Weiss Reacts to Karmic Trickery, Part 2!
A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Today, a great tragedy has befallen the Reactsverse, one which puts a damper in the mood. The Games We Play...gasp...has beaten Weiss Reacts Volume One for having the most reviews in the archive. To this, I must declare my eternal shame at my own fics. SHAAAAAME.
Alright, I'm done now. You can have your karmic retribution now.
DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise there would be a reindeer Faunus. Because why not?
All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.
RWBY Dorm...
Weiss carefully gazed out of the window, watching Yang scurry around the campus in her spy catsuit. She sighed in relief, wiping her brow.
"Good." The heiress rubbed her hands together eagerly. "I can plot without having that dunce interrupt me."
Carefully, the heiress laid out the briefcase she'd gotten from the Antic Order on her bed. She stared at it closely, grumbling.
"...time to see what accursed pieces of gear I've been outfitted with..." Weiss, closing her eyes and raising one of her arms to protect herself from any sort of rubber snake, custard pie or whatever the Antic Order had in store for her, opened the case slowly.
A moment passed. Then another. Then another. Nothing happened. The heiress opened her eyes, gazing at the contents at the case carefully.
"I was...expecting that to be more explosive." Weiss mused, sounding slightly disappointed. "They seriously must want Xiao Long taken down a notch..."
She examined closely what tools she had at her disposal for the purpose of avenging herself upon her teammate, taking stock of all her tools.
The suitcase contained several sachets of instant custard mix, along with flour, eggs and various other ingredients for pies, a pack of whoopee cushions- as expected- several cans of literal jumping beans, several ropes and strings, sheets of tarp designed to resemble any possible surface within Beacon's grounds, from wallpaper to linoleum floor to grass and what appeared to be a squid hat, with blue trailing tentacles poking out from underneath it.
There was also a sheet of paper enclosed- a form requisitioning various other antic materials, including and ranging from a Homura Beacon- "I don't even want to know what that does"- to an outright pack to summon the Patron Goddess of Antics herself, O-Suzumiya-sama, to the service of her summoner for an hour and a half. Weiss shuddered at the thought of the idea of an Antic Goddess.
She looked dumbfounded at the sheer amount of tools she had at her disposal. "Good Dust."
She lifted the squid hat, examining it carefully. "And what kind of antic would this be used for? " Picking up an instruction sheet, she carefully read the usage instructions.
"Use to summon Sanae when in need of distraction. Who in the name of Dust is Sanae and why would she be obsessed with squids?" Weiss blinked, shaking her head and discarding the hat. "More to the point...tch. Nothing but typical antic materials to throw around.
You'd think they'd spare something more elaborate for the purposes of pranking another of their own-"
Suddenly, Weiss' phone rang, vibrating upon her desk. The heiress strolled over to pick it up, seeing the caller was 'Ren'.
"Hm? What does he want now?" The heiress mused, before answering. "Yes, Ren?"
"Heeeey, Weiss." The gunslinger called over the phone. "Listen, we thought you might be a little confused about how to throw an antic properly.
One of our guys will be over shortly to aid you. We just needed to transport him here via armoured car for his own safety. Cheerio, got to be going now, I have all the antics in the world to be planning!"
Her phone beeped as Ren hung up. Weiss sighed, glancing irritably at the phone.
"Tch. I'll be, someone actually committed enough antics to anger Beacon's staff to warrant an armoured car." The heiress looked shocked. "...I wonder who they've sent?
Good Dust, I hope it's not that Tsumugi woman I heard they recruited- from the amount of times I caught her drooling over her teammates, she seems unsavoury... Or that Reflet Yang's always raving on about..." Weiss shuddered as she awaited her helper.
The doorbell rang. Weiss swallowed nervously, looking towards the door worriedly.
"Good Dust, this ought to be..." The heiress closed her eyes, looking at the doorknob worriedly. "...um...hm.
I have to open that door eventually...regardless of what's going to happen."
Weiss inhaled deeply, before closing her eyes and reaching for the door to open it. As it swung open, a shadow suddenly fell over her, as she looked up to see who had come.
Her eyes widened as she realised who it was.
"...y-you. No. You're not in the Antic Order. You're joking, right?!" The heiress stumbled back, staring up at the person who had been sent to help her.
