balled up at the mention of my notoriety.
"Fuck. You." I walked back to my car, getting into it before he shot my tires out with a click of his gun.
"Shouldn't speak like that to your superior Taengo. Like I said, I need votes and I need people on my side. You, will be my backer since everyone fucking loved you for some stupid reason."
"You think I'll join you?"
"It's not a choice Taeyeon."
"In your fucking dreams Eunhyuk."
"Why? Don't think I won't make you. You'll have to, trust me. Or I'll have to touch that pretty little Tiffany of yours."
"Was it Tiffany, or was it Stephanie. Eh, doesn't matter same person."
"Don't fucking bring her into this."
"You did it to yourself. Nick came crying to me. Saying how you were going to kill him or some bullocks like that. Hearing that from Nicky boy, I know you're back in the game."
"It was a one time thing." I said with a clenched jaw. My hand gripping on the steering wheel.
"I heard you threatened Siwon too. Come on, don't be like that. We're all family, part of the 18K. Brothers." He puts a hand on my shoulder and I angrily yanked it away.
His eyes intensified and he gave me a crooked smile, bringing his gun up to press against my temple before aiming it high into the nights sky and shooting off a couple of rounds.
He started to laugh hysterically like a drunk man, he staggered closer to me, pressing his lips against my ear.
"I'll kill her." He said with a final click of his jaw. His hand was an iron clamp clenching my bicep, squeezing it enough that I'm sure it'll leave a mark.
I turned around and elbowed his jaw, grabbing the gun and cocking it. I pointed it to the shit man on the floor, rubbing his jaw.
He smiled again, grabbing the gun and pressing it forcefully between his eyes.
"Shoot me, kill me. But you wouldn't. You can't. You can't kill anymore." He chuckles with a throaty cough.
I can't kill anymore, he was right. I can't.
I swallowed the lump in my throat still keeping up a cold demeanor.
"I die, poor little Tiff-Stephanie dies." He says with a sing song voice.
"Stephanie's really hot, I mean I totally get why Nick was with her for so long. Probably a good fuck eh?"
"Don't fucking say her name, don't fucking say his name. Don't talk to her, don't touch her and don't bring her into this."
"I like her little doggy. It's cute isn't it? The white furball, man j wanted one when I was a little kid. Heh, did you know she always stays behind after school cleaning up after the kids for an hour a so before she takes the 547 bus home. What an unsafe route home, it would be a shame if anyone were to. . . take her."
"This is between me and you. You hear me?! Us!" I shouted, cocking the gun and inching my finger to pull the trigger. The man didn't even flinch.
"Heh. Look at you Taeyeon. Why are you so angry all the time? You think you're doing the right thing? You've always thought you were doing the right thing but then you saw your body count rise and you stopped, heh." He coughed and opened his dirty mouth to speak.
"You're a fucking killer. Always have been always will be. You can't run away. Accept your damned fate because she can't love you, she can't love a killer. She doesn't love you."
My breathing was unsteady, I felt myself loosing my own grip and Eunhyuk saw that. He reached up and left hooked me, making me drop the gun.
I stumbled backwards and I felt light being knocked out of me. My body ached and ached and I laid there not being able to process anything except the words of 'she doesn't love you.'
Ironic how I wanted to just be there for her and protect my little Puppy Hwang. But I've done worse than that. I've now put her in danger.
"You answer to me for now on Kim Taeyeon." He growled before knocking me out unconscious with the butt of the gun to my head. My thoughts danced in my head, the words 'she doesn't love you' echoed over and over again.
She will.
The first thing I did when I woke up was to pat myself for my phone.
I ignored the aches in my body, disregarded the dried blood on my finger tips. My shaky hands dialed her number.
Two, three, six rings in and I felt my heart skip. I didn't exhale.
"Hello? Taetae?"
"Where are you? Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. Where were you? I called you a bunch of times but it went straight to voicemail."
"I-I was at work. Sorry phone died. I'll head home now."
"Okay, stay safe. I'll see you tomorrow."
I rolled over to lay flat on the concrete, my arms and legs sprawled out. I breathed out, relived that she was okay.
I wiped myself clean of the blood as best as I could. I changed my shirt and stumbled into a taxi.
I held my torso, grabbing onto anything to aid me in walking.
