Kim Taeyeon
I walked downstairs to see an empty house. But with Prince running around begging me for pats and belly rubs.
I went over to the quaint kitchen, hating how my self takes up a third of the space. Claustrophobic ass counters.
A nice plate of cupcakes were sitting on the counter waiting for me to devour them in one shot. I mean, get you a Fany that bakes you cupcakes am I right?
I engulfed a dozen before laying on the coach bloated, sugared out and going to die from diabetic explosion.
Prince kept yapping trying to climb on the couch, paws scratching the bottom of the sofa.
"Look, I know you don't like me but I like you. The least you can do is not make a mess so your mom won't yell at me." He barked at me and wagged his tail. He disappeared and came back with his red leash in his mouth, laying on the floor looking at me e with beady eyes.
"I'm not exercising, go walk yourself." He came closer to me and went on his hind legs, standing like a human.
"No." I said, pushing the small puppers away. He sprung back up, whimpering like I stepped on his favourite toy.
"You're so fucking needy, just like Fany." He growled and showed his teeth. I sighed and dragged myself up from the couch in which he ran around my feet excited.
"See, just like Fany. Where do you get all your energy? I can't keep up with you." I clasped the metal hook onto his collar and this little guy zoomed past me and I stumbled on my feet, letting the leash lead me out.
I ran around the neighbourhood with Prince, everything he saw he ran to. When he ran, I ran. When he stopped I stopped. We sat on the edge of the curb, watching the cars drive by us.
Just a man and his dog.
"So, meet any girls yet?" I asked. I turned my head and looked down at the small fluffer. He tilted his head probably thinking about ways to chew my slipper. "So that's a no?" I said, he wagged his tail in response.
"Hey, you're a handsome guy, I'm pretty sure you can meet some pretty little lady." He laid on his stomach, and stuck his tongue out.
"I can set you up on a date Prince. I know a few puppy ladies myself. You can meet your Princess. Heh." He pouted and stood on all 4 paws, marching away with such sass that I just had to follow him.
I huffed, not wanting to move my legs. Exercising is too much.
We walked by the park which was hard because other people were walking around with their dogs too and I felt like I was watching a Playdog. Prince man, he's such a lady killer. Swooning other lady dogs with his gracious fluffy white hair, showing off that cute face as he strutted his butt off.
I just walked wherever Prince walked but when I set my eyes on a building it looked so familiar.
We went around the corner, circling to the entrance and I finally knew where I was.
Fany's school that she teaches at. Prince looked at me with those mischievous eyes and he even gave me a wink. This dog gave me a wink.
"Um. I don't know what your plans are but." He tugged the leash and walked closer to one of the windows and as I approached it I couldn't see through it. The window was too high.
Prince barked and jumped, climbing onto one of the benches and it clicked. I stood on the bench, tiptoeing to see the window and holy fuck this dog is a genius.
How he figured out Stephanie was there beats me but holy crap.
I got the chance to see my babygirl be a teacher. Damn it I wanna be her student, I wanna be one of those puny kids sitting in a circle watching her as she read them a stupid book.
I wanna be that kid who got to cling onto her during playtime. I wanna take naps as she watches over me.
I sound like I wanna be her kid. I laughed out loud, chuckling at my day dream.
I tiptoed on my feet, cursing how I can't grow taller than 6'4. I caught a glimpse of her upper body, loving that yellow bright sun dress on her. Why did her hair have to be swept to the side? Because I can see her milky white skin from all the way over here and I just want to grab her and hide her from everyone else in the world because she's so precious.
I didn't realize she found me till we both stared at each other, she looked at me amused with a smile and I froze in my spot not knowing what to do.
I look like a creep, my head just above the window looking like a damn stalker.
"Taetae." She cooed as she opened the window sill, looking at me with such precious eyes.
I stumbled back, biting on my tongue forming sentence structures in my head trying to defend myself. I stepped on my heel and fumbled back, basically falling off the bench.
"Omo, Tae? Are you okay?" I got up and quickly patted myself showing her my million dollar smiles as Prince sat between my legs.
"H-Hi."
"Hey, I'm kind of in the middle of something."
"Y-You're pretty." I said. I mentally kicked myself. That's all I could say? She's my girlfriend and that's literally all I could say.
She smiled with crescents that I loved so much but I nervously gulped as an army of tiny kids no taller than her knees all crowded around her. Some were jumping up to see what the commotion was outside and I felt threatened by that army.
"I'll wait till your finished."
"I won't be done in another 3 hours."
