The Unceasing Path

Ch 22 - 暗戰

Unsanctioned War - wherein war is hell, and all hell is about to break loose.

[Bathroom, a nice condo, Tsing Yi, Hong Kong.]

The water felt good, running coolly over her hands. The chafed skin around her wrists welcomed the relief. Ami splashed some on her face, trying to wake up.

No such luck.

According to the newspaper, 3 weeks had passed since the night of the diamond deal. It didn't feel right. 3 weeks gone in the blink of an eye. Several blinks. Ami turned off the tap. The water gurgled away down the drain leaving her alone in a room that was entirely too silent.

Sometime during those weeks, Minako had died. That didn't feel right either. Ami still wasn't sure if that was a dream or not. Wasn't it just yesterday that she and Minako were at that temple by the beach, making plans for the future. How could Minako be dead? Why would Hotaru say something so clearly impossible?

Ami looked up. Her reflection stared back again and again in the kaleidoscope that was the bathroom mirror. She traced the spiderweb of fractures with one finger. Hotaru said that she broken the glass after finding out that Minako was dead. An image came to mind, of herself smashing the glass in a fit of rage. It like watching someone else in a movie. A movie she never wanted to see. Didn't feel right.

There was a hole in the wall that was supposedly her fault as well. Ami could see it if she looked up. A jagged circle in the drywall and a hint of the metal frame beneath. She walked over and felt the edge of the fissure. Plaster crumbled away at her touch.

The hole was real, the mirror was broken, and her hands were bruised. The evidence all agreed: Hotaru didn't lie. Minako was dead.

Ami closed her eyes, trying to escape into the past. She couldn't remember punching the mirror, or whatever she did to the wall, but all that had clearly happened. Memories flickered, jumbled and confusing. Darkness. Red. Black. Hotaru, running away and hiding in the corner of the bedroom. The sharp prick of a needle. More darkness. More flashes of colour. Suddenly, there was Hotaru - crying this time. Ami remembered trying to reach her friend, but being unable to lift her arms. Hotaru was apologizing. Ami didn't know why. She saw herself yelling at Hotaru, "Let me go!","I have to go!", and Hotaru standing firm, a black silhouette against the window

After that, there was nothing. Nothing until this morning – or at least what she thought was morning. All Ami knew was that she woke up in an empty apartment, with the sun shining on her face. It was strangely peaceful. There was a note on the bedside table.

"Ami,

If you wake up and I'm not here, I'm at the clinic. There is food and a bottle of painkillers in the kitchen if you need. 2 pills every 4 hours, max – and not on an empty stomach please. Otherwise, please try and get some rest. I'll be home as soon as soon as I can. Shift ends at 10. Don't wait up, and don't make me regret uncuffing you from the bed.

-Hotaru."

Hotaru was at work – at the clinic with patients who deserved her. Fair enough. Ami had dragged herself out of bed. The food and painkillers had sounded good. After that, she could work out what to do next. She had been sitting out on the sidelines for too long.

That had been the plan – until she saw it. The newspaper.

It was a newspaper. Cheap paper and cheaper writing. Greasy from having been wrapped around a take out box, but still legible. She had taken one look at it. Read the headline, saw the picture, then she had stumbled to the bathroom to throw up.

Triad Wars Continue! 1 Dead in Mong Kok Tenement Car Explosion.

She recognized the scene. She recognized the car. Makoto was dead.

A part of her brain was already moving on, working out the details of how to take down Chiba now that the original plan was no longer viable.

Makoto was dead.

According to the article, this was the second car bomb this week. Suspected Triad dragonhead Luna Mao Xing was killed in the first one.

and Makoto was dead.

She had lived through this many times already. She had planned for it. Considered it as a possible outcome every time they conducted a mission together. It was only logical. They were undercover cops. Death was a risk that came part and parcel with duty.

Makoto was dead.

Some nights, she would jolt awake in bed, her heart pounding and her face wet with tears. There were anxious moments before she was able to establish that she had just been dreaming.

Was she dreaming now?

No. She was wide awake, she knew that. This was real.

Makoto was dead.

She had expected it to hurt more. Should she be screaming and crying right now? She wanted to. Makoto deserved that much at least - but the tears weren't there. Instead, there was...nothing. She was selfish to the bone. Her only thoughts right now were of herself. Thoughts of how she would never see Makoto again. Never wake up in her arms again. Never look into those warm green eyes that made her feel so safe ever again. Never hear her voice or her laugh ever again.

Makoto was dead, and it was all her fault. She was supposed to protect Makoto. They were partners. They were supposed to have each other's backs. Instead, she had been here, hiding from the world in Hotaru's apartment because she had convinced herself that it was the right course of action.