I reached the house with and opened the fenced gate. I dragged my right foot as I headed up the stoned path. My body thumped against the door and I slumped on it after I rung the door.
"Taeyeon? Fuck!"
I grabbed Heechul's hand, desperate for life.
I breathed again when I woke up, taking in my surroundings to be my own house. I sat up and my body didn't like that. I ached, barely stretching as I grasped the edges of my bed to get myself up. I raise my head just to see myself bruised, battered, beaten like I had done to Nick.
I scoffed as I touched the gauze around my shoulder.
Get to work, hide what happened, act normal. So that is what I did. I did that but kept my distance from Stephanie. Our daily meetings stopped, turned to an every other day meeting. We went out sometimes, not frequently anymore. I refused to sleep over her house, and I told her he couldn't come into mine. I made some bogus excuse saying it was getting painted and the fumes wouldn't be good for her precious self.
"Why are you ignoring me?"
"I'm not."
"You keep cancelling our dates."
"You know I'm busy."
"I know but you usually Face Time me till 3 in the morning. We haven't done that in a week."
"Sorry."
"Taetae, is something wrong?"
"No, I need to go I'll call you later." I threw my phone on the bed after I closed the call. I went to take a shower, finding that difficult too. If only someone could help scratch my damn back. I couldn't even reach my ass crack without me pulling a muscle.
I had trouble slathering cream on myself. I couldn't reach my back properly. Both of my hands were basically swollen and numb that they were practically useless.
I couldn't even bandage my own hand let alone pull my pants up.
I slipped and fell backwards, my back landing with a thump and I groaned our in pain.
I didn't bother getting up. My back was so bruised I felt like a sore blob.
I turned to lay on my side, pulling at the blankets that hung off my bed.
I painstakingly reached for the pillow and tucked it under my bed as I draped the blanket over my loosely.
I slept for a couple of hours, waking up only when I accidently rolled on my back. I drifted in and out of sleep, crazed out of my mind because sleep was impossible laying on my side on the floor.
I laid there, dazed out of my mind. Sleep was clouding it and I could barely open my eyes. "Taetae?" I breathed out, hearing my nickname given to me by my little Fany. I panicked, I felt vulnerable and I felt so exposed. I didn't want her to see me like this.
"Fany-ah, don't come close please." I croaked, grabbing the sheets and covering myself more.
"Taetae. . ." I felt her tiny footsteps behind me and before I knew it she has kneeled down, looking at my back as she caressed it ever so slightly.
"What happened?" She said with her soft voice. I felt the tingles of her fingertips grazing my back.
"I fell."
"Please be honest?"
"A bus ran me over."
I can hear her heavy sigh before she pressed her fingers on my back, making me jerk in pain. I turned around quickly, resting on my arms glaring at her.
"What the fuckles. That hurts." I growled, swatting her hand away.
She had an angry scowl plastered on her face and I felt a little scared.
"Why can't you just tell me?"
"Because it doesn't concern you?"
"Were a couple. . . everything that involves you concerns me too." She said with a slight incline of her voice. God damn it.
"Fany-ah. Stop asking questions." I gritted my teeth annoyed at her constant pushing.
"So it's okay for you to ask me questions? Make me answer them as you demand to know every little bit of my life?"
"Don't be so stupid. It's for your safety." I sighed out and rolled over, putting my hand over my eyes.
"I don't even know what got you so beat up to the point that you're limping and you tell me not to ask stupid questions because apparently caring for you is stupid."
"Fany-ah." I growled, pissed off at her tone and pissed off that she knows I'm limping. I tried so hard not to show it but here I am.
"No, you've ignored me for the past week and it's not because I'm clingy it's because I worry about your being. I don't even know what's bothering you to act like this because you never tell me anything. Now that I think about it i don't even know you at all. I still don't know what you did to Nick that nigh-"
"Don't fucking say his name!"
"Why not?! Nick, Nick, Nick, fucking Nick! The Nick I don't know what happened to because you didn't me! For all I know you killed him!" She shoved me as hard as she could but I only moved half an inch.
"I didn't fucking kill him!" I sat up and ripped the covers off myself, breathing harshly.
A large part of me told myself to stop.
I've realized I get so angry at her so easily. I'm always mad. We always fight, and for what?
She once told me I was insecure.
