"Gahaaaa?!"

Touma Kamijou screamed as he quickly sat up. His eyes darted to the side and he saw Saitama sitting in a chair a foot away from him. After calming down a bit, he realized he was sitting in a hospital bed.

"Oh hey."

"What…? What happened? "

"Your stomach wound opened up. You lost a lot of blood. Sonic offered to rush you here but that Zapper girl said that would only make things worse. So she had that pig tailed girl bring you doctor with the frog face said you suffered some liver damage but he stitched you up real fine. You also had some burns on your face and forearms from wind damage but they handled that too. He said you should be good to go after about four days but not to do anything strenuous for a while, unless you want to come back. You sure dodged a bullet."

Touma looked at Saitama's empty expression for a second before sitting back a sighing.

"I always somehow end up here anyway."

"He said that too. Oh! That reminds me…"

Saitama reached down to the side of his chair and picked up a white plastic bag. He leaned over and placed it in front of Touma.

"This is for you."

"Huh? What on Earth could this possibly…"

Touma rummaged through the plastic bag to find a small silver platter covered in tin foil. On top of that was a folded pink card with a famous cartoon frog's head on the cover. Touma picked it up and opened it. The interior cover had a picture of the cartoon frog jumping while winking and and thumbs up. There was a message printed above it reading: "You were made to spring into action. I hop you get well soon!"

(Is that supposed to be clever?) Touma though with a slightly irritated look. Then he looked to the second page to see a series of hand written messages. They said "To good health young one. Hone your skills and have a splendid future! - S.F" "Get your strength back. This world needs more heroes like you, rival. - D.C" "Maybe focus on your left arm more? You'd have such strong arms in the future - P.P.P"

A chill ran down Touma's spine after reading that last one. However, the message in the very middle of the page caught his attention, mostly because it was very neatly written.

It said "If you're gonna play hero, take better care of yourself. I'll never forgive you if you get seriously injured! And I actually made these too, so you better like them. The doctor said cut back on the sugar so I used an artificial sweetener. Get well soon! - M. M."

The dot under the exclamation mark had a winking smiley face which just added to Kamijou's confusion but nonetheless, he appreciated the gesture. Touma pulled off a corner of foil and saw twelve round cookies with macadamia nuts protruding in random areas. He lightly smiled.

"She did this awhile back too."

"Gwahfwuwahfwuha."

Saitama's incredibly goofy laugh made Touma wince.

"The hell is wrong with you?"

"You sure seem popular."

"Shut up."

"I'm not saying anything. Aside from that Zapper girl waiting her till visiting hours were over day. And that all she did was look at you without saying anything besides "Please be okay, please be okay," once. And that she had to be practically dragged away by her teleporter friend before they got in trouble at their school."

"It's just a kind gesture. That's all!" Touma said with a red cheeks.

"Okay," Saitama said putting his hands up to signal surrender. "So, you ready to go?"

"Wait, what? What do you mean?"

"You've been asking a lot of questions since you got up."

"Just hold on! You said I'd be good in four days. Does that mean I was passed out in all that time?"

"Yep."

"...ARGHHHHHHHHH!"

"What now?" Saitama said sounding kind annoyed.

"...There was a sale on groceries two days ago…and my parents aren't going to wire me money for another two weeks..."

Touma hung his head low as if he heard grave news. Saitama silently observed him for a few seconds. He walked over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"...I'm sorry…"

Suddenly, Touma's eyes widened.

"Hey... Not that I'm not grateful for your staying but don't you have your own dimension to get back to?"

"Oh yeah. The batteries for Child Emperor's teleporting 8-ball cube were busted in the fight with Abicus. He fixed it in like literally five minutes but they need to charge for about a week."

"Man, that's unfortunate. Where are you guys staying?"

"See, about that…"

div align="center"span /span/div

The look Touma's face could be described as a mix between despair, shock, anger, frustration, and confusion. He knew his fortune was too high to be true when it seemed like things would end on a somber note. The culmination of the intense feelings were so powerful that he couldn't even properly express it without going through some sort of breakdown.

Sprawled out in front of, Mumen Rider, Bang, Child Emperor, and Atomic Samurai sat cross legged while holding game console controllers. Several men, and a woman, wearing black suits crowded the area behind them with intense looks on their faces.

