Weiss Reacts to Karmic Trickery, Part 1!
A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Now, for a long time, I've had a lot of people tell me how Yang's always gotten away with pranks and crap, and it's grating on people's nerves. Believe me when I say this, I've thought that for a very long time too.
So, my young squiggles, this is my answer. Hope you enjoy the chappie~
DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise there would be a pig Faunus based off Journey of the West.
All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.
It was a typical weekend morning in Beacon Academy-a perfectly regular, ordinary weekend morning.
"XIAO LONG! YOU PERVERTED MORON!"
"Teeheehee~"
That was, if one considered 'dealing with your hideously busty and sexiness-obsessed roommate as a normal morning.
Weiss pinched the bridge of her nose, glaring at Yang. "What are you doing? More to the point, why are you dressed like that?!"
Yang giggled, looking down at her incredibly tight-fitting leather suit- replete with the zipper just open enough to give anyone perfect view of her cleavage.
"Oh, this? I'm just...going out, is all~"
"You're going to try to reclaim that stupid sexiness thing from Winter, aren't you?" The heiress inquired accusingly. "Can you not let that go?!"
The brawler crossed her arms, pouting. "Come on! I've been trying to win it back for months and I still haven't done it! You know how it feels having my rightful throne be stolen away?!"
"It wasn't your rightful throne to begin with! Who cares about being the sexiest?!" Weiss yelled. "Must you always go over the top like a complete dunce?!"
Blake and Ruby watched the argument, sharing a bowl of dry cereal- the nation's favourite brand, Schnee Frostflakes- slowly.
"Will they ever quit that?" Ruby wondered, looking to Blake. The catgirl shrugged.
"I dunno. I mean, they've been at it ever since they started here. We're almost in our last year and they still haven't stopped." Blake admitted, sighing. "In Weiss' defence, though, Yang has been getting a little...douchey...lately."
Ruby nodded in assent. "Yeah, I noticed that too. All she seems to care about is being sexy and antics and stuff.
I mean, she cared about that before, but she used to be a pretty cool sister. I miss that." The reaper admitted, frowning.
Yang huffed. "You could never appreciate antics, Weiss."
"Your antics were always annoying!" Weiss snapped in retaliation, glaring at her. "At least you had some substance to them! Now all you do is care about your sexiness and pull stupid pranks!"
The brawler gasped, stepping back from Weiss. "T-take that back! My pranks are amazing!"
"Oh, you blew up Miss Honda's pancake batter again. Well done, now she's covered in batter. Nobody saw it." The heiress rolled her eyes, sighing. "That made so many people laugh, Yang. SO MANY!"
"...y-you wouldn't know a quality antic if it hit you in the face! And speaking of which..."
A custard pie sailed in from a panel in the wall to hit Weiss, caking her in bits of pastry and sticky filling. The heiress seethed, glaring at her.
"...y-you...you know what?!" Weiss slowly raised a shaking finger at Yang, glaring at her. "...one day, you will get your comeuppance.
One day."
Yang stuck her tongue out in response. "Yeah, not likely.
Now, if you excuse me, I'm going to go see if I can take one of Blake's prototypes for a spin!"
She ran out of the room eagerly, with Blake standing up, shaking her head.
"I've told her once, I told her again, the Megadeus is not ready! Good Dust..." The catgirl sighed, before grabbing a towel and tossing it over to Weiss. "Here, get yourself cleaned up. I'll try and stop her from blowing everything up."
Blake strolled out of the room, leaving a furious Weiss and Ruby. Ruby looked concernedly at Weiss.
"...hey, you need to...calm down a little." The reaper pleaded, giving Weiss a plaintive look. The heiress stared over at her, before closing her eyes and sighing.
"...you know...I'll be back. I'll take a walk, maybe get myself some sorbet." Weiss exhaled deeply, before strolling over to the cabinet and slipping on a jacket and walking out of the room, heading around the nearest corner...
Just before a sack descended around her head. Weiss flailed out at whoever was doing this, reaching for Myrtenaster before realising she had left it in the dorm.
"U-Unhand me! PERVERT! LET ME GO!" The heiress shrieked as her unknown captor dragged her away.
Minutes later...
The sack was removed from Weiss' head, as she flailed out at whoever was taking the sack off of her, glaring at her surroundings.
