Stephanie Hwang
I dipped my foot into the cold water and sat on the ledge, watching over Tae as he swam laps and kind of floated in the middle of the pool. He didn't notice e there till I kicked water at him and started to splash.
"Hey, didn't see you there."
"Hi."
"Miss me?"
"Kind of." I said quietly. Any louder and it'll fuel the guys ego.
He was really cute. Like adorable cute. Taebear. I mean, ever since we kind of 'made up' he's been really careful, respecting boundaries here and there. We're taking things slow, and I like that. But at the same time I wanted it to go faster, just because.
He swam over to me and yanked my leg, pulling me right in the water. I didn't even have time to scream because I was submerged.
I popped back up to meet a stupid smug smiled Tae.
I hit his shoulder, but still clung onto him. I didn't want to float away. "What the hell."
He shrugged. "You look better when wet."
"That was super sexual."
"It wasn't meant to be." He said while laughing like he's proud of himself.
"Dickhead." I muttered. He had a hand on my ass and squeezed it hard. I kicked him in the crotch by accident because of habit and he sunk down in the water, grabbing his man hood.
"Fucking keep your legs to yourself!"
"I'm sorry! It was reflex!"
"Ow! What the fuck, I know your legs are nice and all but you don't have to physically show me!"
"I'm sorry!" I whined.
He pulled me right up to him and the water splashed against us. His sneaky hand went down my back before giving my ass a tight squeeze and I screamed, slapping his hand and pushing away from him.
I got out the pool despite his loud protests and borderline tantrum.
"Miyoungie! Get in here! Give me that ass!"
"In your dreams!" I said, sticking my tongue out at him and grabbing his towel.
He growled and looked like a cute puppy. He got out of the pool and when I heard his wet padded feet move along the sounds of the pool and closer to me I felt like a prey.
I ran around the pool, scared and giggling like no tomorrow.
"Go away!" I screamed at him.
"Come here!" He said, running around the pool trying to catch up to me.
"You're going to hit me!"
"I'd like to call it, playfully smacking your fine ass." He said wiggling his brows. I hate him.
"Tae!"
"Give me that booty." He says, making grabby hands. I had to circle around the deck chairs but you know. I'm Fany. I'm clumsy. So I tripped on myself and fell, scraping my palm.
I looked up at Tae with a face like:
:c
He ran over to me and took my hand into his. "You stupid! Look what happened!"
Lovingly scolding. I approve.
He pulled me upstairs and sat me on the bed, grumbling something to himself before plopping a first aid kit beside me.
"Hand out Ms. Hwang. You're about to be treated by the best doctor in town."
"Shut up, all you ever do is sit at home and play The Sims 4."
"Hey, don't judge. It's a great game." He frowned, defending his one and only prideful game.
He pulled my hand and dabbed it with a cotton ball or something. He cleaned it before putting a blue bandaid on it.
I glared at the bandaid disapprovingly. "It's an ugly colour, why can't I get the pink one?"
"You cut your hand because you didn't open your eyes wide enough to see where you were going. A pink bandaid is the least of your worries honeybeans."
"I'm just trying to make a fashion statement." I grumble.
I laid back onto the mattress and shut my eyes. Exhaustion swept me over and all I ever wanted t do was curl up in my bed and lay there. Like, do nothing productive for the rest of the day.
I heard the bathroom door slide open and I did a mini sit up just to see Taetae buttoning up his shirt. I threw monkey George at him and it hit his back. He picked it back up and threw it back at me, it hit my head and I whined. I can never win.
"Where are you going? Work?" I asked. turning my body to face him. I mean, I wasn't going to miss this show of him dressing up. He looks hot.
He nodded, but then shook his head. "Uh, I need to go back." Work at this hour? On this day? Huh.
"Go back where. .?"
"The nightclub. ." He said barely.
". . .?" I swear to god if he's there to pick up chicks I'm going to punch him.
"Triad . . Jonghyun's gone now. I'm forced to take his place." Oh, that type of work.
I ran up to him and grabbed onto Tae's hand and pulled him back. "No, please no. Taetae everything associated with that crap always turns out bad. I thought you could leave now? That guy, Eunhyuk he's d-dead? Isn't he?"
He chuckled and patted my hand, turning me around so he could rest his stupid tall self and his head on on top of mine, making us face the mirror as he waddled everywhere with me. "I know, but there's things I have to tie up. You know, to make sure Jonghyun and his family are going to be okay."
"Tae, please? Nothing good is going to come out of this." I begged, tugging onto his arms.
"Fany-ah, I have to do this for Jonghyun. Okay? Please don't fight me on this. It means a lot to me." He said softly. I didn't have the heart to stop him. Jonghyun means so much to him.
I pulled him down and made him hug me. I held him tight and kissed his jaw, palming his cheek.
"Taetae? Just please be safe then?" I looked into his tender eyes and he nodded.
"I promise. Don't worry about me."
"How can I not worry Taeyeon-ah?"
"I'll be okay. Trust me."
"Promise me every time you have to do something involving that group you will come back to me?"
"Taengo promises Fany." He says, sticking up his pinky finger. I hooked mine with his and he kissed my hand, sealing it with that promise.
"If you break it, I would have no choice but to beat you up Kim Taeyeon."
"Yes ma'am."
"Go, but come back in one piece." I tapped his butt but still didn't let him go. He smothered me in a bunch of kisses before letting me go.
"Bye love." He said with a little wave.
"Bye Taeng."
"No love?" He says with a pout.
"Love tonight if you come home." His eyes widened and I'll let him interpret what it means.
"Are you going anywhere today?"
"Date with Sooyoung."
"Ah, right. Here take this." He said pulling out his wallet and giving me his credit card. "Buy whatever you want. Don't worry about the limit."
"Tae no it's okay I have my own money." I said, but I kept staring at the gold and black card. That thing was loaded. But I felt bad for taking his money.
"No, take it and spend it. Or I'll close all your bank accounts myself and you'll have no choice but to use mine."
