As always everything belongs to Stephanie Meyers.
10. ANALYZING
Now that Bella was tucked away, safe and sound for the evening, there were a few things to tend to at the house. Speeding down the highway, I was growing anxious over the information we had thus far. It wasn't enough. We needed more knowledge about what was happening. If I couldn't figure who it was, how would I ever hope to stop them?
And what about the situation in Seattle? What was really happening there? Could this have something to do with our circumstance? I couldn't see how. Also escaping me was why the Volturi hadn't arrived yet, to clean this mess up. From past experience, their involvement should have be much quicker, so what was the delay this time? Their reluctance to be here reinforced my belief that they were somehow involved.
If all that were true, and it was the Volturi, then why would they take Bella's belongings? They already had her scent so that ruled out that purpose. To prove she remained human? That was a possibility, but unlikely, their word would be enough. No one could lie to Aro. Perhaps, I'm right that someone else was commanding whoever this was. As unlikely as that seemed, it was the most logical explanation I could come up with.
Needing more answers, I hurried home. Pulling up to the front of the house, I parked the car and hurried through the front door. Everyone was gathered in the dining room seated around the table. Faces were lost in thought and not very hopeful. Reading their thoughts wasn't giving me much hope either.
"Well, what's everyone come up with?" intending my question for Alice as I stared right at her, but wanting to involve everyone in the discussion.
"Nothing, Edward. We haven't come up with anything new… yet," Carlisle explained.
"Really… Alice… you've seen anything new?" I asked my voice strained.
"Nothing, Edward. I'm trying… there's just nothing to see. Well, as you know I can't see her right now, but the last time I saw her, the future looked well. I don't know what to say," Alice said hanging her head.
"Well, what do we do know?" I asked turning my head to Carlisle.
"I'm not sure," he replied.
"Should we go to Seattle? Perhaps we can find out what's going on there. Maybe it has something to do with this," I asked.
"I'm in," Emmett jumped forward.
"Now hold on a second. I'm not sure that's the best idea," Carlisle's voice rang out through the room.
"No. You mustn't do that, Edward. You have no idea what you would be walking in on. It's too dangerous," Esme pleaded with me.
"Esme, I of all people will know what's happening, the minute I step into Seattle. You know that," I explained.
"Yes, Edward. It's true you can hear them, but this is very dangerous, we have no idea who has made these… creatures. And we have no idea why. I'm afraid until we do, we can't go," Carlisle pleaded with me also.
"Carlisle's right, Edward. For us to interfere at this time would not look good. Do you really want to risk running into the Volturi? There bound to come soon," Jasper added.
"No. But what do we do now?" I asked.
"We wait. The Volturi will clean up whatever is happening in Seattle. As for our little problem, we continue to watch. We're on full alert, and with the wolves help, no one is getter near her. Sooner or later, whoever this is will come back, and we'll be ready. It's all about preparation at this point, Edward. We have to be prepared and we will be. I promise. The next time this person shows up, we'll be ready for them," Carlisle rationalized.
"Sit and wait. That's what you're asking of me?" I questioned.
"Yes, Edward. I'm asking you to be patient once more," Carlisle said.
"Well, I don't know if I can do that. Haven't I done that a little too much lately?" I asked.
"Yes, son, but if you don't, you risk doing more harm," Carlisle offered.
"Sit and wait. Fine, I won't promise anything, but I'll try," I said standing up from the table.
"Edward, it's your safety we're worried about. Please… please don't do anything irrational," Esme begged me.
"Irrational, I won't. But to sit here and wait for someone to come for her, I'm not certain I can do that," I said as I left the table headed for the front door.
Behind me followed a set of footsteps. Great I was being babysat. Sending Emmett to watch and make certain I wouldn't do anything –as Esme would say irrational –was beneath Carlisle, but he did it anyway. He nodded toward Emmett, then to me as I was leaving. Even worse than being called irrational, I was being treated as a child now. Too upset, I headed for the garage without a word.
Slipping into my Astro Martin, Emmett jumped in the passenger side.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"Road trip… cool, I'm in," Emmett said with a smile.
"Get out, I don't need a babysitter," I snapped at him.
"I'm not your babysitter, consider me more… a friend," he said laughing. "A friend keeping you from making a huge mistake."