Godammit, why was she so weak? After everything, she was still so damn weak. A coward.

Based on the newspaper article, triad violence was escalating. For all their efforts, nothing had changed.

She should never have let Makoto get involved. She should have stood her ground and told Makoto to shove off that first day in the interrogation room. If only they had never met. Curse that bastard Chiba for bringing them together. She should have killed the Chief right then and there. If only she had known. How could she be so stupid?

And now Mako was gone. It was her fault.

Her fault. Chiba's fault. The triads. The city. In spite of all the corruption and pressure, Makoto had remained pure right to the end. She had died in the line of duty, trying to make Hong Kong a better place and no one would ever know. That the city didn't stop and mourn the loss of it's finest was enough evidence for Ami. Hong Kong didn't deserve Makoto – an officer that honest and loyal, and dedicated and...good. The world would keep churning as it did. The police would continue to blunder around, being self important power tripping pricks, and the triads would just replace Makoto with some dumb lonely teenager trying to be cool. The cycle of violence would continue on and on and on.

Ami walked over to the window. She looked at the streets below. None of them deserved Makoto. People...they had to learn and there was only one way teach. Only one way to be heard. She tossed the newspaper down on the table. The photograph of Makoto's burning car landed face up. Ami stared at it for a moment longer before flipping it over and pushing up out of her seat. There was work to be done. It was best if she left before Hotaru came home. Hotaru would try to stop her from leaving. Ami didn't want that. She didn't want to hurt a friend. Another friend. Why did she only hurt her friends? Why did she only seem to hurt the people she loved? Enough was enough. There was plenty of pain to go around.

Ami rolled her shoulder, testing her limits. She was still in recovery, but no matter. She was strong enough. She had to be. It hurt, but not enough to stop her. Nothing was going to stop her. Not anymore.

They were going to remember this. All of them. For centuries.

For Mako.

[Behind a school, later that night]

Benny was kind of nervous. He wasn't used to being out this late at night. He didn't have many friends or a girlfriend or any kind of social life worth mentioning. Normally, he would be home studying, but that was a waste of time. Even if he had the grades to get into university, his family would never be able to pay for it. Not the way that Mom gambled. Benny frowned and kicked at a can that some jerk had thoughtlessly tossed aside. He cringed, listening to it clatter down the dimly lit pathway. That was a stupid move, drawing attention to himself like that when he was alone and carrying 5000$ cash inside his pocket. Fortunately, no one else was around. Where was Tony anyways? He wasn't used to carrying this kind of money around. It had taken him a long time to come up with the entry fee that Tony's bosses had asked for, but he had done it. If this went well, it could lead to a whole world of opportunities. He could make his money back, and then some.

Benny started to get nervous again. Nothing ventured, nothing gained right? It wasn't like he had anything better to do with his life, and really, the Triads weren't so bad. At least they were upfront about things. As long as you didn't mess with them, nothing bad happened to you...and Tony seemed like a pretty cool guy too. He had a nice car and seemed pretty successful. He wouldn't screw him over...would he? He really seemed to care. Tony was always asking him about how his day was, and took an interest in his crappy life.

Ah! Speak of the devil! Benny straightened up. He puffed out his chest a little in an attempt to make a better impression on his potential future boss.

"Hey! You came!"

"Yeah. Of course I did. You called me right?" Tony opened a pack of cigarettes and held it out. "Cigarette?" Benny took one eagerly. Tony laughed and shoved the whole pack into his hands "Take. Take. Don't worry about it. I've got plenty. I know a guy so I get them cheap. So! How's it' going? You look kind of stressed out. That kid from class still bothering you?"

"Ugh. Sam from class 2-A? Yeah. He's a total douche."

"Hey bro, just say the word, and me and the boys will take care of it. You've got us watching out for you now. You can tell people you're my little brother. No one will ever mess with you again."

"Really?"

"Really. That's what being in the Triad means! It's a brotherhood. We look out for each other. You got the money right?"

"Yeah, I do. Right here." Benny took the envelope with his life savings out of his backpack. This was it. Here goes everything...

"Awesome. I knew you had it in you kid. Hey! Now that's it's official, it's time you met the rest of the boys. They're all back at the car. We're heading over to the Bang Bang Club tonight. You in? You should come. We got to celebrate yo!"

Tony held his hand out expectantly. Benny was about to hand the money over when a shadow fell over them both.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you. He's a liar."

A stranger appeared. A tiny woman, back lit against the flickering streetlights. Benny froze. The woman's voice left no room for arguments.

"Hey! Where did this crazy broad come from?"