"Tae."
"Bye Fany, have fun. Tell Sooyoung I said hi." He sniggered and walked out, closing the door.
I held the plastic card that was worth a fortune in my hand and jumped in excitement.
I'm going to max out this thing and drain it by accident.
Oops.
Operation: Date with Soo.
I got into the mall and sat outside of Victoria Secret, tapping my foot impatiently as I called on the tall giraffe. "Girl, you take forever what the hell."
"I'm coming! Turn around!"
I turned around and stretched myself to find her. Still couldn't though. "I still can't see you!"
"Grow taller!"
"Shut up!" I felt a tap and I see her smile innocently. I hooked our arms together and dragged her into the store.
"Took you three days to finally go on a date with me? Is Taeyeon more important than me now?"
"You know how we are. . . leave me alone."
"I still don't like him. I can't believe you're still with him. Look what he di-"
"Soo, not now please? Lets get you some nice lingerie so you can ave a dick appointment."
"Actually, I met this guy."
"Wait, stop." I pulled the bra out of her hands and threw it back onto the little stand. "Age, name, occupation."
"33, Jung Kyung-Ho. . actor."
I gasped a pretty loud gasp. "You landed a fucking actor?!"
"You landed a fucking billionaire shut up!" She snapped, hushing me and yanking me out of the store.
"You, landed the Jung Kyung-Ho though! Oh my god I watch his dramas like all the time why didn't you tell me?! Can I please get his autograph I'm like his biggest fan."
"Why do I have a feeling you like him more than I do."
"Because I'm his biggest fan?!"
"Okay, stop fangirling over my future bae and lets go get food. You're paying."
"Wait wait, can I please please please meet him? Sooyoungie, please please?" I begged, clasping my hands together as I trailed behind her.
"Maybe." She mumbled.
"I looooooooove you." I squealed, jumping up and down. People were staring but I didn't care. She sighed, and I felt like she was my mother.
I love shopping, and by shopping I mean buying every possible bag, dress, and shoes that were on display. I went to the high end section of them all, splurging on every brand name purse I could get my hands on.
Obviously I flashed that gold and black plastic card that didn't have my name written on it. Soo had her mouth opened the entire time, shaking her head every time I told her it was Tae's card.
But when I had the receipts in my hand as I was in Soo's car getting driven back home I stared at the 5 digit number I managed to accumulate. Oh my god, he's going to kill me if he finds out.
Or, he'll be a total nice guy about it and say it's okay.
Or, he's going to kill me.
Definitely the last one, for sure. I slumped back into my seat and looked over to Soo. I guess she knew what I was thinking because she started to laugh and shake her head. "Girl, you're so dead." She said. I groaned and dreaded going back home.
But when she turned the radio down and glanced at me briefly I had my attention all on her.
"What?" I asked.
"Fany, do you remember when Taeyeon came to visit you back home at San Frans? That time where both of you broke it off for a couple of months?"
"Yeah?"
"I told him where you were when he asked me."
"Why? I thought you weren't particularly fond of him."
"I'm not, but it's just that I felt like it was needed. That Cheolwoo guy, I had a feeling he was bad news." She trails off, looking unsure.
"Okay and? What are you trying to say." I pressed with caution.
"Taeyeon. He means well. But he's stupid, but he's okay. I guess." She kept tapping the steering wheel and I couldn't stop smiling.
"Maybe he's right for you. I mean, looking at your past ex's, he seems pretty good. Aside from the stupid shit he's done, but other than that he's okay." She mumbled. She breathed out and I felt like that took a lot of balls to say.
She hated him so bad.
Awh, Soo warming up to the idea of Tae. I just felt giddy the rest of the car ride home.
Accept my Taebear, because we're going to take over the world.
As soon as I opened the door to Tae's house I sprinted upstairs with my bag filled hands and stuffed them in the closet. I threw a blanket over it and tried to hide it, but if he looked close enough he would've known that unusual lump in the middle of his shoe collection.
Oh my god, he's going to kill me.
Whatever, I occupied myself with cleaning his house. There was only like 4 hours left before he came home. The least I can do is try to lessen the wrath of angry Tae before he comes home.
Shopping Me Sooyoungie A powerful plastic card with practically an unlimited supply of $$$ = Bad.
"Babycakes? I'm home!" I looked up fro my magazine and stared at the door. the shadowy figure hopping on one foot trying to take his sock off was my bear.
"Are you hurt?" I asked, inspecting him from top to toe. I made him lean down so I could peel open his shirt. Especially his chest and back. It actually came to be a routine every time he came home. I needed to know if my bear got mauled and scratched at.
"Keep your hands to your self. You're invading my personal space."
"Personal space my ass, take off your shirt." He rolls his eyes and I smacked his ass in retaliation, disliking his attitude.
He pulled his shirt off anyways and I scanned my eyes up and down his muscular taut body.
All clear.
"Give me a kiss." He demands after I slip his shirt back on for him.
"Go away."
He walks closer to me, hovering above me. "Fany-ah, kissy." He puckers his lips and leans even further down and I had to use all my strength to push him back up with my palms pressed against his chest.
"You haven't showered!"
"Woman, kissy and I will shower." I glared at him but still gave him a little kiss. He smiled and smacked my ass, walking towards the bathroom while whistling.
Pfft.
I went to the kitchen and heated up some leftovers for him, placing them in the microwave and waiting.
I took it out with a smile, placing it on the table on the right side where he always sat.
I only wanted his approval, and the best for him.
He came back down with a sparkly wet chest and equally damp hair.
I reached out for him and squealed, fangirling about Tae.
"Your hunky ass is all mine." I cooed as I hugged him super tightly. My face pressed against his chest.
"You're like my biggest fan Fany."
"I can not deny that to be honest. You smell so nice." I said still pressing my face into his chiseled chest.
"Why are you so clingy these days?" He said trying to pry me off him. Didn't work though.