"Emmett, please. I want to be alone," I begged him.
"Edward, you can beg all you want, but I'm not budging."
"Fine. It's your death wish."
Spinning out of the garage, I sped away from the house. Driving down the highway at top speed was exhilarating and something that had escaped me for quite a while. Wondering why that was, for this car was once my favorite thing, I suppose it's been replaced by my latest favorite thing… Bella. Viewing what I'd done to her life, I could now see what I've done to my own. Was any of this right? Uncertainty flooded me and I knew at this moment, it didn't matter. What mattered most was restoring our worlds and getting life back to normal –as normal as my existence could be.
Halfway to my destination, my unwanted passenger suddenly pulled me from my thoughts.
"Um… Edward. Where are we going?" Emmett asked puzzled.
"You don't want to know," I replied.
"Edward! Where are we going?" Emmett demanded.
"Seattle."
"Are you insane? Have you totally lost it? TURN AROUND NOW," He yelled.
I'd never heard Emmett this way before it took me by surprise. Slowing the car down, I didn't know what to make of him. I had never seen him refuse a challenge before and it was quite disturbing. His reaction made me slow the car even more.
"Emmett, I'm just going to have a peek. No interference, I just want to see…"
Emmett interrupted me. "No, Edward. This is not a good idea. We know nothing, we can't."
Not certain who he was trying to convince, himself or me. His thoughts were running around his head like a crazy man.
Carlisle will be upset with me. Esme will kill me. And Rosalie… I don't even want to think about what she would…
Pulling over to the shoulder, off the highway, I stopped the car.
"Emmett, no one will know," I offered.
"Are you kidding me?" he snapped.
Just then, my phone rang out. Emmett and I glared at each other.
"See… now look what you've done," he said.
Looking at the phone, it was whom I expected… Alice. Opening the phone, I placed it to my ear, pulling it back immediately.
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" Alice screamed into the phone.
"Alice, calm down."
"I WON'T CALM DOWN, TURN AROUND NOW, EDWARD. I MEAN IT… NOW. OR I'LL GO STRAIGHT TO CARLISLE," she continued to yell at me.
"Geez… it's not that urgent. The car is stopped, settle down," I begged.
"I most certainly won't settle down. Come home now," she demanded.
"Alice, it's alright, I've changed my mind, but I'm not coming home. See for yourself," I offered.
"Put Emmett on the phone," she demanded.
Holding out the phone to Emmett. "She wants to talk to you," offering him the phone.
He held up both hands to push the phone away. I pushed it back towards him. Not wanting to talk to her again either. He finally took it.
"Alice," Emmett said calmly, then, he removed the phone from his ear as the shouting began again.
"YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE WATCHING HIM. WHERE WERE YOU WHEN HE DECIDED TO GO TO…" she screamed.
"I was working…" he began, but she cut him off again, sounding a bit calmer.
"Work harder, Emmett. We have enough to deal with, now take care of this. And, if you two go anywhere near…"
"We won't. I promise. See you when we get home," he said.
"I mean it Emmett, I'll know and I'll tell Rose. Do you want her to follow you…" she challenged. She meant business.
"Fine. It's under control, don't worry," Emmett offered.
Shutting the phone, he glared at me.
"You see… there's no way we can go to Seattle, Edward," He pleaded.
"I know, she's so annoying sometimes," I complained.
"I know, but she's right. It's not safe to go there right now," Emmett said.
"Fine. So what do you want to do?" I asked.
"We could head over to…"
"No, I'm not spying on her. I trust her," I snapped.
"Fine. How about a little hunting?" he asked.
"Well, I'm up for sweeping the forest, perhaps we could find something," I offered.
Turning the car around I headed back to Forks, against my better judgment. But, at this time, there was nothing I could do. They were hell bent on stopping me from going to Seattle, but that didn't mean I would surrender. I would find a way to get there eventually.
Coming to the end of highway, I parked the car in the same spot Bella had parked her truck when I brought her here the first time. This was the way to my meadow. Figuring if I took Emmett through the forest, we would end up at the meadow. Coincidence… he would buy that.