"Let me go you...wait, what?" The heiress stopped, realising exactly where she was.
She was standing in a large, circular room, lit only by torches and an elaborate golden chandelier hanging from the ceiling. The floor was paved in golden brick, with the Antic Order logo embossed onto the large floor and dominating the whole room.
In front of her was a massive round table, with Nora, Cinder, Velvet and Vivi dotted around it. At the opposite end to Weiss was Ren, dressed in deep viridian robes with golden trim and a massive tome in his hands, reading from it. Nora hissed at Weiss.
"Sssssh! Be quiet! The Antic Grandmaster is reading out today's agenda." The berserker warned, as Weiss crossed her arms, looking away irritably.
'So...this is what I was dragged away to. Good Dust.' The heiress pinched the bridge of her nose.
"I can't believe you dunces kidnapped me to drag me to your stupid Antic Order meeting..." The heiress seethed irritably. Nora shrugged.
"It's for a good cause! Be quiet!"
Weiss glared at her indignantly, but agreed to silence herself.
'...tch. I don't know the way out of here. I'll just have to...figure out why these morons brought me here...'
Ren closed his eyes, reading the tome. He cleared his throat.
"Today, we come together for an emergency meeting regarding one of our members." The gunslinger explained. "We come to discuss the fate of Antic Master Xiao Long, in regards to her recent actions.
Of late, her antics have become unguided, and have lost sight of their true aim. Once upon a time, her antics were useful for the purpose of pairing others together, but not anymore. Now, they are done without regard to her companions- rather than done to teach them a much-needed lesson, or to make others laugh, she has followed the path of the accursed Fourth Wall Breaker Pinkamena- antics with no consideration for those around her."
'These morons have goals for their antics? And they care who they prank?!' Weiss stared at them in disbelief. 'Good Dust, this is news to me.'
"Her antics are done not even for the love of the art, or as means to the end of furthering romance, or to seek retribution upon those judged guilty by the Great Balance, but simply for cheap entertainment." Ren sounded almost disappointed as he spoke.
"Our superiors, the Wizard Marshall Schweinorg, the Great Goddess O-Suzumiya-sama, and the True Antic Lord Okazaki have declared such abuse of power to be utterly unacceptable.
To this, there is but one answer. Master Xiao Long must be subjected to an antic to remind her of her true place in the world's balance."
"Hear hear!" Nora chanted, surprisingly calmly. "Hear the Grandmaster's proposal!"
"I therefore move to begin planning for an antic that will shepherd Master Xiao Long back to the true Antic Path. Who shall carry this motion?" Ren looked to his fellow members.
"Motion seconded." Nora responded solemnly, raising her own hand.
Velvet raised her hand, nodding in assent. "Motion carried."
"Pipipi!" Vivi waved from her position on Velvet's head, jumping up and down.
"Agreed." Cinder raised her hand, smiling mischievously.
Ren closed his eyes, motioning everyone to put their hands down with a sweeping grand motion with his arms. "The Order chooses to carry this motion. Heretofore, from this moment forth, Master Xiao Long is to be treated as fair game for any and all antics.
Now, we must initiate planning. Today, we have a guest, the most honorable Miss Weiss Schnee, to aid us in our planning."
Weiss rolled her eyes, crossing her arms, in disbelief at the speech. "Just quit this facade of being refined and get to it! Why did you people drag me down here? I was busy working on something far more important than having to sit through you plotting to prank Yang!"
Cinder frowned at her. "Now, Weiss, we have procedure in this Order. We don't just skip the frills here.
We have class, unlike some people."
"Point is, the fans are starting to get a little mad that Yang's getting away with all her antics." Ren pointed out, frowning as he did. "O-Elf-sama's even gotten yelled at by a bunch of people over it. It's not ideal for readership, considering that's the only reason we even exist."
"As usual, you people are talking complete nonsense." Weiss muttered irritably. "Just get to the point. Why am I here?"
"You're the only teammate of Yang's we can trust to not say a thing to her." Cinder pointed out. "Blake would definitely blab it, and Ruby, although she's pretty trustworthy...just give the girl some cookies and she'll talk more than Nora on a sugar rush."
Weiss stared at Cinder, surprised at her surprisingly logical approach. "...you actually thought this through. Good Dust."