"It's okay I can watch you. . . outside. . . here. . . for the next 3 hours." My spine shivered in fear, god what am I supposed to do for the next 3 hours?
But a part of me wanted to see watch her. She's so pretty.
"Okay, have fun." She closed the window and I stood there baffled. I thought she'd invite me in.
Aw
But I guess it would be a little inappropriate, having some weird stranger in your class who's ogling the teacher.
Heh, that's me.
I sat outside under the window, leaning my back against the brick wall as I threw a stick over and over again for Prince's amusement.
Her husky but bright voice filled my ears, making me smile at the thought of her looking after 10 tiny Taeng's.
I heard the occasional yapping of kids but I mean, they're kindergartners can't blame them.
I suddenly had the bright urge to cross the street, picking up Prince so he won't run away and ruin my plan.
I went into the store, smiling at how happy she'll be.
"Hey old guy, 17 of those in different colours please." I said, taking out my wallet.
With my item in hand I trekked my way back to the school, standing in the bench once again.
"Ms. Hwang!" A chubby little kid said while pointing at me. I chuckled evilly, knowing I'm disturbing her class but I can't help it.
I'm a little jealous over how each and everyone of those 15 kiddies have her fullest undivided attention.
Meanwhile I was sitting outside under the window sill a while ago waiting for her to be done so she can attend to me after.
I feel like this: :(
A childish kid face.
Our eyes met again and I saw her sigh, but with those cute ass eye smiles.
She said something to the kids and they all lined up single file, jumping in their spots.
As she opened the door they all disappeared but then reappeared in the schools entrance, running over to me as they crowded my legs.
Wow they are small. They kept grabbing my pants, clawing at me for the thing in my hand.
"Taetae, balloons? Really?" She asked, stepping outside looking oh so perfect.
"You wouldn't pay attention to me, so yeah." I said proudly, handing everyone a plastic sack of air. They loved it, they loved how I was holding a bouquet of floating plastic colourful balloons.
Fany gave up and just let them play outside, sitting down on the bench as I walked over to her and gave her a pink one.
I asked for her hand and she gladly gave it to me. I lifted her pointer finger up and tied the string of the balloon on it.
I made a pretty little bow and looked up to see my creation. I glanced down and smiled.
"Thanks for the cupcakes by the way. They were really good, I had a sugar coma after I ate like half of them."
"Tae. . those weren't for you."
"What do you mean those weren't for me? Who bakes a bunch of cupcakes and leaves them on the counter?"
"They were for my kids. Tae, you're baking with me then."
"Wait, no. Please I'm bad at cooking. The best thing I can make is cereal." I pleaded, imaging the horror of baking.
She shook her head, mad at me for eating her precious cupcakes.
"I didn't know! They were really good though." She shrugs, moving her finger slightly. The balloon bobs up and down at her movement and then she unties it and let's it go.
I shrieked, baffled at how she can let it go so fast.
"That was $0.25." I said as I held my hand out, gesturing for payment.
She dug into her dress pocket and handed me a blue crayon.
"That crayon is worth $0.35." She said with a slight amazement in her eyes.
"It's priceless because it's from you." I said with such confidence you might've thought I was borderline flirting with her. Which I was.
"I can't smack you for that to be honest." She pinched my cheeks and kissed my forehead. One of her students tugged at my pants, telling us that we're gross.
"Mr. Balloon guy? Can you push me on the swing?" She asked. She had a really cute cat shirt and had pigtails, reminding me of my little sister.
I crouched down meeting my eyes with the little girl. She's so small damn it. "Call me Taeyeon." I pointed to myself.
I was never really good with kids. I'm usually really awkward.
"Taetae." She says so damn happily. I deadpanned.
"What's with that nickname? Everyone fu-" Fany kicked my shin, glaring at me.
Right. I shouldn't swear.
"Taetaes a cute name." She quipped and the little girl nodded in agreement with Ms. Hwang. I felt another tug on my pants and I swear to god I'm going to be pants less by the end of today.
She's going to pull it off at this rate.
"Taetae!" The little girl said, pulling on my fingers. I tied the rest of my balloons onto Prince and I thought he was going to float away but he didn't.
Fat doggy. I love the small guy so much.
I sat the little girl on the swing and pushed her gently. She turned around and with a frown asked me to push her harder.
Is this what it's like to have kids?
Before the bell rang she gathered up her heard of children, getting them to pack up to go home.
I watched from the door frame of the classroom as I saw her help put on backpacks for the kids, button up their jacket reminding them it's a little windy outside.