"Do you not want me to be? Fine." I let go of him and he laughed, pulling me back into his lap. "Go away." Ironic how I still latched onto him.
"You always shoo me away but then you act like this. Little koala bear, you know like me. I'm your walking tree."
"A stupid tree." I mumbled.
"A sexy tree."
"Ew." I pushed his face away that was leaning in for a kiss and sat in his lap as he ate his dinner. Both of us were watching some trash reality TV show, but I wouldn't have it anyway. I'd rather spend my days here with him, than go back home to San Fransico where he wasn't there.
I felt like his one and only girl sitting in his lap. I don't know, I'm a romantic. I like my Disney princess stories, chick flicks and romance novels. I watched The Notebook 6 times, cried 6 times. Watched The Vow a good 3 times too, bawled my eyes out each time.
It's not like I wanted to be lonely. I'm not, but I felt like it when he wasn't there. I can honestly say that when we broke it off I realized how happy he truly makes me. That type of loneliness was gone, and it's only when I'm with him.
"Come here Taetae." I pat my lap, and he quickly darts to me letting himself rest on me.
I run my hands through his damp hair massaging his scalp. He closes his eyes and the next thing I know is he's asleep on my lap.
"You must be really tired Taeyeon-ah." I rub his ears softly, still rubbing his head. Yet he's tired of going to his shady 'work' which I still didn't approve him. Gang's my ass, whatever that 18K thing was I hope they die. They caused so much pain for a lot of people.
"I wanted to spend my night with you today but I keep dying on you, I'm sorry." He mumbles which startles me, I thought he was asleep.
"Let's get you to bed hm?"
"Let's go my piggy." He pulls me up, carrying me in his arms.
As soon as we both touched the bed we clung to each other like magnets, enjoying each other's presence as we drift off to sleep slowly.
"Taetae, sleep. You're tired." I said, rubbing the shell of his ear soothingly.
He hummed and within a few moments fell asleep like a little baby.
Even though he was spooning me I could hear his unsteady breathing and little movements behind me which made me restless. I wasn't sleeping just yet, I was on my phone for like an hour or so. But he kept moving after time passed and it was weird.
"Taetae? What's wrong?"
He stops his movements and snuggles closer to my neck. "Huh? I thought you were asleep. Sorry I'll stop."
"I was, but something's bothering you. Everything okay?"
"How do you even know? It's nothing, go to sleep okay? I'll tell you later." He whispers as he reaches for the duvet covers pulling it up further to cover the both of us.
"I just know Taeyeon-ah, I don't know how but I just do. I'm here for you." I grasp the hand on my waist tighter, letting him know.
"Mm."
He never did tell me what was on his mind since that night, but I never pushed on it. It was better not to.
When I felt the big hunky arm missing from around my waist and my muscular arm pillow gone a couple of hours later, I turned around to see my rock had migrated somewhere. How dare he leave me alone and make me miss my human pillow. I can't wait for him to come back because I am impatient and I want my bear back.
I walk down the stairs to hear the gentle clinging of bottles and the pitch black living room become illuminated softly from the refrigerator light.
There he was, Tae bear inhaling a plate of cookies and a tall glass of milk in front of the refrigerator at 3 in the morning. He was in his little cute bear pjs and oh my he looked cute as ever despite shoveling cookies as fast as he can humanly possible down his throat.
"What are you doing?" I barely asked with my voice laced with sleep.
He stops what he's doing and froze. He turn around sheepishly before smiling his cute dimple and placing down the diabetic combo. "Midnight snack?" He replies with a mouth full of cookies.
"Ugh, finish up and come to bed. I miss cuddle bear." I wrap my arms around his waist and I could hear him still munching on god knows what. The man eats everything in sight. Plus, I felt crumbs land on top of my head.
"Yah! That means stop eating and go to bed! It's 3 in the morning never mind a midnight snack you idiot!" I took the cookies out of his mouth and then threw them in the sink before grabbing his hand and marching up the stairs. I ignored his complaints and plead for me to stop and let him finish his meal.
I brushed the crumbs off my head and glared at him in the dark. I sighed at his protests but I still can't stop loving him to bits at his cuteness.
The day after he made me cancel my plans to meet Sooyoung. I had no idea why but I did it anyways, begging my best friend over the phone to not slaughter me and slap my Tae.
I didn't know where we going, but with Tae beside me I didn't question it too much. I was never really worried when I was him.
Only because I know he'll protect me, like he always does.
We did however stop by a flower shop and he picked up a bouquet of lavenders. He didn't give them to me though and he made sure I wasn't 'offended.'
I told him I wasn't unless he was giving it to some other girl he was planning to court. I would've smacked him to the moon.
He did get me a 10 nugget meal from McDonalds however and I tell you, he's my favourite.
I held his hand and tried to match his walking pace, he's so tall with long legs that he took bigger steps than me and I hated it.
I felt like I had to jog to catch up to him, and e saw. He knew, and he laughed at me all the time.
"Go slower! You know I have short legs!"
"Sorry ma'am."
We walked past a couple of tombstones and I felt like this was part of a horror movie, but it was kind of like a private cemetery. There was only a couple of stone slabs, and they were pretty big and 'luxurious.'
We stopped in the middle of the grass fields and I wasn't watching where I was going so I kind of ran into his back. I rubbed my nose and slapped his shoulder.
"Taeyeon-ah, that hurt." I whined.
He hummed and kissed my nose, which was weird because he never does any of that cheesy stuff.
I looked up and he glanced down with his eyes.
I followed and in that gravestone I saw a picture of a really pretty woman on the gravestone.
Oh. He placed a bouquet of flowers beside her and took out a handkerchief to wipe the stone clean.
"Hi mom, I brought a pretty girl to see you." He said so proudly. Damn it, I feel mushy now.
But I really really really was anxious, worried and not okay. I was so nervous meeting his mom. I wanted to scream.
Pfft.
I swayed our hands together and smiled, finding him so utterly cute like this. I shied into his arm and didn't want to show my face.