Fubuki lazily sprawled out on Touma's sheetless bed with one of his comic books floated above her face. He would soon discover the whereabouts of his bed sheets wrapped around Puri-Puri Prisoner's crotch area like a fudoshi while he was boredly watching gay porn with on Kamijou's laptop using his headphones. Genos, who had his thumb fixed presumably by Child Emperor, had a wire protruding from his head plugged into an outlet in a corner he next to. He seemed to be reading from a small notebook.

Speed-o'-Sound Sonic was throwing shuriken stars at a surprisingly accurate illustration of Saitama he drew on an open space of wall. Stiyl's towering figure leaned against a section of the wall next to the kitchen. Even though it looked like he was sleeping, he had a lit cigarette in his mouth.

Everywhere Kaijou looked, there was a certain level of destruction and invasion of privacy in his student dorm.

Bang's character must have been defeated because he gave a low gasp.

"Hahahaha, eat it old man," Child Emperor proclaimed.

Bang hung his head low.

"...I need to train more."

"You snooze, you lose gramps-Hey!"

An explosion that was too loud emanated from the screen.

"No fair! You cheated!"

"Sorry kid. Nothing personal. And respect your elders you brat."

While Child Emperor pouted, a blue explosion filled the screen. Atomic Samurai's jaw dropped and his trademark toothpick fell out of his mouth. He tossed the controller on the floor in frustration, causing it to bounce of the floor before being knocked into a section of manga books that organized alphabetically, causing them to fall into disarray.

"Arghhhhh! Dammit! How are you so good at this Mumen Rider?! It's not even in our dimension!"

"It's a racing game… what do you think my favorite genre is?"

Child Emperor stuck out his tongue at the defeated Atomic Samurai.

"Hey," Stiyl said with authority in his voice. "No throwing things. I'm trying to smoke."

Touma sighed a deep sigh that would even concern Stiyl if it were somebody else.

"My...m-m-my…"

"Touuuuuuuuuma!"

A young fair skinned girl in a white nun's habit who seemingly came out of nowhere tackled Touma to the ground but even that wasn't enough to stop him from mumbling "M-m-m-m…" A small calico cat jumped on top of her head and happily meowed as if greeting him. The girl's face was uncomfortably close to his

"Huh? Touma, are you alright? You're making strange sounds that borderline on an incantations. Did you hit your head on the way home?" she asked as she placed a palm on his forehead.

"Index...do you mind explaining what the hell is going on in my dorm?"

Saitama knelt down next to him.

"Yeah, sorry for barging in but you gotta understand. We needed a place to crash and we didn't exactly bring money to spend on a hotel. But your blonde friend with the cool sun glasses was nice enough to point us to your dorm. He said you'd be cool with it."

Touma clenched his right fist.

"Tsuuuuuuchiiiiiimikadoooooooo…" he growled as he grinded his teeth together.

"Yo."

Touma arched his head back to see the upside down image of his grinning "friend" Tsuchimikado Motoharu waving at him front his open door. He was wearing jean shorts and an open green button up shirt with a white flower pattern on it. In his left hand was layers of translucent white bags. But even though they were layered, Touma still saw a what appeared to be the edges of a cardboard carton. With a concerned look, he gently pushed off Index. The sudden movement was enough to scare off the cat so it jumped of Index's head and ran across the room. Index chased after it, running in front of the TV causing a man and woman in suits to complain.

"Sphinx! Come back!" Index said.

Without even so much as a "Hello," Touma opened up the contents of a plastic bag in Tsuchimikado's hand. His face paled as his fear was confirmed. The young Motoharu had somehow purchased three six pack cans of a alcoholic beverage.

"Beer?!" Touma shouted. "You brought…" He stopped talking to close the door and lock it. Then suddenly started to whisper. "You brought beer to a student's dorm?"

"E-yup! We ran out of drinks so I did some grocery shopping."

"Then why couldn't you get actual groceries?"

"What'sa matter Kami-yan? We're all responsible adults here, right guys?"

The room erupted with a various cheers consisting of "Yeah!" and "Damn right!" and "I'm ten."

Saitama looked at Touma with a concerned look.

"...you are cool with it, right?"