Nora interjected energetically. "Point is, Yang's been a baaaaad girl.
The Sloth God demands she must be punished for great justice!"
Weiss sighed, looking between everyone. "You're all insane. All of you are insane. Why would you morons recruit me to help you with your stupid antics? You know I want to end your antics, right?
I even got involved in your stupid war just to try and end your antics, and even then that backfired!"
Ren chuckled, crossing his arms. "It's really simple. You're Yang's biggest target. According to Antic Law, you are the only person qualified to retaliate against Yang."
Velvet giggled insanely. "Y-yes...Weiss-sempai is the only one allowed to...hee hee..."
"Antic Law." The heiress scoffed. "You people make me laugh. It's impossible to provide Law to utter chaos.
I'm somewhat confused about what you intend me to do to Xiao Long. Why do you want me to do this again?"
"We just explained it to you. Yang needs to be taken down a peg." Ren explained, rubbing his temples. "Her antics are getting harder and harder for me to clean up after, and they're become far less sophisticated and well-done.
Look, if we don't rein her in, we'll get a worse prankster in to show us how to properly prank people. And as much as you hate Yang's antics, you really don't want our superiors to come in and prank everyone, which will happen if we don't rein her in.
We may be enemies, but as they say, the enemy of my enemy is my friend, and Xiao Long's our current enemy. We can't risk moving against Yang ourselves, lest she figure us out. But you're the perfect revenge agent; you have the motive, she'll never suspect you, and you'll have our full support."
Weiss breathed heavily, looking at Ren irritably. "...you...give a convincing argument. I've been waiting for a chance to show that pervert a piece of my mind...but you are all equally...grah."
'To think that my chance to finally avenge myself would come at the hands of my worst enemies...' The heiress looked down, considering her options. '...but if I reject this...I may never get such a chance again!
...dammit. I will never forgive myself for this...I've betrayed my own principles, I know it. If I was one of those samurai Raven Branwen so idolises, I would likely be forced to kill myself, such is how I've breached my own principles...'
"...Fine, I'll work with you." Weiss nodded slowly, glaring at Ren. "But...understand this. Understand this perfectly.
I am only working with you because I get the chance to finally get back at Yang, got it? I don't want any part of your antics, I don't want any part of your shipping. This is the one time I want to be involved in your moronic pervert acts! Understood?"
The gunslinger smiled enigmatically, before extending his hand. "Then let's shake on it."
Nora cheered. "Wooooo! We can finally tick off the 'Enemy Mine' box we've been waiting to fill for such a long time!"
Weiss reluctantly shook his hand, agreeing to help him out.
"I hate you so much for this, Ren, just to let you know." The heiress glared at him.
"Oh, I know you do. That's the fun of it! Now, Nora, show her the antic kit."
"Aye aye!" The berserker saluted, before whipping out a large briefcase with the Antic Order logo embossed upon it, passing it over to Ren, who presented it to Weiss.
"This here is everything you'll ever need to prank Yang. Everything."
The heiress took the briefcase, weighing it in her hands and studying it curiously. "...funny. I would have thought this was heavier."
"We have to travel light." Ren admitted wearily. "It's not ideal for set-up. But, at least we're ready for anything.
Now, Weiss, you really should get going. The day's running out, and if you're gone for too long, Ruby might suspect something. Also, Velvet's starting to get a little restless."
The bunnygirl stared lustfully at her object of lust, drooling a little. "Weiss-sempai...oh my..."
Weiss shuddered, shaking her head. "Just...show me the way out, alright?"
"To your left, up the ramp and onto the corridor." The gunslinger directed.
"Dustspeed, Weiss. You're about to prank the greatest prankster since myself in the history of Beacon."
The heiress closed her eyes, exasperated and surprised at her situation.
'To think I'd be working with the Antic Order to get back at Yang...' Weiss mused. 'My life truly is strange if I have to cooperate with such undesirably strange bedfellows.
The only thing left to consider...is...how do I prank the likes of Yang Xiao Long?'
To be continued...
A/N: Yes, this is going to be a two-parter, mainly because it's a lot harder to keep up big single chapters in this exam time. My hardest exams are coming up, too, which makes me cry. At least Weiss is finally getting ready to get her own back- which surely has to count for something, right?
So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, suggestions, criticisms, reviews, thoughts, comments and suggestions, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!