"Remember you said that if you passed away I wasn't allowed to bring a girl to see you unless she was pretty, good at making dumplings, is able to wake me up, or boss me around? He cleared his throat and smirks."I present to you, the one and only person in the world who can do all of that, Hwang Miyoung!"
I hate him. I hate that name so much, I sound so old. I hit his shoulder. "Taeyeon-ah." I frowned.
"Sorry, sorry. Miyoung Hwang."
"Taetae!"
"Miyoungie?"
"Taeyeon!" He starts laughing uncontrollably. Dick.
"As you can see, she is loud, really energetic, bubbly, loud, and I like her."
"Hi. Mrs. Kim. I'm Stephanie, Taeyeon's best friend, personal body guard, portable heat pack, cuddle buddy at night, back massager, manager, therapist, and part time secret admirer."
"You make it sound like I'm the most needy person in the world." He groans, scratching the back of his head.
"Well, are you not?"
"Touché. But not infront of mom please." He says, nodding in agreement.
We bickered in front of her gravestone and if she was here right now I'm pretty sure the both of us would get smacked up right at the side of our heads.
I smile at him. He's adorable to be talking to his mother because I'm the same way. Anytime I had hardships or was upset, I'd go to my mother. I knew she was watching me everyday up there but visiting her was something special. I'd tell her everything, from my day, to my current crushes, why I cried, why I was upset, anything and everything as if she was still with me.
We sat infront of her. Well I sat in between Tae's legs and I enjoyed that one arm wrapped around my tummy. All I heard was Tae pulling out clumps of grass and I scolded him, saying how it was ruining his mothers resting place.
"Mom never really liked grass. I always stained my jeans with grass because I'd slide across it every time I went out to play. She could never wash it out." He mumbled, still taming chunks of earth out and sprinkling it on my leg. I had to brush myself clean every now and then but I didn't mind if it kept him a little occupied.
I couldn't stop smiling. All I thought was little Tae being yelled at. Aw.
We talked nonsense, me and Tae just reminiscing about us. Half the time we were just playfully arguing, wanting to show Mrs. Kim who was better. I think I won. But when things were as light hearted and funny, it got a bit serious
He talked about us, and by us I mean our little hiccups. I didn't really wanted to be reminded of anything in the past, because now I have him. We're here together, and that is what I reminded him when he got a little too sad about making me 'cry'.
"I feel bad." He kept saying. He looked so sad too.
"It's okay." He shook his head and kept playing with my fingers while leaning his chin on my shoulder. "Is it okay?" He mumbled.
"Yeah, stop being glum."
"Plum." He said out of the blue. It took me a couple of seconds to decipher what he meant. This loser tried to rhyme with me.
"Dumb." I shot back.
"Bum." He said laughing.
"Byuntae."
"We almost had an intense rap battle there."
"Almost, but I think your mom can agree my bars are better than yours."
"Wanna fight Ms.Hwang?"
"Not now, not infront of your mom. Imagine if she had to listen to me beat your scrawny ass with my flaming lines."
"You know, if anything I'd think you're a bully to me. Straight up savage."
"I can't help it, sorry."
"You fill in the requirements to be a gangster." He joked. I slapped his leg that was beside mine so hard and he yelped. " Fany-ah." He whined. "No abuse in front of mom please, save it for the bedroom." he sniggers. Oh my god this guy doesn't stop.
"I don't want to be a gangster. ." Because Tae was one. God damn it.
"Oh, right. Sorry." He mumbled, changing the topic to something else. I guess the three of us talked for so long because when the sky dimmed and the wind that was blowing the grass and little flowers on the field felt a little stronger, Tae wrapped me in his jacket. "I think it's time to go now, maybe let mom have a little nap. She's probably tired of hearing us kids."
We had one last laughed but when we got up and I patted my butt clean of debris, I turned one more time towards her. "Mrs. Kim, I really like your stupid son."
"I'm not stupid. I just like to think I'm slow. ."
"You're stupid." I reminded him, squeezing his hand playfully. He glares back at me before breaking out into a smile.
"Even though your son's kind of a handful, annoying, a total baby, and sometimes a hard boiled egg, I'll take care of him." I promise to take care of him, because he's done the same to me.
"I won't leave him." I whispered. I can't leave him.
He didn't say anything but I saw how his eyes went a bit glossy. We both said goodbye to her because the sun was setting and it was a bit chilly. His excuse was that I'd catch a cold or something. But I didn't want to leave just yet, I wanted to know more about him and his mother. His childhood was cute. In the end we still left and we walked side by side out of the sacred place.
I loved being in car rides with Tae. It meant that I could turn up the radio as loud as I want and start rapping. He found it really amusing, so it was a win win. I felt mot comfortable when it was just me and him. Tae and I. No one else, but us in our little world.
"Wanna be rapper, psht." He grumbled, raising the windows of the car.
"Jealous? I'm spitting flaming bars, I told you if me and you were in a rap battle I'd win."
"You're so . . wild. I like it."
"Have you seen a drunk Fany? I don't think you have."
"Do you turn like, extremely sexy or something? Because I'm all up for that." He says, nodding his head and giving me a thumbs up.
"Wanna find out?" I purred.
He wolf whistles and winks at me. Byuntae to the maximum overdrive.
My phone started to ring obnoxiously multiple times and I fished it out of my bad. I had a couple of texts from Cheolwoo asking me to talk or whatever. But I swiped the notification closed and shoved my phone deep into my pocket.
Something about it felt so wrong when Tae was here. I dismissed it quickly and he never did question it. He just made fun of my ringtone and turned the music louder.
Maybe our thing was to go sit in the beach by his house and say nothing but just be with each other. That's exactly what we did when we got home.
I liked that. His company was enough for me, just like that car ride.
I sat in between his legs while he had his hands wrapped around my waist.
I took his hands and put them into the pockets of his sweater that I happened to steal and wear.