The bell rang and they all dispersed like tiny fish in a pond. I held my hand out and Ms. Hwang graciously accepted it as I helped her carry a box of art supplies to the car.
"Tae!" I groaned whisking at the bowl aggressively, spilling out clumps of flour everywhere.
We were back at home now, baking cupcakes. You know, to make up for the ones I ate. Honestly though, I thought they were for me.
"What! You told me to mix and I'm mixing! It needs a little tender loving care!"
"You're making a mess Taetae!" She scolded me by slapping my hand away but I turned away from her and moved the bowl with me.
"Leave me alone woman! This is teaching me the fundamentals!"
"Fundamentals for what?! You can't even mix batter properly!" She scolded while tying her pink Hello Kitty apron for me.
On the contrary, I still think I look manly as ever.
"Fundamentals for making Meth!" I hollered, cackling like a witch would when stirring her cauldron. My evil laugh sounded great.
"Oh no you are not doing that!" She pinched my side and I slid the bowl further away from her, standing on the counter far far away from my small sprout.
"Taetae! Get down from there! You're going to slip!"
"I'm not going to slip! Now tell me what else am I supposed to do to this mixture of crap?"
"Put the eggs in the bowl."
I reached down and grabbed two eggs, putting them in the bowl.
"Are you serious?"
"What."
"Crack the eggs and put the eggs in the bowl! Not put the entire whole egg inside shell and all!"
"You said put eggs in bowl. So I did. I put eggs in bowl." Then it hit me. I took it literally.
"Oh wait." I took the eggs out and cracked the shell, putting the contents of whatever was inside into it while discarding the shell.
"Oopsies." I said, rubbing the back of my neck while sending her an apologetic smile for my stupidity.
"I hate baking with you." She hissed, wiping the counter tops.
I lost my patience with baking. Stupid cupcakes.
I continued to mix this concoction but had the bright idea of flicking flour in her face with a spatula like catapult to entertain myself.
I told myself that an angry HellFany isn't funny. But a bit entertaining.
"Clean. It. Up."
"If I don't?"
"You're about to get these hands Kim." She hissed and momma bear is scary when she's mad.
I am Taeng bear, a cute fluffy jelly bear. I am scared.
"Oi. Get the fuck away from me you fucking piggy." I said, running around the kitchen island with my spatula pointed to her.
We ran around in circles like a cat chasing a mouse. I climbed over the kitchen island when she switched directions and I grabbed the bag of flour.
"Move a finger and this entire place will rain flour." She flipped me off and I sprinkled the flour generously everywhere in the air. Bad idea though because I continued to run around covering myself in white powder I slipped.
I slipped and fell on the floor as my eyes doubled in size at the incoming rocket pig charging towards me.
"Oh no." I grabbed the counter but that was a mistake because there was another bag of flour on that counter and I tipped it over, spilling it over the both of us.
"You look like ghost." I pointed out.
"You look like Kaonashi." She fired back which I took as a compliment. Kaonashi is handsome.
When stayed like this for what seemed forever. Her laying on top of me as she absentmindedly played with the collar of my shirt was everything to me.
We shared glances at some points but I felt so nervous, giddy and shy when we did.
I wiped her face clean with the palms my hand as she did the same. She brushed my hair back, rubbing my cheek with her thumb and I felt so captivated by her.
"You're really pretty." I mumbled. My hand rubbed her back gently.
"Your way with words have been a little, lacking lately." I chuckled as her little tease. I fixed her bangs, putting them back in place. Kind of. Somewhat.
"Oh my fair lady Stephanie. I wear you in my heart as you are the worlds brightest star, gleaming with brilliance and as scorching hot as the sun." I can't believe I just said that.
She laughed out loud, mumbling an 'idiot' against my lips as her eyes turned into my favourite eye smiles.
She sighed and her laughter died down. She lifted her head from my cheek as she placed a last kiss on my lips rather quickly.
"You're cleaning up this mess." I groaned and she stood up trying to yank me off the floor. I didn't budge just because.
"Come on Taengo, I'll give you a kissy and a back massage."
"Will you give me a kiss and a back massage wearing nothing but lingerie." She shook her was and I was left laying there.
"Byuntae." She muttered, letting go of my hand and stepping over me to put the pan into the oven.
She guided me through the rest of the recipe but not without some more scoldings, pinching, face palming, and a few more 'I hate baking with you!'
I never did get my kissy or back rub. But I did get a happy Fany.