With three very noticeable snapping noises that made even Saitama flinch, Touma turned to his bald cohort and slowly put on the most forced Shepford Smile the world has ever seen.

"Am I cool with it?"

Then he shook his limbs aggressively stomped his feet.

"NO I'M NOT COOL WITH IT!"

Touma set down his plastic bag and stomped over to Speed-o'-Sound Sonic and furiously pointed a finger at him.

"How am I supposed to be cool with him drawing my wall and using it for target practice?! What are you, five?!"

Then he stomped over to Genos and did the same.

"And why the hell are you charging yourself while you read?! Don't you know that keeping electronics on while you charge them slows it down?! You're just eating up electricity!"

"?"

Then to the group that sat in front of the TV.

"And who the hell said you could touch my video games?! So help me, you better not have accidentally deleted my save data! I'll mop you silly if you did!"

Then he pointed towards the group dressed in black suits.

"And where the hell were you guys?!"

"Oh, the author forgot about us around the bunny fight and didn't feel like editing us in," said Lily, the girl with a flower on top of her head. "We were in a plot protected bunker hidden in subspace."

"Stop breaking the fourth wall!"

"Fine. We were in a coffee shop that conveniently missed all the action."

"That's better!"

Then he stomped Puri-Puri Prisoner and started typing very quickly.

"And it's okay to be that way but don't you dare watch those kinds of videos on my computer, especially when there's children around!"

"I had head phones…"

"That doesn't make it any better! ...There!"

On the screen were videos of adorable cats on a popular video sharing website.

"And if I catch you watching those kinds of videos again, I'll cut off the Wi-fi! And don't forget to clear my browsing history afterwards!"

When Touma turned around to lecture Fubuki, Puri-Puri Prisoner typed in "furry cat yaoi" into an image search.

Then Fubuki…

"And you…"

"...?"

Touma's finger went limp and his face turned red as he stared at the chest up, skin tight robe wearing Fubuki sprawled out on his bed.

"If you're going to use my bed, at least have the decency to cover up. There are men here so you it's not right to show too much," Touma said lowly while placing his cover over Fubuki's body from the neck down.

"Keep it in your pants," said Stiyl.

With the rage of ten sexually frustrated feminists, Touma furiously stomped over to Stiyl and snatched the cigarette out of his mouth with his right hand. He then threw it to the ground and stepped on it with the tip of his shoe, twisting his foot to be sure that the flame was extinguished.

The fuck."

"What the hell is wrong with you?! There are children and a senior citizen present and you have the stones to smoke this in my dorm?! Let's not forget that you're a minor and second hand smoke is dangerous to anyone of any age! You really have no morals, do you?! Also..."

Touma leaned forward and whisper while covering the side of his mouth with his hand.

"Why are you still here? I thought defeating Abicus was your only objective."

"It was. There were some complications involving our mode of transportation so we'll be making ourselves comfortable until late some time tomorrow."

"And where's Abicus?"

Tsuchimikado, after handing everyone including Child-Emperor a can of beer, cut in.

"He's currently being detained until these heroes get their dimension hopping machine working. Don't worry, he's in a place where he can't use any magic. Not that it matters since he seems to have mellowed out."

Suddenly, Abicus' head peered out from underneath Touma's bead. He was still wrapped in metal coils but this time he had blindfold on.

"Somebody say my name?"

"Gah?! Why is he under my bed? I thought you said he was in a place where he couldn't use magic?!"

"I didn't say where. Also, every single detention facility just happened to be full tonight. So that pig tailed girl entrusted the heroes to keep him under watch. But just in case, they're sending over someone everyday to check on him."

"*Sighhhhh* Oh, speaking of which, did you find out what happened to Ms. Yomikawa?"

"She was injured in a fight with Abicus but it wasn't anything severe enough to keep her from working. She'll be back tomorrow as if nothing ever happened although I doubt she'll ever want to bring this up again. Not that it'll stop students from asking. Oh, and Ms. Komoe says you have detention for the next two months for ditching school. She says you can avoid that if you do a 5 page research paper in MLA format before but knowing your hectic life, you're probably going to struggle getting it done in spite of how easy it is. Also, check your phone. I texted you the homework from the classes you missed."

As Touma checked his phone Stiyl walked over to Abicus and stomped on his forehead.

"Hey, get your ass back under there."