Moving fairly quickly, we found a few things to snack on. Emmett was growing bored with the vegetation around here. It was no fun for him to hunt the smaller game. Knowing how he felt, it held no importance to me as it once had. Hunting use to bring a lot of excitement to me, but since meeting Bella, that had changed. Hunting moved down on my list of priorities. As she had once told me –desiring me more than oxygen, which was essential to her survival –I too, felt my desire for her overpowered my need for blood, which was essential to my survival.
Several paces ahead of me, Emmett caught my attention… loudly.
"EDWARD, IS THERE NOTHING WE CAN DO THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE HER?" he yelled.
Seeing he found the meadow, he exploded. A coincidence, he would not believe.
"Emmett if I have to be out here, I'd rather be here than anywhere," I answered calmly.
"This is sick… you're sick. You need help… this is not healthy," he jabbered on.
"WHAT?" I yelled. "Who are you kidding, I was there you know," I answered.
"You were there when?" he asked.
"I was there when Rosalie brought you home. I was there when Carlisle changed you. And, I was also there for the next ten years, afterwards. Believe me when I tell you it was no picnic," I scowled back.
"What?" he asked.
"Emmett you were worse than me. You two were… well, let's just say you couldn't keep your hands to yourselves. If you don't think that was worse than this. Your wrong," I explained.
"Speaking of hands to yourself…" he uttered.
"Stop right there… I'm not discussing this with you," I murmured.
"C'mon Edward, give me some details," he begged.
"There's no details to give," I quickly responded.
"I know that hasn't happened yet…" he blurted out.
"Not while she's human… never," I answered.
"Then according to you it'll never happen," he muttered.
"I suppose."
"Doesn't that bother you?" he asked.
"What do you mean?" I questioned.
"Well, knowing that you'll never… I mean… you must want to?" he asked lightly. "I know I would… want to."
"Really, there's a shock… I don't know. Yes, of course I want to, after all I am a man. But the risk… the risk is too great… and I would never," I explained.
"But isn't the urge… huge. Isn't it hard to control?" he questioned.
"Yes. And she doesn't help the situation, always tempting me, she wants to but… I can't see a way that wouldn't kill her. Do you?" slipping in this question, Emmett would know better than I. He had more experience with this subject, first hand experience.
"That's a tough one. I can understand your thoughts on it, and your right, control isn't an easy thing when it comes to that. But you have more control than any of us, probably more than Carlisle, so you never know. Maybe it is possible. What do I know, I've never been known for my control," he said solemnly. "But let me tell you this, when it does happen, it will be unexplainable. That I promise you," he said with a laugh.
"Thanks, Emmett. But that doesn't help either."
"I know, I'm kidding. I guess what you should really know is that when and if it does happen, I'm certain it will turn out okay. Whether you wait until she's one of us or not, I'm sure she'll be fine. The way you feel about her… you couldn't hurt her."
"Thanks, Emmett. I miss talking this way. In fact I miss you," I muttered.
"Well, you've been a little busy the past year. I understand, but your time is running out, you know," he added in.
"Times running out for what?" I asked puzzled.
"The time you're allotted for your first love. You're allowed to neglect your family and friends for awhile at first, but you're times running out," he said laughing.
"Whatever, Emmett. You're hilarious," I answered.
Getting back to what our agenda was in the first place, Emmett rose and began hunting again. Sitting quietly with my thoughts I reflected on what Emmett had said to me. He was right, perhaps this issue needed more of my attention. I had never seriously considered it prior to this because I always assumed it was impossible. Maybe it wasn't, perhaps with extreme control we could minimize any damage… what was I saying? Damage, harm, injury or worse, there was no way to know for certain, and I would never purposely put her in that kind of danger. And for what? My own needs, my own satisfaction, how selfish could I really be?
Damn Emmett for persuading me to have these thoughts. Okay, they didn't all come from Emmett, and I had thought them before, but I had never really considered it and I wouldn't now. She remained too soft and fragile for such actions and they would never happen while she remained human. That was one thing I knew for certain.
How did my thoughts go from protecting her to literally putting her in danger? Requesting my brain to return to the issue at hand. Her safety remained the only issue. How would I protect her from dangers that were unknown to me? The only way I knew how was to remain with her at all times, which I had already failed at, allowing her to go off with him. Technically, it was for my benefit, assuming I would be in Seattle tonight, but I also wanted her to return to a normal existence. Being able to do what she wanted to. Not feeling as though she had to ask my permission to do stuff. These decisions could no longer be up to me, she should be able to come and go as she pleased.