My phone buzzed in my pocket and I stepped outside to see it, shielding the screen with my hand from the sun.
Big Smile Lee took my shipment of import watches. Get them back and tie him by the docks. I don't want him to see civilization for a few days.
- Eunhyuk
"I gotta go."
"What? So soon?"
"Yeah, I probably won't stay the night today, sorry."
She nodded her head slightly and didn't say anything.
I bid goodbye to Prince but Stephanie's hand that grabbed mine pulled me to a halt; barely.
She pulled me into a hug, wrapping her arms around me as tightly as she could. My chin rested on her head, smelling her floral scent as she breathed on my neck.
"Please be safe? I-I don't want to see you hurt, at least not anymore." She said softly with a quiver.
"How do you know?" I asked while stroking her back.
"I just do."
"Hm, don't worry about me. Take care of yourself when I'm not here okay? I'll be back." I kiss her on the forehead but she pulled me back when I tried to pull away. She pouted, looking at me with beady eyes like Prince and I gave her a proper kiss, on the lips.
I clutched the phone in my hand as I got into the car, glancing at her figure rounding up the kids.
I'll do everything in my power to keep her happy.
Yeah, back to my old job. My old life. Time to please an asshole so my girl can live a peaceful life.
My sweaty hands gripped the steering wheel tightly. My leg started to shake, I felt sweat starting to form on my head.
Once I step inside Big Smile Lee's apartment there's no going back. There's no stopping me once i get rolling.
I don't want this life, I never asked for it. I was given a second chance but now I'm getting dragged back into this deep hellhole.
Is she even worth my happiness? I let it replay in my head as I unlocked the car door and stepped out, dipping my self into a deep abyss I'll struggle to get out of. If I even can get out of.
Through a messy night with my mind numbed, I returned back home.
My hand touched the door knob but I didn't turn it. I pressed my forehead on the door, sighing.
When I left the 18K, all I wanted in life was to settle down and start a family eventually. That's what the wife wanted to have before she got murdered by one of the guys in my clan.
They talked about starting one, going on vacations with them, naming their future children after their parents. They had their whole life planned out.
I only know because I heard the video recording of his wife speaking to him before she died.
But her, and I wouldn't have that kind of life as long as we were our involved with the 18K.
Never. So I got scared. I valued things, I had morals beliefs. I was a human being too.
I wanted something I didn't grow up with; my family.
I turned the door knob and walked in the pitch black room, taking off my jacket and stripped myself from my clothes.
I took out a plastic bag and filled it with my tainted wear. I stepped out of the bathroom and from the light inside it illuminated dimly my bed.
My girl was staring at me with tired eyes on the bed. She wore my favourite nightgown I loved on her and her silky brown hair was swept to the side.
Any sane person would feel some rush of blood down there.
She's so hair-rippingly pretty it hurts.
The poorly lit room made her look so enchanting. She looked like a sparkly fairy from a far and I couldn't help but chuckle a bit.
My feet shuffled towards my said goddess, her arms reached for me as if she wanted to hold me.
"I'm back, my darling." She flicked my forehead at the name I called her. I smiled, leaning down to kiss her. Longing for love, a companion and a save haven from the night I had.
"I missed you. I missed you so much Fany." I mumbled tiredly. My voice laced with sleep as I let myself succumb to the strokes on my head from her supple hand.
I felt her hum and say no more.
I let her put me to sleep. She let me be in her arms for the night, holding me and cradling me.
She kept me safe, making me feel okay. My life out in the streets would be put to a halt when I'm with her.
I wasn't doing criminal things when I was with her.
But it's only temporary before I have to get up and do it all over again.
So I savor this moment, not knowing when it'll be my last with her everyday.
The sound of a bell brings me out of my sleep and I grumble, turning around and putting a pillow over my head.
"Fany, turn it off."
"Fany-ah, turn it off."
"Woman, I swear to fucking god I will break that damned ala-"
"Fany?"
I sat up, patting the empty side of my bed. The cold spot was unfamiliar.
I called her name twice before getting up to make my rounds around the house.
I couldn't find my small dumpling. So I went back to my room scratching my head. She wouldn't just leave me like that right?
Maybe it was all a dream.
But when I went back to my room I saw the plastic bag with my bloodied clothes in it.
I came home and showered. That was true but I swear I went to sleep with Fany. Did I not?
I sat on the floor as my hand shook.
I dragged myself up and into my car immediately, revving up the engine as fast as I could.
I fumbled with the house keys as I tried to push my way through.