Our hands were so cozy and warm in the hoody pocket. I leaned back and kissed his cheek where he happened to rest on my shoulder. He scrunched his face up and started to make weird animal sounds just because he's Tae, and he's weird.
"This is a bunch of cheese." He said with a chuckle. I felt his rumbles form his chest.
"What is?"
"Our position right now."
"You ruin so many things it's not even funny."
He laughed and held me closer to his front, kissing me here and there.
"Tae?"
"Yeah?"
"Love."
"Love?" He questioned.
"I love you." I said.
"Fany-ah, stop it. You're making me blush, heh." I smacked his forehead, scolding him for always ruining the moment.
"I'm not good at romance, leave me alone bully." He muttered.
"But you. . you look pretty." He said with such pride. It was my turn to blush.
"Shut up."
"You look pretty."
I turned around and pushed on his chest. The wind blowing on his hair made him ooze handsomeness and I wouldn't want him any other way.
He's very charming, very manly and at the same time was so kid like.
"Peanut. ." I mumbled, combing his hair with my fingers.
"What."
"Peanut. ."
"What is that?" He asked, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear.
"You're my peanut."
"Whatever happened to bear." He says, skeptical and put off from my abundance of cute nicknames for him.
"You're still that too."
He scoffs. "Then you can be my hippo."
"What the he- excuse me?" I was literally shook, baffled.
"I thought we were giving each other animal names, no?"
"Hippos aren't cute, what are you trying to say!"
"On the contrary, I think hippos are actually adorably cute. Like yeah they're wrinkly and fat but . ." He trails off and stops when I was having fumes come out of my ears.
"See! Are you calling me fat, and or wrinkly. ."
He put his hands up, surrendering and shaking his head frantically. "Okay let's just go for nut names then. You can be my pecan. Or my walnut."
"No."
"Why not? I'm peanut to you now."
I flicked his forehead and he covered it with his hand, whining that it hurts.
"I think mom likes you."
"I hope so."
"She does, you can get my ass up early in the morning. She cant even do that without beating my head a couple of times."
"I don't blame her, you sleep like a rock."
"Heh." He laughed. He laid back down on the cold grainy sand and I curled up next to him, head resting on his arm. I saw how he looked up at the sky, the side of his face I will never get tired of looking at.
My knuckles rubbed his jaw, it seemed to be like a growing habit of mine. It just looked too damn sharp. So kissable too.
He turned his head towards me and I retracted my hand, opting to put it on his abdomen instead. "Let's run away, go to Disneyland or something." He placed his hand on top of mine and held it between his fingers. His gentle rubbings were almost as soothing as the cold air and I thought I'd fall asleep.
"We can't just disappear Tae, what will everyone say?" I mumble/
"We'll leave a note on the bed or something."
"Like the time you asked me to sneak you out of the hospital?"
"Yeah. You trust me, right?" I nodded, of course. You saved my life, how can I not.
"Then let's escape this stupid place for now, go somewhere happier." He had the cutest frown on his face and I couldn't help but kiss his jaw.
"I wanted to tell her that I liked spending my days with you. That I wanted to do that for a long time. I hope we go on for a long time you know?" I leaned into his neck and stayed there, hearing his voice and ocean waves.
"There's no doubt that I hope that too."
"You're very precious to me Miyoungie. I wish she was still here to see that. She would've loved you the way she loved me. She would've accepted you as her own kid damn it." I looked up and he had a cheeky smile. I pressed on his little dimple with my finger and shied away, choosing to take shelter in the crook of his neck.
"Stupid, you're a handful of cheese." My voice came out muffled against his shoulder.
He cupped my cheek and wiped my bottom lip. I wanted to look away, I was too shy all of a sudden. He didn't let me though, he had a firm but gentle hold on my chin and then he kissed me.
"You're so beautiful, Ms. Hwang."
He laid me down on the sand, his h and rubbing the side of my thigh. He slot himself between me and that warm hand trailing up my cold body had me addicted.
He trailed his kisses down my lips to my neck, nibbling there as I slid my fingers in between his hair, holding him closer.
"Taeyeon-ah." I managed to say, tugging on his hair to get his attention. He hovered above me, hands planted on either side of my head.
I let me eyes do the talking and the next thing I knew, he picked me up effortlessly and carried me to the house. His lips still found a way to mine as we did, we almost tripped and fell but we were so eager.
As soon as he closes the door behind us and places my two feet on the oak floor, he gently pushes me against the wall trapping me between his arms that are placed on either side of my head on the wall behind me.
The fiery feeling in the pit of my stomach took over me and I wanted him so bad.
I grab his shirt pulling him closer and were just centimeter apart. He just smirks cockily and I shot him a glare.
There was a burning lust in his eyes like I've never seen before.
"Fuck it." He says and kisses me aggressively on my lips.
I couldn't keep my hands off him as he pushes in closer deepening the kiss. I grab the hem of his shirt tugging it up halfway signaling him to raise his arms up.
I rip away his shirt and undid his tie, his hands roam on my body from my waist and up.
"Taeyeon-ah." I mumble against his lips breathless as neither of us want to break apart.
He leaves small kisses from my lips to my neck sucking on that sweet spot that made my legs go weak. I couldn't help but let my hands get lost into his hair, gently tugging it when it felt too good.
I'm a squirming mess under him and I have nothing to grab but the the sides trousers.
"Tae-Taeyeon-ah, bed." He leaves one last wet suck before picking me up hastily and carries me, knocking over furniture and stumbling up the stairs as he continues to nestle his face in the crook of my neck.
He kicks the door close and we both get thrown on the bed with him on top of me. His hands roam up and down my body and up my dress. He pulls it off of me in one swift motion and I couldn't help but blush because he's never seen me almost bare before.
My hand slips between the waistband of his boxer briefs and slid down, I cup his ass and he groans in my mouth and his excitement was hard to miss when it's pressed up against me.
"I want you Steph." He says almost inaudibly as he took my earlobe into his lips nibbling on it.
