Vernon, Ptenuia, and Harry were anticipating the return of Dumbledore, and Dudley, from their supply run. "What's taking so long!" Vernon spat. "Maybe their dead Ptenuia said gravely.
After a while of worrying, finally Dudleys truck pulled in. Everybody ran to see if they were alright. "Dumbledore!" Vernon said cheerfully. "What about Dudley!" Ptenuia panicked. "No., no." Dumbledore barely said audibly, as he shook his head. Ptenuia then collapsed to the ground and began weeping bitterly, as Dumbledore began rolling his eyes. "What happened!" Vernon exclaimed. "Long story, I'll explain it tomorrow." Dumbledore liquified, as he busted ass into the house.
Dumbledore ran upstairs to the bathroom, and closed the door. Dumbledore used his deluminator, to put light in the bathroom. Doing that Dumbledore found his wand. Dumbledore then removed his clothes, and conjured a shower. Dumbledore then examined himself in the mirror. He looked at his hair and his beard, and noticed that the parts Dudley pulled, was starting to bleed. "Damn!" Dumbledores grated, as he conjured up a razor, and began to shave his hair and his beard. " Get out of my head!" Dumbledore screamed as he thought of his betrayal of Dudley.
Moments later Dumbledore came downstairs. Vernon had put Ptenuia on a chair, and he was conforting her. However they were all alarmed to see a bald Dumbledore coming downstairs. "Dumbledore, you didn't meet our new member to this group." Vernon said. "This is Ryan Moore, our former mailman." Vernon charmingly introduced. Dumbledore spat on his hand and shook his hand.
Now everyone was having a memorian for Dudley. "We remember Dudleys abundance of character, he died as he lived, in grace".. Vernon tearfully concluded. "Albus would you like to say something?" Vernon asked. Dumbledore then stuttered. "Please, I want to know his death had meaning!" A distraught Ptenuia spoke out. "We were about done.." Dumbledore began. "My leg was swollen up, we were down to our last bullets, it was bad." Dumbledore paused. "I gotta feed my family, shit that's what he said!" Dumbledore proclaimed as Harry glanced up. "He gave me his backpack and shoved me ahead..." Run!" He said so I ran, and when I looked back..." Dumbledore paused as Ptenuia understood what he meant. "If it wasn't for Dudley, I wouldn't be alive, and that goes for all us!" Dumbledore concluded with a fart, as he ignored Ryan the mailman's doubtful face.