I didn't argue with her on that, because it's true.
"Then why can't you just tell me what happened when you met him? Why can't you tell me why you're aching and limping? What's so hard Taeyeon-ah? Why can't you just. . . say something?"
"I-I don't know. I'm not used to sharing anything, so take it how you will."
"Then can we change that Taeyeon-ah? Tell me everything from now on?"
"Will that make you love me?" She froze and I sighed. I'll try again tomorrow.
"Before I tell you, there's something you need to know about me."
"You may leave me for this."
"Do you still want to hear it?"
She paused for a moment and bit her lip. Little Fany is so cute when she's like this. She occupied herself by making me take off
"I'm willing to tell you everything if that's what you want so much. But you can't have bits and pieces, you have to take it all."
"I'm asking if you'll accept me for who I am now, not for what I did or who I was in the past."
"Are you ready?"
"Is it bad?" She said in a small voice.
"Yeah, Id have to say so unfortunately." I slowly got off the floor like a grandpa, sitting on the edge of my bed as I patted the spot beside me.
She shuffled towards me with small steps and sat across me, crossing her honey legs.
I took monkey George who was beside my pillow and nestled it onto her lap. She had a small smile, always showing a happy grin when that damned stuffed animal is there.
"You know me as Kim Taeyeon, some business guy who makes a shit ton of money. Gets bad bitches and parties all night. Typical millionaire right?" She nodded her head, cocking a brow at the 'bad bitches' part.
"That's all a show because I-I used to be part of the triad group 18K." Her eyes widened and her fingers shyly touched mine.
"Y-You were a gangster?" She asked a little too loud. It's not like I wanted he whole damn world to know. But we were in my house, far far far away from civilization. Kind of.
"You make it sound uncool." I muttered. She punched me lightly in the shoulder, pouting adorably.
"Because it isn't Taetae. W-What did you do in the 18K?"
"Well, I was a red pole. A boss basically, you know a leader. There's many red poles in the organization, that's how I met Heechul and Kris. Thing is, we all answer under Uncle Lee. He's the chairman."
"Who's Uncle Lee?"
"Some old guy who took me in when I ran away. Honestly I didn't know what I got myself into but he took care of me."
"Anyways. We had our own parts of the city we controlled, be it the night market, clubs etc. I had the entire cities bars and clubs under my control. They paid me for protection and if anyone entered our territory they got a personal beating, from me.
"You know I've done things I'm not proud of but it is what it is."
"What did you do? Taetae?" She tugged at the bottom of my shorts, leaning in closer to me listening so intently.
To tell, or not to tell. That is the question.
It's not that I don't want to, it's just that I don't want to scare her off.
Well I've already started the conversation might as well finish it.
"You know the usual. Armed robberies, drug trafficking, illegal deals with businesses. But I specialized in killing. . . Let's just say I tortured okay? Let's leave it at that." She backed away just a bit. I felt a little hurt from that but whatever.
"I was really good at it. Only because I was so angry all the time."
"You said you were part of them, so you left?" I nodded.
"One day our members staked out a hideout and the triad wanted the guys wife. I was told to get information out of her, in any way I could. That meant a lot of things that I could do."
"When I entered the house and saw his wife laying on the floor already shot dead that kind of screwed me over."
"I don't know why, but it did. I knew they were talking about having children, moving into the suburbs and having a quiet life. But she died before they could do that."
"I realized I wanted out, because in any given moment I could end up dead on the floor just like her. People could be after you no matter how hard you try to hide or how far you try to run away."
"I got scared because that life wasn't what I planned on doing for the rest of my life. The day before I planned to leave I was down by the 7-11 wanting go buy myself some damn jellies. The next thing I knew I got jumped, kidnapped, tortured and buried alive in some remote area by a lake. They contemplated whether to drown me or to sink me 6ft under the dirt. I heard it all."
"I remember myself being buried alive. Noting that I'll die like this. I just went to go buy myself candy. But I'd die a slow pathetic death because of what I had done and who u was. Luckily Heechul saved me, he pulled me out of that Fucking dirt pit and saved my skinny ass. I left as quick as I could the next day, spooked out of my mind. I opted for immunity and freedom, knowing that I've been given a second chance."
"So here I am now, like 4 years later or some shit. Keeping it low because that's what I kind of wanted."