He was unnaturally tall, taller than any human, Faunus or robot had any right to be. He was thin, too- thinner than any creature should logically be. His choice of clothes were a dapper black two-piece suit, with a red tie to compliment the whole ensemble. His skin was pale white, with his face featureless except for a pair of triangle shades.
He held up his phone, showing it to Weiss, who slowly read it.
HI I'M SLEN D. MANN
ARE YOU WEISS SCHNEE
The heiress nodded slowly, still staring at him. The man turned his phone back towards him, tapping on it quickly to write another message.
I AM HERE TO HELP YOU
MY SERVICES HAVE BEEN CALLED UPON BY MASTER REN
I BELIEVE YOU ARE IN NEED OF A PRANK ADVISOR
"...of course..." The heiress nodded slowly. "...I just...did not believe it'd be...a, err, gentleman like you.
Um...um...do you, err...work out?"
WHY YES I DO WORK OUT, Slen responded, patting his stick-like arm confidently. I READ SOMEWHERE IN A BOOK THAT IT HELPS PEOPLE LIKE YOU MORE
I GET LONELY LIVING IN A CAVE YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW LONELY IT IS
Weiss blinked. '...so...the Slender Man gets lonely. And has those accursed glasses. And is in the Order too.
It's official. I think I've died and gone to Hell.'
The abomination adjusted his tie, rolling his head to stretch it.
WELL IT SEEMS YOU WILL NEED TO BE PRANKING A MASTER OF ANTICS
DO YOU HAVE A PLAN YET
Weiss nodded eagerly. "Actually...Mr. Mann, was it? I do indeed have a plan by now. I think it might just about work.
We are going to have to discuss it in some...serious detail if we're going to implement it."
Half an hour later, in the Beacon grounds...
Yang giggled, watching her fanboys and fangirls accumulate. She was currently leaning on the side of her bike, the Bumblebee, posing dramatically.
"Ahh...it feels good to be loved again." Yang sighed happily, as several fanboys and fangirls gazed at her form, emphasised by the skintight leather clothes she was wearing. Some even had nosebleeds.
"Y-Yang-sempai! We love you! WE LOOOOVE YOU!"
"HAVE MY BABIES!"
The brawler rubbed her cheeks, sighing happily. "This feels amazing, to have your fans finally acknowledge you as the true Queen of Sexy~"
And rather suddenly, Yang's sexiness quotient took a rather large hit by the sheer fact that she was rather suddenly beset upon by custard-filled pastries. Which is to say; a ton of custard pies suddenly fell on her, caking her in filling and crumbs.
The brawler flinched, blinking briefly.
"What the-"
Suddenly, a rope seized around her leg, yanking her up into the air and underneath a tree upside down. Yang squealed in surprise, with the custard dripping down onto the ground, as she struggled on the rope.
"W-what the-" The brawler tried to struggle against the rope. "What's going on?! I-is this some sort of joke?!"
Several more pies hit her in the face repeatedly, followed by a barrage of eggs. Yang blinked rapidly.
"H-huh?!"
Before she could form any more coherent thoughts, however, the rope pulling her up into the tree tipped down into the ground and tossed her into a nearby dumpster, where she landed perfectly on a pair of whoopee cushions, which squished flat underneath her.
She flinched at the farting sound, before checking herself to see if she'd been hurt by the rather sudden prank.
"I..." The brawler looked down at herself. "...that was...awesome!"
She pumped her fist triumphantly, pulling herself up. "Yeaaaaah! That was-"
Then, a ton of custard sauce poured directly into her hair. The brawler cringed as she felt the cold sauce land on the back of her scalp, messing up her much vaunted hair.
Yang looked horrified as she slowly reached behind her head, feeling her hair slowly. The custard sauce had severely messed her hair up, sticking whole strands together, and destroying the absolutely perfect waves Yang had had them in earlier.
The brawler twitched.
"I..." She breathed heavily, trying to calm herself down. "My hair. My hair. MY HAIR!
THAT'S IT! WHOEVER DID THIS TO ME IS DONE FOR!"
Yang leapt out of the dumpster, her eyes completely red and an aura of killing intent emerging from her. She looked around hastily for anyone in the crowd who looked like who may have set the prank up.
"WHO! WHO MESSED UP MY HAIR?!" Yang roared, the custard dripping behind her. "I AM GOING TO END YOUR LIVES! MY HAIR! MY HAAAAAIR!"
"Oh, so now you know how it feels like to be me."