"You have no idea how long I have been waiting for this, no idea." He growls into my ear and pushes me harder on the bed.
"I'd rather we do it than you telling me how long you've waited for me. We'd be here all night." I mutter and he rips out a deep rich laugh.
"Someones eager. Welcome to the club hot stuff." His harsh breathing on my neck and that intoxicatingly smell of his scent mixed with his sweat was driving me insane.
He starts to unbuckle his belt and I closed my eyes at the sound of the zipper. I opened them when it stopped and bit my lip at the sight.
"Baby you're so b-big." I moaned, still not getting over it. I think I heard him chuckle but I'm not even sure, I can't even think straight anymore.
"Take me, take all of me tonight Tae." I said as he went into bed with me, touching my thighs.
"Are you sure? I don't want to make you do something that you don't want to do or not ready for." He lifts his head up to look into my eyes, concern written all over them.
My heart just keeps beating faster. Even at a moment like this he still cares for my being, my emotional and physical state.
"I'm sure Taeyeon-ah, I want you to be my first and my only. Make me yours forever, mark me yours." I sealed it with a kiss and he smiles against my cheek.
"If it hurts, or if I'm too rough or you feel uncomfortable please tell me. Stop me immediately okay?" His eyes were glossy from the dim light in the corner of the room and I couldn't help but shed a tear too.
"You mean a lot to me, you're too precious and I'm scared I'll hurt you myself." I cup his face as his jaw clenches hard as he says those few words that manage to stir up my heart. A few traces on his jawline and he relaxes, still looking at me softly.
"I don't you to feel like you have to do this. I'll wait till you're ready, I have waited for a long time because I didn't want to cross lines that didn't have to be crossed. Something so pure, so innocent that you're going to give up for me. It won't be a mistake, but I want you to be sure that this is okay with you. Promise me in whatever circumstances were going to be in, tell me something, stop me, hit me, just say something if it's not right. Promise me." He says still looking at me with an out pour of love. I know he has been waiting since the day he met me. He's eager and wants it so bad, and I'll give my first to someone I truly love. Playboy billionaire man does not turn his lifestyle around in just a couple of months. He's never pushed it on me and I love him for that, I love that he cares and he knows the boundaries. He won't hurt me, and he just justified it for myself even more.
"I promise." He kisses my only tear away and brushes back my hair, combing it gently. Another look into his eyes again and this time it was filled with tender love.
"Make love to me Tae." I say huskily close to his ear, I feel him tightening underneath me and I look up to see his adam's apple bobbing up and down as he starts to sweat and grip my hips tightly. I let myself smirk as I caught him staring at me, and that's the moment where I had a Taeyeon.
He chuckles and brings me to bed, slowly laying me on the mattress as he hovers above me and kisses me along my neck and sucked hard on my pulse point making me grab his head and push his harder towards it.
The force of it made me feel the mark he left. He left a wet lick on it before smiling smugly. I take in his sweet masculine scent, and I felt myself grow hotter.
"Mine." He growls into my ear before leaning again to mark another part of me. My blood ran soldered and faster and I needed him.
"T-Tae, baby please." I whine and he trails his kisses down from my collarbone to the valley of my chest and dangerously close to my hips. He held my hand tight and I shut my eyes closed tightly.
I felt myself shudder at the faint touches and I grasped his hand tightly while my other hand crumpled up the silky bed sheets underneath me.
He kissed me on my lips and I opened my mouth ajar to let his tongue slip into mine. We battled for dominance but the squeeze on my hip sent me to surrender and let him take over. When he sucked hard on my muscle, I let out a frustrated whimper and he chuckles.
I felt myself getting warmer, hotter and all sorts of things we he kept teasing.
I moved underneath him and he pulled away, kissing my forehead as his hand caressed my side. It went further down to rest on my hips.
He sat up and I glanced down his abdomen and oh my god.
He hovered above me again and all eyes were on him and his tender gaze. It still had a hint of lust and I cupped his cheek.
"Taetae. ." I whispered.
"Hm." He leaned down to give me a couple of kisses but it felt like a distraction because I felt him press against my entrance.
I moaned against his mouth, grabbing onto his shoulder.
He trailed his hand into mine and held it tightly, clapping it together and squeezing it. He laid a kiss there too before looking back at me.
He grabbed a hold of himself and pressed it to my entrance. That warmth he gave off felt too good, and I looked up at him. He nuzzled his face into my neck and pushed in slightly.
Sounds of pleasure came out of the both of us and I gripped his shoulder tighter, my hand squeezing his and I felt my heart beat faster.
He stopped and looked up, I nodded and kissed his cheek. Letting him know that it was okay to keep going.
He furrowed his brow and pushed his way inside further. I froze and shut my eyes tight, gasping as I raked my nails down his back when the pain was met with pleasure.
He stopped midway and held my hand tighter. I was panting near his ear and I guess he caught that because he kissed my ear, shushing me.
He felt so good, so warm.
When he pushed the furthest in I yelped in pain. He broke it. He took it. He raised his head immodestly and cupped my cheeks, wiping away the tears that were there. He stopped and with that same tender gaze apologized through his eyes.
"Are you okay?" I nodded meekly. I touched his back and raised my hips, wanting him to continue.
I felt so full, so filled with him.
"Tae. ." I held him tighter when he got the message. Gently, he pushed in again, filling me up and making me feel so full. I winced every now and then at the Paul, but it soon got overclouded with pleasure.
Our breath got heavier and our kisses were sloppier. My hands couldn't stop caressing his tight back, hands getting lost in his hair and when he hit that certain spot I couldn't help but groan near his ear.
I curled my leg around his waist and caressed his tummy. "Faster." He granted my wish and pulled back, only to go back in gently yet at a faster pace.
I was so high off his love, so captivated by him every time he thrusters in and pulled out.
I loved how gentle he was with me, cared for me and always said he wouldn't hurt me.