"Edward, stop thinking already," Emmett yelled.
"Are you finished?" I asked.
"Sure, where to now?" he asked.
"I figure we can go have a run around Bella's neighborhood. See what we can see. Make sure everything else is okay. I need to keep an eye on Charlie," I answered.
"Sounds good, let's go." Emmett agreed.
"What about the car?" I said as we were heading out of the forest.
"Leave it here we'll pick it up later," Emmett said.
We took off running in the direction of Bella's house. It felt good, being able to do something other than wait. Protecting Charlie would be what she would want and I was here to make her happy. Coming to a stop in the forest outside of her house, feelings of uncertainty came flooding back as I peer up at her bedroom window.
Remembering the first time I had looked up at that window was a fond memory. The uncertain feeling I had then was similar to the one I was having now. Back then I wondered if I should be here at all, and today I had the same thought, not much had changed at all. The only thing that did change was the love I had for her and it seemed the love she had for me had changed a bit, too. Unable to think my love could be stronger, it was, but at that time, I didn't know it was love. Truly believing I desired to kill her. Now, that just seemed amusing, there was no way I could hurt her… intentionally.
Staring at her window the question loomed in my mind. Was this wrong? Our relationship… my involvement in her life… the past year and a half. Was this all wrong? Was Jacob right, if I had not returned, would she have ended up with him, and would that be better for her? Trading one creature for another didn't appear to be the best answer, but with him she would remain human, I couldn't argue with that. So many questions with no definite answers.
Standing here, staring at her house, brought memories flooding of my first mistake. Coming here, to watch her sleep, instead of running out of town, was where I went wrong. Never returning from Denali, would've been the wisest decision, and if I had to do it all again I would've…
Apparently, it didn't matter what I would've done at this point. At this time, the only thing that mattered was what I did, and dealing with the consequences of those actions. Bringing me back to the reason, I was here in the first place. To make certain Charlie was safe and sound. And from what I'd seen, he was settled on the couch for the evening, and perfectly healthy.
Turning I went to find Emmett, who was wandering on the other side of the forest. Coming closer to him, I was eager to leave.
"Emmett, were finished here. Let's get my car and head back to the house," I said.
"Sure thing, Edward," he replied.
We ran back heading for my car. Arriving, we jumped in, and I roared the engine to life. Spinning around I heading for the highway. Speeding toward the house, it was a quiet ride home. When I pulled up the driveway to the house, Emmett finally spoke.
"Edward, you're not thinking about doing anything crazy again? Are you?" he questioned me.
"No –like what?" I asked.
"Like leaving again…" he asked quietly.
"No, Emmett. It's way too late for that. I couldn't leave now, even if I wanted to. I'm in this forever, this time," I answered.
A smile spread across his face.
"That's good, because I'm enjoying this whole thing. It's been quite exciting around here," he continued to smile.
"For you, yeah. Not as exciting for me, though," I frowned. "It's been excruciating for me."
"I know, but it'll get better," he said.
Pulling into the garage, we got out and headed for the house. Waiting on the porch was Alice. Who didn't appear very happy.
"You two have some explaining to do!" she scowled at us.
"Alice, give it up, we didn't go anywhere," Emmett snapped back.
"You just about gave me a heartache, which isn't an easy thing to do," she snapped.
"I'm sorry, Alice. It won't happen again. I promise," I said softly.
"You're right it won't happen again, because next time I'll go straight to Carlisle and Rosalie, and you can deal with them," she scoffed.
I'd never seen Alice this upset before. This couldn't just be about us attempting to go to Seattle. There had to be something else at play here. Emmett walked past her and went into the house.
"Alice, what's wrong?" I asked concerned.
"Nothing," she said blankly.
Reading her mind, I couldn't figure it out.
"Tell me what's happening Alice. You know I'm going to find out anyway," I snapped at her.
"Edward, there's nothing going on. That's the problem," she replied.
"What's the problem?" I asked confused.
"The fact that I can't seemed to figure anything out. I have nothing. There's nothing going on, and yet I know there is. It's very discouraging to be so useless," she answered quietly.
"Alice, you've never been useless," I said.