"And Nick?"
"Eh gave him a few gentle slaps here and there. Threatened him, starved him in a cellar, nothing too bad."
She gave me a disapproving glare, probably knowing it was a lot more harsh that what i said it was.
"He didn't die. Unfortunately." She slapped me on the shoulder.
"Ow."
"Where is he now." She asked, fiddling with her stuffed animal.
"I ran him to Canada."
"Oh."
Yeah, Canada.
There was like a two minute silence and I think she was just digesting what I had said.
"What about your leg? Your back?"
"Uh." She stole another daring glance at me pleading silently for me to tell her.
"So, a guy I knew, a real pain in the ass asked me to join again."
"He what?!" She shouted. "Are you going to?!"
"Well. I told him no and then you know how that turned out. I kind of have to go back."
She wailed out an I nodded my head and she threw her stuffed animal at me.
"I kind of have to."
"What do you mean you have to! You can't just go back to killing people! What are you going to do Tae? Run around scaring people for payment? Start robbing stores? The things you do, they're not right! Y-You're a criminal."
"Fany-ah, i didn't know that what I did was wrong for a long time. I was brought up like this since I was young. I didn't know."
"So you didn't know you were murdering people for no reason? Didn't know that extorting people for money was bad? You were 15 at that time, a teenager who was capable of making assumptions that what you were doing was not okay!"
"I didn't know! Can you blame me? Huh? Can you blame me Stephanie!"
"You're a criminal Taeyeon! Yes I can blame you!" She said with such disappointment in her voice. It came with a frustrated sigh and I didn't know what to say.
And that is the time I knew she was scared.
"Right. I am a criminal. So, feel free to leave me." I mumbled. She let go of my hand and gets up and walks away from me, opening the door and I watched her back disappear.
My heart was weary, I didn't want her to leave. Of course not, hell no. I didn't mean it literally. But could I also really blame her?
I would leave too.
Fuck.
I have to join. I can't let them take you away from me, I can't let them hurt you.
I don't have a choice.
My week was okay after she left. She literally left. I didn't text her call her or anything.
I was kind of just, there. Barely living making it through life I guess.
The thought of being back into the 18K made me forget what I was even doing. It slowed down time significantly and I can't even remember the last time I had breakfast.
I'm just so lost right now.
I thought Fany would be there for me, to help me. But I don't know.
I heard a couple of knocks on my office door before Kris just barged in with a handful of french fries. "Woah, you look like shit. Not that's it's anything unusual but wow you look a lot more shittier than usually." He says, fries spilling out of the corners of his mouth.
"Thanks." I flicked a fry off my des in which he picked up from the ground and still ate.
Ew.
"No problem."
He sat on my desk legs crossed for a couple of minutes boring his eyeballs right through me.
"The fucks wrong with you sunshine?" He says reaching over the desk to slap the side of my head.
"Piss off." I hiss, rubbing my head.
"Trouble in paradise?"
"She hates me."
"She called me today, ranting about how we were a bunch of criminals." He shook his head, clicking his tongue as he pulled a drawer out from my desk and taking my bag of jellies.
"Actually?" I asked.
"Yeah, she told me to tell you to meet her at her house today though. So here I am, in person delivering this personal message to you." He threw back the bag of candy at me getting up to leave.
"Why didn't she just call me or text me."
"Dunno, girls are weird. Go get your girl back, you look like shit without her."
"I look fine."
"Yeah, okay. Tell that your black eye you fuck."
I sat back down in my chair, rubbing my temples. Fuck it. I'm just going to tell her. Why would I hide it from her. After spending a few more hours coming up with what I was going to say to her I went to her house that night, not forgetting to pick up a cake.
I showed up and knocked twice, patting down my suit as I still wanted to impress her. It's weird, I crave her attention, her compliments. I loved her approval.
She opened the door and I waved a shy hello. I still couldn't take my eyes off her, she's so nail biting hair ripping pretty. So pretty, I couldn't stop checking her out from had to toe. She opened it a bit wider for me and I squeezed myself in, bending down to pat the white furry little guy. She didn't really say anything and neither did I.
I followed her as she went into the living room and I presented her the cake.
"What's the occasion."
"It's a sorry cake." She cocked a brow and lifted the cover up before stepping back and glaring at me.