"He's a liar you know." The woman spoke as though Tony weren't there. "He lies. Being a triad. That's not what it means."

"What the fuck are you talking about? Go away and mind your own business! Are you looking to start something? I'm not afraid to hit a woman you know."

"This is my business." The woman gave Tony the briefest of looks before turning back to Benny. Benny took a step back unconsciously. "Would you like me to show you what being a triad really means?"

"Hey bitch! I'm talking to you!" Tony flew at the woman, fist raised to clock her one hard in the head. The woman sidestepped the blow neatly. Benny shouted a warning, too late to be helpful. Not that he knew who he was warning anyways. The fight was over in the blink of an eye. Benny didn't see how it happened, he just saw that Tony was lying flat on the ground, his arm twisted behind his back at what looked like a painful angle. The woman knelt on his back, keeping him pinned. Despite the size difference it was obvious that Tony was in trouble. Benny hesitated, unsure of what to do next.

"HEY! GUYS! GUYS!" WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU? I NEED SOME BACKUP HERE!"

"They aren't coming. You're on your own. How does it feel? To be alone."

That was when Benny noticed that the woman had a knife. It was small, but no doubt it was sharp. More importantly, it was pressing right against Tony's jugular. Benny started to back away. This had to be some crazy Triad shit. It was too much. He didn't want to be involved anymore. With any luck, he could just sneak away while they were fighting and pretend none of this ever happened.

He hadn't even gone two steps when the woman's head snapped up.

"No. Stay." She growled. Once again, Benny froze. "You need to see this. You need to learn. You all do. Do you have a cell phone?" Benny nodded mutely. "Good. Start recording. I want you to remember this."

"Do you know who I am you stupid bitch? I'm Big Tony! I run with the Soy Street Gang."

"I know who you are. The better question is, do you know who I am?" The woman twisted Tony's arm harder. Tony screamed. "I need information. Tell me. Who owns you?"

"I'm no snitch!? I'll never tell!"

The pocket knife flashed silver, then red. "Who owns you?"

"OW! Wait! What the fuck? Are you crazy?!"

"Who owns you?"

Benny's hands shook. He tried to keep the cell phone steady and failed miserably. He didn't dare stop and run away though. He watched, through the screen of his phone, as the woman cut another line on Tony's cheek.

"Don't! Please don't!" The acrid smell of urine filled the air. "It's Gordon! You want Gordon right? Gordon Liu?! He works down at the docks! You have business with him! Not me! Please! Let me go!"

The woman nodded, then slowly, she drew the knife across Tony's face again. Again and again. Again again and again. Up and down, side to side. Tony's screaming and sobbing eventually gave way to silence as he passed out from shock. Benny had never been so scared in his life. This woman was insane...and now, she was staring right at him. She stood up. Benny almost threw up, seeing what she had done. The word "TRIAD" was cut across Tony's forehead.

"At the end of the day, this is what a triad is. A bully and a coward. Don't start down this road. I promise you: you won't like where it ends." The woman flicked the blood off the knife before wiping it on her shirt. She looked straight into the camera. Benny held it steady, too terrified to move. "Go home. Go back to your family and friends. Tell everyone you know. Share that video. Spread the word. And most of all, I want you to remember. This is what happens if you join the triads. Cowardice, blood and betrayal. Remember that."

Makoto chuckled nervously. "Damn. That was intense." She gave a low whistle. "Would you really react like that if I died though? I can't imagine you lashing out like that."

Ami went still. Makoto looked down sharply, her brain taking it's sweet time catching up with her mouth as Ami carefully exhaled the breath she was holding.

"I would." Ami burrowed deeper into her arms. "I don't need to imagine."

If she weren't busy holding Ami on the couch, Makoto could have kicked herself for not thinking before she spoke.

"D-point." Makoto whispered. There was no need to elaborate.

"I'm sorry." Ami bit her lip. "I didn't mean to bring that up. I don't know what I was thinking."

"We've never talked about it have we?"

"What's there to say?"

They fell into a silence, each lost in their own private memories of that terrible day. Makoto remembered the way her heart beating so fast that she thought it had burst into flame. She remembered gasping for breath and then, that surreal moment when her heart fluttered and stopped. Everything was quiet - the silence deeper and more profound than any silence she had ever heard before - and the pain had faded so far away. She had looked down at her friends, and in that moment, she had seen how much she was loved.

Ami was right. What was there to say? How could she tell Ami that dying at D-Point wasn't so bad? It had been...peaceful. She had felt a sense of acceptance. The perfect absence of fear and doubt. In that moment, she had no regrets. She'd done everything she'd set out to do to the best of her ability, and maybe, just maybe, she'd get to see her parents again. That wasn't something she could explain to anyone, least of all her friends.