Yang whirled around, glaring at Weiss, who was leaning next to the dumpster she'd been dumped into, grinning. The brawler raised a shaking finger, pointing at Weiss.
"Y-you?! YOU DID THIS?!" Yang roared in disbelief, glaring murderously at the heiress. Weiss merely nodded affirmatively.
"Uhuh."
"AND YOU AREN'T RUNNING?!"
"Nope."
Yang started shaking. "WHY?! WHY WOULD YOU-"
"Oh, maybe because this is what you've been doing to me for the last three years?" The heiress pointed out snappily. "You know, caking me in custard, dragging me through dumpsters, so on and so forth?"
"YOU CAKED MY HAIR IN CUSTARD"
"And I've been bathed in custard in unspeakable places." Weiss retorted. "Really, Yang. How does it feel to be on the other end of an antic?"
"STUPID IDIOT YOU CAKED MY HAIR IN-"
Weiss facepalmed. "Oh, don't you get it? This is what you do to me. Every day. You do something incredibly stupid, and then laugh at me.
I'll admit, once or twice a blue moon...it gives me a laugh. But you're going too far with your antics." The heiress cried. "Seriously, all you do them for is to be a mean person. You don't do them to make anyone else laugh, and it hurts all our feelings. Especially mine.
So...I decided to give you a taste of your own medicine. Now, you get to be on the other end of an antic."
Yang breathed heavily, glaring at Weiss. "...look, this is..."
"Completely different? You're caked in custard, embarrassed, angry and you feel violated." The heiress completed for her. "So. How is this different to anything you've done to me lately?"
Yang tried to retort, but found she had no counterargument. She merely stared at Weiss in shock.
"...you're right." The brawler sighed, looking down at herself, caked in custard and eggshells. "...I...kinda lost track of myself, huh."
"You did." Weiss nodded in agreement. The brawler frowned apologetically.
"I guess I...kinda overdid it, huh."
"You did." The heiress nodded, breathing heavily herself. "Why do you think you're the target?"
"...and...as much as I...don't want to admit it...
That was a pretty good antic." The brawler admitted, laughing a little.
Weiss rolled her eyes. "I...had some help setting it all up."
Yang smiled slightly. "...if you weren't so straitlaced, you'd be pretty good at antics."
"I don't want anything to do with that perverted stuff. I just did this to teach you to stop pranking people inconsiderately.
Look, I don't care what you do with your spare time. I don't care what kind of stupid antics you do. Just...quit doing them in such a way that it actually hurts people."
Yang sighed, looking towards Weiss. "If you...were really hurt...I'm...I'm sorry. I...I didn't mean to hurt anyone, alright?
I just wanted a little fun. If...it's hurting you guys, then I'll try to tone it down, okay? I'm sorry, I really am."
The heiress closed her eyes, shaking her head and smiling.
"...tch. Yang, as much as you're insufferable, I can't stay mad at you. All is forgiven.
For now."
Yang smiled briefly. "Glad to hear. I'll...do my best not to be too inconsiderate with the antics."
Then, her expression warped to one of sheer anger, with a psychotic smirk on her face. "You know you're still going to have to pay for my hair, though. Right?"
Weiss blanched, stepping back in fear.
"Uh-oh."
"Now...YOU'RE A DEAD WOMAN, WEISS SCHNEE!" Yang lunged at her hungrily.
Needless to say, Weiss had the run of her life, escaping from the angered Yang.
Meanwhile...
Slen D. Mann calmly texted away on his phone.
MISSION SUCCESS, MASTER REN
He sent off the message, dusting his hands off. The abomination wiped his face of sweat, looking around to see Weiss being chased by a furious, disheveled Yang.
This meant, of course, the plan went off without a hitch. He felt proud of himself-
"...h-hello, M-Mister...M-Mann."
Slen froze. He knew that voice. Slowly, he turned around to face Gretchen Faust, who was staring dreamily at him, blushing heavily and waving at him.
"H-hello...s-so...I-I heard you...l-like...to dismember...people-"
He was gone before she could finish her abortive attempt at flirting; as manly as he was, there were just some things one did not stick around to see.
END
A/N: A bit weak, in my opinion, but what's done is done. Next chapter, Weiss Reacts to The Games We Play, courtesy of Ryuugi, known here as rgm0005, who is INCREDIBLY awesome! And props to D.C. Draco for making it all possible!
So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, criticisms, suggestions, thoughts and reviews, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!