The cake read 'Sorry for being a gangster. Can I be your Taengster?'
"Fany-ah. Kris told me you wanted to see me. I thought when you left through my door you never wanted to be involved with me ever again."
"I still care about you." She said quietly, taking the box of f cake from my hand and putting it on the kitchen island.
"I'll cut to the chase. I'm only doing this because they'll come for you if I don't."
"I don't care if they do Taetae, you won't let it happen." She said grabbing my two fingers gently, tugging on it. She held it with her entire palm and it looked so cute.
"It's out of my power, you know that."
"So you can slap Nick silly but you can't beat up your blackmailers?"
"He has more connections than me. I've seen the things he's done, he'll make sure he gets what he wants."
"I still don't want you to involve yourself with him. I don't want to date another gangster. I hate the word gangster." She mutters.
"I'm a good gangster." She pinched my side when I said that and i hoped on one foot trying to get away from her. My ankle was still healing.
"Taetae." She whines, pleading with her eyes.
"Don't worry, I'll make sure nothing happens to you. It'll be okay."
"Taetae." She mutters, closing the gap between us and tiptoeing to kiss me, but she wasn't tall enough so she ended up kidding my chin.
"I promise you I'll take care of it. I'll make sure. We'll get out of this alive." I held her close to me and she mentioned how my heart was beating irregularly fast. I felt myself warming up, my heat was probably turning red. Did I blush? Don't know because then next thing I knew was her grabbing my face and kissing me so fucking passionate.
We were so hungry for each other. I couldn't blame us.
The night was quiet and the familiar sounds of waves crashing the shoreline was always there. Except that sound was filled with me yelping every time Stephi pressed on my wound, and the scolding she gave me every time I moved away followed by the sound of me letting out a loud annoying obnoxious groans.
"Stop moving away! I need to get the new bandage on."
"No it hurts."
"Taeyeon-ah, please it's for your own sake."
"No."
"Bae." She sits closer.
"No."
"Taebear." She shuffles even more closer.
"No, get that cloth and you away from me."
"Fine, you can sleep on the floor and bleed for all I care." She says coldly.
Well fuck now she's mad at me.
I grab her hand and smile, her frown disappears and she wraps the bandage around my wound.
"Ow, how long are you ow, going to be doing this ow."
"Everyday, one in the morning and one after you shower."
"Oh god."
"You have to win Taeyeon-ah. I won't let them take you away from me. You can't die yet, we haven't conquered the world together yet." She looks at me with glossy worried eyes.
"Hey, don't worry about it. I'm experienced. I'm a big boy now I can handle it." I smile cheekily and she smiles again, oh how I love that smile.
"I don't want you to do bad things Taetae, you're not a bad person I know you're not a bad person. Tell me you're not a bad person."
"Fany-ah, I'll try my best to stay out of trouble. I'll be your undercover gangster, you know like those undercover cops. I'm a good guy." I said, thumping my chest. She scolded me, telling me how it's going to bruise more and I'll be a bloody ugly grape by the end of the week.
"Kay, let's get you to bed. I want to dry your hair." I happily complied. I crawled on the bed sitting across from her crossing my legs.
She grabs the towel from my shoulder gesturing me to come closer to her. I do what she says, not wanting to miss a moment with her.
I lean on to her resting my head on her shoulder as she dries my hair. It felt more like a massage than her just drying it but I wasn't complaining.
I smelt her usual sweet scent while resting my head on her shoulder; it was addicting and I never got used to it.
She took care of me like my mother would. She reminded me of my mother; a faint figure. Every morning when she did stay over, Stephanie would make breakfast for me before I even wake up. She'd lay out my clothes on a chair with my briefcase, reminding me of what to take to the office. Then she'll wake me up gently because everyone knows that if there's a fucking fire in the house I wouldn't be able to hear the alarm; but her touch always jolts me awake.
Before I met Stephanie, my mornings consisted of me rushing madly into the bathroom as I would be an hour late because I wouldn't hear my alarm clock. Then I'd rush down to the kitchen grabbing whatever was on the counter and stuffing it in my face eating is as fast as humanly possible. As soon as I step out the door I would forget something be it my phone, my briefcase, or my keys. I'd stay overtime at the office, sometimes forgetting to eat or even shower and my sleep schedule would be whack. There were times I barley got an hour in before going back to work again.