But at that moment when we were making such sweet love, I couldn't help but think about the day he was going to go away. Leave me forever, he did that right infront of me.
I choked, and started to tear up. I wanted to shake that image out of my head but I felt Tae's soft lips against mine, nibbling on my lower lip.
"T-Tae don't, don't leave me."
He shook his head, cupping my cheek again and kissed my lips. My tears kept coming but he always wiped them away.
"I can't. Not ever, never again." He said so huskily. I pressed my forehead against his and hugged him closer.
I felt myself grow so much hotter than before. The feeling in my stomach wanted to release. My head was spinning, I needed him so bad.
I was panting, he was too. I caressed his sweaty head and licked his neck. He groaned out and tightened, going at a faster pace.
When he hit a particular spot I tensed, arching my back just a bit and raising my hips to meet his. "T-Taetae, I-I" He kissed my lips and squeezed my hand. "Let go, baby I wanna hear you." He said near my ear and I listened.
I grabbed onto his shoulder and shuddered, my body tensing as I felt a wave of pleasure just instantly hit me. My lips let out his mumbled name, too shy to be louder than our ragged breaths.
He too let out a rare moan, grunted. I felt him release into me, pouring his love for me. I felt that warmth inside and I kissed his neck, rubbing his tummy to coax him.
We kissed like long lovers. We didn't let each other go. We both were too high off each other.
"Tae. ." I muttered. He slowed down and with soft gentle strokes lifted his head back up. He smiled and kissed me, letting me calm down and relax from the pleasure he just gave me.
Just when I felt like I was going to drift off in exhausting I felt him move. That hard warmth gently rocked and he pulled out and watched below as his warmth seeped out from me.
"So much, Taetae." I muttered, now too shy to even face him. I wanted to wrap myself in the blankets and run away.
"Only you. ." He said, wiping his forehead dry with his arm.
I tiredly caressed his sweaty back and we laid there. Our playful kisses, soft touches, and calming breaths surrounded the both of us.
Our gazes met once again and I patted his cheek, loving his dorky smile. "I love you." I whispered in a hushed tone.
"Love you too." I caught his smile and I didn't let him shy away. I held his jaw and made him look at me. He rolled off me and I curled up next to him, draping my arm around his waist and my head on his chest.
I traced that scar near his heart, still hating that forever and always. Every time I see a knife just lose it. I get so upset.
He grabbed my hand and placed it on his cheek, he seems to always do that when I touch his stitches.
I gave up trying to touch it without him interrupting me. "I'm tired Taetae." I whined, yawning in the process.
"Then sleep, love." He patted my bare back and I snuggled in closer, letting his warmth wrap around me.
Before I could fully go on a shut down node, he whispered my name. "Fany?"
"What is it Taetae?"
"Stay with me." He said, rubbing my back. His touches still got me feeling tingly.
"I promised you that, didn't I?" I was confused.
"No, move in with me?" He said unsure of himself. I too was unsure. I knew what to say, and I immediately knew what my answer was.
After tonight I knew without a doubt I'd want to be with him. "Fany?" He said interrupting my train of thoughts.
Shy Taetae was the cutest Tae.
"Under one condition."
"What is it?"
"You can't leave."
"I won't? Fany-ah. ."
"Tae, you can't leave because if I decide to stay then you have to also. Even when it gets hard and you can't handle it, you stay."
He held me closer to his front and I sighed.
"You were the one who sent me back to San Francisco. You bought me that plane ticket Taeyeon-ah, you sent me away."
He hummed and kissed the back of my head. "You said you wanted to leave, you wanted nothing to do with me. So I granted you that wish."
"I wish you never did. I wished you didn't let me go so easily. I was so scared Taeyeon-ah, I feel sorry towards you too." I blinked back my tears. Those were such bad days.
"It was so hard for me. That night when I printed out your ticket I wanted to crumple it up and throw it in the fireplace. You know, it wasn't just a choice I could make up so easily Fany-ah." He said under his breath, he sounded tired.
"I don't think I can . . do without you. Survival? Not a chance if you left." He continued.
It was so heavy. my heart began to feel heavy. "But what happens when you get tired of me, when you don't want to do this with me anymore? Where am I supposed to go?" I voice out my reason.
Despite everything that's happened, I think we'll be okay.
He didn't say a word. But I didn't mean for it to come out as pessimistic. I just wanted him to know what could possibly happen.
I squeezed his soft hands. "Can you promise me that then if you cant answer? To not leave me?"
"Yes, I can." He says with an eager nod that I felt.
"Then I will stay with you." No regrets. Just love.
If I hadn't known better I knew he like fist bumped the air. I knew he was smiling widely, like I've made him the happiest kid alive.
I shook my head and continued to snuggle into a better position, wanting to go just go to sleep.
"Thank you Fany-ah." I heard him say one more time. I suddenly felt him pull on my finger and I glanced down groggily. I had to squint to get a better look at it and when I realized what it was, I sat up. I pulled the sheets up my body to cover up my bareness and I looked at him.
That sad tender smile always got to me and he too sat up. He presented me with that promise ring he gave me way back. The promise of marriage in a mere 90 days.
"You said you'll stay. I kept this ring after you threw it back at me when you left. I want to keep that promise. I know right now it's too early to think about it, and that ultimatum was so wrong. But, this promise I want to keep. I want to do it someday, I want to marry you, not in 90 days, but eventually. When you're ready, because I know you love me."
My heart popped, it also stopped. It also started beating so fast that I rushed over to him and tucked myself underneath his chin. "Will you wear this then? Will you accept my promise?" He whispered. I nodded, and placed a hand on his chest.
His trembling hands went up to mine, touching my finger and slipping the silver little ring on it. It still glistened and shined on the candle lit room and I kissed his chest where his scar was in sight. "Love you." I said softly, knowing how hard this must be for him.
We both fought so hard and now we're here. He said something that I couldn't hear because I had my mind just tune out everything. I hummed a poopy response and was knocked out for the rest of the night.