My heart beat faster and faster as I raced up the stairs, opening the door to her room and sighing as I saw the lump on the bed cuddling Prince.
My knees dropped to the floor as I fell down beside her, watching her as she slept.
I thought they took her away from me, I woke up and she was gone. I questioned everything I had done tonight, wondering if I did fulfill what he asked me to do.
'. . .import watches. Get them back and tie him by the docks. I don't want him to see civilization for a few days.'
I did exactly that. There shouldn't be a problem.
I did it to the best of my ability.
My girls life is on the fucking line.
"Taetae." She said, snapping trance as her hand went to reach for my ear and rub it gently.
Her tired self was cute. But I couldn't help but hold the hand on my ear closer to my face.
"Where were you all night Fany-ah?"
"I was at home. You said you wouldn't sleep over tonight so I didn't bother waiting for you."
"So you were here? All night?"
"Tae, its 3 in the morning. Yes I was here tonight. What's wrong?"
"I-I thought you were at my house when I got home."
"Hm?"
"I thought we slept together. You were on the bed waiting for me."
She had a hint of sadness in her eyes for me. "Maybe you were imagining things baby."
"I don't know. All I know is I got home, cleaned up myself and went to sleep. You were the one who held me to sleep. Then I woke up and you weren't there."
"Oh Tae." She said, stroking my hair like I thought she did a few hours ago.
"I thought they took you away." She immediately sat up and pulled me onto the bed, I laid on top of her. Scared shitless.
"Taetae. . . you didn't like it did you?"
"No, no I hated it. I don't want to do crimes again. I don't want to do bad things anymore Fany-ah, but I have to."
She continued to stroke my head, occasionally kissing my cheek as she did.
"You don't have to, it's a choice." She mumbled.
"Based on a life or death decision, it's either I do it or you die. I have to do it, I need to do it. For you."
"That's not okay Tae, you're memories your past life. You don't want to relive it so why do it?"
"Because I want to live in a time where it's just me and you." My heart swelled at the words coming out of my mouth.
I see us in the future Fany.
"In the end of all this we'll get our happy ending."
I'll make sure of it, I know how to climb the hierarchy ladder of the 18K. I've done it once I'll do it again.
This I promise you, Stephanie.
I love you.
I pulled out a blue paper wrapped coin and put it in her palm.
"Day 9. No matter if I see you for the day or not, I won't miss it. You'll always get it." She hummed in response, never saying anything after I gave it to her.
I know, it's not the right thing to do. To push such a big thing on her, to rush love on someone who's ever only known broken hearted.
To give her purely 3 months to make up her mind, to tell her she'll love me during those days or after those days. To marry me because if she does love me we'll be together till the end.
If not, we end this like I've said. There's no point prolonging the hurt.
But I'm just scared. I'm a scared shitless person who can't bear the thought of losing someone so precious to me.
I've had so many people walk out on me already.
I pride myself away from her and she looked at me but I looked down at my feet.
"Tae." She said, touching my hand tenderly. I shook my head.
I got up and darted myself into the bathroom, closing the door as I went into the shower slid down against the tiles.
I turned the shower on, as I sat on the floor.
My heart ached as I pondered if she'll one way walk from me, I'm dreading the day she announced that she doesn't want to spend the rest of her life with me.
I think back and through my clouded mind filled with her, and to the other spectrum which is packed with my endless, meaningless horrible actions, I see no one.
Not even myself.
I remind myself, this thing this 90 day ultimatum. It's not right, is it?
She's not ready. For me, at least.
Love, marriage? Not at all.
She can't even love me and all I've ever know is forcing things into people.
I'm not in my right mind, but I like her. I love her.
I felt sadness surge my body as I felt my shoulders become heavy, my stomach churned into a mess inside.
The water hit my head and ran across my skin, dripping off me as I curled up with my knees up to my face.
I hated myself for what I had become. I hated how she couldn't say she loved me. I hated how I felt like I loved her more than she loves me; she doesn't even love me? I hated how I have to put her into this because of my selfish needs.
She would've left already if she doesn't like me, right? I'd be blind if I couldn't see why she'd stay.
I'm a blind man then. I can't find the reason she'd stay, I can't see it.
My heart clenched over and over again as I kept over thinking.
I felt my hot tears run down my face along with the cold water running down my head.
I muffled my sobbing, biting on my hand to cease any sounds coming from myself.
Stephanie, my Fany.
A precious existence I absolutely need.
A life where my life wouldn't be something much.
As a world without Stephanie wouldn't be good at all.
It would be like losing my happiness. . .