Then she came along and remedied all my problems, I felt like I got my shit together with her. I depend a lot on her, I knew that if she left my life would be a mess, and probably down the shitter.
"Done Taeyeon-ah." She said softly. Wiping the moisture on my forehead with the towel before throwing it in the laundry basket.
"Can I cuddle with you tonight or are you going to kick me for touching you?" I pull her into my arms and we lay down with my back against hers effectively spooning.
"I didn't even get to answer?" She protests.
"You can't deny cuddled with me. You don't get to answer it's either a yes or a yes." I say reaching to turn the lamp off.
"In your dreams!" She huffs and turns around. I laugh at her move. She's so cute.
"Aye, come back to oppa." I say pulling her closer.
"Oh wait, that reminds me." I say and she instantly turns around with wide eyes.
I sit up rummaging through the night stands to find my agenda. Stephanie's laying down eyeing me with a confused face.
I pull out a leather agenda, handing it to her.
"What's this?" She sits up unhooking the band and opening it.
"It's an agenda of what we're going to do together."
A map slips out from the book, she picks it up and opens it.
"What do these blue dots mean on the map?"
I smile at her confusion. "It's places I'm going to take you."
Her eyes shot up and she places the map down sitting on my lap.
"That map, is literally covered in blue dots, we're practically going everywhere Taeyeon-ah." She whines and pouts and I know what she's thinking; it's going to be expensive, how am I going to repay him, I don't him to waste money on me, I'm not a leech.
"Yeah that's the point, if we're going to conquer the world we might as well go everywhere. It was your dream was it not?" She shyly nods as I pick up the agenda again shoving it in her hands as I flip to a certain page.
To do list
Urgent:
World domination
Rob candy stores
Make fun of people walking down an aisle at fashion week
Meet some bogus rapper who isn't as good with his rhymes as me
Go to some place where it's apparently the 'happiest' place on earth (I'd rather choke on peas than go to some kid's place)
Start a fashion line with babygirl
Other top priorities:
Make Prince love me
Make Stephanie laugh
Make Stephanie smile
Make Stephanie not want to kill me
I look at her as she reads the list out loud, her eyes were filled with excitement and curiosity. I can't stop looking at her without feeling accomplished that I made her happy at the sight of seeing this. Romantic gestures gross me out but I had my fair share of watching those movies with her; picking up some helpful tips. Shout out to Channing Tatum and Ryan Gosling.
"There's still more to add, it's just a little list babe. I can't wait till this journal gets filled with your ridiculous requests because knowing me, I'd probably be dragged to do that."
She muttered 'you're whipped' and I sighed, nodding in agreement.
She suddenly stopped reading and slapped the book on my thigh. "You're going to Disneyland whether you like it or not! Choke on peas my ass Tae!" She took back the book and made her way down the list, chuckling occasionally.
"But most of these are my dreams?"
"What's your is mine, we'll do them together yeah?"
"You're adorable." She cooed.
"When am I not?"
"You always say that." She whined.
"Well. Get used to it babe. Also, get used to the fact that we're literally going to do everything together. From taking a shit together, going grocery shopping together to filling up the car with gas to-" She cupped my mouth with her hand cutting me off.
"I get it. Annoying Tae." She said with a frown, probably tired from all my blabbering.
I pull her close and we spoon again, I get lost in her hair and we intertwine our legs and arms. From a far we look like a tangled mess of limbs.
I patted her bum and she shot me a disgusted look, hollering out 'byuntae' and I still can never get over the fact that she's so loud. She's also too energetic, I can't keep up with her.
"Here, your payment for today since you had to put up with me for the past week." I handed her a bunch of coins wrapped in the blue paper.
"Days, 2,3,4,5,6,7,8. Sorry I couldn't give them to you in person on that day but here you go." She stacked them all nicely on the nightstand and crawled back into my arms. "Don't lose them by the way, those coins are solid gold, they're worth $50 each."
"What?!" She said, turning around to face me but I made her face away from me as I chuckled into her shoulder. She kept protesting how I go way out for a simple thing but I shrugged.
"Goodnight piggy." I press a kiss on the back of her neck and snuggle in closer, good night my future wife to be that I'm going to have 10 kids with so I can have a little army of small Taeng's running around.