"Ah, sorry to bother you but I appear to be running low on oxygen."

"We gave you a straw, didn't we?"

"I seem to have misplaced it."

"Yeah? Well I'll misplace my foot in your ass if you don't get back under there."

"*Sigh* Very well."

With the sound of metal scraping against the floor, Abicus used his feet to pull himself back under the bed.

"WHAT?!"

The room turned to the shouting Touma.

"How am I supposed to get all of this done and wake up on time for school?! It's 11 o'clock for crying out loud!"

"Relax buddy. I paid some guy to do this for me. I'll send you the finished copy if you feel like it."

"Well regardless, it'll be a pain in the ass having to baby sit you all! Index, how could you let things get like this?! You were supposed to house sit while I was gone!"

"I was but then Motoharu-san put Stiyl in charge when he went to the store!"

Touma glared at the Tsuchimikado who put gave him a thumbs up and then at Stiyl who was picking his ear."

"I need a drink… Wait, you said I ran out of drinks? Oh no…"

Touma jogged over to his kitchen and opened up his refrigerator. What was previously mildly filled with enough food and drinks to last up to next week was emptied with the exception of an open carton of milk, a half eaten pizza, and a boot.

"...My rations…"

"Yeah, sorry. We went a little crazy the first few nights."

"'We?' You've got your own fridge!"

"Yeah, but I lost it. Lighten up. I'll pay you back eventually."

Tsuchimikado handed Touma a can of beer. Touma stared at him with annoyed look and snatched it out of his hand. He turned around with the intent to pour it into the sink. He gasped and almost lost his balance at what he saw.

"K-Kanzaki?!"

Kanzaki Kaori, one of the fewer than 20 Saints in the entire world, hand tape wrapped around her fingers as she cut up a few onions. She had tears in her eyes but it was most likely due to the onions as opposed to cutting herself. She turned around after hearing Touma yelling. Instead of wearing her usual white t-shirt, she borrowed one of Touma's orange shirts.

"O-oh. Hello Touma."

"Are you...cooking?"

Touma ran out back into the main living quarters.

"How dare you all enforce dated gender roles onto this poor young lady?!"

"No, no!" Kanzaki said waving her hands in front of her. "Every meal, we took turns cooking by drawing straws. It just happened to be my turn tonight. Although I'll admit, this is a lot harder than it looks. I see it takes another kind of strength to handle these kinds of duties on a daily basis."

Normally, Touma did not make a big deal out of Kanzaki's angelic figure but the combined stimulus of her expressing her vulnerableness along with wearing a shirt that was way too tight around the chest made Touma's cheeks red. He almost considered taking a sip of the alcohol in his hand to combat the immense stress of the but snapped out of it. He walked over the the sink and put the can in upside down.

Tsuchimikado smiled widely as he anticipated that outcome upon giving Touma the beer. Touma looked at him with a bit of annoyance and walked out of the kitchen looking optimistic.

"Well, that's not much of a problem. I can boil tap water if I'm thirsty. Plus, I've got these home baked cookies all to myself…"

*CRUNCH!* *CRUNCH!*

Touma looked down to see that he has somehow manage to get both feet on top of his plastic bag. He leaned down to reach into it and unwrapped the tin foil from the platter. The cookies were all smashed up with the exception of a piece the size of his thumb. Surprisingly enough, the card from earlier was perfectly fine.

He pulled out the lone fragment with his index finger and thumb. He brought it to his mouth, Sphinx jumped through the air and snatched it with his tiny mouth. Index stepped on the platter in pursuit of him.

"Sphinx, no! You ate already!"

Touma had on a somber smile and blinked a few times. A light tear rolled out of his left eye.

"Uh, you okay?" Saitama asked.

Touma rubbed his eye and got up.

"I'm fine. I'm gonna go take a hot shower to relieve my stress and then get started on my homework."

Touma placed the battered tray and plastic bag on the kitchen counter next to Kanzaki

He slowly walked over to his bathroom.

"Okay, just make sure you use a napkin!" Tsuchimikado shouted but the bathroom door just closed.

Saitama turned to Tsuchimikado with a look of disapproval.

"That wasn't very cool."

"He's always doing that," Kanzaki said bitterly. "Him and his childish games."