Makoto held Ami tighter, trying to assuage the guilt gnawing at the pit of her stomach.

"It's ok Ami." Makoto whispered the soothing words automatically. Ami was shivering and she didn't know what else to do.

"After you died, the world stopped. You'd died for the mission, and so, that was it. Nothing else mattered. I'm sorry. I never cried for you."

"Ami, I – no. Please. I'm the one who should be sorry. Who's the idiot that fell for the illusions right?"

"I still see them, in my dreams. I remember. Black skies. Lightning all around... and the cold. It was so cold." Ami whimpered and pulled a little bit tighter into herself. "Then I see it. Between the flashes. Someone, tied up and dangling in front of me. It's Usagi. Or Minako, or Rei. Chibi-Usa. Hotaru. My mother. Father. Anyone. Everyone. I don't know. It doesn't matter. It's you. All I know is that you're dying. You're screaming. The vines are choking you. You're bleeding out. I can save you. I know I can. I run, and I run, but you're just out of reach." The words tumbled out faster and faster. "Every step I take, you slide further and further away from me. The ground is caving in between us. I try to run faster, but something is holding me back. Suddenly, there are vines wrapped around my legs, my chest, my arms. They're getting tighter. I hear voices now. They are telling me that this is what I deserve. There's someone holding the other end like a leash. I want to turn around. I want to fight. Make them let go, but I can't. I'm too scared. I don't want to see, but I know. I always know."

There was a pause, gravid with things unsaid. Makoto waited, not wanting to break the moment in case Ami found it within to share. It was morbid, but she was curious to know more of the monsters living in Ami's head. She wanted to know more about what Ami had always kept to herself.

Ami however, remained silent. Makoto understood. She did what she always did to get through. She looked for something good, anything, and pushed back from there.

"Hey! Come to think of it, you haven't had any nightmares in a while, have you?"

"You're right. I haven't. Not about that at least." Ami blinked in surprise, then gave a self deprecating chuckle. "It's only been 15 years. Maybe I've finally started to come to terms with things."

"Maybe taking some of it out on your Triad doppelganger is helping. "

Ami rolled her eyes. "It's just a silly story. I think you're reading too much into it now."

"Maybe not! You can't deny that you are absolutely horrible to your fictional self and – um...you know, thanks to your story, I think that was the first time we've ever really talked about what happened that day. Really talked. I-ahhh...I need to apologize too." Makoto had to confess. If she didn't now, then she would always know she had lied to Ami, even by omission. That wasn't something she was willing to live with. "I'm really glad I died first. I'm sorry I put you all through that but if we had to do it all over again, I wouldn't do it any differently. I'm sorry I'm selfish like that. I can't help it."

"Mako..." Ami trailed off. Makoto flushed, her cheeks burning with shame as she readied herself to see how disappointed Ami was for her weakness. "No. You're not selfish. You love us. You love us so much and so deeply that you'd rather die than see anything happen. That's not something you should ever apologize for. You're such a good person." Ami reached up and lifted her head with a tender smile. Makoto looked into her watery blue eyes – so full of kindness understanding – and knew how safe she was here. Ami would never judge her. "I think I know why I have been having less nightmares. How could I be afraid of anything with you by my side?"

"Just doing my job!" Makoto smiled bravely and flexed her arms. "Solider of protection, at your service!"

Ami giggled. "You are so much more than that Mako-chan. So much more." The feeling of Ami's fingertips brushing lightly over her biceps made Makoto giggle as well. "Although I admit, I can't argue with this."

"I love you Ami. You know, you're much tougher than you give yourself credit for yeah?"

"I love you too. You don't know how much it means to me to hear you say that."

"Well it's true!" Makoto thought back over all the adventures and heartbreak that she and Ami and their friends have experienced together. "We've had interesting lives haven't we?"

"Yes we have, and now here we are." Ami rotated herself on the couch so that she was lying down, loooking up form where she was using Makoto's lap as a pillow. "This is pretty much perfect isn't it? I'm really comfortable right now."

"Same. Kind of hungry though."

Someone's stomach rumbled in the silence. Makoto wasn't sure if that was her or Ami, but judging by the light blush on Ami's face, it was probably Ami. "Yeah. Me too, now that you mention it. Any of that cherry pie left in the fridge? I've been thinking about it all day."

"Only one way to find out!" Makoto jumped up, unceremoniously dropping Ami's head back onto the couch. "Come on!'

A.N.

mmm. Pie. I like pie.

Cheers,

-Drift.

Up Next:

Ch 22: 知法犯法 - Law Against Law - wherein there are conflicts, even on the right side of the law.