"I feel it now. Why can't I see anything? Why can't I tell you who was at Bella's house? I feel so… so… normal," she said lowering her head between her hands.
"You are far from normal. And when there is something to see, you'll see it. I know I expect too much from you, and I know I can be demanding. And I'm sorry about that, but don't think you've let me down, because you haven't. I need you more than I ever did, and I'm counting on you to help me figure this out. Okay?" I asked.
"Okay."
"Now, let's head inside and figure this out," I offered.
With that we were on our feet heading through the front door.
Everyone was gathered in the living room. Carlisle rose when we entered.
"Well, everything all right?" he asked.
"Yes. Any thoughts on the latest situation?" I asked.
"Nothing new. Perhaps, if we went over everything again, maybe that would help," Carlisle suggested.
"Okay, then. Where do we start?" I asked.
"Let's start from the beginning," he offered. "What do we know for certain?"
"We know that someone was in Bella's house and took her stuff early in the morning when she was here…"
Carlisle interrupted me. "That's correct, Bella was here, not home," he thought to himself for a moment.
"Where are you going with this?" I asked as he walked to the window to stare out.
"Well, I just thought, that's quite a coincidence, don't you think?" he paused. "That whoever it was would pick a night that Bella won't come home. How often does that happen? How often are you and Bella not there?" he asked, smiling.
"Never… it's never happened before… except when we went to Florida," I answered.
"Exactly. Coincidence or did they know you two wouldn't be there?" Carlisle asked mostly to himself. "That would be quite a coincidence."
"Your right, but who would know we wouldn't be there?"
"The question isn't who knew, Edward," Carlisle added.
Thinking about this last statement, I was confused, but Esme wasn't.
"The question is how long have they been watching?" Esme said quickly as she gasped.
"Exactly. The question is how long someone has been watching us. Moreover, if that were true, then "he stopped to think again
"What Carlisle? What are you thinking?" Jasper intervened.
"How long before they'll be back?" he left the question hanging there as no one said a word. He was correct, that was exactly it.
"So let me get this straight. If someone didn't have the best luck in the world picking a night that Bella would be out all night, then we'd have assume they've been watching… well, at least her. And, if they knew about her, they knew about us. If that someone where watching and waiting for the perfect opportunity to enter Bella's house to take her stuff, then that same someone would be back. Otherwise, this all would have been for nothing and we've already ruled out coincidence. But what was the motive?" I asked.
"Well, that parts a little bit fuzzy," Carlisle said.
"How do you mean?" I asked anxiously.
"At first I thought you and Alice were right. At first, I thought it was Volturi, but honestly Edward, this isn't their style, they don't work this way. If they wanted Bella dead,… she'd be dead. So, that leaves our friend Victoria, and yes, it could very well be her. I guess my point is, until we have more information, until we know who it is and what they want, then we're at a stand still. There's nothing we can do, except watch and wait. Now, I know this bothers you, Edward. To wait for something else to happen, with Bella at such risk, but now that we know what to watch for, it'll be easier," Carlisle finished.
"All right, Carlisle. I'll wait, but we can't let our guard down, not for one moment. We have to remain on top of everything," I said glancing at Alice. "We can't afford to miss anything," I begged her.
"I won't, Edward. I'll see anyone coming this time. I promise," she trailed off. "Unless, of course, they come through the wolves. There's nothing I can do about that," she added with a frown on her face.
"The wolves will take care of their part of town. Don't worry about them. This is what they were created for… tracking. They have the nose for it, probably better than us," I said.
"All right then, everyone knows what's expected of them. So let's not let anyone get through without our knowledge. There are a town full of people besides Bella and her father to be concern for. There are a lot of lives at stake here, and I sure don't want to be responsible for anything happening to anyone of them. Okay?" Carlisle asked.
Everyone nodded in agreement. The room cleared out as everyone went on to resume what they were doing before I entered the house. Remaining on the couch I tossed around the many things that were spoken. Until Carlisle had mentioned them, the people of the town hadn't even crossed my mind. To know that our visitor probably didn't share our hunting style was disturbing. This town could be similar to a buffet at a restaurant, anything you wanted, anytime. Having the knowledge that by being who we were, could hurt so many innocent people, didn't sit well with me. But I've done everything in my power to make certain that no harm came to anyone in this tiny, cloudy, town, that I now called home.
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