"Relax guys. I've got my sources. All of his expenses will be taken care of. Don't tell him, it'll be a lot funnier that way."

"Okay, but you're messing with him too much. Kid just helped save possible countless universes so you should at least show some gratitude."

Tsuchimikado turned to face Saitama.

"You think he feels the same way?"

The room went dead silent. Nobody was talking but mostly everyone felt a little guilty for using up Kamijou's resources in spite of what he contributions to ending the catastrophe from a few days ago.

Tsuchimikado smile dropped and was replaced with a serious expression, something that even Saitama could see he wasn't used to doing. His glaring scowl was barely visible through his blue sunglasses. But he returned it with an equally penetrating look.

"You really think he saved our asses just so he could get a thank you? That's not the kind of person he is. I guarantee you that. Things like what you saw are normal for him but he doesn't go around begging for people for gratitude. The only incentive he needs is seeing people in danger."

"..."

"He doesn't risk life and limb for recognition or approval. He just does it because he wants to. The only thanks he wants is you living your life. So don't lecture me about how to treat my friend."

There was some tension in the room but it was more on Tsuchimikado's part than Saitama's. Regardless, he was able to see the effect the young Kamijou had on people around him. Whether it was because he valued his own life or had someone or something dear to him, the young man made it apparent he was thankful for what Touma did. In his own way, he already showed that.

Saitama chuckled. He placed his palms out defensively.

"Alright. My bad."

Tsuchimikado's smile returned, seeing that his message got through.

"While that was a wonderful heart filled speech about friendship," Genos said appearing out of nowhere in front of Motoharu. "If you talk to my sensei like that again, I'll have to beat your punk ass back to Punksville, Punkslyvania."

"Whoa! Genos, chill out! And where did you learn such language?"

"Nah, don't worry. He must be tipsy."

"I'll make you tipsy you young Horatio Caine looking mother fucker."

Index and Sphinx covered their mouths.

"N-nani?!" said Bang.

"FUCK," said Puri-Puri Prisoner.

"Shit fam," said a frozen professor with a rectangular head.

"The hell?!" shouted Atomic Samurai.

"His savagery has breached dimensional boundaries!" shouted a drunk Child Emperor.

"He was just a child!" yelled Fubuki and Abicus.

"Injustice!" shouted Mumen Rider

The Blizzard Group just just said "Ohhhhhhhh," for five seconds.

"I understood that reference," said Stiyl to himself with a surprising display of pride.

"Heh."

Tsuchimikado chuckled as he adjusted he sunglasses with his index finger. Then he got so close to Genos' face that their foreheads were touching.

"WhatthefueckdidyousayaboutmeyouprettyboyRoboCop?"

"You try hard totally raaaaad dude!"

"Reject Ken doll looking Terminator!"

"Wanna be surfer boy!"

"Gender bent Android 18!"

"Their savage levels are off the charts!" said Child Emperor as he took a few clumsy steps. "And so is my blood alcohol level." He then fell over the game console in front of him.

"Hey!" said Index as he ran over to him. "You're not supposed to drink that!"

"Go to hell, mom."

"Ah, how good it is to be young and energetic," Bang said.

"Aren't you supposed to be a more responsible than that?! You're old and a hero!"

"H-hey," Mumen Rider said. "I never lost. Why are all the controllers taken?"

Mountain Ape, Eyelashes, Lily, and Piko of the Blizzard Group pretended not to hear him.

"...I'm going out for a smoke," Stiyl said as he walked towards the door and exited through it.

Kanzaki felt something tugging on her shoulder. She turned around and saw a grinning Atomic Samurai.

"If you spout any more lewd jokes, I will be forced to end your life."

"Easy, easy! It's nothing like that. I just have a little request."

"...What kind of request?" Kanzaki said squinting.

"Well, you see. It's not everyday that you meet a swordsman, sorry, swordswoman, with skill such as yours. I would be so humble honored if you would be so kind as clash blades with me."

Kanzaki stared at the suddenly polite Atomic Samurai with suspicion for a moment before chuckling and lightly smiling.

"Hmph. If it's to test you mettle, then yes, I would be interested. However, flattery will get you nowhere with me. But let's hold that off some other time, okay?"

The sound of a can opening was heard.

"Then it's a date."

"...That's not what we agreed to."