He prepared everything for me so the move was easy. I just had to sit back and relax.
But I couldn't stop thinking about him. I was worried. The feeling kept on increasing the more I spent my times with him.
There was a chance he couldn't have made it, the chance that maybe he was lucky he missed that big artery.
I felt guilty. I started to question why I was here. Why I ended him back to him to quickly. Was it out of pity, guilt or remorse.
A part of me thought it was my duty and job now to take care of him. Another section wanted to be with him just because he makes me happy.
I don't even know anymore. His well being is my top priority now and when a couple of nights ago I saw him lean over a desk, clutching onto his shirt while he gripped onto the orange canister of pills.
I was reminded that he had chronic chest pains.
And that it hurts him a lot.
He suffered so much, and I wasn't there for him half the time. That got me feeling like I owed him. Guilt was like eating away at me day by day. It was borderline an obsession for me to check up on him.
When we made love that night it changed some things. We got more intimate as a couple. It made me realize how well he treats me.
Then I think back about what happened between us and I wish it never did.
I owe him. But at the same time I don't in a way.
He makes me feel so precious and I don't want to lose him.
When he told me he had to back to to that triad, to that stupid clan, group or whatever you call it, it solidified my fears even further.
I can't say this enough but everything and anything that has to do with the triad is bad news. It always will be bad news. Some day or another, it's going to catch up to us. Something bad is going to tear us apart. I have this feeling and it's so unsettling.
These thoughts keep me up well into the night recently. I haven't slept properly in a really long time.
So it brings me here now, laying in bed wrapped around Tae. Eyes wide open and my thoughts as loud as can be.
I loosened myself from his hold and gently placed his arm back into a comfortable position.
I scooted over to the edge of the bed, almost hugging the very end of it.
My hands instantly grasped at my stuffed monkey as I held it close to my chest, curling myself up to keep warm because the unfamiliar coldness was getting to me.
Every night after I knew Tae had fallen asleep, I'd slip away from his hold and sometimes to the other room to cry myself to sleep.
I felt so guilty about us, him.
He was going to be gone, away from this world. No longer breathing the same air as I did.
I can't imagine that. My mind always slips into the state of guilt when I'm with him.
I wiped my tears away and bit my lip harder as I tried to stop my trembling body from shaking so much from my sobs.
The warmth crept up against my back, pressing my body close to the source. I breathed in a sigh of relief, still my face buried into my stuffed monkey.
Tae's arm snaked into my long shirt and caressed my tummy, the warmth gliding over my bare skin as he hummed and pressed a kiss on my temple.
"How long have you been crying?"
I didn't say anything but managed to sniffle and intertwine with the hand that was rubbing my stomach in small gentle strokes.
"Miyoung. ."
I hate you when you say that, just because I tend to fall into your trap when you call me that.
"I-I don't know. Half an hour?"
"No, baby. Since when have you been crying every night?"
He knows, how does he know.
"I-I don't?" I meekly said. He chuckled hoarsely and played with my fingers, rubbing them with his thumb every now and then.
"Don't lie, Miyoungie." He said, looking at me waiting for me to tell him the truth.
I puffed up my cheek and hid into my stuffed animal.
"Ever since we. . .made love." I mumbled into my monkey plush, trying to muffle whatever came out.
I was still a little shy and I haven't gotten over it yet.
"My piggy." He snorts.
He rolls over, bringing me with as I laid on his chest and rested my chin on top of my folded arms that were nestled so nicely on top of his chiseled pecs.
"Don't cry anymore, and don't stray away from me at night because of it. I miss my warm cuddle bug." He says so cutely but his deep voice laced with sleep offset that.
"Sorry."
He shook his head.
"No need to say sorry, let's just spend our days together as is."
"Together. ." I repeated as I traced my finger along his jawline. Forgetting that I was literally laid in front of him as he stared at me oogling his sexiest feature.
"Yes, together."
I kissed his cheek and he reached up to tuck the hair behind my ear, looking at my tiredly but contently.
"Taetae. ."
"Yes, Miyoungie?"
"I love you." I whispered, smiling against his jaw.
He chuckled heartily and cupped my cheek.
"I love you too piglet."
I punched him in the gut for calling me that, but I snuggled against his neck and smiled.
I missed his scent, I missed his warmth around me.
I missed my Taetae.
Before I fell asleep I felt him kiss my cheek. I opened one eye and turned my body towards him.
He had a sleepy smile and kissed me again. "I know you maxed out my credit card today. $25,789? What did you buy today."
Uh oh. I fidgeted in his hug, feeling super guilty. But I couldn't help it. There were so many nice bags and dresses.
He laughed and I felt his lips on my skin again. "You know, I don't mind. I have too much money for myself and I'd rather spend it on you."
I turned around and tucked myself underneath his chin without saying a word.
Knowing he had his eyes on me, I wanted to tell him so many things.
Tae, you're always putting me over yourself. I feel so wanted when I'm with you, like I'm the only thing that matters to you.
My selfless little brown bear, I love you.
He breathed out and held me close, I felt his rapid heartbeats and pulled his shirt down, seeing that still fresh scar when he tried to leave the world.
I touched it and felt the healing stitches. It kind of scared me but I kept staring at it.
Tae grabbed my wandering hand and brought it up to his lips, kissing it and holding it against his cheek. "Don't, think about it anymore. I'm here with you and that's all that matters now."
Still, his words couldn't console my loud mind. Tears started to creep up from my ducts and my eyes started to water. I palmed his cheek but let go.
"I'm sorry. What I did in front of you will always be in the back of your mind. You will always feel this way. This was my fault. I'm sorry." He said softly. He was right, it was all his fault, but I couldn't blame him.
The thought of him leaving was always too much for me. I'll never stop thinking about it.
I let my hot tears stream down as I cried into the crook of his neck. He didn't say anything but pat my back and hold me closer.
Tae, hold me as close as you can. As tight as you can, and please dear god never let me go.
I need you so much, my little bear.