Everyone's attention was drawn to a high pitched scream that came from the bathroom. The door flung open and Touma was tossed diagonally across the room. Puri-Puri Prisoner somersaulted to avoid being hit. Touma clung to the wall for a second before

From the bathroom entrance, Tatsumaki's tiny frame floated from out of the bathroom with white towels wrapped around her hair and body from the chest below.

To clarify, Tatsumaki attempted to use her psychic powers on Kamijou. But upon trying, Imagine Breaker prevented it from spreading to the rest of his body. So he opened the door with her powers and kicked him across the room.

"What's the matter with you?! Haven't you ever heard of knocking?! Can't a lady take a hot shower without any of you perverted men barging in on her?! I bet this kind of thing happens all of the time, doesn't it?! Answer me, you pervert!"

"In order?" Touma groaned. "The universe hates me, it's my house, it's possible, and more than you think."

"O-oh. W-well…"

"Now it's my turn. Have you ever heard of locking the door?"

"...You know, you've got a smart mouth!"

"You ever heard of the term hypocrite either?" Touma lowly said.

However, Tatsumaki gasped. She floated over towards Tatsumaki and began stomping him out.

"Hypocrite?! I'll teach you to call me a hypocrite! You little brat! That's all you are! You're a little immature braaaat!"

"...Hrk?! Please stop…"

"No! You need to learn to mind your manners!"

"...I can see up your towel."

Tatsumaki gasped even louder than she did before and picked up Touma's bed using her powers. In a second, Atomic Samurai, Puri-Puri Prisoner, Bang and Kanzaki surrounded her.

"That's enough, Tornado," said Atomic Samurai.

"To get respect, you must first show it," said Bang. "I know that may be difficult for you but for the decency's sake, compose yourself.

Tatsumaki stared at the wall of defense before her with a determined scowl.

"Hey, if that bathroom's free, I'm gonna go head and use it," Saitama said as he walked towards it. "I've been needing to let out a wicked fart for some time now but I don't want to be rude."

"Oh no you don't!"

The bite sized esper spun around and shut the door using her powers. She dashed over to Saitama. She seemed to have forgotten about the bed she was holding up as it fell. Luckily, Fubuki used her powers to prevent it from crushing Abicus with a loud noise that would have aroused suspicion.

"I'm not done with it yet!"

"Oh come on, it'll only take a sec."

"Do it outside! I don't want to room smelling of fart while I bathe."

"Who the hell gave you permission to use my bath?" Kamijou said under his breath.

"Fine. I'll do it outside."

Afterwards, Saitama opened the front door and walked outside onto the podium. Tastumaki stuck her tongue out at him and went back inside the bathroom.

Touma stood up to observe the ongoing chaos that occurred in his dorm.

Speed-o'-Sound Sonic was teaching Index how to throw a kunai. Mumen Rider was fighting Eyelashes over a controller. Piko was beating his high best time in his racing game. Atomic Samurai was drinking four beers at once while the rest of the Blizzard Group yelled "Chug! Chug! Chug!" Child Emperor was trying to flirt with Kanzaki by sharing his lollipop to which she respectfully declined. Tsuchimikado and Genos were still bickering like cats and dogs. Puri-Puri Prisoner was looking at gifs of furry cat yaoi. And worst of all, Fubuki was reading a manga that Touma didn't even read yet.

The spiky haired teenager sighed yet again.

"Could this get any worse?"

Suddenly, an explosion lit up the room, launching all of the guests over the balcony and into a seven story free fall.

Stiyl's cigarette fell out of his mouth indicative of the utter shocked he felt. You see, farts contain methane and hydrogen, which are both highly flammable. So naturally, when Saitama's godly gas came in contact with the lit flame from a cigarette Stiyl didn't care enough to stomp out, a massive explosion spread throughout the space behind them.

The bathroom door was blown away, revealing a naked and stunned Tatsumaki before she as she was about to enter the shower.

"Oops…" Saitama said, looking just as shocked as Stiyl and Tatsumaki.

Meanwhile, Touma and company continued their freefall. Regardless of that fact, Kamijou stared indifferently at the oncoming pavement. But he did shout one thing at the top of his lungs.

"Curse my rotten LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!"

But of course, they all landed safely thanks to the heroics of the Z-City Heroes.